Posted: 3/5/2010 8:42:36 AM EDT
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I have almost the perfect amount of chest hair right now. Pity I'm going to get hairier as get older. I'll have to go either all or nothing in less than a decade.
Snakes smell prey by 'tasting' the air. How intense must a dead rat taste when it's right up against your olfactory nerves as you eat it? It must suck to be a snake. Also, why is it that dogs can have some exceedingly questionable food tastes? They LOVE cheese (who doesn't?), yet they display the same passion for chicken carcasses marinated in manure. If humanity ever genetically manipulates animals to be more efficient workers/servants, having a dog chef is definitely a no-go. Worst cheeseburgers ever. The giant hole in the crotch of my running pants makes me think I should get a new pair. Of course, when I'm running by someone they probably aren't taking that time to scrutinize my crotch (plus, the positioning makes it tough to see while I'm standing), so I'm probably okay for another few months. Oh McDonalds. I'm not sure which I like less, your food or your commercials. Fucking 'Filet O Fish" jingle. Dear people on the retaining wall under my window: please pipe down and go home. I have to get up for work in the morning, and whatever you're drinking from that bag will taste just as good on your own front stoop. |
| Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers. |
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Quoted:
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers. ....uhhh...... 
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| Sometimes late at night, lying in bed, I get the uncontrollable urge to scratch my ass. I try to do this stealthily and then stick my hand under the blanket so that it won't disturb my wife. Im too lazy to get up and wash my hands. Every so often, she will catch a tiny wiff, and her response is always to grab my hand, pull it to her face and smell it. She then becomes enraged at me. How is this my fault? |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers. ....uhhh...... oh let the sun beat down on my face, stars to fill my dream. I am a traveler of both time and space to be where I have been. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers. ....uhhh...... oh let the sun beat down on my face, stars to fill my dream. I am a traveler of both time and space to be where I have been.  .....took a minute.....have you listened to the A. Crouse deut alblum?
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