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Posted: 9/8/2020 12:12:25 PM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 9/8/2020 12:27:08 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I used to know a guy who breed ostriches. One day he got cornered while cleaning the pen, after his hen had laid some eggs. Anyway, he ended up in the hospital for a few weeks. He was lucky he lived through it. Worst part was, he had to kill his hen with a shovel to survive. Same reason you don't piss off a cassowary. |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 12:31:36 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Whatever. I would wig out and beat the fuck out of that thing. You could grab it's pencil ass neck and break it like a stick, or swing it around over your head like Conan the Birdbarian and bash it against a tree. (horizontal, if you would) |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 1:01:10 PM EDT
[#4]
Aunt/Uncle use to have Emus. I liked them although one hen was a bitch but after getting cracked upside the head with a broom handle one good time she never bothered me. Funny part was one escaped and the local PD got a call from a lady two streets over saying a dinosaur was in her yard. The funniest part was seeing my uncle load an adult Emu in a dodge caravan
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Posted: 9/8/2020 1:03:27 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Aunt/Uncle use to have Emus. I liked them although one hen was a bitch but after getting cracked upside the head with a broom handle one good time she never bothered me. Funny part was one escaped and the local PD got a call from a lady two streets over saying a dinosaur was in her yard. The funniest part was seeing my uncle load an adult Emu in a dodge caravan A guy in my neighborhood used to a small flock of emus. It was really funny because you could see them from the freeway which was very close to his property. We used to get confused tourists driving around looking for the San Diego Zoo. 
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:05:02 PM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:17:00 PM EDT
[#7]
A guy that lives about half mile through the woods from my place has some emus. One of them figured out how to get in and out of the pen and would show up in the pasture occasionally. A new neighbor was having his house built between the emu farmer and my place. One day a group of Hispanic guys came running down to my end of the road all in a panic, looking back over their shoulders like Godzilla was chasing them.
I was working in the yard when they showed up, I finally got one to tell me what the hell was going on. All he could say was "Pollo Grande! Pollo Grande!" while pointing in the direction they came from. I figured out what happened then and burst out laughing, they weren't as amused as I was. 
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:27:57 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Aunt/Uncle use to have Emus. I liked them although one hen was a bitch but after getting cracked upside the head with a broom handle one good time she never bothered me. Funny part was one escaped and the local PD got a call from a lady two streets over saying a dinosaur was in her yard. The funniest part was seeing my uncle load an adult Emu in a dodge caravan "Wow. That is the foulest feces I've ever smelled." --Dale Gribble exiting his truck, full of emus |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:30:36 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:47:23 PM EDT
[#10]
I got my ass kicked by a swan once. It tried to “Leda” me. I hit it with a stick and thought it was dead, but the mean fucker lived.
A feral emu attacked my cousin while he was on horseback. It proved to be a poor (and fatal) choice for the bird. His summary? “It’s scary as hell to have a bird that big coming at you. If I was on foot, it’d have killed me.” |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 3:51:46 PM EDT
[#11]
They're basically dinosaurs.
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Posted: 9/8/2020 4:00:19 PM EDT
[#12]
sweep the leg
with a weed whacker |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 4:03:04 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Can I watch, or will you at least have someone take video? (horizontal, if you would) Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Whatever. I would wig out and beat the fuck out of that thing. You could grab it's pencil ass neck and break it like a stick, or swing it around over your head like Conan the Birdbarian and bash it against a tree. (horizontal, if you would) no shit!! i'll bring the popcorn and beers!!! |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 5:10:35 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: no shit!! i'll bring the popcorn and beers!!! Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Whatever. I would wig out and beat the fuck out of that thing. You could grab it's pencil ass neck and break it like a stick, or swing it around over your head like Conan the Birdbarian and bash it against a tree. (horizontal, if you would) no shit!! i'll bring the popcorn and beers!!! |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 5:16:55 PM EDT
[#15]
I ran into a wild one on the side of the road when I was near Cape Tribulation in Australia.
With all the poisonous and dangerou shit I encountered down there (which was a lot!) cassowaries are def around the top of the list in terms of things I didn't want to fuck with. |
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Posted: 9/8/2020 5:29:49 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There were [are] a few free ranging cASSowaries by a former caregivers home. I guess they could handle winter in Michigan. Wildlife place next to the cement plant I worked at in Jersey had an Emu that would often escape. Fueling my truck one day, I turned around and Super Chicken was standing there staring at me. Scared the shit outta me! All the other drivers thought it was pretty funny 
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Posted: 9/8/2020 11:06:00 PM EDT
[#17]
What round for moa?
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Posted: 9/9/2020 12:16:32 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What round for moa? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/3097/0A9C973C-315A-4887-8767-ACAE84130209-1583737.jpg 2,3,4,5 are scary as hell to think about |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 12:29:37 AM EDT
[#19]
As someone who grew up having ostriches around...fuck those things.
