Good gosh almighty, OP...

Thanksgiving is coming up...

"Turducken"...

How is this even a question?  Kill the birds when they are on your property.  Have your wife clean them.  Then make soup.

Call her on the phone and let her know that you are going to kill her ducks the next time they are on your property.  You warned her with the exact consequences of her inactions and it won't be a big surprise to her when her flock comes up short. When she comes over to ask about it inform her that it will happen again and that you would appreciate her picking up the carcasses out of your yard.

In Oregon you can shoot dogs for hazing your livestock, I would have no problem shooting poultry for shitting on my driveway.

Open up a little roadside chicken stand,
maybe just on weekends to start.

How long has she lived at "the farm"?

Border collie or trump wall.....10' higher for flying ducks.....make her pay for it.

Chickens, ducks, cows, flowerbeds and poop. Can I have your problems?

How about trapping them and turning them over to Animal Regulations?  You should certainly be within your rights if you are not harming them.   Let her go down to bail them out and after the bills begin to add up, she'll figure out how to keep them away from your property?

Or, take it public and start a counter website advising others exactly what is happening and asking for public opinion and suggestions?

Maybe warn her first, or not.

A lot of funny advice in here, but I can't kill her animals without getting into trouble myself.

I also have zero desire to eat these birds.  When we first moved in she brought over some eggs and lettuce from her garden.  The eggs literally smelled like death and didn't even make it into our house and the lettuce was loose in a dirty walmart sack and was mostly brown and wilted.  

These people are totally unclean.  Luckily we have cedar trees that block of their house and most of their property.  I had to go back there once and their front porch was covered in cow, chicken, and duck shit.  Their front door had chicken shit all over it from them sitting above it.  Same for the windows and you could barely see through them they were so dirty.  

Their house and property used to be nice when the old owners had it, but they have flat out ruined it.

Unattended fowl on my property will be retrieved...when the resident GWP is not sleeping, that is. I suggest you consider investing in one.

In before someone doesn't realize chickens and ducks can fly. Wasn't there a jackass here that didn't know turkeys can fly or was that something I saw in a movie? It's hard to separate reality and ARF life sometimes.

Can I put bacon in my turducken?

Learn to make roast duck.

No 'yotes in your area?

Would they eat a wild fowl, rabbit, squirrel??

I've raised my share of chickens and know a couple people who have raised one hell of a lot more than me. None of us gave the birds anything but chicken feed, veggies out of the garden and what bugs the birds nab.

They better not go to any parking lot around here, then. There's goose shit everywhere.

Who would know???

Well maybe if you wait around some here will post some legal loophole or something where you can get someone else(ie the Government) to solve your problems for you; since the simple steps you can take yourself are too scary.  

Too simple of a solution; requires the OP to take care of the issue himself.

It's against the law to do that and I'd be admitting to it.  Bad idea.

The trapping idea isn't bad.  But I'm not buying a trap or shelling out any money over this.

Before I ran afowl of the local Fish Cop, I wanted to have all my ducks in a row. You are correct about domestic waterfowl. I just didn't want to have to explain that after I had been charged.



 

Suppressed 22lr bolt gun

Kill it and grill it.

Make a dinner pic post and reference this one.

Automatic 10/10

Winner winner, chicken dinner?

My old neighbor did the same shit until one day my golden got tired of it and went on a rampage. Man the neighbor was pissed , but hey you gotta take some control of them.

Of course! (Slaps forehead)

He could have his own television show, like those guys with the duck calls.

I think everybody knows that fowl can fly. That's why people clip their wings. It has to be done on a regular basis, but it will keep them from reaching the top of a fence.

My neighbor has a bunch of chickens, some ducks, and a pair of turkeys ~ all pets. All have names, none will ever be butchered and eaten, except for what the coyotes, hawks,minks, and even once, one of our dogs, gets. When she neglects the wing clipping, the birds can make the top of the fence. If it looks like the coast is clear,ie one of our dogs is not in sight, they come down on our side.

Had some mild damage in the garden ~ mostly scratching the mulch out looking for bugs, but also digging up potatoes, and pecking at tomatoes. Rabbit fencing around the garden solved that, and I needed to do it anyway, because the rabbits are way worse than the birds as far as garden destruction. Before putting up the rabbit fencing, I used to shoot the chickens in the ass with a Daisy Red Rider. No damage, but they sure ran like hell when hit in the ass.

The two turkeys are hilarious. So tame that they are always coming over for a visit. I can be at the workbench in the front of the garage, feel something brush the back of my leg, and there they are. I think they're just wondering if what I'm doing involves food.

I don't care about having her fowl coming around. Not much of a big deal. I call the turkeys my neighborhood watch committee.
Guess what? The hose takes care of the occasional pile of turkey shit.

Since the OP mentioned it, maybe some aren't aware of how it works as far as getting and eating eggs.

Country folks can skip this part...
There is no separate exit tube for eggs. They come out of the bird's asshole. They usually show some evidence of this by the presence of a little shit on the shell. But the eggshell also has one of nature's miracles on it ~ a secretion by the hen that provides an impervious barrier. As long as the shell is not washed, the coating acts as a biological barrier. It keeps bacteria out, and prevents spoiling. Unwashed eggs should never be refrigerated. They can sit in a bowl out on your counter for a month or more, and remain fresh. They should only be washed immediately before eating them.

