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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:20:28 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nope. I don't accept that. Fuck that slack jawed commie motherfucker for designing it that way. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah. To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it?    
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:23:16 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes. can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Batteries belong under the hood. Period. ETA And I shouldn't have to remove the intake manifold to get to the rear spark plugs on a fucking SUV. Pull your head out of your ass. idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes. can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back. I'll allow a trunk as an acceptable substitute location. Safety is a stretch. I'm guessing there was insufficient room left under the hood after the German engineers got done adding an engine and their ego. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:25:38 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah. To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it? Who bothers to check the battery location before buying a vehicle? In 24 years of driving I'd never even considered the possibility that a battery wouldn't be located under the hood until a couple years ago when I had to replace the battery in my Grand Cherokee. It was fun. 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:27:44 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 10/10 And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:29:53 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll cost save that motherfucker. I won't use any lube when I stick this dead battery up his/her ass. 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:32:52 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. 10/10 Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:41:55 AM EDT
[#7]
OP has anger problems.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:46:45 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You bought an Acadia?  Wait till OP changes headlights!?!? ?? LMAO |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:48:23 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 10/10 Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. 10/10 Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:49:43 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Wait till OP changes headlights!?!? LMAO Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: You bought an Acadia? Wait till OP changes headlights!?!? LMAO |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:50:23 AM EDT
[#11]
Well it’s a GM. They don’t actually expect it to last long enough for you to have to change the battery or the oil, they just figured you’d buy a new one because GM anything is shit.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:50:41 AM EDT
[#12]
I think the OP will have to get that GM Engineer to El Paso today to have any chance of justice being delivered.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:54:18 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well it’s GM so… GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 11:55:44 AM EDT
[#14]
2012 Durango. Battery under front passenger seat. Easy to change. My battery also gave me warning signs of when it was dying, didn't just die one day. Moved the power seat forward as far as it went and viola. Factory battery lasted 7 years.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:00:33 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Well it’s GM so… GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS. But they are one of the big 3; see also -serpentine belts around engine mounts -one-eyed day time running light relay failure -intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:07:54 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: But they are one of the big 3; see also -serpentine belts around engine mounts -one-eyed day time running light relay failure -intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Well it's GM so GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS. But they are one of the big 3; see also -serpentine belts around engine mounts -one-eyed day time running light relay failure -intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix Again: FUCK GM. Both of these are paid for, but I'm about to switch to all Toyota because of this faggotry. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:08:51 PM EDT
[#17]
like a rock...
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:10:30 PM EDT
[#18]
Sorry OP. It truly was an oversight on the engineer's part. He never expected an average man to drive it, so they never really thought the seat would be all the way back.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:11:17 PM EDT
[#19]
This is the GD I love and expect.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:11:40 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sorry OP. It truly was an oversight on the engineer's part. He never expected an average man to drive it, so they never really thought the seat would be all the way back. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:17:52 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I wonder if it was the same person that did this late in their career that also designed the '79 V8 Chevy Monza and it's plug change fun (and plugs didn't last 100k mile back then)? Cut a hole in the frame in the passenger front wheel well, if I remember right... |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:23:30 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Good rant. This might have helped. http://www.quickcable.com/images/display_images/d_tools_battery_battery-carriers_3.png |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:23:49 PM EDT
[#23]
10/10
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:25:20 PM EDT
[#24]
9/10 rant but that is but one of many schlongings you shall receive on your POS SUV journey.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:27:19 PM EDT
[#25]
Agreed. My dad bought one of those POS vehicles and had a battery die. The people at AutoZone typically will replace batteries for you, but refused to switch that one for him. As a Toyota purist, you can imagine my disgust upon trying to replace the battery. It horrifies me that American consumers have been brainwashed so badly that they willingly pay for such crap.
If media campaigns can brainwash people enough to buy this crap, imagine what it can do to politics. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:27:22 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They need plugs every 100k or so? And most 1st owners aren't even keeping a new one past half that so it's a non issue. Let the second or third hand owner worry about it. Toyota recommends the 1GR-FE have plugs replaced every 30k. I can do it in less than an hour on my 4Runner, and 30 minutes of that is removing a few brackets to get to the driver side #3 cylinder. I can change the oil in no joke, less than 5 minutes. The oil filter location is one of the best things about the truck. Yep, that is the filter.  edit: All of that being said, I have to remove the skid plate to change the oil on my GX460
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:29:27 PM EDT
[#27]
10/10 lol
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:31:53 PM EDT
[#28]
News flash. Automotive product engineers design vehicles to be put together, not taken apart. And they usually do it in teams where one hand doesn't know what the other is doing.
