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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:59:09 AM EST
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think it's a bit genetic actually, from my dad's side. I'm glad it seems to have missed me. Maybe once a year I throw a wrench after smashing my knuckles, but if my wife somehow managed to piss me off in public I wouldn't make a scene of it and then try to walk home like an angsty teenager. In my experience, and it’s only the sample size of my extended family, BPD is not genetic as it is a learned behavior extending for generations. The cycle can be broken, but it takes a hell of a lot of work, and even more work if you have kids. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:30:45 AM EST
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah.... link? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I saw the title, then OP, immediately knew why. That thread was fascinating |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:39:23 AM EST
[#3]
One thing i don't see often talked about with personality disorders is how they use power and victimhood.
Personality disorders prey on power dynamics. In borderline, the borderline is a victim and they convince others to use their power to attack the "bad" people and protect the borderline "victim". The narcissist says you are the victim and they will use their power to protect you from the "bad" people. Ofcourse usually the narcissist/borderline is the one creating the conflict in the first place, like an arms dealer creating a war then profiting off weapons sales. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:42:17 AM EST
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Imagine being a kid with a BP mom.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
This. Being in a relationship with someone with BPD is an emotional minefield that you will be lucky to survive with your life, much less your sanity. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:44:29 AM EST
[#5]
Great post. I'm sure we all experienced people like this in our lives and everyone should look at their own lives and see if you have any of these traits. You can't change if you aren't aware
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:47:25 AM EST
[#6]
I have to start watching Dr. Phil.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:00:06 AM EST
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I got to see one of those drug seekers in the ER a while back, guy used every excuse in the book and the Physician on duty said you've been here 3 times this week with the same story seeking the same drugs, I will not lose my license to give you drugs. They had him escorted out by security. Almost nobody has heard of partial antagonists like Stadol/Nubain/Talwin, therefore nobody lists them as allergies. He would give one of these for any suspicious pain complaints and wait about 10 minutes to check on the patient. If the pain was relieved and the patient resting, he was reasonably assured it was legit. If they were pale, sweating, and fairly uncomfortable, he knew what he was dealing with. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:08:04 AM EST
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don’t know his expertise but I found it interesting watching him walk her down the path. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
She also took a particularly defensive attitude towards @Navydoc1 without knowing his specialty, and assumed he didn’t know a damn thing. Knowing his background and double board status, he is literally one of the best people on this site to ascertain her mental status as well as give an opinion with regards to her mental status. Just saying... he knows his stuff with regards to pain patients. Edit: Just saw the link on page 1. OhLawd.jpg. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:12:27 AM EST
[#9]
Found this:
 Attached FileHelped me understand someone in my life. Specifically these ADHD symptoms: Affective lability or mood shifts Hot temper outbursts or short-lived explosive outbursts or constant irritability and Emotional over reactivity in the sense of over reactivity to routine life stress |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:17:00 AM EST
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A trick I learned from a crusty old ER doc. Think Perry Cox at age 65. Almost nobody has heard of partial antagonists like Stadol/Nubain/Talwin, therefore nobody lists them as allergies. He would give one of these for any suspicious pain complaints and wait about 10 minutes to check on the patient. If the pain was relieved and the patient resting, he was reasonably assured it was legit. If they were pale, sweating, and fairly uncomfortable, he knew what he was dealing with. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:54:39 AM EST
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hungover. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Hey Doc what’s the disorder where you are miserably depressed when waking up but are perfectly fine like 10-15minutes after and the rest of the day 
being serious...as a kid I would always miss going out to hunt/fish early in the morning. As an adult, it's like the worst feeling in the world, like the weight of the world is pushing down upon you...then like 10 minutes later I am Mr. Chipper..
Weird I know, but holy shit...I need to like turn on my brain and tell myself that it's just chemicals causing those feelings and I am going to be better in 10. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 11:04:23 AM EST
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I knew a guy who would give seekers injections of "nawmalsaleen" (said with a very heavy mispronunciation) after extolling it's virtues as a pain medication. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: A trick I learned from a crusty old ER doc. Think Perry Cox at age 65. Almost nobody has heard of partial antagonists like Stadol/Nubain/Talwin, therefore nobody lists them as allergies. He would give one of these for any suspicious pain complaints and wait about 10 minutes to check on the patient. If the pain was relieved and the patient resting, he was reasonably assured it was legit. If they were pale, sweating, and fairly uncomfortable, he knew what he was dealing with. He said the really funny cases were the repeat ones. Every return visit, they'd list their "new" allergy to whatever he used last time. So he just moved down the line to the next option. By the third try (Talwin injection was still available then), they'd generally give up and go bother someone else. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 11:25:19 AM EST
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I knew a guy who would give seekers injections of "nawmalsaleen" (said with a very heavy mispronunciation) after extolling it's virtues as a pain medication. 
