My late wife Linda, aka martini butt (Page 2 of 4)
Oh man this sure puts things into perspective. Me and my wife have kinda been arguing about money over the last few days she is in between jobs and with 4 kids in the house things are beyond tight. We are both very careful in the way we talk to one another as to not say things that if tomorrow never came we wouldnt spend the rest of are life regreting. But just reading this goes to show that life can be over in a minute. I am so so so so very sorry for your loss it took the air right out of my lungs and realy made me think what you are going through and I dont think I would have the strength or the courage. At the end of the day my wife IS my best friend and without her I cant see anything at all. I dont mean this to be further deppressing but it realy opened my eyes. I WILL pray for you and your son and I so hope that God blesses you and eases the pain both of you are feeling.
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Thank you everyone. Brad and I are doing our best to help each other through all of this, and it's difficult to describe how I don't think I'm especially strong or anything but just have to go on with life and get things done. So much has changed, but Brad still has to get on the bus at the same time, and I have lots of things I have to do each day. Some of it will slow down after all the legal stuff is done, but I still feel like an empty shell. Thank you all for your support.  Edit - Typo |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
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my deepest condolances on your loss... It sounds like you have some wonderful memories, The pictures you posted she seemed like a great woman... and very pretty.. It will take time, and you will go threw different emotions.. that is normal. I lost my son when he was an infant.. Totally different situtions, but the same hurt. Your family is there for you, and you need to keep strong for your son. My Heart is there for you.. again, I am very sorry.. The good Lord is there holding your hand helping you.. |
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You have suffered a loss which is beyond words, and so I hope that my words will not sound cheap or offensive. Your loved one is gone on now, to another plane of existence. Someday, you will be reunited with her there, as in time we will all cross over. For the remainder of your time here, know that your loved one wanted you to be happy, and let that thought help you through your grief. God Bless. |
"God has a HARD ON for the Marines, because they keep Heaven CHOCK FULL of FRESH SOULS!" - R. Lee Ermey, FULL METAL JACKET.
My deepest condolences, GoGop...
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"...My approach is to focus on firearms over women, because its hard to kill someone with a woman, unless you're talking about a slow, painful emotional death by nagging that eats away at your very soul from the inside out." -El Camino
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Linda's mom made a comment a few days ago that she's got no recent pictures of Linda, which I'd never given any thought to. Since we've been together most of our pics have been digital, and exist only on the hard drive and a couple disks. (..and Photobucket, but she has no internet). Brad had put together a several pictures on a CD-RW to run as a slide show at the funeral home, which is what prompted the comment. I gave her the disk, but her old DVD player wouldn't play JPGs.  She bought a new one that does, so Brad and I went over to hook it up. Once there, we found that it couldn't be hooked directly to her TV, so we had to wait and get one of those RF boxes that goes in between. In the meantime, I also put together another disk with more pics, plus two VHS tapes with video I've taken of Linda and Brad. Brad and I had it hooked up and were sitting there waiting to show her when she got home from work. You should have seen how happy she was when I started the new disk going with pics she'd never seen.  Now she can watch her baby whenever she wants to. She also asked for a few clothing items that Linda had since before we got together, so I took those over as well. I hope these things all help ease her pain. Linda was an only child, and her dad has had several strokes and still thinks Linda is coming over any day now. Grandma is having to face this alone when she's not with Brad and me. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
So sorry GoGop. FWIW, we're all thinking of you and your family & the collective ARFCOM wheels are turning. 
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"Those of us in Emergency Services develop a very twisted sense of humor that others don't understand." - Striker
Proud Executive Officer - "Ranstad's Militia" - The Fantastic Bastards!
Proud Executive Officer - "Ranstad's Militia" - The Fantastic Bastards!
Double Edged And Fragmented. SP1grrl rocks!
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I spoke to Linda on occasion here and on Loki's board when I was still active over there. I even have something funny she said as my sigline over there. I liked her. She was good people.
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All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. ~Edmund Burke
I hear hell is nice, this time of year.~ Subnet
I hear hell is nice, this time of year.~ Subnet
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so sorry for your loss..... prayers from my family to yours. Pilk |
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it."
Thomas Paine, sept, 11, 1777
Proud Member of "Ranstad's Militia" - The Fantastic Bastards!
Thomas Paine, sept, 11, 1777
Proud Member of "Ranstad's Militia" - The Fantastic Bastards!
