Atomic situps

Stupid page 2 deserves an atomic situp.

I enjoyed all of them

My brother and I used to do this to our mom all the time.

Holy shit, are we brothers?

We used to climb up on the top of buildings (small town) and throw snowballs at cop cars.
It was funny because they would look around and never realise where it came from.

I'd take a burned out headlight and throw it against a stop sign as I'd skid through the intersection.

Wait 10 minutes and drive back through, ask the cop what happened?
" musta been a hit & run ... broke his headlight though ".

This would have been the early 70s for context.

My buddy had a POS car that he loved. We would "steal" if every chance we got. And by steal it, I mean put it in neutral and push it as far as we could down the street, into a field, whatever. His car was black and we did it at night. He would get so pissed.  We got a bunch of us together and picked up his sister's Honda civic and put it between a light pole and a tree front and rear.

We also used to collect fistfulls of free magnet business cards and plaster them all over friends cars.

We wrapped one guys car with a full roll of the clear shipping wrap.

Zip ties around drive shafts was a fun one, too.


When I was much younger, I lived on a tropical island, and there were these trees that dropped these huge seeds. They would make a super loud pop after a few minutes when you tossed them into a fire. My brother and I would throw several in when my dad was burning leaf piles. Every time, he would jump when they popped.

When I was in High School I took a birthday candle and taped it to an empty shotgun shell.  Then melted a little of the wax and attached the wick of a firecracker to the candle.  Set it behind a toilet in the lavatory and lit the candle, five minutes later when I was a safe distance away, BOOM.

Penny tapping. Drill hole in penny tie a ft long piece fishing line through it then another to a lot of line. Run up to neighbors house tape into window run back somewhere higher then pull back out side of line the penny would tap against the window lightly but made noise neighbors come out look see nothing go inside repeat lol.

If they got a hint pull line hard it came off window

My old boss was a country boy. He said one time they stuck a bobcat in a piece of luggage and set it on the side of the highway. Guy stops and puts it in the car, his passenger must have opened it. He said the car stopped and both ran away from the car about a half mile from where my boss and his friend were watching.

COC

I got even, and then more, as a yoot.

We tied string to a storm door. The old fashioned kind with the aluminum panel at the bottom and 2 windows.
If you remember you open the door and latch the lock so it wouldnt close shut.
We ran across the street and hid in the bushes string in hand.
This was on a back street no traffic about 3:00 A.M.

We started opening and closing that screen door over and over and finally a light came on. We quit.
Guy was looking around, lights off. Bang bang bang yanking that door.
He threw that door open looking around. As soon as that door closed again bang bang and we took off behind us jumping fences laughing.

Firecrackers on a porch in the middle of the night.  My cousin blew a guys mailbox off his house out into the street with one of those old school real M80s. Cops were looking for him that night.

Blocked a road with orange cones and got up on a hill looking over the whole thing with eggs. Egged the first car when it stopped and ran. Stupid shit I shake my head over now.

I probably have a half dozen more.

Back in the 1960s my 2 cousins were probably 12-14 years old.  One would lay in the street while the other would scream at drivers saying his brother just got hit by a car.  When they got a car to stop they’d run off into the woods and laugh their asses off.  I watched this from a distance but didn’t partake.

Surprised I haven't heard the paper grocery bags filled with dog shit left burning on someone's porch (that you obviously don't like) ... ring bell bang on door ... hilarity ensues.

In high-school we had an odd duck in our class, you know the type, socially awkward,  wrong side of the tracks and generally picked on. 16 comes around and everyone starts accumulating cars and trucks.  Low and behold one day he shows up with some beat to death late 50's F-100. More surface rust than paint but it beat walking and it was his.

