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Posted: 1/5/2018 3:39:55 PM EDT
[#1]
Set up shop in a mountainous area, keep to myself and keep my mouth shut, stay in good physical shape and maintain my health.
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Posted: 1/5/2018 3:47:16 PM EDT
[#2]
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anybody else considered that the language we speak today isn't what they spoke 1000 years ago? even if you can read it, English in 1000ad isn't pronounced as it is today. ever heard of the great vowel shift? how many here speak latin or classic greek? clothes on your back... he didn't say your favorite weapon and a million rounds of ammo anybody here know what 50k in gold would weight? how you gonna carry and protect that? not picking on you guys below - you just have pertinent posts Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would get into mining some specific ores and chemicals 75% Potassium Nitrate 15% Charcoal 10% Sulfur Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would get into mining some specific ores and chemicals 75% Potassium Nitrate 15% Charcoal 10% Sulfur do you already know where to get potassium nitrate and how to process it without modern conveniences and tools? Quoted:
If you tell me this is good I will buy it today. he used to be active, I don't remember the username 
Quoted:
Paris. Probably become a doctor. Use cowpox to vaccinate against smallpox. Try to grow penicillin. Built a microscope and show them bacteria, then demonstrate the transmission of infectious disease in mice. Help establish basic public sanitation. ever considered just how hard it is to make a hypodermic needle? Quoted:
Fuck chicks...a lot. 1000, AD. I'd be all up in that cro-magnon pussy. I assume I'm transported back with what I have on...chick magnet. Boom. I bet 1000, AD dudes don't even lick buttholes. Like most of the earth would be my descendents going forward because of all the chicks I got with. $50,000...easy. Start a gambling center, let's call it Wall Street. My descendents will never work again. Also, eradicate the Jews. 
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Posted: 1/5/2018 3:57:03 PM EDT
[#3]
I don't want to get teleported anywhere on earth today with nothing but the clothes on my back and $50,000 if I can't speak the language. East St. Lewis and plenty of other places I do speak the language would be as bad or worse.
Anywhere in the 11th century would condem you to being robbed and murdered/enslaved or starving to death. Any human contact is going to go poorly for you. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:01:51 PM EDT
[#4]
Well... I do the same thing I do on every trip.
I take out my penis and do the helicopter thing. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:17:35 PM EDT
[#5]
In computer simulations of traveling to the past I always died of dysentery.
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:22:07 PM EDT
[#6]
Try to angle for scientific discovery that will do away with the simplistic dark ages.
There were multiple close break throughs from egyptian through to roman eras. But it is like there was a hurrdurr effect going on for centuries before the renaissance. Religious zealotry sure as shit didnt help. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:29:49 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Paris. Probably become a doctor. Use cowpox to vaccinate against smallpox. Try to grow penicillin. Built a microscope and show them bacteria, then demonstrate the transmission of infectious disease in mice. Help establish basic public sanitation. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:31:35 PM EDT
[#8]
Buy a mercenary army (probably normans), wrest sicily from the kalbids. Give the remaining muslim holdouts the choice of extermination or servitude, turn mosques into public bathrooms, Turn the island into the worlds biggest cattle and pork ranch/citrus grove/grainary. Used the proceeds from selling my commodities around the med and europe to shore up my political power and build europe's most powerful fleet as well as bribing byzantine chemists for the secret of "greek fire". Cement my overlordship in blood if necessary and enjoy the sunny warmth of Syracuse while i live out mydays in comfort...occasionally waging campaigns of islamic pirate pacification by obliterating the cities and coastal populations of the maghreb to allow the free unmolested flow of my commerce (and take control of the gold caravans comming across the sahara from ghana and horde that shit like its goin out of style).....
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:32:04 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Rape, pillage, and rape. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:33:17 PM EDT
[#10]
75% Potassium Nitrate - Salt peter, used as meat preservative in the middle ages
15% Charcoal - Erh it's just charred wood 10% Sulfur - Brimstone - literally pickup up off the ground in Sicily |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 4:34:05 PM EDT
[#11]
In my current condition, I wouldn't survive in that era. I would just tell Scotty to set the transporter to widest dispersion, and scatter my atoms out into space.