I agree, but that also brings the tears knowing that those days are over. I feel like I'm getting more withdrawn every day. It's hard to even carry on a conversation, because I just go blank. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
I'm almost at a loss for encouraging words -I've had some tough times, but I just can't imagine what you're going through. Talk to God - He will listen and help, that I know for certain. But I can tell you that me, and all of ARFCOM are here for you. |
Yeah, it's gonna hurt like that until you pass out. Shouldn't be much longer though.
This, too, shall pass, sweetie. Don't despair. In time you will be able to look back at your days with her and smile more than you cry. You just need some sort of vehicle to help carry you over the bumps in the road between now and the future. Try to find something that occupies your time; it's okay to think, but dwelling can be dangerous. It's okay to cry, but that shouldn't be all you're doing. Hopefully you've got something to help keep your mind busy; if not, I urge you to do so. And always know that we're here for support when you need it. |
I don't get mad. I get stabby.
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Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:Originally Posted By GoGop:I agree, but that also brings the tears knowing that those days are over. I feel like I'm getting more withdrawn every day. It's hard to even carry on a conversation, because I just go blank. This, too, shall pass, sweetie. Don't despair. In time you will be able to look back at your days with her and smile more than you cry. You just need some sort of vehicle to help carry you over the bumps in the road between now and the future. Try to find something that occupies your time; it's okay to think, but dwelling can be dangerous. It's okay to cry, but that shouldn't be all you're doing. Hopefully you've got something to help keep your mind busy; if not, I urge you to do so. And always know that we're here for support when you need it.Thank you everyone.
Here's what keeps me going right now: Attached File (He collects wheel covers, and a friend mailed him one off a Studebaker). If it weren't for him I doubt I'd get out of bed other than for food and hygiene, even though I still have things I have to handle every day. 
Edit - Trying to add pics back in, since Photobucket did their thing. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
I can't say it any better. I'm sure you will get through it, but there will be very hard times. If you don't mind, I'll say "May God Bless You and Your Son". I am in tears after seeing those pictures. |
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I am sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about my wife. She is my soul mate, I miss her when she walks in the next room. I am sorry for your loss.
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"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson
Different is DEAD !
Different is DEAD !
I still feel like any second she'll walk around the corner start watching Rachael Ray, doing her Bible study, going out to feed her birds etc. I guess it'll take quite some time for that to go away. Wednesday of next week (4-16-08) would have been 14th anniversary.
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martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
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At Six Flags;
Attached File Attached File Attached File Attached File The Martini Butt itself; Attached File Edit - Trying to add pics back in, since Photobucket did their thing. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
AR Variants Mod and Juris Doctor (in training)!
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Bourbon69 and his wife take a picture and somehow cut it out of wood and then frame it.
Here's the pic I sent them; Attached File Here's the result; Attached File Here it is on the wall; Attached File Very nice tribute. Edit - Trying to add pics back in, since Photobucket did their thing. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
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Thank you both. grooVe, Many fine people on here already helped me, both financially while I was waiting for the insurance money and through their thoughts and prayers. I still get IMs checking to see if I'm OK, and the support like you just offered helps. Now it's just a matter of learning to live with the loss. I did better for a bit, but I honestly don't even feel like getting out of bed anymore. Losing her took a lot of the life out of me. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
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We got some good news on my son today. Since Linda's first cousin also had an Aortic Dissection (but they were able to save him), the docs wanted Brad checked due to it being genetic. Today they checked Brad's heart, and the doc everything looks fine. He doesn't have to get checked again for two years, so it seems they're pretty sure he's clear of this connective tissue disorder. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
"now I just need tits like that and 2 guns ;-)" Vanessavy 7/13/08
"now I just need tits like that and 2 guns ;-)" Vanessavy 7/13/08
The cemetery where Linda is doesn't allow the headstone to be placed for four months, so the ground has time to settle. Brad and I ordered it after one month, and when we went to look at it (at the shop) it was the wrong type of stone and one part was carved wrong. The guy had to order another stone and start over. 
We got a letter in the mail Wednesday saying that the stone was in place, so today (Thursday) Brad and I went to see it. It's difficult going there, but I'm glad that the grave is finally marked. Attached File Attached File The picture we used; Attached File Edit - Trying to add pics back in, since Photobucket did their thing. |
martini butt 1/14/64 - 3/2/08
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um1HG9Rb6Dg[/url]
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um1HG9Rb6Dg[/url]