Here in the US, our nanny state FDA has dictated that chicken poop on eggshells is a horrible public health hazard that must be regulated away. So all commercially sold eggs here must be washed. Unfortunately, that also removes the protective coating, which means that the eggs must now be kept refrigerated, and have a shorted shelf life. Most of the rest of the world, does not have this silly regulation, and they all keep their eggs out at room temp. The first time you travel abroad and see eggs in the grocery store at room temp it can be puzzling.

edit to add:

One time I commented to my Dad about the damned grackles that were out in my yard pecking away at something. They're so obnoxious and have such an ugly sounding voice that I had come to hate them. But when he informed me that what they are pecking at was crabgrass seeds, I got an entirely different opinion of them. Same with chickens out in your yard and even in the garden. Sure, they may ruin an occasional tomato, or spread some mulch around, but what they are mainly doing is hunting bugs. The bugs that can ruin your garden or turf. And their crap is primo fertilizer for garden and grass. If anyone has ever seen a chicken wipe out a nest of ground wasps, they will have a new appreciation for them

This is good advice.  Thank you.

I'm not to a point of getting the law involved, but it's in my back pocket for now.  

I've been taking a lot of pictures and figured I'd only communicate via text from now on so that it's documented.

I did talk to a deputy already and he's the one that told me not to shoot them or kill them or I could get into trouble.  He did say what she is doing is against the law.  

I'm thinking about having a lawn guy come out and quote redoing the weed barrier and fixing the damage, and then mailing a certified copy to her.  Tell her she can pay for it now or deal with small claims court.

I don't have time to fix this shit and I shouldn't have to.  

Horse and mule feed works well too.

Find people giving away cats, no paper trail style, and "release them" in the area. A hungry feline is a hell of a predator.

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OK, to everyone suggesting fencing....  Besides the whole issue of me having to foot a bill for a lot of fencing to help stop a neighbor from breaking the law.  And besides the whole issue of chickens and ducks can still being able to get over them with clipped wings.  Let me explain to you my current fencing situation..  

My backyard is large and completely chain-link.  Albeit, it does a good job at keeping them out, they still manage to get in there.

The sides of my front yard are fenced too, one is a nice PVC plank fence that one neighbor put up around his entire property, and the other is ugly hog wire the chicken lady uses to keep her cow on her property.  She uses hog wire to help keep dogs out but all her birds can go right through it.  

So you don't want to eat them, and you don't want to turn your dog loose on them. That rules out my first two suggestions.

You don't want to spend any money on fences, or even traps.

My only suggestion at this point is to either call your sheriff back and file charges, or get animal control involved. They should loan you some traps if nothing else.

My dog won't go after them.  I've tried.  

OP, it appears to me that you can make bank selling free range poultry. If it's on your land, hey, why not?
Set up a table right next to hers at the farmers market!

I think if a chicken or duck trespasses onto your property it becomes yours.  

Enjoy your fresh poultry.

A friend of mine had a similar issue with a neighbor's guinea hens. One day the guinea hens starting attacking his cat, and over the next couple days the cat had killed all 12 guinea hens. His dogs didn't do anything about the hens.

As mentioned:

Shoot
Season
Shaddap

ETA:  Reminded me of the neighbor lady's peacocks and guineas.  Fourteen guineas got ran over in the road, all in one day.  The peacock got in our yard and on the hood of the wife's new Tahoe, scratched the shit out of it.  I came home from work to her plucking him for the smoker, and he tasted GOOD!

Check with Animal Regs, they may have some loaner traps available, or might even come to you and do the trapping.

As someone who has lived with a 10 acre pond in his back yard for 18 years that attracted many Geese, I can tell you that they make one hell of a mess shitting on the driveway.

I understand your problem OP.

Get a dog. Doesn't have to be a big dog.  A Jack Russell would work well.

When I got tired of messing with the Geese I just released my hounds. They loved the taste of Goose and their coats got nice and shiny and they looked great after eating a few.

In a short time, the Geese learned to stay down at the pond and not venture up around the house/driveway.

My uncle had problems with packs of "domestic" dogs coming onto his property, running and killing his sheep and goats.  He called the sheriff's department and a deputy came out.  Gist of the conversation was:   How many acres do you have here?  A: 400.   do you have a rifle? A: yes.  Do you have a shovel? A:yes.  The deputy then said something like, "I am confident you can take care of the issue without us having to come back out here.  Have a good day."

You could always go over and shit on her driveway yourself.

Her land = pets and livestock; on your land = nuisance animals

My GSDs love chasing birds. No issue here.


But if I were you, I'd go talk to her in person (gets the point across a lot better than a text or even a phone call) to tell her to keep her stupid fucking birds off my shit and then start drop kicking her stupid ass birds back into her yard.

Doesn't cost anything. Don't have to involve the cops. Don't have to kill the birds.

Do it.

OP, where do you live?  My GSD has no qualms and maybe yours will pick up on it.

you literally have free range organic coming to your front door
if her flock was diseased you would know it


red ryder bb gun
I catch my hens in something they shouldn't and the red ryder makes them move along without harm

buy her turkey's.  Then prepare for "turduckin"

Once, years ago, my cousin ran over one of his neighbors ducks.  It's funnier now than it was then lol.

Also, I'm reminded of Rodney Dangerfield: "what? did somebody step on a duck?"

Good luck OP.