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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl
I told her I didn't know he could!!! |
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Quoted: WTF Do you really consider that "laugh out loud" funny? Whatever. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Never judge a book by its cover. Are you a grower or a shower? — NO CONTEXT HUMANS \uD83D\uDC64 (@HumansNoContext) July 28, 2023 WTF Do you really consider that "laugh out loud" funny? Whatever. Comments made me laugh out loud the other day |
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Failed To Load Title |
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Ron White Near Miss Plane Crash |
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There was a thread in GD where OP said he stopped to help a stranded motorist, a male, on the side of the road….and after help was rendered, the formerly stuck driver offered to give him a blow job in gratitude for the assistance…the OP sounded befuddled and asked if anyone else in GD ever experienced something like this.
This was posted in the thread…. Attached File |
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Pro tip, don't dress like a giant tennis ball.
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Okay I'll try. This is an honest to God true story.
I was a boss on a line that made a major component for a major automotive manufacturer. We sent them bad parts so another guy and I go to their plant and sort their parts. He covered days and I covered nights and since there was only about 30 minutes of overlap we just got one hotel room with two beds. Every day before work I pack my shit in my suitcase. Well it was late in the week and I got the tag about an hour into my shift that said from here on all parts are verified good and we are done. Sweet, we get to drive back to our state and home. I make it back to the hotel room and it's early evening. Other dude is sitting on the bed reading when I give him the news. He gets up and starts packing but since I packed every day I had to wait on him so I grab the remote and turn on the TV. On the TV was a porno... I was young and naive, I literally thought it was an accident that there was two chicks going at it on our TV. I yell out damn check this out! He says turn that nasty shit off so I shrug my shoulders and turn it off and we go check out. Here I was about a decade later and I remembered that happened. I realized he rented that and was jerking off while I was at work and to top it off the TV was at the foot of my bed! |
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I quit my job in July of last year to start my own contracting business….
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Geraldine Loves Star Wars |
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"Do you shower after sex?"
"Yes, always." "Ever thought about getting laid more often?" |
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Well I learned that hitting an armadillo with the gator doesn't hurt either one. Gator didn't even lurch much and the armadillo ran away really fast
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Is this the 5 o’clock prostate orgasm thread?
Edit to add: yup, it’s another Monday….Christ sake. |
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View Quote That was funny. |
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View Quote When it started, I was like "Oh...nice. Guitars are on point. Lovely". And then he started channeling his inner 13 year old Kurt. Oof. And I do mean...oof. |
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It's all fun and games until you figure out you ate two pounds of Curry Chicken.
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Whats the differwnce in a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I never had a garbanzo bean on my face |
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i wetfarted today and my wife said: 'that's gonna itch when it dries'.
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Quoted: Cheers to that. Charlie Daniels came onstage at a Skynrd concert I was at once. He had a huge hat on then too. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHV_NGWBLiY I aint got shit. I just know from your other posts you have ties to Gods country. Enjoy. Cheers to that. Charlie Daniels came onstage at a Skynrd concert I was at once. He had a huge hat on then too. I wish I could have seen him one more time before he died. Holy shit he put on a fun show. |
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Pee Wee Herman died today
Poor dude. Everyone knows about his getting caught jerking in a porn theater. What most don't know is that he represented himself in court. He believed he could get himself off. |
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Lol |
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Big cat hates little cats wearing hats
Cat Slaps Kitten's Hat Off |
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Wesley Willis - Retard Bus Rock N Roll McDonalds |
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I'm My Own Grandpa |
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Years ago I am at the mall with two teenage sons. Oldest son says hold up, I need to take a dump.
His younger brother waits a minute and then goes into the same mall restroom. He recognizes his brothers Sandles under the end stall. So as he begins to take a leak, he turns over and starts pissing on his brothers foot. Oldest son in the stall starts hollering hey, hey. By this time the youngest son can’t take it anymore. He breaks out laughing. Then it is on. Oldest son hollers as soon as I get out I am going to kick your ass. They both coming stampeding out of the restroom. One laughing so hard he can’t talk. The other is ready to throw down but knows better than to act out in Public. Family legacy moment. Both sons turned out great and are very close. I still laugh every time I think about it. |
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