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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:41:28 PM EST
[#1]
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is ok to fail, it is not ok to quit.
18Z50. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:44:18 PM EST
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is ok to fail, it is not ok to quit. 18Z50. FPNI except -- hang in there brother. Sounds like a difficult time for you. Keep putting lines in the water and something good will happen. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:44:54 PM EST
[#3]
We all feel that way, just go on
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:45:15 PM EST
[#4]
Don't give up.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:46:11 PM EST
[#5]
Who here hasnt failed multiple times in life. What makes us a winner is getting back up and realizing what things in our life are holding us back, whether it be drugs/alcohol, disability or mental attitude. When you identify whats holding you back, you attack them and change your life.
I have multiple old severe injuries that limit my ability to hike, hunt do martial arts again. So what did I do, I evulated, adapted and overcame. Its ok to not be ok. But life goes on and its better to be a participant than a bystander. If you want to talk IM me. I'm, here for u. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:46:47 PM EST
[#6]
Damn. Maybe time for a career change if possible? Also people won't like me saying this but BJJ isn't for everyone. If training is leading to serious injuries maybe it's time to readjust expectations.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:48:51 PM EST
[#7]
Sometimes it's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose. Learn what you can from what happened and chalk it up to experience.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:49:34 PM EST
[#8]
Karma is a thing.. And will bite ya on the ass when you least expect it. And after a while it will run its course, and things will get better. Just have to burn through all the bad karma that's been built up.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:49:34 PM EST
[#9]
FPNI
Keep on trucking, better days ahead |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:50:14 PM EST
[#10]
Not everybody is going to be an olympic star and be James Bond who is good at everything.
I didn't figure out that I was a writer until after retirement and the 4th book. Find your calling. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:50:48 PM EST
[#11]
Stop drinking/smoking/ bad food.
BJJ is probably hard. Someone has to lose. Keep your head up. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:51:17 PM EST
[#12]
Lol bro even Joey Mother fuckin Chestnut lost once.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:51:34 PM EST
[#13]
Nothing you do is a failure if you learn something from it.
Dust yourself off and get back on the horse. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:54:14 PM EST
[#14]
We all feel that way at times.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:55:22 PM EST
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Karma is a thing.. And will bite ya on the ass when you least expect it. And after a while it will run its course, and things will get better. Just have to burn through all the bad karma that's been built up. 
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Posted: 4/14/2024 4:58:45 PM EST
[#16]
OP, we only fail when we give up.
IMHO it seems like maybe you're being too hard on yourself, and maybe at this point pushing too hard. I dunno and don't walk in your shoes, but that's my gut speaking. A wise person once told me how it sometimes seems when we push too hard against the universe, it only pushes back as hard, and when we let go a little and go with the flow, it's can be easier to fall right in the jetstream, so to speak. Hang in there. You are not alone. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:00:19 PM EST
[#17]
You’re not the exception OP, you’re the norm. I have the athletic ability of a sponge and fail at almost everything. Guess what…I don’t care. I am what I am. Ask my son if I’m a failure and he’ll say no. That’s enough for me.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:01:31 PM EST
[#18]
Stay in the fight, & never give up. Improvise, adapt, & overcome.
Life isn't always a cakewalk, & everyday is a challenge. Keep the faith 
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:01:54 PM EST
[#19]
Stop feeling.
Plug through your day. Look for a better job and leave with no notice |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:03:48 PM EST
[#20]
Man, it is in your head. I have been there. It's an awful spiral if you don't get control of it.
Don't self-medicate with alcohol (that's what I did) and talk to a professional if you need to. Your thoughts are not rational right now, and they betray you. You got this. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:04:37 PM EST
[#21]
Good for OP for putting himself out there in politics. Piss on anyone that has been saying OP is a failure at work. Keep looking for a new/better job and stay strong with the wife & family...
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:06:42 PM EST
[#22]
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Failure should be a learning experience.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:08:44 PM EST
[#23]
Hang in there. I have learned that my failures have helped me have more empathy for others.
Before my last job I was rejected by over 150 employers. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:09:46 PM EST
[#24]
Tell these fools you are surrounded by to PISS OFF! Seriously, co-workers, bosses, wife, dojo-mates, whoever - don't give them any power over you by letting them get in your head.
Chin up, eyes forward, keep moving. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:11:25 PM EST
[#25]
Turn down the intensity on the BJJ.
