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Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:20:28 AM EDT
[#1]
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Quoted:
Nope. I don't accept that. Fuck that slack jawed commie motherfucker for designing it that way.
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To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah.
Nope. I don't accept that. Fuck that slack jawed commie motherfucker for designing it that way.

To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it?

Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:23:16 AM EDT
[#2]
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Quoted:



idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes.
can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back.
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Batteries belong under the hood.  Period.

ETA And I shouldn't have to remove the intake manifold to get to the rear spark plugs on a fucking SUV.  Pull your head out of your ass.



idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes.
can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back.


I'll allow a trunk as an acceptable substitute location.  Safety is a stretch.  I'm guessing there was insufficient room left under the hood after the German engineers got done adding an engine and their ego.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:25:38 AM EDT
[#3]
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Quoted:

To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it?

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To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah.
Nope. I don't accept that. Fuck that slack jawed commie motherfucker for designing it that way.

To be fair, what's that say about the person who buys it?



Who bothers to check the battery location before buying a vehicle?  In 24 years of driving I'd never even considered the possibility that a battery wouldn't be located under the hood until a couple years ago when I had to replace the battery in my Grand Cherokee.  It was fun.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:27:44 AM EDT
[#4]
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10/10

And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart.


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One of the many problems that EVs eliminate...
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:29:53 AM EDT
[#5]
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I'll cost save that motherfucker. I won't use any lube when I stick this dead battery up his/her ass.
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Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:32:52 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years.

If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig.

Fuck.
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10/10

Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right?
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:41:55 AM EDT
[#7]
OP has anger problems.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:46:45 AM EDT
[#8]
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You bought an Acadia?

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Wait till OP changes headlights!?!?
?? LMAO
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:48:23 AM EDT
[#9]
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10/10

Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right?
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Quoted:
The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years.

If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig.

Fuck.


10/10

Let me guess, they still use those stupid fucking side post batteries ...right?
No. There's no room for side posts in the tiny little hole they crammed that fucker in. There's also no room for your hands to get the god-forsaken thing out of there. You know what there's room for? A motherfucking handle on top of the battery to get the fucking thing out. The new battery I just put in came with fancy fold down handles which made it much easier. Of course, it cost me 170 fucking dollars.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:49:43 AM EDT
[#10]
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Wait till OP changes headlights!?!?
LMAO
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You bought an Acadia?







Wait till OP changes headlights!?!?
LMAO
Already fucking done it. Why in the cousin fucking hell should I have to completely deconstruct the fender well to change a fucking headlight? Because FUCK YOU says GM.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:50:23 AM EDT
[#11]
Well it’s a GM. They don’t actually expect it to last long enough for you to have to change the battery or the oil, they just figured you’d buy a new one because GM anything is shit.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:50:41 AM EDT
[#12]
I think the OP will have to get that GM Engineer to El Paso today to have any chance of justice being delivered.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:54:18 AM EDT
[#13]
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Well it’s GM so…
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GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 11:55:44 AM EDT
[#14]
2012 Durango. Battery under front passenger seat. Easy to change. My battery also gave me warning signs of when it was dying, didn't just die one day. Moved the power seat forward as far as it went and viola. Factory battery lasted 7 years.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:00:33 PM EDT
[#15]
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GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS.
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Well it’s GM so…


GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS.


But they are one of the big 3;

see also
-serpentine belts around engine mounts
-one-eyed day time running light relay failure
-intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:07:54 PM EDT
[#16]
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But they are one of the big 3;

see also
-serpentine belts around engine mounts
-one-eyed day time running light relay failure
-intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix
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Well it's GM so


GM has no monopoly on this kind of BS.


But they are one of the big 3;

see also
-serpentine belts around engine mounts
-one-eyed day time running light relay failure
-intake plenum failure coolant to oil mix
Let's not forget the active fuel management bullshit on the Silverado trucks. In order to change the fucked up lifters from that abomination you have to take the heads off. I got to do that at just over 72000 miles. Just after the extended warranty expired. $1800 bucks on a (at the time) 6 year old truck with only 72000 miles on it.

Again: FUCK GM. Both of these are paid for, but I'm about to switch to all Toyota because of this faggotry.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:08:51 PM EDT
[#17]
like a rock...  


Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:10:30 PM EDT
[#18]
Sorry OP. It truly was an oversight on the engineer's part. He never expected an average man to drive it, so they never really thought the seat would be all the way back.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:11:17 PM EDT
[#19]
This is the GD I love and expect.

Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:11:40 PM EDT
[#20]
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Sorry OP. It truly was an oversight on the engineer's part. He never expected an average man to drive it, so they never really thought the seat would be all the way back.
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It's my wife's car.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:17:52 PM EDT
[#21]
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I wonder if it was the same person that did this late in their career that also designed the '79 V8 Chevy Monza and it's plug change fun (and plugs didn't last 100k mile back then)?
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Cut a hole in the frame in the passenger front wheel well, if I remember right...
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:23:30 PM EDT
[#22]
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That thar one o dem GM specialality toolz we'z folks kep harin a boot? One em gene-e-wine GM Masta tech thangs.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:23:49 PM EDT
[#23]
10/10
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:25:20 PM EDT
[#24]
9/10 rant but that is but one of many schlongings you shall receive on your POS SUV journey.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:27:19 PM EDT
[#25]
Agreed. My dad bought one of those POS vehicles and had a battery die.  The people at AutoZone typically will replace batteries for you, but refused to switch that one for him.  As a Toyota purist, you can imagine my disgust upon trying to replace the battery.  It horrifies me that American consumers have been brainwashed so badly that they willingly pay for such crap.

If media campaigns can brainwash people enough to buy this crap, imagine what it can do to politics.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:27:22 PM EDT
[#26]
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They need plugs every 100k or so? And most 1st owners aren't even keeping a new one past half that so it's a non issue. Let the second or third hand owner worry about it.
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Toyota recommends the 1GR-FE have plugs replaced every 30k.

I can do it in less than an hour on my 4Runner, and 30 minutes of that is removing a few brackets to get to the driver side #3 cylinder.

I can change the oil in no joke, less than 5 minutes. The oil filter location is one of the best things about the truck.

Yep, that is the filter.



edit: All of that being said, I have to remove the skid plate to change the oil on my GX460
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:29:27 PM EDT
[#27]
10/10 lol
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:31:53 PM EDT
[#28]
News flash.  Automotive product engineers design vehicles to be put together, not taken apart.  And they usually do it in teams where one hand doesn't know what the other is doing.  

-From 43 years in the auto assembly business.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 12:33:42 PM EDT
[#29]
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edit: All of that being said, I have to remove the skid plate to change the oil on my GX460
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I just took mine off and left it off.  I've been driving it like that for about 5 years now and occasionally take it off road.  They're overrated.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:30:46 PM EDT
[#30]
It's stupid shit like this that has turned a lifelong Chevy guy into a Toyota for life guy. The 4Runner is the easiest damn modern vehicle to service ever. Shit's all in the right place and thought out by actual smart people.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:33:37 PM EDT
[#31]
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Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine.  
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Everyone know the Jeep is an inline engine.  That's why the hood is so long.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:35:22 PM EDT
[#32]
GM and their battery placement.
I have to remove the right front quarter panel in order to replace the battery on my Solstice...


Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:37:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
OP is one of my very favorite posters here. Dude never misses a chance to tell the shit like it is.  
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That's because he's Wade Fucking Garrett.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:37:33 PM EDT
[#34]
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10/10

And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart.


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Back when spark plugs needed to be changed every 12,000 miles (due to leaded gasoline), you would be making a good point.

Considering that spark plugs often now have change intervals of 100K miles, the added complexity isn't such a big deal.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:39:31 PM EDT
[#35]
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My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs.

SIXTEEN.
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Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines.

The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles.  Suck it up.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 1:50:49 PM EDT
[#36]
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Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines.

The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles.  Suck it up.
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Quoted:

My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs.

SIXTEEN.

Dual plugs per cylinder for performance or reliability has been a thing FOREVER, particularly in aircraft engines.

The good news is that your Jeep probably won't need the plugs changed for 100K miles.  Suck it up.



The thing that amazes me is that I cannot find 16 spark plugs at a single auto parts store in Tucson. You have to go to multiple stores or order them even though every HEMI takes 16.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:01:32 PM EDT
[#37]
As the sign in my shop says "Just proof that an engineer will crawl over a mountain of prostitutes just to fuck a mechanic!"  Good rant though OP!!
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:03:17 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years.

If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig.

Fuck.
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Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:07:17 PM EDT
[#39]
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Quoted:


Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see
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Quoted:
The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years.