Had auto shop, AG, and few more classes with him. He had lifestyles of the rich and famous dreams for that truck. So just to get his goat ?? one time I hatched this plan. I grew up on a generational farm. 3 generation's of spendthrift farmers and all of their gear head kids. Looking back on it is was a 100+ acres of citrus and a 3 acre junkyard with a house attached.
I went scouring through the junkyard for a driveshaft, nice and rusty! Then got about a pint of oil out of the waste tanks we had and lubed that old fossil up. Put it into my pickup bed and waited.

Back in the open campus days, those that had cars congregated in the parking lot before school and between classes. Because that was cooler than waiting out side the door of a classroom or storing your crap in a locker, plus tunes and other deviant behavior.

So kid rolls in one day a little late and doesn't pay any attention to any of us and bails straight to class. As soon as he's out of eyesight, I tell my buddies watch this for the slow burn. I grab this crusty, greasy vintage driveline out of my pickup bed and run a few slots up to the kid's truck and put it in his bed with about a foot hanging out the rear, and run back to get my books and tell my buddies don't miss this after class.  A few of them the lightbulbs are already shining bright by their Cheshire cat smiles, others are warming up and well a few a clueless but along for the ride.

Class is class and thankfully nobody ribbed kid to hard about anything to give any thing away but when class ended, game on. Like a pack of wild animal's we were hot on his feet to the parking lot. Just far enough away, but close enough to be in striking distance before our prey could react.  He gets about 30' from his pride and joy and see's this crusty, greasy old drive shaft projecting from the bed of his pride and joy. He's in auto class and knows the basic parts of a drive train, how can his eye's be lying to him?

He flipped his F*king wig! I mean a string of expletives that would make a Marine D.I. run for cover! Backpack, notebook thrown on the ground,  LITTERALY HOPPING MAD! I don't know how my buddies and I held our composure but we did! He finally collects himself and his belongings and continues to his deflowered pride and joy, chunks his stuff in the bed and gets ready to slide under his truck to assess the damage. About that time, my compatriots and I arrived on scene and a little back and forth happens, accusations are made and finally I pipe up as he's laying on his back in the parking lot, "Oh that? I was late to class and didn't think you would mind holding that for me until the end of class? I retrieved my drive shaft and walked over to my truck and tossed the drive shaft in. The best was him finally looking under his truck trying to figure it all out and realizing he had been had!

We would throw water balloons at passing cars in the dark.  One time we used wet "puff balls" think of the balls on stocking hats used for crafts.  Hearing them hit a windshield on a passing car was awesome.  We would also n****r knock houses in the dark.  Prank calls was also fun.  We got chased one night by someone we hit with water balloons.  One of my friends ran into a barb wire fence and tore up his legs.

One night we stretched duct tape from a mailbox post to the winch of boat trailer on the other side of the road.
We got 3 cars which just kept going, and one good ole boy in a pickup that got it right across the windshield.
He (of course) ripped it off leaving a big streak of adhesive. We were up in a tree laughing at him.

The best was a dude on a motorcycle who wasn't going that fast but managed to get all wrapped up in it.
I think he was inventing new cuss words before he removed enough to get back on the road.

Calling a random number.


"Is your refrigerator running?"

Why yes it is.

"Well you better go catch it before it gets away!"

Damn, I forgot about them.

Yeah, had some fun with those as a kid.

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Cigarette loads. Holy crap the moment after it blew, the look on their face with an exploded cigarette was priceless. Something out of a cartoon.

I used to turn everything on and the radio blasting when my mom would turn the car off and walked away. It was hilarious the next morning when she’d start the car up and the windshield wipers, cranked stereo, etc all went full blast.

Ah. To be a kid again.

• Go to the 9th or 18th green on a golf course, dig up circular plug of grass used to cover the previous location of the cup, transport it to the 8th or 17th hole, fill up the cup with sand from the trap, and cover the hole with the grass plug. Hide in the trees nearby. Hilarity ensues when the next foursome arrives and there's no hole to play!


• Prank call to an insurance agent in the yellow pages with a picture of a Minute Man. "Is Paul Revere there?" "Uh, no, he doesn't work here, sorry." Several of the same calls later, "Stop calling here, you little f*ckers!"


