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Posted: 9/21/2023 11:32:38 AM EDT
Warning: Long read.
Link The share of people in the US ages 18 to 29 who are living with family is at roughly the same level as in the 1940s. Attached File Nearly half of all young adults are living with their parents — and they’re not ashamed to say it. Moving out and living on your own is often seen as a marker of adulthood. But dealt an onerous set of cards — including pandemic lockdowns, decades-high inflation, soaring student debt levels and a shaky job market — young people today are increasingly staying put. What’s more, it’s no longer seen as a sign of individual failure. Almost 90% of surveyed Americans say people shouldn’t be judged for moving back home, according to Harris Poll in an exclusive survey for Bloomberg News. It’s seen as a pragmatic way to get ahead, the survey of 4,106 adults in August showed. “We're in an economy where it's harder to live independently,” said Carol Sigelman, professor of social psychology at George Washington University. “Adults recognize that it’s tough these days.” Covid-19 lockdowns in 2020 drove the share of young adults living with parents or grandparents to nearly 50%, a record high. These days, about 23 million, or 45%, of all Americans ages 18 to 29 are living with family, roughly the same level as the 1940s, a time when women were more likely to remain at home until marriage and men too were lingering on family farms in the aftermath of the Great Depression. For many, the American Dream is more like an American illusion, with nearly three-quarters of those surveyed saying younger people are stuck navigating a broken economic situation that prevents them from being financially successful. Millennials who graduated into the 2008 financial crisis had also questioned their ability to be independent, with many temporarily living with their parents before getting back on track. The majority of millennials are now homeowners themselves. But for Gen Z, it’s unclear if they too are experiencing a delayed milestone or if a broader swath of the generation is getting left behind. Attached File A trend toward financial nihilism is also impacting the way younger generations work, invest, spend, and choose to live, said Jason Dorsey, president of the Center for Generational Kinetics. Look no further than the wave of young people saying no to college, quiet quitting, and accepting that living at home with mom and dad is the new normal. On TikTok, young people unabashedly share videos of working remotely in childhood bedrooms or eating dinner at home with their parents. That includes a highly paid worker in tech attempting to get ahead, a college grad playing catchup after Covid-19 lockdowns set her career back, a mid-career professional tired of climbing the corporate ladder and more. The following are their stories. Burnt Out Naomi Alvarado felt she did everything right. She went to the University of Texas at Arlington and majored in business management, a decent-paying field. She interned, started her career and moved for a better job opportunity. And yet, at 27, she finds herself in between jobs, living with her parents in El Paso, Texas. “People my age were being fed this dream that you could go to college, get a job in corporate America and buy a house. That dream is unattainable,” she said. Attached File Alvarado was let go in a wave of layoffs earlier this year, leaving her without a job in San Diego, California. But even before then, Alvarado said she was struggling to afford the kind of lifestyle she thought should be within reach. The 9-to-5 grind had her feeling overworked and underpaid, with her racking up $10,000 in credit card debt. So, without a job, and unsure about her career prospects, she’s moved back in with her parents. “I felt like I was just climbing the corporate ladder and trying to do what society says,” Alvarado said. “But now I'm heavily questioning working in corporate America because of the work-life balance.” Saying No to College Hernesto Angier thought skipping out on college was smart. He avoided student-loan debt when he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. But as inflation drives up the cost of everything — from rent, gas, utilities and food — the 23-year-old has been finding the wages at hourly jobs aren’t enough to make ends meet. “My older brothers in their 30s were able to move out when they were my age,” Angier said. “But for my generation, it’s hard to move out because the cost of living is expensive in all aspects.” After graduating high school in 2018, Angier started working odd jobs while he lived with his parents in his home state of Washington. Then the pandemic left him out of work and without money to live independently. So when his parents moved to Bella Vista, Arkansas, earlier this year, he followed. There, Angier said he’s applied everywhere from McDonald’s to Walmart. But so far he has yet to secure a job making more than $15 an hour. He's considered going to welding school — his parents would foot the bill — but he's not sure the cost would be worth it, since welders in his area only make about $20 an hour. “There’s a common misconception that young people living at home are just lazy and could get a job,” he said. “But it really doesn't work like that anymore. It’s hard to get a good job in this market.” Attached File Setback by the Pandemic The full extent of how the outbreak of Covid-19 disrupted Gen Z is still emerging. The generation, which was 8 to 23 years old when the pandemic