Relaxing should help you do better. Nothing wrong with tapping, it’s the frequent, low-intensity rolls that will help the techniques stick in your mind |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:11:26 PM EST
[#26]
You're only a failure if you quit. We all have stories, struggles, hardships, bad luck, and sometimes are dealt a shitty hand. Get the pity party out of your system and get back on the fucking ARFCOM wagon son...you can mope about your failures when you're dead, until then, living means struggling, enjoy it while you're still breathing.
ROCK6 |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:14:19 PM EST
[#27]
It's okay to fail. It's not okay to give up. Keep trying.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:16:15 PM EST
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP, we only fail when we give up. IMHO it seems like maybe you're being too hard on yourself, and maybe at this point pushing too hard. I dunno and don't walk in your shoes, but that's my gut speaking. A wise person once told me how it sometimes seems when we push too hard against the universe, it only pushes back as hard, and when we let go a little and go with the flow, it's can be easier to fall right in the jetstream, so to speak. Hang in there. You are not alone. I have had a couple life changing opportunities. Both occurred after I was a broken man after what seemed like so much failure. I believe this is the way the universe works. To my credit, I kept charging forward even when I felt like such a failure. Not a brag thread at all. I encourage you to put your trust in God. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:17:02 PM EST
[#29]
If you still have breath in your lungs, then it will be ok. I promise. There is still good in the world. Life is worth the risk.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:20:21 PM EST
[#30]
Personally I've reached the point in my life that I've had to face some facts. I've made peace with knowing most all my dreams will never be a reality.
Not saying you're a failure because I don't know you and it's not my place to start with. Maybe you should take a long hard look at yourself and reassess. Good luck and God bless. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:24:34 PM EST
[#31]
Success REQUIRES failure.
There's no way around it. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:24:56 PM EST
[#32]
Just read the team thread.
What kind of work are you looking for? |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:29:06 PM EST
[#33]
"The man that thinks he can, and the man that thinks he can’t are both right."
OP, think about that for a minute. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:36:54 PM EST
[#34]
Life is a hill, a steep hill; it's slippery, and rocky, and cold as fuck.
You gonna let that beat you? 
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:41:48 PM EST
[#35]
When you fail, it can wear you down. Try not to feel guilty over a natural response, it'll just make you feel worse.
Failure means you're trying. If there are lessons to learn, incorprate them and move forward. Sometimes you can do most things right and still fail. Make corrections if they can be reasonable made and try again. Despite all the negative doomsimping here and elsewhere, this country is a great place to live with plenty of opportunity. Good luck sir, there's multiple places out there where your skills can contribute. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 5:53:29 PM EST
[#36]
Quoted: I failed to win a public contest recently. Lots of people watching, a lot on the line. I find out the game was stacked against me not just during my participation, but from the beginning. Details are in team, but please don’t bring them here. I’ve failed to find a new job. I’ve had 4 interviews in 6 months, 3 no’s and one recruiter ghosted me. I’m told every day at my job that I’m a disappointment and a failure. I’m not, but I’m told that I am. Sometimes I’m told that I’m a disappointment and a failure even when I’m not working. Details have been posted to team before, if you know, please don’t bring them forward. I feel like a failed in martial arts. My last go-round with BJJ ended in two surgeries. This time I’ve just racked up a concussion, fractures, and severe sprains. I’m not the most naturally athletic person on the planet so I always get concepts and movements last, and I’ve got so much going on in my head that my fellow students are telling me how stiff and inflexible and not present I am. I feel like I’ve failed my wife, because she sees me failing. I’m just venting here cuz I’m sick of all this.  Jocko Willink "GOOD" (Official) Edit: The things you are having a hard time with now will make you a better person in the long run. Things will get better. Maybe BJJ isn’t your thing. Nothing wrong with a finding your limitations. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:00:09 PM EST
[#37]
At least you're not JB, that dudes a complete fuck up.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:03:08 PM EST
[#38]
The older I get, the more things I discover that I suck at. It's tough sometimes, but I don't let it stop me, keep moving forward.
We don't have to be winners at everything, just don't stop trying. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:07:37 PM EST
[#39]
OP, I know you and you are not a failure.