• Pull up a string of synthetic carpet thread from the school floor, wrap it around the eraser end of a pencil with a paper clip sticking out, then drag your feet on the carpet to build up a massive static charge. Discharge a lightning bolt on a classmate by touching them with the paper clip!


• The classic dogshit in a paper lunch bag doused in charcoal starter fluid, lit on fire, ding-dong-ditch. Worked every time!

Saw my brother murder our step brother.

cops got involved.

harmless prank and no one was dead.

good times.

I was sixteen and playing with my chemistry set when my youngest brother asked me to teach him an experiment. He is six years younger.

"Sure, here is a test tube and clamp. cut a piece of wax off this candle and put it in the tube. Very good. Now take a measuring spoon of this yellow powder and put it in the tube. Hold the tube over the burner flame until the mixture turns completely black. Here is a pencil and paper.  Write down everything that happens. I have to go over to a friend's house but when I get back let me know how it went."

Three hours later, I came home. The house smelled like rotten eggs. Every window in the house was wide open. Mom was furious. Dad was laughing his ass off. My little brother was shaking his fist at me while rubbing his butt. I lost my chemistry set for a week but it was worth the hilarity.  Fifty-five years later everyone, except my youngest brother, breaks out laughing when the Great Experiment is mentioned.

When I was young you could ride around the day after Halloween to see whose yard was rolled in toilet paper.  Trees covered in it.

I haven’t seen a house get TP’d in decades.

Lots of that road still is very rural

When I was a Boy Scout, we went camping about two miles down the road from a ritzy private country club with a very popular golf course. At night we took rolls of toilet paper and stuffed all the holes then topped them off with water. Our neighbor was the club security guard. It drove him nuts as it reflected poorly on him that it always happened on his night shift. Most of the time he was drunk when we struck. They never did figure out who kept doing it.

Phone call to local bowling lanes, circa 1964:

"Can you page Bill Mehoff?"
(phone on hold)

"Sorry, no one here by that name".

"Maybe you could try his brother, Jack?"
(phone on hold)

"Why don't you come down here and suck a big knob, you little fuck?"

One cold night my friends and I found a frozen dead cat lying on the ground lying prone on the ground. Pried him up off the ground and took the cat to a residential road and propped him up with sticks to make him look like he was standing in the middle of the street. Cars would stop and honk their horns to get him to move and then the driver would get out and attempt to get the kitty to move or come to them. I learned that some people don't like dead cat tricks!

Prank call to bowling alley: "Do you have eight-pound balls?" "Yes." "How the hell do you walk?"

Re-arranging the letters on one of those lighted roadside trailer signs. The best one we came up with one time:

"DICK OR PUSSY SANDWICHES $5"

Buddies and I would throw water balloons at passing cars in the neighborhood
They knew us and knew we didn't mean any harm
One car ended up being an undercover cop tho
He wasn't amused much

You want to keep your identity secret for this prank.

My buddy once took an old wig and put it in the trunk of some assholes car during a  school football game or dance. Leave enough hair hanging out so it would be easily visible to anyone behind it in traffic. Police were involved.

Can't recall the exact results but pretty sure said asshole was drunk enough to catch a dui.

We found a ream of hot pink colored heavy print paper, designed a fake eviction notice with the city's letterhead/logo we found online, went around at night and posted them on a bunch of people's front doors.

Of course, being teenagers, we were too stupid to know that homeowners don't get eviction notices.

I think we had more fun than anything else sitting in my dad's Bronco at night to get on the CB when it was still active locally. We would shit talk people on the radio for hours and get some of the locals really pissed off to the point that they were screaming and arguing with each other, not just us I remember getting one guy to agree to meet up at a bar to fight. Learning the names of the locals' wives' CB handles and pretending to be boyfriends looking for them, shit like that. My parents' house was at the top of a hill that overlooked the entire city, so we had huge reach - plus dat K40. Shortly before we discovered internet chat and the real juicy trolling opportunities.