Now that I'm in ER and UC, rather than garden variety family practice, I don't have to deal with borderlines as much. Make no mistake, they definitely come in a lot. But after doing a reasonable evaluation with a negative workup, I tell them, "Well, I'm not certain what's causing your symptoms. But I feel very confident that it's not a life threatening situation. I recommend that you followup with your PCP (who is not me)" and I walk out. Since borderlines like to split and are very black/white, I'm sure there are some bad online evaluations about me being the "worst doctor in the world", since with borderlines, you're either the best or the worst. No in between. I hope they share their opinions about me with all their borderline and Cluster B friends. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 11:28:47 AM EST
[#14]
An interesting pair of threads, to be sure.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 1:13:40 PM EST
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Different part of the DSM. That goes with the bulemics and the people who think they are cats.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 1:47:27 PM EST
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What about cats who think they're people? And the people who agree with them?
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Posted: 3/4/2019 1:53:36 PM EST
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Imagine being a kid with a BP mom. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
This. Being in a relationship with someone with BPD is an emotional minefield that you will be lucky to survive with your life, much less your sanity. Growing up was a freakshow. I could relate crazy mom stories for days. My wife would cry when I would tell her some of the things I dealt with. It has given me a finely tuned radar for the crazy. I won't tolerate it, therefore my life is incredibly drama free. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 2:29:20 PM EST
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A trick I learned from a crusty old ER doc. Think Perry Cox at age 65. Almost nobody has heard of partial antagonists like Stadol/Nubain/Talwin, therefore nobody lists them as allergies. He would give one of these for any suspicious pain complaints and wait about 10 minutes to check on the patient. If the pain was relieved and the patient resting, he was reasonably assured it was legit. If they were pale, sweating, and fairly uncomfortable, he knew what he was dealing with. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 2:34:36 PM EST
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This. Being in a relationship with someone with BPD is an emotional minefield that you will be lucky to survive with your life, much less your sanity. Edit: I know it sound like I’m speaking hyperbole, but I’m being dead serious. They are toxic monsters that once you see behind their mask, their defense is to destroy you in every way. There’s no bottom to their abuse and no limit to their sadistic control. They can justify any behavior, even outright murder, and claim they are the victims. They can also go from a raging monster to a charming waif, to being physically violent, back to rage, then to crying on the floor about how abusive YOU are, then on to coming on to you sexually then raging, all in the space of ten minutes to ten days. This is usually followed up by what would pass as normal behavior until you bring it up and try to reconcile the behavior or you ‘screw up’ and put the forks in the dishwasher tines down and then the cycle starts all over again. Once you figure them out, they cut you out. They will always accuse you of what they are doing, projecting. BPD is the political ideology of the left. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 2:39:48 PM EST
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I once had a patient when I was on rotation as a resident who specifically asked for Talwin. I had never heard of it, of course, but my very experienced nurse had. This was 100% a pathological patient. I went off that rotation before he was discharged and the anesthesia intern taking over wouldn’t send him home with it, and he threatened to shoot her and the whole team. Just one of many almost identical stories of jerks seeking drugs to knock reality back. Some folks actually like the odd dysphoria the partials give, vs pure agonists. But someone used to taking pure agonists don't like them much at all. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 2:41:47 PM EST
[#21]
Holy shit.
I had popped into the locked thread, saw the lashing out to make sure everybody felt sorry for her, and exited post haste. Like that other poster said they got some books on personality disorders and it helped them, I think I need to. I've got to have a way to quantify or put into words this kind of stuff. I'm rather intuitive and have a hard time explaining my 'hunches'. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 3:26:07 PM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In my experience, and it’s only the sample size of my extended family, BPD is not genetic as it is a learned behavior extending for generations. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 3:34:14 PM EST
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Interesting observation. Gotta think about that for a while. I was blaming genetics as this applies to some of my family members. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 3:53:21 PM EST
[#24]
My FIL is diagnosed bipolar. I have too many stories to tell in the short time that I've known him.