If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig.

Fuck.


Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see
No. No I haven't. And I fail to see how that even remotely compares to a fucking common soccer mom SUV. If I could buy a M60 A1 tank for 36k and drive it to softball games, I could see your post having some kind of fucking relevance.

I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia.

Zero fucking points for you.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:10:27 PM EDT
[#40]
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Can you read? I did jump the car using the positive stud and grounding point under the hood so I could move the power seat to access the battery. It's a motherfucking crossover SUV. Basically a god damn minivan. I understand sticking batteries in weird places in performance cars, but it's a motherfucking minivan. A common vehicle. Fuck your apathy and fuck that shit eating engineer.
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To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went.  His hands didn't look all that small on the video.  To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though.

Mike
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:14:29 PM EDT
[#41]
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Quoted:
GM and their battery placement.
I have to remove the right front quarter panel in order to replace the battery on my Solstice...

https://a4.pbase.com/g9/72/325172/2/162617417.CCCqTrJn.jpg
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Super sweet idea they had when they put the battery in the same location on the C5 Vette then went full retard and placed the ECU under it. When cheap fucks replace the sealed battery with cheapo battery that has caps they leak acid all over the ECU and kill them ??
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:16:02 PM EDT
[#42]
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Quoted:

To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went.  His hands didn't look all that small on the video.  To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though.

Mike
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Quoted:
Can you read? I did jump the car using the positive stud and grounding point under the hood so I could move the power seat to access the battery. It's a motherfucking crossover SUV. Basically a god damn minivan. I understand sticking batteries in weird places in performance cars, but it's a motherfucking minivan. A common vehicle. Fuck your apathy and fuck that shit eating engineer.

To be fair, OP, I just watched a 60+ year old guy take about 5 minutes for a complete swap, explaining the steps as he went.  His hands didn't look all that small on the video.  To be fair, he had the correct tools handy and knew what he was doing, though.

Mike
Oh. Like, not in a fucking Walmart parking lot with the tools you had in your truck? I think it's awesome he had no issues. If I'm the retard, then fuck me. I did it. It wasn't impossible. It was made more difficult by the fucktarded idea to put the battery behind the power seat, using a torx bit for an internal compartment, and not putting some kind of fucking handle on the battery.

But fuck me for being the retard.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:29:35 PM EDT
[#43]
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What did you do in the AF?



Aerospace engineers are assholes too.




Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:31:38 PM EDT
[#44]
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What did you do in the AF?



Aerospace engineers are assholes too.




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Quoted:.



What did you do in the AF?



Aerospace engineers are assholes too.




I'm still in. CATM and SF.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:39:36 PM EDT
[#45]
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I'm still in. CATM and SF.
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Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down!
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 2:45:39 PM EDT
[#46]
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Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down!
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Quoted:
I'm still in. CATM and SF.



Sounds like you would make a good Crew Chief. You have the ranting about engineers down!
I'm way too far in to cross train now.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 3:18:18 PM EDT
[#47]
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No. No I haven't. And I fail to see how that even remotely compares to a fucking common soccer mom SUV. If I could buy a M60 A1 tank for 36k and drive it to softball games, I could see your post having some kind of fucking relevance.

I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia.

Zero fucking points for you.
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Quoted:
Quoted:
The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years.

If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig.

Fuck.


Never changed batteries in an M-60 A1 tank I see
No. No I haven't. And I fail to see how that even remotely compares to a fucking common soccer mom SUV. If I could buy a M60 A1 tank for 36k and drive it to softball games, I could see your post having some kind of fucking relevance.

I've also never swapped out an AV8 Harrier engine. I'm told that's quite the bitch as well. And it also has fuck all to do with a battery in a 2016 GMC Acadia.

Zero fucking points for you.

BOOM.
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 3:20:39 PM EDT
[#48]
10/10 would let op rant on any topic any size any where.
( like the any-ocean any tonnage license)
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 4:33:14 PM EDT
[#49]
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Quoted:

My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs.

SIXTEEN.
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Quoted:
10/10

And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart.



My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs.

SIXTEEN.


HEMI FTW!
Link Posted: 6/25/2021 4:36:05 PM EDT
[#50]
That’s funny. My 2001 Pontiac Bonie’s battery was under the rear seat. Couldn’t find the damn thing for the life of me.
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