Pencil eraser jammed sideways in the school water fountain's larger drinking hole. Then the smaller hole sprays the side of your head..


1oz of adhesive wheel weights zip tied to a driveshaft.


Not my "prank" but a co worker was pissed at his neighbor leaving at 4AM in his fart-canned ricer, revving his engine, so he filled his muffler with expansion foam through a long straw so it wasn't visible from the outside. I know you don't eff with people's rides like that but that was savage.

Poke a very tiny hole in the side of a beer can, just under the top rolled lip...usually with a thumb tack or.....a  dart tip....... Your buddy will keep wiping his chin..lol.


Get a few sensormatic tags and stick them to the rear of someone's shoe or clothing.

Well here I was thinking me and my buddy were the only ones that ever thought that up.  We would take old purses and fill them to the brim with dog shit, rotten pears from a fruit tree (really stinky), dead critters we shot….you name it.  Put that purse right on the center line of the local country road.  People slamming on the brakes, jumping out, grabbing the purse and dashing back to the car and speeding off.  Usually never made it 100 yds before the purse would come flying out the window.  We would be rolling with laughter imagining the scene in the drivers seat when they popped that sucker open!!!. Even had a dump truck driver stop, pull on the air brakes, climb down and clomp down the road in his boots one time to grab the purse up.  We did it too close to my friends house one time when his brother and sister-in-law grabbed one and we figured we needed to lay low on that gag for a while!!

I went to various libraries and I penciled in an S after MOBY.


Yeah, I got punished for it from Los Angeles Public Library.

A friend of mine wrote "Dave is gay" real small on a piece of paper and cut it up into strips, almost like a fortune cookie slip. He hid those damn things all over the school. In staplers, pencil sharpeners, under chairs, desks, anywhere he could think of. Had to have been hundreds of them. They were popping up all year.

The time it must have taken to do that.

We used to do one as kids where we’d stand in opposite sides of the road and act like we were pulling a rope taut when a car was about to pass.

Looking back that was probably dumb.

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This is one I pulled when I was a night stocker at our local grocery store.

We used to go to McDonald's, stand a nickel on end, and slam the salt shaker on top. It'd pop through the bottom and then the next person to use the table would grab it and all the salt would run out the bottom.

Pretty friggin funny when you're 12 years old.

In high school, if there was a 3-lane road at a traffic light, my buddy and I would pull past the center car far enough they couldn't see out taillights. Wait for a few sec then reverse slowly simultaneously. We would tap out horn and look at the driver....oh how the panic set in.

Looking back, was dumb since they could easily hit the gas by mistake since their brakes obviously didn't "appear" to work.

Even doing that solo gets them looking at their feet.

The red cherry bomb fire crackers fit perfectly into the barrel of a paint ball gun. We would hide in the woods next to a highway and launch them over cars at night like a mortar.

We had one of those big three man water balloon launchers that we would do the same thing with.

We had a big stash of the mortar shell fireworks that we would light and throw like grenades onto front porches.

Had a radio shack police scanner that we could dial in to hear conversations on the early cordless house phones. We would sit outside houses and listen for a while before knocking on the door and yelling a bunch of details from the call at them when they answered the door.

We were young... My buddies parents divorced.  He moved into an apartment with his mom.  We would go to the lost and found bulletin board, collect the phone numbers of lost cat, lost dog.  Call them and make meow noises or barking noises.  

Before caller ID.

It was mean....we laughed our asses off at the time.  

When I worked at a restaurant this one guy we hated was taking a shit in the employee bathroom.  We got a manilla envelope from the office and filled it with whipped cream and slid the opening of the envelope under the door and stomped on the other end spraying him with the whipped cream.

Prank telephone calls.

Caller ID and cell phones killed it.

K40 was the shit. Slap a trunk lid lip mount on a sedan and you could get a flat swr. Peak the CB and you had a bad mofo.