Or learn to make more money so you can actually live a little. Shut your lights off

Live on rice?   No pets?

I understand cutting back on non-essentials but what you describe is sitting in a dark room waiting to die.

He has listed the extreme measures save for moving to a cave. One will have to determine their preference for comfort and how much money they are willing to save.

I recall my grandfather telling of a time in the 1920's when it was in the 100+ temperatures during the summer. People took their beds out of their houses (no A/C remember) and slept in the town park.

I really appreciate all the honest responses in this thread.

We don't have a nice house, but it's paid for, 5.6 acres on a river, heavily wooded, private. We'll build a new house, after the pole shed gets finished.
All my money goes back into my business. We try to live a debt free lifestyle, but it's pretty much month to month.

A couple days ago I had a conversation with my 18 year old son. He is building credit so he can buy a $25,000 truck in the next year.
I asked him to read the six pages of this thread and take notes. I want to see his notes by Sunday night.

I love you T

VERY wise. Auto debt is a bastard. More expensive insurance, etc.
I abstained from auto debt for 10 years, but was forced to buy this new Kia. I hate every single payment I send in!

You've said "forced to buy that Kia" at least twice now. I doubt there was a gun held to your head, or other threats of physical violence.

So let's hear how you were "forced" to buy it.

Forced by circumstances and pressure from family. I have a helluva commutw amd have run through several used cash cars in the last 2 years...reliability of my.last car was getting to be am issue so there I was...wife was concerned about my safety in older cars and put a shitloas of pressure on me to get a newer car. Credit union offered better rate on a new car vs used...so maybe not a gun to the head but circumstances forced it...

I'm broke because I'm a dumbass who didn't go to college in the early 2000's when it was still cheap.
Then I went from one shit job to the other.
While in these shit jobs, I decided racking up debt on trucks, guns and atv's was A-ok.
Then I finally found a decent job.
Then I got married to a woman who has no clue that 2-4= -2.
We both spent money on who the fuck knows what.
Then we had a kid.
Then we bought a house with 2nd kid on the way.
As of last year I decided I was done being a dumbass with money, sold guns, tried to pay down CC debt.
Wife still thinks if you have $100 in your account, you can spend $400.
Our combined income actually is decent for our area with a family of 4, but not with the debt load we have and only 1 person who seems to give a shit about paying it off.

It is what it is and I'll either get the debt paid off or die of a heart attack from stress and working 6+ days a week.

Put a positive spin on it: You chose to take advantage of the great deal your credit union offerred you on a new car so you can make your commute reliably and have a much lower chance of tardiness reporting to work which keeps the food on the table.  But in the future, shop for 2-3 year old cars with low miles and let the original buyer take drove-off-the-lot depreciation.

I know of your situation, my best friend drove 180 miles round trip to work each day, until he got a promotion and moved to a much better state and is making lots more money.. He's very mechanically inclined and always presents himself as the "duck on the water" type person (Calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath the surface).

Of course rarely you'll get him to admit of his failures (even to a close friend) , and the story of him breaking 3 drill bits and a couple eZ outs fixing his car was hilarious. He said his kids learned a few new cuss words, and they were questioned by Mom why they weren't inside the garage helping Dad? "Dad's really angry" was the response.

Most of the people posting here violated the rule in the title.  "this thread is only for people who live paycheck to paycheck".

@bad2006z71
In your situation, I'd recommend the following:

Set aside a time with the wife after kids have gone to bed to have a very frank conversation about finances.

Tell her that you will be setting up a joint account for monthly bills, and you will be contributing half the amount to cover the bills/estimated grocery expense/child necessities(this one is going to be a crux to agree on) She is responsible for the other half.
Open a second account in your name only for the rest of your paycheck to go into. Encourage her to do the same. Whatever is left over after bills is to be spent however one wished

If you have credit cards with both your names on them, consider a balance transfer to a new CC(with cash back benefits), then cancel that old card. If she opens a new CC in her name, that's her business.

You and I have followed the same path, but I'm no longer married to her, and I now give up a portion of my paycheck each month for the one kid we had. And I only have myself to blame now for any new debt that is accrued.

Don't know if I agree on "most", but there are a few.

This would be a very depressing thread if it was only those truly destitute with no recommendations from those who are now well off, and pulled themselves out of debt to get where there are now, no?

Some members see this thread as an opportunity to brag about how well off they are. I am viewing it as an opportunity to try and offer advice and drag them  up out of the hole they have dug. But the first thing you must do when you found yourself in a hole is to stop digging. My rope is only so long.

My wife and I have had totally separate finances for the 16 years we've been married.  It's weird but it works for us and we haven't fought over money in a long time.

The wife have been there too.
It set us back financially, but I wouldn't trade my granddaughter for any amount of money.

You are absolutely right about putting a positive spin on it. I generally like the car - it's my first new car in about 20 years and definitely the first one with Sat radio, gps, etc. So I enjoy the luxuries and reliability - but it will be my last financed new car. I'm digging myself out of this hole (I got myself into) and will get to the point where I can buy a new-ER car cash again. I was at that point when I still worked for IBM.
Hahaha yup, my kids stay away when I'm working in the barn - some interesting words coming out of there in 3 different languages. They usually don't know what I'm yelling, but the intent is very clear!