-From 43 years in the auto assembly business. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 12:33:42 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: edit: All of that being said, I have to remove the skid plate to change the oil on my GX460 I just took mine off and left it off. I've been driving it like that for about 5 years now and occasionally take it off road. They're overrated. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:30:46 PM EDT
[#30]
It's stupid shit like this that has turned a lifelong Chevy guy into a Toyota for life guy. The 4Runner is the easiest damn modern vehicle to service ever. Shit's all in the right place and thought out by actual smart people.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:33:37 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine.  Everyone know the Jeep is an inline engine. That's why the hood is so long. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:35:22 PM EDT
[#32]
GM and their battery placement.
I have to remove the right front quarter panel in order to replace the battery on my Solstice...  |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:37:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: OP is one of my very favorite posters here. Dude never misses a chance to tell the shit like it is.  That's because he's Wade Fucking Garrett. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:37:33 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 10/10 And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. Back when spark plugs needed to be changed every 12,000 miles (due to leaded gasoline), you would be making a good point. Considering that spark plugs often now have change intervals of 100K miles, the added complexity isn't such a big deal. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:39:31 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines. The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles. Suck it up. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 1:50:49 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines. The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles. Suck it up. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines. The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles. Suck it up. The thing that amazes me is that I cannot find 16 spark plugs at a single auto parts store in Tucson. You have to go to multiple stores or order them even though every HEMI takes 16. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:01:32 PM EDT
[#37]
As the sign in my shop says "Just proof that an engineer will crawl over a mountain of prostitutes just to fuck a mechanic!" Good rant though OP!!
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:03:17 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:07:17 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia. Zero fucking points for you. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:10:27 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Can you read? I did jump the car using the positive stud and grounding point under the hood so I could move the power seat to access the battery. It's a motherfucking crossover SUV. Basically a god damn minivan. I understand sticking batteries in weird places in performance cars, but it's a motherfucking minivan. A common vehicle. Fuck your apathy and fuck that shit eating engineer. To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went. His hands didn't look all that small on the video. To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though. Mike |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:14:29 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: GM and their battery placement. I have to remove the right front quarter panel in order to replace the battery on my Solstice... https://a4.pbase.com/g9/72/325172/2/162617417.CCCqTrJn.jpg Super sweet idea they had when they put the battery in the same location on the C5 Vette then went full retard and placed the ECU under it. When cheap fucks replace the sealed battery with cheapo battery that has caps they leak acid all over the ECU and kill them ?? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:16:02 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went. His hands didn't look all that small on the video. To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though. Mike Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Can you read? I did jump the car using the positive stud and grounding point under the hood so I could move the power seat to access the battery. It's a motherfucking crossover SUV. Basically a god damn minivan. I understand sticking batteries in weird places in performance cars, but it's a motherfucking minivan. A common vehicle. Fuck your apathy and fuck that shit eating engineer. To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went. His hands didn't look all that small on the video. To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though. Mike But fuck me for being the retard. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:29:35 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:. What did you do in the AF? Aerospace engineers are assholes too. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:31:38 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What did you do in the AF? Aerospace engineers are assholes too. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted:. What did you do in the AF? Aerospace engineers are assholes too. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:39:36 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm still in. CATM and SF. Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down! |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 2:45:39 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down! Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I'm still in. CATM and SF. Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down! |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 3:18:18 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No. No I haven't. And I fail to see how that even remotely compares to a fucking common soccer mom SUV. If I could buy a M60 A1 tank for 36k and drive it to softball games, I could see your post having some kind of fucking relevance. I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia. Zero fucking points for you. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia. Zero fucking points for you. BOOM. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 3:20:39 PM EDT
[#48]
10/10 would let op rant on any topic any size any where.
( like the any-ocean any tonnage license) |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 4:33:14 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: 10/10 And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. HEMI FTW! |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 4:36:05 PM EDT
[#50]
That’s funny. My 2001 Pontiac Bonie’s battery was under the rear seat. Couldn’t find the damn thing for the life of me.
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