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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:11:54 AM EDT
[#1]
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:11:56 AM EDT
[#2]
Is the dad a brown cartoon bear?
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:12:14 AM EDT
[#3]
I wouldn’t like that at all. That’s a bit more than something to be misunderstood.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:12:46 AM EDT
[#4]
Creep.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:14:25 AM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:15:12 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:21:44 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:25:30 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. That said to answer your question technically no it is not pedo grooming because at 15 she is developed and pedophilia has specific definitions Still creepy and inapproriate. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:32:08 AM EDT
[#9]
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:36:34 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote Historyyeah, that one deserves an assbeating. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:39:28 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Please do. That's completely inappropriate and honestly if he's in church leadership I think that's also a problem with this kind of behavior. That said to answer your question technically no it is not pedo grooming because at 15 she is developed and pedophilia has specific definitions Still creepy and inapproriate.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:43:48 AM EDT
[#12]
Thats way over the line and beyond a misunderstanding. Advise the girls parents to go to tell the church. If for some reason they won't, then you should.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:44:01 AM EDT
[#13]
Can the kid block the old man and / or stop posting too?
I would share that with the cops and let them talk to old man. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:52:01 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:01:40 AM EDT
[#15]
Obviously inappropriate. I am surprised sometimes how people second-guess themselves when they observe inappropriate behavior.
And older man commenting repeatedly to an underage girl that she is pretty is inappropriate. Asking when he is going to see her again is inappropriate. His relationship with her, if there's one at all, should have 0 romantic or sexual aspects. Her attractiveness is not his concern. His contact with her should not be as peer, friends, or casual. This behavior needs to be shut down. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:03:11 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Maybe find out about his family situation. The cops is who you should take it to, before going to his peers might not hurt to get their opinion. I mean if he is in no way attempting to lure the kid, those accusations could hurt his standing in his church and career, so be sure what the correct move should be. arfcom at 3AM is no place to get opinions on this. lol |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:08:14 AM EDT
[#17]
Someone needs to show messages to church dude's wife.
If he's single/divorced, I'd go straight to the ass kicking. I have all my daughter's friends' phone numbers and I have only contacted one of the girls once, and that was to say, "Tell my daughter to answer her phone or I'll lock her in her room for a month." She answered immediately. 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:10:29 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Someone needs to show messages to church dude's wife. If he's single/divorced, I'd go straight to the ass kicking. I have all my daughter's friends' phone numbers and I have only contacted one of the girls once, and that was to say, "Tell my daughter to answer her phone or I'll lock her in her room for a month." She answered immediately. @mattja what happened to your avatar? I always hated the fucking thing. Creeped me out. Terrible movie.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:12:12 AM EDT
[#19]
Super creepy. A 50yo grown man shouldn't be writing comments on a 15 year old girls social media.
The story just got worse and worse as I read further. Boy’s dad, 50 years old, has commented on her Instagram posts a couple of times while kids dated and it’s fairly innocuous. A month or two after the break-up, girl posts a picture of herself in a little black dress. Nothing risqué. Kind of a glamour shot type thing. Boy’s dad comments on picture with the heart-eyes emoji and says “very pretty girl”. A week or two later, girl posts a selfie of her in her bathing suit during spring break. Boy’s dad posts the same comment as before except uses “beautiful” instead. A month later, boy’s dad initiates a message saying “hey pretty girl, am I ever going to see you again?” Girl replies “sure”. Boy’s dad replies “how?” Girl replies “me and (son) are still friends. God put us in each other’s lives. I’m sure (son) and I will be hanging out again at some point.” Girl is fairly naive but says she felt a bit creeped out by the messages. But boy’s dad didn’t respond after her reply. And want to know what sucks, the fact you mention later he's a leader in the church. He's probably doing this type of creepy stuff because he's in a position of authority and knows he can get away with it. Guarantee he'll play the "I'm a God fearing man and a pillar of the community, it's outrageous you would even see this innocent act as being nothing more than wholesome. Says more about you than me" and try to flip it back on the accuser. Guaranteed. And all of the church members will instantly defend him. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:30:30 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
LOL, yep @mattja what happened to your avatar? I always hated the fucking thing. Creeped me out. Terrible movie. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Someone needs to show messages to church dude's wife. If he's single/divorced, I'd go straight to the ass kicking. I have all my daughter's friends' phone numbers and I have only contacted one of the girls once, and that was to say, "Tell my daughter to answer her phone or I'll lock her in her room for a month." She answered immediately. @mattja what happened to your avatar? I always hated the fucking thing. Creeped me out. Terrible movie. 