broke out, was at the prime of their school years. And for Grace Seymour — who was studying journalism and English at the University of Connecticut in 2020 and missed out on key internships and work opportunities — it’s been difficult to get her career off the ground. Seymour said working in news seemed like a viable career path when she started college. But by her senior year, the employment opportunities she found were scarce and competitive. “There were jobs available, but unless you had a connection or internship, there was no one willing to hire,” she said. With more than $70,000 in student loans, the idea of taking a chance and moving to an expensive city without a secure, full-time job seemed daunting. So Seymour has since been playing catchup — she’s working two part-time jobs remotely from her childhood bedroom in Trumbull, Connecticut, while she attends grad school. “Our generation hasn’t been set up for success,” Seymour said. “I’m so happy I’m not in this rat race of working, paying for food and housing and having nothing left.” Staying Behind to Get Ahead Growing up, watching her parents stress over money in the Bay Area, Lillian Zhang swore she’d never do the same. How? By splitting costs with her two roommates: mom and dad. During college, pandemic lockdowns showed Zhang how much she could save by living with her parents. So, after graduating from the University of California, Berkeley, and securing a lucrative tech job, she chose to move back home rather than “throw away” her paychecks on an apartment. “I have my whole life to move into a nice apartment or house,” Zhang said. “I made a calculated decision to get ahead.” Attached File Now 23, she’s building her savings and maxing out her retirement accounts, while helping to pay for groceries, home repairs and the occasional family vacation. Of the 329 young adults Harris Poll surveyed who live with their parents, roughly 70% said they wouldn’t be where they are financially if they hadn’t. The same is true of Zhang, who — like more than a quarter of those surveyed — has been able to save more than $1,000 a month. She’s already accumulated a net worth of more than $100,000 on her own. “It's sad because back in the day you could just have one job, support yourself and save money for a house,” Zhang, who also earns extra money as a content creator, said. “But I feel like it's really difficult to do that in this economy.” |
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There are two distinct groups of people doing this. Lazy ass porn and video game addicted losers, and the other group are financially wise and family oriented winners.
I moved out pretty young but I'd rather my kids hang out as long as they are bettering themselves. |
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Nope. Told the wife they’re out at 21 and unless it’s a matter of life or death they aren’t moving back in.
Now they’re welcome to visit, they’re welcome to drop by and hangout, hell they can even keep their key and raid the fridge, but I expect them to manage their affairs and support themselves. |
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Would they like it half as much if they were charged modest rent, utilities and expenses?
I fully understand the willingness to host your kids and the willingness to live at home because it's cheaper. As Dad, I'm not going to be constantly turning lights and closing doors because the kids won't, or allow Mom to be a servant because the 24 year old still wants to be treated like they're 8. |
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Quoted: There are two distinct groups of people doing this. Lazy ass porn and video game addicted losers, and the other group are financially wise and family oriented winners. I moved out pretty young but I'd rather my kids hang out as long as they are bettering themselves. View Quote This. If they are working and saving an ass load of money so they can be financially secure at a younger age then be productive doing something they enjoy, it’s fine by me. I’d say it is much better for them to take a little time, explore opportunities and find a line of work that matches their personality and that they halfway enjoy as opposed to the tired thought of “keep you nose to the grindstone” and “suck it up,” in a job you dislike the majority of the time. |
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If you can, do it
So fucking what I moved out when I was 17 but if you want to live with your parents by all means. Doesn't hurt me one way or another. Pay 1800 a month on rent or live with parents no brainer |
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I remember being a 18 yr old and talking to my employer about moving out of the parents place. He told me that would be the stupidest thing I could do. Said to stay there as long as possible. Save. Have fun. Etc
I did just that I saved and was able to purchase a nice starter home in my mid 20s Now married and coming into my mid 30s and I realize how golden that advice was |
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In my mid 40s now and I've never moved out. Spent my 20s and 30s working/living on the road. Shut my business down when dad got sick and now taking care of mom. I try not to judge people you never kow someone else's demons or home life. As long as everyone in the house contributes I don't see a problem with it.
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Economically it can make sense if you're carrying your share of the load and not freeloading off of them.