The sad thing is that his only child, my wife, couldn't really care less if he died tomorrow. She's had her fill of all of his drama and mistreatment throughout her life. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 3:56:07 PM EST
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hey Doc what's the disorder where you are miserably depressed when waking up but are perfectly fine like 10-15minutes after and the rest of the day
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Posted: 3/4/2019 5:14:55 PM EST
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Adulthood? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Hey Doc what's the disorder where you are miserably depressed when waking up but are perfectly fine like 10-15minutes after and the rest of the day 
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Posted: 3/4/2019 5:34:41 PM EST
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I bet she’s well known to the local ER and I bet she could give us a earful about how docs neglect and don’t believe her. Yes? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Most definitely. Mental illness of some sorts affects what, 1 in 5 individuals? My ex has bipolar with psychotic features and a delusional disorder. Talking about a nightmare.
She's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. Everyday she's "sick" and can't find a doctor to cure her. I've spent way too much money trying to fix her. She's never met a doctor she liked because know one understands her. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:41:11 PM EST
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This sounds exactly like my wife
She's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. Everyday she's "sick" and can't find a doctor to cure her. I've spent way too much money trying to fix her. She's never met a doctor she liked because know one understands her. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:46:42 PM EST
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Also, not doxing, but Navydoc1 is a badass pain management specialist also board certified in anesthesiology. So please, don’t assume that the docs of arfcom are tarded. Hey @Navydoc1, want a patient in Florida? |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:50:38 PM EST
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I dunno. Didn't go to vet school. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:54:01 PM EST
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Didn't know that. Hey @Navydoc1, want a patient in Florida? |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:55:25 PM EST
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Fair enough. But what about the people who think their cats are people, too? |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 7:56:10 PM EST
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No shit. Pretty sad to see this crap posted by a medical professional. Do you think we choose to have crippling personality disorders? do you think I enjoy having the emotional stability of a fucking toddler at times? I wouldn't wish living with BPD on my worst enemy. There's a reason so many of us commit suicide. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:02:13 PM EST
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Delusions? |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:07:25 PM EST
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well, I was gonna say the cats are using mind control on us, but now that sounds kinda crazy. In any case, do they make a pill for it yet? If I were in pharma, that's what I would be researching. Maybe you can pass it along to the next drug rep that comes by. Just be sure and tell him that the cats might be using mind control. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:07:56 PM EST
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Delusions? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Fair enough. But what about the people who think their cats are people, too?  Attached File |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:37:28 PM EST
[#37]
This is good information, I bookmarked it for reference at a later date. I grew up in a day and age when people were categorized by the length of the bus they rode to school.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:43:51 PM EST
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What "crap?" Are you suggesting that these are not real conditions that affect real people? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: No shit. Pretty sad to see this crap posted by a medical professional. Do you think we choose to have crippling personality disorders? do you think I enjoy having the emotional stability of a fucking toddler at times? I wouldn't wish living with BPD on my worst enemy. There's a reason so many of us commit suicide. I'm referring more to the many posts in thread like these (I really should just avoid reading them) bemoaning and being, imo, rather cruel to people with mental illnesses that are out of their control. I understand fully that dealing with BPDs is a living hell. Trust me, I'm the one dealing with persistent suicidal thoughts. Persistent thoughts of self harm. Like I said, I wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy, though I do wish people could spend a day inside a mind like ours to see what it's actually like. Sorry I'm rambling now |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 8:53:41 PM EST
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Can I move down and stay on your couch? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Didn't know that. Hey @Navydoc1, want a patient in Florida? 
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:16:53 PM EST
[#40]
Someone post some real-life examples of Cluster B behavior. I'm reading a lot of "I have so many stories..." but no one ever posts any.