 
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Posted: 1/5/2018 6:15:16 PM EDT
[#12]
Going to be a new greeting party at the shoes for the European guys....
at the very least 
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Posted: 1/5/2018 6:25:35 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
75% Potassium Nitrate - Salt peter, used as meat preservative in the middle ages 15% Charcoal - Erh it's just charred wood 10% Sulfur - Brimstone - literally pickup up off the ground in Sicily Also, it's probably worth pointing at that things like patents and trademarks didn't exist in 1,000 A.D. If you had some kind of voodoo knowledge, the local (war)lord will just send out some knights (thugs) to bring you to the dungeon and make you spill the beans if you didn't agree to work for him on his terms. The people at the top of the heap didn't take too kindly to others working their way up the heap back in those days. |
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Posted: 1/5/2018 6:35:35 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would use science to make the native americans think I was a god. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 2:07:33 AM EDT
[#15]
I'd introduce the ponzi scheme to the nobles and then flee the continent.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 11:52:52 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
. anybody else considered that the language we speak today isn't what they spoke 1000 years ago? even if you can read it, English in 1000ad isn't pronounced as it is today. ever heard of the great vowel shift? how many here speak latin or classic greek? clothes on your back... he didn't say your favorite weapon and a million rounds of ammo anybody here know what 50k in gold would weight? how you gonna carry and protect that? not picking on you guys below - you just have pertinent posts what were those things called 1000 years ago? do you already know where to get potassium nitrate and how to process it without modern conveniences and tools? author is a member here he used to be active, I don't remember the username
you grind lenses? you work with silver, copper, and brass? know how to make flat glass? ever considered just how hard it is to make a hypodermic needle? https://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/smiley_freak.gif |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:07:02 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would seek out the court of Olof Sktkonung and offer him my knowledge of gunpowder, sanitation, metallurgy, as well as the locations of natural resources that were unknown at the time. The Swedish Empire would get a head start and conquer those filthy Danes. The language barrier wouldn't be too great either. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:10:52 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Assuminh I'm not retarded... I think $50k in good would weigh about 2.5-3 pounds. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
. anybody else considered that the language we speak today isn't what they spoke 1000 years ago? even if you can read it, English in 1000ad isn't pronounced as it is today. ever heard of the great vowel shift? how many here speak latin or classic greek? clothes on your back... he didn't say your favorite weapon and a million rounds of ammo anybody here know what 50k in gold would weight? how you gonna carry and protect that? not picking on you guys below - you just have pertinent posts what were those things called 1000 years ago? do you already know where to get potassium nitrate and how to process it without modern conveniences and tools? author is a member here he used to be active, I don't remember the username
you grind lenses? you work with silver, copper, and brass? know how to make flat glass? ever considered just how hard it is to make a hypodermic needle? https://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/smiley_freak.gif 
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:19:01 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They would promptly make you into a chef. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I would seek out the court of Olof Sktkonung and offer him my knowledge of gunpowder, sanitation, metallurgy, as well as the locations of natural resources that were unknown at the time. The Swedish Empire would get a head start and conquer those filthy Danes. The language barrier wouldn't be too great either. 
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:25:35 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Try to angle for scientific discovery that will do away with the simplistic dark ages. There were multiple close break throughs from egyptian through to roman eras. But it is like there was a hurrdurr effect going on for centuries before the renaissance. Religious zealotry sure as shit didnt help. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:29:18 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Find the lineage of Mohammad and... |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:30:51 PM EDT
[#22]
That isn't far enough, Go back to the creation of time, find that forbidden fruit tree and cut it down and burn it. Find Eve and dunk her head in the nearest body of water for thinking of ruining life. You had one job and you failed it.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:33:55 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Try to angle for scientific discovery that will do away with the simplistic dark ages. There were multiple close break throughs from egyptian through to roman eras. But it is like there was a hurrdurr effect going on for centuries before the renaissance. Religious zealotry sure as shit didnt help. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:35:13 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Find the lineage of Mohammad and... |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:38:46 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Find the lineage of Mohammad and... |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 12:47:42 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It turns out the Dark Ages weren't so dark after all. So much so, that some call that era the Late Antiquity now. I'd go back to Britain to find my ancestors and tell them about GD&T. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:01:27 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Going to be a new greeting party at the shoes for the European guys.... at the very least https://i.imgur.com/qmlR7vo.jpg |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:03:07 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I doubt there was much demand for C programmers back then, so I wouldn't do well. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:05:32 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It would go something along this line. He's a witch, burn him. Toasted  
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:07:29 PM EDT
[#30]
explain reefer madness to the masses.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:28:16 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Going to be a new greeting party at the shoes for the European guys.... at the very least https://i.imgur.com/qmlR7vo.jpg No Europeans = No Horses. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:30:59 PM EDT
[#32]
I'm going to Baghdad.
Hear me out. 1000AD is smack in the middle of the Golden Age of Islam, back when they were the most scientifically advanced culture on the planet. They wouldn't turn into backwards cousin-fuckers until the Mongol Invasion two centuries later. Cordova would have been a viable choice as well, but 1000AD was right at the end of it being a decent place to be. No, Baghdad is probably the one place in the world a mad engineer from the future could set up shop and not immediately be burned as a witch or a heretic. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:34:50 PM EDT
[#33]
Seen any Griz?