Good way to build up a nest egg. |
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Quoted: Would they like it half as much if they were charged modest rent, utilities and expenses? I fully understand the willingness to host your kids and the willingness to live at home because it's cheaper. As Dad, I'm not going to be constantly turning lights and closing doors because the kids won't, or allow Mom to be a servant because the 24 year old still wants to be treated like they're 8. View Quote Dad myself and I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. I wouldn’t charge “market rate” or try to profit but I think it’s reasonable that they pull their weight. |
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Rent and housing prices in my area are INSANELY high and have gone up tremendously in the last 5 years.
Add to that student loans and... This is a recipe for the current situation. |
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Quoted: I remember being a 18 yr old and talking to my employer about moving out of the parents place. He told me that would be the stupidest thing I could do. Said to stay there as long as possible. Save. Have fun. Etc I did just that I saved and was able to purchase a nice starter home in my mid 20s Now married and coming into my mid 30s and I realize how golden that advice was View Quote You also happened to luck into excellent market timing. But yes, that was decent advice. |
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They are embracing the whole " you will own nothing and will be happy " thing.
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I have 2 cousins who are in their 30s, both have good jobs but won't leave home. Granted their mom makes it easy to stay but still. They have no drive to go out on their own.
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Pretty normal for depression level economic times really. There was a time not so long ago when it was fairly normal for young adults to live in the family home until the day they got married and started their own families.
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Very common in other parts of the world - Asia, Latin America
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God the dudes with their studios and 1BRs will be slaying the vajeen
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Millennials are too preoccupied with social media and going to bars to be productive members of society
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My daughter is a few weeks from 19. I have no expectation of her moving out anytime soon. There is no way she could afford to pay current rent prices. She's going to school and that's part of the deal. School, work or both.
Now from a business owner perspective, I have a theory about why it's impossible to find employees for certain jobs. That being 2 or 3 years worth of kids not moving out after high school. Mom and dad might make them work, but there's a difference between having a "job" to fulfill an arrangement with your folks, and having a job to pay your own bills. Her best friend got hired on at a vet's office. Seems like a pretty sweet gig. When you're on the hook for your food and shelter, you're going to be a lot more willing to work a bullshit job for as many hours as you have to. Living with mom and dad? A part time job trimming flowers for a florist might meet the requirements. Thus, a huge shortage in the real world work force. |
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Quoted: I remember being a 18 yr old and talking to my employer about moving out of the parents place. He told me that would be the stupidest thing I could do. Said to stay there as long as possible. Save. Have fun. Etc I did just that I saved and was able to purchase a nice starter home in my mid 20s Now married and coming into my mid 30s and I realize how golden that advice was View Quote Ive never understood this modern idea of booting children from the home at 18 like they are birds in a nest when historically society and in some cases multi generational living is still a thing. I was out too at barely 17 and kinda struggled for a long time. I was very fortunate that my parents had the room and let me stay with them for almost 2 years which was basically the only way I was able to save enough to buy my house. |
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Who would you rather have in the Mother In Law suite?
Been there, done that; easy answer for me. |
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Quoted: There are two distinct groups of people doing this. Lazy ass porn and video game addicted losers, and the other group are financially wise and family oriented winners. I moved out pretty young but I'd rather my kids hang out as long as they are bettering themselves. View Quote agree. 'staying at home' as a financial enabler ain't stupid when the kid is pumping up his / her savings. parents definitely need to make the kids pay some agreed upon monthly amount though. |
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Quoted: Losers? How the fuck do you expect a 20 old to secure a 7% mortgage on a $300,000 home? View Quote A 2BR/1.5 Bath 1200 sqft home in my neighborhood just sold for $405k. With the current 7.25% mortgage rate, that would cost you: ~$2,800 / mo If you use your VA loan to get a 0-down loan. |
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Both of my daughters were completely content living at home and not helping their mother with the chores until I told them I would be expecting them to kick in $50.00 per week for groceries and they both got pissed and moved out ,Thank God , But that was years ago and I would willingly allow my grandchildren to move in and save money in light of the prices to live on their own these days
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I like that they compared it to 1940 to soften the blow. I will give them credit though that they explained why the numbers then were so high then which is unmarried women and farms. That damn sure isn't the reason today.
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Quoted: Multi-generational households are a good thing in my opinion. As good as a traditional stay at home mother. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Reject modernity, embrace tradition. Multi-generational households are a good thing in my opinion. As good as a traditional stay at home mother. Maybe as a societal, blanket statement... but *looking at a family photo* fuuu-huuuuuuck that. |
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It’s a relatively new thing to be off living independently right out of school. Throughout most of time, kids either lived with family on family property or apprenticed out to someone else and lived with them.