It is kinda creepy. I know it's off-putting, but the character was such a psycho I had to use it.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:33:06 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:40:42 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I mean if he has daughters or nieces around the same age it might not mean much. Maybe find out about his family situation. The cops is who you should take it to, before going to his peers might not hurt to get their opinion. I mean if he is in no way attempting to lure the kid, those accusations could hurt his standing in his church and career, so be sure what the correct move should be. arfcom at 3AM is no place to get opinions on this. lol Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Maybe find out about his family situation. The cops is who you should take it to, before going to his peers might not hurt to get their opinion. I mean if he is in no way attempting to lure the kid, those accusations could hurt his standing in his church and career, so be sure what the correct move should be. arfcom at 3AM is no place to get opinions on this. lol To comment about her looks and say he wants to see her is creepy as hell. Total red flag moves. I'd have the girl's mom show the messages to church guy's wife. And if he ever contacted her again I'd look at a restraining order. If the guy was her coach that's screwed up. If he was the uncle that's still creepy. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:48:38 AM EDT
[#23]
Inappropriate yes. Pedo no. She's 15.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:55:37 AM EDT
[#24]
Church leadership you say?
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:57:01 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm not sure about getting a membership. It's a bad investment when you have as many warning as I have.
It is kinda creepy. I know it's off-putting, but the character was such a psycho I had to use it. 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:00:25 AM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:03:41 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Obviously inappropriate. I am surprised sometimes how people second-guess themselves when they observe inappropriate behavior. And older man commenting repeatedly to an underage girl that she is pretty is inappropriate. Asking when he is going to see her again is inappropriate. His relationship with her, if there's one at all, should have 0 romantic or sexual aspects. Her attractiveness is not his concern. His contact with her should not be as peer, friends, or casual. This behavior needs to be shut down. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:08:19 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Gotcha! I agree about the bad investment part. I appreciate the explanation. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: I'm not sure about getting a membership. It's a bad investment when you have as many warning as I have.
It is kinda creepy. I know it's off-putting, but the character was such a psycho I had to use it.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:10:24 AM EDT
[#29]
OP, maybe the pastor is creepy or not. If the girl ever got into serious trouble someone would help her (maybe her father, ex-boyfriend, or you). I am atheist, but I understand if you are religious. You need to ask yourself why you belong to that church or what you get out of it. If this pastor ruins it for you, find something else. You cannot 'take this man down' over some clearly weird shit.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:11:01 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That was my first thought. And the majority of people I’ve asked about it, too. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Obviously inappropriate. I am surprised sometimes how people second-guess themselves when they observe inappropriate behavior. And older man commenting repeatedly to an underage girl that she is pretty is inappropriate. Asking when he is going to see her again is inappropriate. His relationship with her, if there's one at all, should have 0 romantic or sexual aspects. Her attractiveness is not his concern. His contact with her should not be as peer, friends, or casual. This behavior needs to be shut down. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:11:25 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
15 year old boy and girl are dating. Boy breaks up with girl. No big deal. He just isn't into her that much and she's a bit insecure and clingy...as 15 year old girls can be. Boy's dad, 50 years old, has commented on her Instagram posts a couple of times while kids dated and it's fairly innocuous. A month or two after the break-up, girl posts a picture of herself in a little black dress. Nothing risqu. Kind of a glamour shot type thing. Boy's dad comments on picture with the heart-eyes emoji and says "very pretty girl". A week or two later, girl posts a selfie of her in her bathing suit during spring break. Boy's dad posts the same comment as before except uses "beautiful" instead. A month later, boy's dad initiates a message saying "hey pretty girl, am I ever going to see you again?" Girl replies "sure". Boy's dad replies "how?" Girl replies "me and (son) are still friends. God put us in each other's lives. I'm sure (son) and I will be hanging out again at some point." Girl is fairly naive but says she felt a bit creeped out by the messages. But boy's dad didn't respond after her reply. Was the dad fishing? Or was it a big ole misunderstanding? ETA see this was all addressed later. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:12:12 AM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:12:42 AM EDT
[#33]
Everybody needs a hobby...
