Posted: 12/2/2009 8:37:07 AM EDT
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Hey.
The wife and I have two children together, ages 4 and 3. We're financially stable, own a home, etc. Our marriage is solid (we argue, etc of course, but we've been together for 10 years and we're gonna get old together) We've been fortunate and have room in our family for another little person who needs a family. We're thinking about adopting a child. Just sticking our toes in the water, so to speak. No foster kids with baggage but an infant or toddler we can raise as part of our family. For those of you who have done this, how long did the process take? Was it a major pain in the ass? Would you go through it again? Again, just sticking our toes in the water. Thanks. |
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Going to depend on your state. We live in Texas and did a private adoption of twins born in Idaho. At one point I was standing in a court room with 3 lawyers before a Judge. I was paying all of them...
We couldn't leave the state of ID until the paperwork cleared both state capitals, that took about a week, then we had them living with us for 6 months before we could finalize the adoption. Plan on spending $10k to $20k, but you will get most of it back on your income taxes as long as you paid at least that much in. |
| In Florida my ex wife had to go through a few months of classes, several in home studies(make sure home is safe and such), alot of paperwork, and waiting. She worked as a probations officer of sorts and also a guardian ad litem at the time so she had alot of inside help with the lawyers/courthouse/judges. |
| We did an older child adoption, we had 1 child and we couldn't have a second. We did an International adoption as we had a friend who had contacts and we were both over 40 at the time so we weren't going to be at the top of the list for domestic . It took us about a year and a half or so. Was it a major pain - yes indeed. Am I glad we did it; absolutely. Would I do it again; as we are both over 50 now, no; were we younger - possibly. The first year was hard - especially for her, but we got through it and she has been a great addition to our family. She got married earlier this year and they didn't waste any time and she is going to give us our first grandchild come the end of May or first of June. |
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We have been waiting just under a year.....it will cost us,once placement happens, about 15k...we are working with an adoption agency in SC but they are nationwide. SC has a 24hr grace period which is the best in the country. For comparison Georgia has a 2 week waiting period.
Good luck Edit...and it is a pain in the ass....background checks, fbi checks, homestudy, answering lots of questions about your relationship with your wife, etc etc. Edit2: after reading my post again I did not include the fact that we have prayed a lot about this and we are both happy that we have this opportunity. |
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As an adoptee I am VERY GRATEFUL that I was adopted. You WILL at some time face the inevitable question of "WHO WERE MY REAL PARENTS". It is a natural question and you should expect it. My advice on this is to never hide this from your child. It is an honest question and no harm is intended. My parents told me just enough to satisfy my curiosity and that was all it took. MY BELIEF IS THAT THIS INFORMATION SHOULD COME FROM YOU AND NOT ANY OTHER SOURCE!
I recently had the pleasure of speaking briefly to a group of potential adoptive parents and this was the message I spoke about . I also thanked them profusely for even CONSIDERING becoming adoptive parents as this is such a noble act. Good luck. |
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2 adopted kids here. 1 international,1 domestic. As someone posted earlier the best lawyer you can get will make all the difference. I fired my first lawyer half way through the first adoption and went after him for what we had already paid, which we did get back after agreeing not to sue the firm.
Experiences/ expenses will vary from state to state. I could tell you some horror stories, but don't want to discourage you. It was well worth it in the end for us. FWIW, my son was a newborn, and my daughter was 18 months old. Getting my 18 month old daughter adjusted to her new life was very difficult. We adopted 10 years ago so I'm sure alot has changed since then. |
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We adopted a baby boy from the Dominican 17 years ago.
We went for an out-of-country adoption due to a number of factors to include the wait time here in America, etc. We also had the ability to pick if we wanted a boy or girl (at the time the US adoptions we were looking into had like an 18 month wait and when your name came up you got offered whatever was at the top of the list so it could be either a boy or girl). We had to go through the normal pre-adoption madness- the home study, getting the well tested, fingerprints and background check, etc. along with dealing with the DR consulate and so on. However, it all actually went pretty smooth and everything was in place before our kid was born (so < 4months). Time to do the adoption in the DR was a bit over a week before wheels up back to the states. The kid did travel back to the US via Miami on a DR passport but getting through immigration was very quick (as US parents we went to the head of the line and it was a formality thing). The only thing I remember doing after we got back was having his name legally changed from "Tomas" to "Thomas" and applying for his US citizenship. Total cost at the time was around $15k from start to end. Would I do it again? Yeah even though he's grown into a 6'3" teenager with tude right now so I guess he's no different then any other teenager out there. :D |
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Quoted:
As someone posted earlier the best lawyer you can get will make all the difference. I fired my first lawyer half way through the first adoption and went after him for what we had already paid, which we did get back after agreeing not to sue the firm. I want to repeat this again. We talked to one local attorney who basically tried to get us to commit a felony. Not making this up either. Told us to just go get the babies and bring them to Texas and she would take care of all the paperwork... Ya, can you say kidnapping. Don't hire a local family attorney, get one that specializes in adoption, and if adopting across state lines or international, make sure they are 100% sure of what they are doing because there are sticky points. For example, if interstate, your home study must comply with BOTH states requirements, not just your home state. And the person writing the report must understand this and be prepared to write the report to comply with both. A good attorney will make all this easy on you. |