Honestly I'm really curious to hear some. I feel like I'm missing out on something. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:23:27 PM EST
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Don't be foolish. I have spare bedrooms. Come to MI. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: Didn't know that. Hey @Navydoc1, want a patient in Florida?  Attached File |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:43:33 PM EST
[#42]
It is easy to recognize this stuff once you've experienced it or learned about it, unfortunately most people get sucked in and don't know till the damage is done. I dated a BPD girl once, didn't know till after it was over and she was diagnosed. I came out mostly unscathed but it was a very interesting and weird dynamic and new to me. She just wasn't right but I didn't find her incredibly malicious, just self destructive mostly. There were times when I felt she was just dead inside, the lack of emotion was really odd and it puts you in the bizarre position of a role reversal.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:47:18 PM EST
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Of course I'm not...if you read my post, you'll notice I have BPD. I'm referring more to the many posts in thread like these (I really should just avoid reading them) bemoaning and being, imo, rather cruel to people with mental illnesses that are out of their control. I understand fully that dealing with BPDs is a living hell. Trust me, I'm the one dealing with persistent suicidal thoughts. Persistent thoughts of self harm. Like I said, I wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy, though I do wish people could spend a day inside a mind like ours to see what it's actually like. Sorry I'm rambling now A lot of the guys here are like me and have been almost completely destroyed in every way by someone they loved that turned out to have BPD. If they are like me, they were broken too and we need help almost as much as the people in our lives who have BPD. Keep fighting it. I know it’s a struggle. My anger and I’m sure a lot of the animosity shared here by others is not toward you. You are on the right path, you just have to keep slaying those demons. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 9:48:31 PM EST
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Michigan doesn't have beaches like this: https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/136311/IMG_6789_JPG-866667.JPG Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: Didn't know that. Hey @Navydoc1, want a patient in Florida? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/136311/IMG_6789_JPG-866667.JPG |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:10:42 PM EST
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I feel for you, I really do. The fact that you have a diagnosis, accepted it, and you manned up and are struggling through it should give you hope. Very few with BPD have gotten as far as you have. A lot of the guys here are like me and have been almost completely destroyed in every way by someone they loved that turned out to have BPD. If they are like me, they were broken too and we need help almost as much as the people in our lives who have BPD. Keep fighting it. I know it’s a struggle. My anger and I’m sure a lot of the animosity shared here by others is not toward you. You are on the right path, you just have to keep slaying those demons. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Of course I'm not...if you read my post, you'll notice I have BPD. I'm referring more to the many posts in thread like these (I really should just avoid reading them) bemoaning and being, imo, rather cruel to people with mental illnesses that are out of their control. I understand fully that dealing with BPDs is a living hell. Trust me, I'm the one dealing with persistent suicidal thoughts. Persistent thoughts of self harm. Like I said, I wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy, though I do wish people could spend a day inside a mind like ours to see what it's actually like. Sorry I'm rambling now A lot of the guys here are like me and have been almost completely destroyed in every way by someone they loved that turned out to have BPD. If they are like me, they were broken too and we need help almost as much as the people in our lives who have BPD. Keep fighting it. I know it’s a struggle. My anger and I’m sure a lot of the animosity shared here by others is not toward you. You are on the right path, you just have to keep slaying those demons. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:14:00 PM EST
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Someone post some real-life examples of Cluster B behavior. I'm reading a lot of "I have so many stories..." but no one ever posts any.
Honestly I'm really curious to hear some. I feel like I'm missing out on something. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:14:52 PM EST
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It is easy to recognize this stuff once you've experienced it or learned about it, unfortunately most people get sucked in and don't know till the damage is done. I dated a BPD girl once, didn't know till after it was over and she was diagnosed. I came out mostly unscathed but it was a very interesting and weird dynamic and new to me. She just wasn't right but I didn't find her incredibly malicious, just self destructive mostly. There were times when I felt she was just dead inside, the lack of emotion was really odd and it puts you in the bizarre position of a role reversal. Everyone here should listen to this song and read the lyrics. I've suspected for awhile that Maynard is borderline as well, in large part due to Bottom and Prison Sex  Failed To Load Title |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:15:42 PM EST
[#48]
Wife 1.0 was BPD.
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:23:36 PM EST
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wife 1.0 was BPD. What’s interesting is starting to read some of the LBAW threads while keeping the characteristics noted in the OP in mind, and comparing some of the posters to those standards. |
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Posted: 3/4/2019 10:27:12 PM EST
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lots of tales of wives and girlfriends having BPD here on Arf, at almost what seems like a higher rate than what is diagnosed in the general population at large. Makes me wonder how many of those women were actually diagnosed vs judged to be so by their ex, who is conveniently posting only his version of things on Arf. What’s interesting is starting to read some of the LBAW threads while keeping the characteristics noted in the OP in mind, and comparing some of the posters to those standards. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Wife 1.0 was BPD. What’s interesting is starting to read some of the LBAW threads while keeping the characteristics noted in the OP in mind, and comparing some of the posters to those standards. You can join Renata on my ignore list. |
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