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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:13:19 PM EDT
[#1]
Other people are exhausting.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:14:26 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Take away tv and video games in bedroom? 
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:16:05 PM EDT
[#3]
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? But taking it away completely is a surefire way to really piss off and fuck things up with an introverted child. This kid likes to read too, and OP says he already limited his games. Punishing him for probably just being an introvert is stupid. He didn't do anything wrong to deserve punishment. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:16:46 PM EDT
[#4]
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Punish him because of his natural personality? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:17:09 PM EDT
[#5]
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Introverts of the world unite! Separately. In their own homes. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes. 
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:18:27 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Punish him because of his natural personality? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:22:00 PM EDT
[#7]
My 9 year old is the same way. Only hangs out with the neighbor kid. Most of the time he spends time in his room with the tv, Xbox, or YouTube. I’m not a fan of this.
We’ve suggested trying to hang out with friends from school but he doesn’t seem interested. At that age I think the idea of making plans is overwhelming. They don’t have a car to drive and if they are too far they can’t ride a bike to their friends’ house. It’s jus too much so they stay home. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:22:02 PM EDT
[#8]
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes. 
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:25:15 PM EDT
[#9]
Who does he play D&D with?
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:25:19 PM EDT
[#10]
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We’ve moved twice this year and we’ve only been in place for five months. Good luck! |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:26:17 PM EDT
[#11]
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Seriously though, I was pretty introverted growing up and still can be at times. Being around a lot of people is exhausting. I loved to hang out in my room and read, play games, etc. I would also go wander around the forest by myself. It was great. I'm pretty good company
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes.
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert. I had a couple activities I did, Church, 4H, part-time job, working on the farm, etc. But most of my free time, given a choice, I'd spend by myself in my room drawing or playing on my computer. I had a couple girl-friends, but overall didn't really care to socialize with most of the people in my area. I grew up fine. I had no social issues in college or the Navy. I party a little harder these days than when I was young... but still, one of the most amazing things in the world to me is a weekend when my SO is out of town, and it's just me and my xbox. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:29:07 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Similar. I had a couple activities I did, Church, 4H, part-time job, working on the farm, etc. But most of my free time, given a choice, I'd spend by myself in my room drawing or playing on my computer. I had a couple girl-friends, but overall didn't really care to socialize with most of the people in my area. I grew up fine. I had no social issues in college or the Navy. I party a little harder these days than when I was young... but still, one of the most amazing things in the world to me is a weekend when my SO is out of town, and it's just me and my xbox. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes.
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert. I had a couple activities I did, Church, 4H, part-time job, working on the farm, etc. But most of my free time, given a choice, I'd spend by myself in my room drawing or playing on my computer. I had a couple girl-friends, but overall didn't really care to socialize with most of the people in my area. I grew up fine. I had no social issues in college or the Navy. I party a little harder these days than when I was young... but still, one of the most amazing things in the world to me is a weekend when my SO is out of town, and it's just me and my xbox. 
I'm more social these days, but still love some alone time. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:35:57 PM EDT
[#13]
Sounds like me at your sons age. I was happily introverted. I made LTC in the Army, GS14 step 10 in the civilian world, Ph.D. (ABD), a doctorate, happily married for 30 years with 2 wonderful sons. I don't see a downside to being introverted.
Trying to make him something he is not, is a sure plan for disaster. Make sure he has a job, good grades and support him in some type athletic activity. Mine, was cross country track. I enjoyed the long run with no one talking to me. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:48:25 PM EDT
[#14]
I haven't read through all the replies, but have you considered martial arts?
Judo, Hapkido, etc. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 4:51:27 PM EDT
[#15]
Golf.... Great game for individual and will learn social skills as well..
There is a organization called First Tee that runs a program for kids in the summer.... Not sure if its in your area or not... Great Program... ! |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:01:48 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I haven't read through all the replies, but have you considered martial arts? Judo, Hapkido, etc. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:05:30 PM EDT
[#17]
Get him into computer programming and enjoy having a kid with a secure financial future.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:10:45 PM EDT
[#18]
Find a good church with a good youth group for him to do things with. I'm still friends with the guys I grew up with in church. Great thing about youth groups is that girls are in them and he'll get to interact with the opposite sex a bit. Most of my buddies married the girls they grew up with from church.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:15:42 PM EDT
[#19]
You already partly answered your question. You have moved twice this year and he has only been in place for 5 months. It’s not easy making new friends when your 12 because 12 year olds are an awkward bitchy lot.
Me personally I’m 36 and have had to move 30 times. We moved every year when I was a kid because my mother was a crazy bitch and utterly incapable of being in one place for over a year. So I just withdrew, started reading a lot and focusing on my hobbies. So just give your kid a few more months and let him get used to where he is and him not getting moved away again. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:16:54 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"Jimmy, here's some kids to play with. They have a game called 'beat the crap of the new kid.' Have fun!" Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I haven't read through all the replies, but have you considered martial arts? Judo, Hapkido, etc. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:24:55 PM EDT
[#21]
Introduce him to new things.