Ha but seriously? If that was my daughter and I was in that situation I'd be making sure fingerprints weren't left behind... Why the hell is he even friending minors on whatever social media it is. If I see 50 y/o's that aren't family on my kids "friend list" I'd be asking questions, thank god their too young to use it yet and I'll stop access and teach the dangers as long as I can. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:14:56 AM EDT
[#34]
Creep, needs an ass beating.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:21:07 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
It's no pedo because she's 15, but it is creepy as fuck. "Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia I'd say that's not quite as bad as the old-enough-to-bleed-old-enough-for-me crew. Still, as the father of a teen girl that dude would be... CoC, I better STFU. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:24:07 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:24:46 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As another poster said, it's technically ephebophilia. "Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia I'd say that's not quite as bad as the old-enough-to-bleed-old-enough-for-me crew. Still, as the father of a teen girl that dude would be... CoC, I better STFU. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:29:03 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don't give a flying fuck what wikipedia says about it. A 50 year old man has no business being around a 15 year old. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: As another poster said, it's technically ephebophilia. "Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia I'd say that's not quite as bad as the old-enough-to-bleed-old-enough-for-me crew. Still, as the father of a teen girl that dude would be... CoC, I better STFU. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:29:05 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don't give a flying fuck what wikipedia says about it. A 50 year old man has no business being around a 15 year old. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:33:31 AM EDT
[#40]
A grown man should not be following or commenting on young girls social media- especially a son’s friend.
He’s a creeper |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:34:16 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. A 15 year old is of childbearing age. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I don't give a flying fuck what wikipedia says about it. A 50 year old man has no business being around a 15 year old. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:40:29 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. A 15 year old is of childbearing age. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:47:42 AM EDT
[#43]
Yeah I'd say something, that is some weird shit.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:53:43 AM EDT
[#44]
Dad of the girl needs a length of rope and a tall tree branch.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:55:38 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Divorced? A divorced 50-year-old man telling his 15-year-old son's ex-GF she's pretty and when can HE see her again? "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Obviously inappropriate. I am surprised sometimes how people second-guess themselves when they observe inappropriate behavior. And older man commenting repeatedly to an underage girl that she is pretty is inappropriate. Asking when he is going to see her again is inappropriate. His relationship with her, if there's one at all, should have 0 romantic or sexual aspects. Her attractiveness is not his concern. His contact with her should not be as peer, friends, or casual. This behavior needs to be shut down. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. Bet you a yankee nickel there are other girls he has done weird shit to as well. If it was a random dad I would confront. If he is in a position of authority in an organization like a church or school and did that I would locate the local kiddie diddler task force and put him on their radar. I am certain that he has made off comments or worse to other girls though. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:57:53 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Can the kid block the old man and / or stop posting too? I would share that with the cops and let them talk to old man. Also it wouldn’t hurt to have her consider - if she’s not already - tailoring her posts to only reach known friends etc. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:01:20 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. A 15 year old is of childbearing age. It's way less creepy. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:01:59 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:06:41 AM EDT
[#49]
Completely inappropriate.....
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:11:11 AM EDT
[#50]
Completely inappropriate comments that any normal man would never say to a young girl.
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