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:41:43 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It turns out the Dark Ages weren't so dark after all. So much so, that some call that era the Late Antiquity now. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Try to angle for scientific discovery that will do away with the simplistic dark ages. There were multiple close break throughs from egyptian through to roman eras. But it is like there was a hurrdurr effect going on for centuries before the renaissance. Religious zealotry sure as shit didnt help. If I could choose anywhere on Earth to be transported in AD 1000 it would be the Eastern Roman Empire. At that time it was still very powerful and retained the knowledge of the Romans. Use my $50,000 to live and hire someone to teach me Greek. I have heard it said that the Roman possessed the technology to build an internal combustion engine, it's just that no one ever thought of it. While that may be a stretch, they certainly had the technology to build external combustion engines (steam) engines, especially with a bit of guidance from a 21 century mind. Steam power transformed America in a matter of a few years. Imagine if you introduced it to a superpower 900 years earlier. Locomotives, traction engines, hell, you could build steam powered main battle tanks and even automobiles. Use steam to power machinery to mass produce textiles, drill barrels for firearms, whatever your heart desired. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:46:21 PM EDT
[#35]
You wouldn't be able to overcome the language barrier. Remember nobody spoke English back then.
You ever read the Canterbury Tales? They would kill you... |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:49:23 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You wouldn't be able to overcome the language barrier. Remember nobody spoke English back then. You ever read the Canterbury Tales? They would kill you...  Turisas - The March of the Varangian Guard (NEW 2011) |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:55:05 PM EDT
[#37]
Timeline was a great book and a shitty movie.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 1:57:27 PM EDT
[#38]
Where would I plug my CPAP into?
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Posted: 1/6/2018 2:10:29 PM EDT
[#39]
ride a dinosaur
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Posted: 1/6/2018 2:34:12 PM EDT
[#40]
I would go back in time to invent blister packaging, child proof pill bottles, and circus peanuts.
Operation Troll 1000AD would be a smashing success. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 2:40:20 PM EDT
[#41]
Probably set up the idea of "central banks"
and control 50 trillion dollars eventually. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:21:45 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Probably set up the idea of "central banks" and control 50 trillion dollars eventually. Although I don't think I know enough for it to be a revolutionary idea or widely accepted back then. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:35:58 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
75% Potassium Nitrate - Salt peter, used as meat preservative in the middle ages 15% Charcoal - Erh it's just charred wood 10% Sulfur - Brimstone - literally pickup up off the ground in Sicily |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:38:21 PM EDT
[#44]
I would take steps to solve the Muslim problem while there was still time
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:38:50 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ummm, while Dark Ages may be an overly dramatic term for the period, much of the knowledge and advancements of the Greeks and Romans was lost during the period, at least in the West. For example: the Romans built a vast network of roads, some of which are still usable today. How long was it before comparable roads were built again in Europe? The 20th century? If I could choose anywhere on Earth to be transported in AD 1000 it would be the Eastern Roman Empire. At that time it was still very powerful and retained the knowledge of the Romans. Use my $50,000 to live and hire someone to teach me Greek. I have heard it said that the Roman possessed the technology to build an internal combustion engine, it's just that no one ever thought of it. While that may be a stretch, they certainly had the technology to build external combustion engines (steam) engines, especially with a bit of guidance from a 21 century mind. Steam power transformed America in a matter of a few years. Imagine if you introduced it to a superpower 900 years earlier. Locomotives, traction engines, hell, you could build steam powered main battle tanks and even automobiles. Use steam to power machinery to mass produce textiles, drill barrels for firearms, whatever your heart desired. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:39:23 PM EDT
[#46]
Baghdad.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:39:36 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Probably set up the idea of "central banks" and control 50 trillion dollars eventually. |
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:44:49 PM EDT
[#48]
Monster tuna fishing. Cuba. Monster ALL the fishing. Monster lobsters. Salmon. Mono fishing line
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:46:52 PM EDT
[#49]
Die when my minor shin abrasion becomes septic.
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Posted: 1/6/2018 4:47:18 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm going to Baghdad. Hear me out. 1000AD is smack in the middle of the Golden Age of Islam, back when they were the most scientifically advanced culture on the planet. They wouldn't turn into backwards cousin-fuckers until the Mongol Invasion two centuries later. Cordova would have been a viable choice as well, but 1000AD was right at the end of it being a decent place to be. No, Baghdad is probably the one place in the world a mad engineer from the future could set up shop and not immediately be burned as a witch or a heretic. Islam was never an advanced culture - they were a conquering culture and now take credit for the accomplishments of the academically advanced cultures they took over. Those cultures coasted on a little while, but it all fell apart. One can also argue that it was islamic aggression, raids, slave-taking, and invasion of europe that caused the cultural decline of the "dark ages". The crusades had several causes, but one of the main ones was as a long-delayed response to centuries of islamic aggression. I'd much rather live under Genghis Khan than in an 11th century Caliphate. |
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