You seem unable to deal with the issue other than with sports. Being active is great but it's not the only thing. I raced go karts but also learned to code at 14. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:36:53 PM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
He’s not very social. He only wants to hang out in his room. He reads mostly. We’ve moved twice this year and we’ve only been in place for five months. His baseball season just ended and he had a good time but he doesn’t connect with other kids. I would see him chatting and joking around and laughing with his teammates in the dugout but then when I ask him why don’t you make plans with any of those kids it seems like he doesn’t want to leave the comfort zone and try to make plans. When I was his age I was out of the house for the majority of daylight hours. I was all over my hometown getting into trouble and have a great time with my friends. What can I do to help foster social skills and help him get the hell out of the house? |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:44:07 PM EDT
[#23]
Sounds like me at that age, he'll be fine.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:48:07 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Seriously though, I was pretty introverted growing up and still can be at times. Being around a lot of people is exhausting. I loved to hang out in my room and read, play games, etc. I would also go wander around the forest by myself. It was great. I'm pretty good company
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes.
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert.
Just looking for ideas and I appreciate your mindful advice. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:49:33 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I definitely let him be himself. I’m an asshole but not a 100% a dick.
Just looking for ideas and I appreciate your mindful advice. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
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Take away tv and video games in bedroom? Separately. In their own homes.
I had friends, but usually only a few VERY close ones. Everyone else was friendly acquaintances. I get where OPs kid is coming from. Taking away all my stuff and FORCING me to be an extrovert would have literally ruined my relationship with my parents. Let your kid be themselves. Guide them so their introversion isn't crippling, but you aren't going to make them an extrovert.
Just looking for ideas and I appreciate your mindful advice. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:52:12 PM EDT
[#26]
Build him a home gym and train with him. Getting ripped is the answer to all of life's problems.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:53:30 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Build him a home gym and train with him. Getting ripped is the answer to all of life's problems. 
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:55:48 PM EDT
[#28]
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What can I do to help foster social skills and help him get the hell out of the house? I moved between 4th and 5th grade. New school, new neighborhood, etc. Took a while to make new friends. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:56:01 PM EDT
[#29]
What is your sons experience at school? That's where most adolescent friendships are made.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 5:57:17 PM EDT
[#30]
I think one of the most important things is not to try to force him to be an extrovert. I love my dad to death, but growing up it always felt like he was trying to push me to be more extroverted, which caused me to retreat further into a "shell" so to speak. I now feel like a big part of the reason I had such a miserable childhood was because I was constantly trying to defy my own nature. I always had a hard time making friends and opening up to new people. It was literally only a few years ago that I came around to the idea that it's ok for me to be introverted and that I don't actually need to learn to be an extrovert.
Don't let him bury himself away from the world in Runescape or something. Get him involved in clubs and stuff. But then just let him socialize with people at whatever pace feels most comfortable to him, even if that pace seems extremely introverted. Trying to force him to be an extrovert will make him more introverted than he would be if you just let him be an introvert. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 6:01:40 PM EDT
[#31]
get him a minibike or a quadcopter..both things used outside.i had 1 son like that.i showed him how to use basic hand tools and my garage was a mess a month later.
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Posted: 5/15/2019 6:11:01 PM EDT
[#32]
I'm still an introvert at 37 years of age. I can "fake" being social long enough to not seem weird at work, but honestly people just exhaust me. For me at least, it's not a self esteem issue.. its just, I don't know.. tiring I guess. Keeping up with the art of talking, acting interested, blahblahblah. I'm much happier by myself engaged in my solo hobbies. Less distractions, more learning and productivity.
Dont force a thing, OP. Let him be him. Sure, offer camps/classes/sports ect that he finds interesting, but dont force social interaction. He has to find his own way in life. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 6:28:39 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Tech and screen time is extremely limited in our house. I would love to get him into another sport with other kids. There are some baseball camps that are upcoming. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 7:07:09 PM EDT
[#34]
The age of social media and Instagram is creating more and more introverts and homebodies.
Maybe it's not all your on your son but just the way things are these days. Kids get more virtual interaction than in-person interaction aside from school. I see it with my son and his lack of bro time that isn't tied to Xbox. Kids just don't hang like the used too back in the day, they might hook up for a movie or something but they aren't making plans just to hang out. Guess it's just too easy to stay home and not risk the real world interactions with people. This generation of kids have missed a lot of growing up and learning to cope because of iPhones and social media and now the chickens have started to come home to roost so to say and they have a hard time with connecting without the protection of whatever device they use. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 7:08:54 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
We’ve moved twice this year and we’ve only been in place for five months. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 7:12:01 PM EDT
[#36]
Introverts love MMA
ETA: Maybe a dirt bike? That way he doesn't have to talk or ride with anyone else
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Posted: 5/15/2019 7:12:07 PM EDT
[#37]
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Have you considered scouts? In spite of the hate on arf good troops are still out there. |
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Posted: 5/15/2019 7:18:23 PM EDT
[#38]
Stop moving
12 years old is a tough time to be making new friend every couple of months |
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Posted: 5/16/2019 1:03:30 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Build him a home gym and train with him. Getting ripped is the answer to all of life's problems. |
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