Sounds like things are going back to the way they used to be: generations living together and making it work. Grandparents helping to care for grandchildren, children helping their aging parents, cycle of life. Pooling wealth and resources within families is how families have succeeded for millennia. |
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Quoted: There are two distinct groups of people doing this. Lazy ass porn and video game addicted losers, and the other group are financially wise and family oriented winners. I moved out pretty young but I'd rather my kids hang out as long as they are bettering themselves. View Quote Agreed. I have 4 kids. Each of them them have moved in and out over the years. Never to sit home and play game. Each one of them are thriving and successful……..and have jobs. Living at home was the best strategy at that particular time . Coincidentally, one of my sons and his wife, both professionals with successful careers moved into my guesthouse. |
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Quoted: Multi-generational households are a good thing in my opinion. As good as a traditional stay at home mother. View Quote Attached File Attached File |
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Quoted: Agreed . I believe this is a return to a historic norm. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Multi-generational households are a good thing in my opinion. As good as a traditional stay at home mother. Agreed . I believe this is a return to a historic norm. Yep. The whole "18 and out the door, on your own" is a post-WWII aberration primarily enjoyed by Boomers and Gen-X. |
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Hey if the kids are working, paying cash rent, and helping around the house then it's not a problem.
OTOH if kid is moving back with baby momma or baby daddy, not working, collecting welfare, playing video games all night, sleeping all day... GTFO! |
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Wife’s youngest sister is about to move in with us for probably a year to try scrape together a down payment on a house.
We’re going to get $800 a month towards our mortgage for it. Good deal |
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That’s because their mother isn’t a screamer or their dad ain’t got dat dick game on lock
Both my buddies move out as soon as them could because their mom was loud And they would come home to the sound of that all the time Their dad was probably doing it on purpose lol |
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How many parents are laying down the rules like no boy/girls in the house, no parties? That's usually the motive to move out in the olden days.
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Not a bad thing as long as they are contributing something to the household. If my daughter had to move back in with us I'd charge her a modest amount of rent, but secretly put that money into an account and give it back to her once she moved back out.
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Quoted: Compared to market rent? Yeah, that's not even a question. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Would they like it half as much if they were charged modest rent, utilities and expenses? I'm pretty sure that as a practical matter, most parents don't do this and struggle with the issue. I bet most of them charge nothing and their kids end up buying loads of toys with the money, while Mom still cooks and does all the laundry. |
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When I was 16 my Dad said “The day you turn 18 you are no longer welcome to live in my house. You’d better be out of the house that day, with exceptions being if you are accepted to a college you can wait until it starts and then move there. If you join the military you can wait until your ship date. Whichever way you go you’d better be successful because if you get kicked out of college or the military you might as well stay where you’re at because you can’t come back here.”
I was his biological kid too and pretty well behaved so I dunno, he was just harsh like that. Now I have adult kids in their early 20’s living at home. They are very well behaved, no drugs or alcohol and they never go out at night and do work around the house, whatever we need. They are working on education to help their careers and I enjoy their company so I’m happy with this arrangement. I think the world has changed since the early 80’s and most kids today can’t get away with what I did in those old days. |
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What surprises me is everyone of these kids blames "society"for giving them a false path to success. And yet I'll guarantee they continue to vote for the same liars, consume and repeat news from the same liars, and be ok that their younger brothers and cousins are taught by the same liars. Why isn't this experience breaking their ability to be brainwashed? Why are they still repeating and amplifying the current propaganda coming from the same old. sources that fooled them before?
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Quoted: My daughter is a few weeks from 19. I have no expectation of her moving out anytime soon. There is no way she could afford to pay current rent prices. She's going to school and that's part of the deal. School, work or both. Now from a business owner perspective, I have a theory about why it's impossible to find employees for certain jobs. That being 2 or 3 years worth of kids not moving out after high school. Mom and dad might make them work, but there's a difference between having a "job" to fulfill an arrangement with your folks, and having a job to pay your own bills. Her best friend got hired on at a vet's office. Seems like a pretty sweet gig. When you're on the hook for your food and shelter, you're going to be a lot more willing to work a bullshit job for as many hours as you have to. Living with mom and dad? A part time job trimming flowers for a florist might meet the requirements. Thus, a huge shortage in the real world work force. View Quote |
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