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Posted: 9/9/2020 12:37:28 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They look smaller than the Australian Emu.  Gigantic fuck off claws, aggressive and fast They run towards you and then leap with the claws pointing forward. They honestly scare the fuck out of me. And I muck around with venomous shit here in Sydney |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 12:45:59 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Gigantic fuck off claws, aggressive and fast They run towards you and then leap with the claws pointing forward. They honestly scare the fuck out of me. And I muck around with venomous shit here in Sydney Train a Secretary Bird for security against the venomous critters. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 12:57:01 AM EDT
[#22]
I know the croc hunter Steve Irwin hated dealing with birds, said he'd rather deal with the crocs.
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Posted: 9/9/2020 1:05:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What round for cassowary? Birdshot Silly |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 2:19:56 AM EDT
[#24]
Imagine a flock(?) of those birds released at a Antifa riot.
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Posted: 9/9/2020 4:31:20 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Train a Secretary Bird for security against the venomous critters. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Gigantic fuck off claws, aggressive and fast They run towards you and then leap with the claws pointing forward. They honestly scare the fuck out of me. And I muck around with venomous shit here in Sydney Train a Secretary Bird for security against the venomous critters. Australia has a bad history of introducing things to deal with things...which goes wrong Introduce Secretary Bird. Secretary Bird flourishes in a food rich environment and has no natural predators. Secretary bird becomes an invasive species |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 5:04:19 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Australia has a bad history of introducing things to deal with things...which goes wrong Introduce Secretary Bird. Secretary Bird flourishes in a food rich environment and has no natural predators. Secretary bird becomes an invasive species Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Gigantic fuck off claws, aggressive and fast They run towards you and then leap with the claws pointing forward. They honestly scare the fuck out of me. And I muck around with venomous shit here in Sydney Train a Secretary Bird for security against the venomous critters. Australia has a bad history of introducing things to deal with things...which goes wrong Introduce Secretary Bird. Secretary Bird flourishes in a food rich environment and has no natural predators. Secretary bird becomes an invasive species Invasive species are usually introduced with good intentions, without regard to potential outcomes. Most notable example I can think of offhand is the use of Kudzu as a means of erosion control. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 8:35:38 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Hmmmm, someone needs to release a flock of those in downtown Portland. is 'flock' the correct term for more than one? |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 8:50:17 AM EDT
[#28]
Had no idea they were that big.
Holy shit. Jurassic Tweety. Seems like an odd choice to keep as a pet. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 9:05:56 AM EDT
[#29]
OKC zoo has one.
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Posted: 9/9/2020 9:31:57 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Birdshot Silly Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: What round for cassowary? Birdshot Silly   
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Posted: 9/9/2020 9:44:56 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: is 'flock' the correct term for more than one? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Hmmmm, someone needs to release a flock of those in downtown Portland. is 'flock' the correct term for more than one?  A murder of crows. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 10:33:32 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What round for moa? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/3097/0A9C973C-315A-4887-8767-ACAE84130209-1583737.jpg (didn't even make the cut) |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 11:05:59 AM EDT
[#33]
My three ounce conure is scary when she gets hormonal. Why anyone would keep a bird that size is beyond me.
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Posted: 9/9/2020 1:05:36 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sooooo . . . no lions, tigers, bears, chimps . . . giant snakes . . . And no crazy big birds. Got it! Am I missing anything? Sharks! Definitely no sharks!  ETA: I know what would happen if I passed out in my chicken yard - and it occurs to me regularly when trying to hand-feed the hungry fuckers! Yikes!  Don’t forget about crocodilians. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 1:20:57 PM EDT
[#35]
Example of the fact that birds are just contemporary dinosaurs.
 Chicken stealing mouse from cat |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 1:23:22 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryPlenty of birds have front facing eyes. Notably, all of the predator birds like owls, hawks, eagles, etc... |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 1:57:31 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Aunt/Uncle use to have Emus. I liked them although one hen was a bitch but after getting cracked upside the head with a broom handle one good time she never bothered me. Funny part was one escaped and the local PD got a call from a lady two streets over saying a dinosaur was in her yard. The funniest part was seeing my uncle load an adult Emu in a dodge caravan In college my buddy was a vet student and had a part time job at a zoo or some kind of animal place and asked me one day to head to Mobile and help him transport 4-5 emus from a ranch to the place he worked. Didn't know anything previous about emus. Found out right quick some things about emus. 1- they are fast. 2- They do not appreciate being laid hands on and have zero sense of humor. and 3- They have NO interest in cooperating while being stuffed into a transport cage. Easily one of the most exhausting days of my life. If I had any clue how bad they could fuck you up, I think I would have declined his invite. |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 2:02:06 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Birdshot Silly Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: What round for cassowary? Birdshot Silly 
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Posted: 9/9/2020 2:06:40 PM EDT
[#39]
 Failed To Load Title |
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Posted: 9/9/2020 2:24:27 PM EDT
[#40]
Hmm, put a double run of fence around your property, and let a couple dozen of them run loose in there.
Put up signs: "Beware of the Birds." |
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Posted: 9/11/2020 4:44:12 PM EDT
[#41]
 Kangaroo vs Emu: FIGHT! |
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