We all suffer doubts occasionally, especially when things don't work the way we want them to. My advice: Take a deep breath and find center, reevaluate and make course corrections if necessary and know that you're capable of getting through to the far side of this rough patch. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:10:49 PM EST
[#40]
OP
I've had my share of bad times in life. I just keep trying. It may not be tomorrow that improves, but you are closer than you were. Just try is all anyone asks of you. I had a job quit me mid career. Basically matched the same degree as the appointed city manager and basically told my service isn't needed anymore. Was a rough time for not quite a year. The drinking, self pity, and more were difficult. A better job came. Years later, heard on the news X many are under investigation, later fired. Hasn't got the manager yet but I will see it one day. Got better on most of it except for the separation which didn't help the drinking. It's a work in progress. On the relationship side. After the separation, dated to prove to myself I could. Didn't date much after that. Always kept in touch with a long time friend overseas. Pretty lady, out of my league. The last 2 weeks have been a blur, basically she has been chatting me up. Tentative plans to meet months later, wanting to see if it lasts. But it makes me feel great about the attention from her. I'm taking a wait and see, but I never imagined it would happen. Be yourself, take care of yourself. A day will come for you. Be ready to recognize it. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:28:02 PM EST
[#41]
OP, I'll share 2 quotes with you...
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” --- Theodore Roosevelt "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." --- Michael Jordan You took chances. Yes, you failed...but at least you took chances. Too many people don't even get so far as to take the chances given to them. Yet they're content with complaining about shit without ever taking the chance or opportunity to do something about it. At the very least, you did that. You took the chances. You took the opportunities. In that regard, you have done so much more than the vast majority of people on this planet have done. And for that you can hold your head up high. A failure? No. Not in the least. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 6:31:07 PM EST
[#42]
And why do we fall, Master Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:23:00 PM EST
[#43]
Well how many other people would even attempt BJJ? And I’m not sure what your public problem was. Getting beat in a public match? How many people even try that ? Not me. Sounds to me like you’re beating yourself up to much. The job thing. Keep trying. Things are a little more tough right now than most people want to admit. Life sucks sometimes. It sounds like in you’re in a down time. Keep pushing. Maybe change up some hobbies or do some other things you get some enjoyment from. I think most of us think we’re failing at something. Myself included.
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:43:04 PM EST
[#44]
Hey man, I was going to ask out a teacher at work on Friday but I pussied out. Not sure why, worst she could say is "no." Ain't like I haven't been told "no" before either.
I certainly don't feel good about that! Like "dude, what's your problem? You're worthless when it comes to this shit." But it's fine, I see her next Monday (took this week off). Can't dwell on your failures. Like FP said, "it's ok to fail, not ok to quit." |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:45:21 PM EST
[#45]
Don't try to "win" at BJJ, that's a recipe for failure for a hobbyist. Just go and have fun.
"It's not who wins, it's who's still around" -CH My two cents. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:51:54 PM EST
[#46]
Failing happens. Learn from it, find a way around it or to avoid it a s pick your head up.
Best of luck man.. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:53:43 PM EST
[#47]
Life is hard. I’m in sales, so failure is inevitable at times. Once you learn you can’t win em all you become much less afraid of failing, and winning becomes a lot more fun. Hang in there man
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:53:55 PM EST
[#48]
Forget those people and quit OP
I didn't read thread but I'm sure GD has mentioned this already |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:57:29 PM EST
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Damn. Maybe time for a career change if possible? Also people won't like me saying this but BJJ isn't for everyone. If training is leading to serious injuries maybe it's time to readjust expectations. I'm trying to change careers. I'm trying to get back to what I was doing. And I'm very happy to start over at the bottom of the totem pole - I don't have a need for large amounts of money, just the reasonably modest retail salary I get now, and actual benefits. I could exist comfortably on the salary of an overnight shelf stocker at Wal-Mart. But I want to get back to the career I had and enjoyed, particularly at a place that has a functional HR department where the owner doesn't call you on your day off to bitch you out for literally following his instructions. I'm not quitting martial arts. I'm in this till the wheels fall off. It's one of the only things in my life that gives me meaning. Just lamenting that I'm not good at it. I'm not going to give up, it's not time to make a peanut butter & Glock sandwich, just venting here so I don't have to burden my wife with my first world problems. Hell, maybe I'll quit tomorrow. You never know what the day will bring. |
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Posted: 4/14/2024 9:57:30 PM EST
[#50]
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Teddy Roosevelt Never Surrender. |
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