[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Aggie joke thread. (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 10/24/2008 7:16:18 PM EDT
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The Aggies were planing a space flight to the sun, people said the sun would burn you up. The Aggies said no problem, we're going at night. Two Aggies were hunting in the woods. They came across a nude girl. She asked what they were doing. The Aggies said hunting for game. She said I'm game. They shot her. Two Aggies standing by the road watching a dog lick his balls. One Aggie said, I wish I could do that. The other Aggie said, go ahead he looks friendly. |
An Aggie is a current or former student of Texas A&M University, the finest educational institution in Texas, and the most conservative by far I might add as well. Some like to poke fun at us because they have to live with the fact that they made the poor decision not to go there or couldn't get in. We take it all in stride though 
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DPS pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard-of-hearing and her husband. When the trooper asks the lady for her driver's license the lady responds, "Heh, what did he say?" The old man speaks up as he says, "HE NEEDS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE." A few minutes later the trooper comes back to the car and says, "Ma'am I see you're from College Station." The old lady comments, "Heh, what did he say?" The old man speaks up as he says, "HE SEES YOU'RE FROM COLLEGE STATION.'" The old lady nods her head, "Yup." The trooper mutters, "Boy, one time, I got the worst piece of ass I ever had there." The old lady replies, "Heh, what did he say?" The old man yells, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!" |
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And then on the other side of the state, we have another fine tradition. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxwOLbImcU Hook 'em |
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An Aggie heard about a new chain saw that let him cut 5 cords of wood in a day, so he bought one. The next day, he goes out and manages to cut one cord. He can usually cut 3 in a day. So he thinks "maybe I didn't work hard enough." The next day, he gets up early, works his ass off all day, and still only cuts a cord and a half. He takes it back and complains. The saw guy starts the saw, Bbbbrrrraaaapppp! Aggie says "What's that noise?" |
LoL I remember that, Wreck'em! Black Out Texas! |
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Northbound feeder of Hwy 249, north of Louetta Road, in Houston! 
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Aggies enjoy the jokes almost as much as the joker. You can buy Aggie joke books in all the campus bookstores. Its taken in stride.
Here's some more: Did you hear about the two Ags who drowned when the pickup they were riding in ran off a bridge? They couldn't get the tailgate down. A man is choking in a restaurant and an Ag runs up to help. He grabs the guy from behind and starts to pull his pants off. "What the hell are you doing?", says the waiter. "I'm doing the hynee lick maneuver!", replies the Ag! |
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Three greatest Aggie inventions:
- Screen door for a submarine - Solar powered flashlight - Ejection seat for a helicopter ––––––––––- How does an Aggie take a shower? Piss into the wind. ––––––––––- There's three guys facing a firing squad, one of them happens to be an Aggie. The first guy goes in front of the squad, as he's standing there the commander begins giving orders. "Ready!" "Aim!" At this point the man cuts in and yells as loudly as he can while pointing behind the firing squad, "Hurricane!" The firing squad goes into chaos and the man escapes. Second man goes before the squad and the commander begins issuing orders. "Ready" "Aim!" The second man points wildly behind the squad and screams, "Tornado!" In the ensuing confusion he also escapes. Finally it's the Aggie's turn to go in front of the squad. As the commander begins issuing orders the Aggie gets a giddy smirk on his face. "Ready!" "Aim!" At this point the Aggie points behind the squad and screams at the top of his lungs, "FIRE!" |
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Hell, I'm an aggie.
You know what an aggie quarter is? A .22 cartridge and 3 pennies. Two sisters, one a t-sip, one an aggie, inherit the family farm. The bull dies, and they decide the have to replace it. The two sisters decide one of them should go to town, and send a telegraph to other to help collect the bull. The t-sip goes to town with $1k in search of a bull. She finds what they are looking for, and pays the man $999.95 Then, she goes to the telegraph office to have a telegraph sent to her sister to have her come help bring the bull back. The telegraph operator informs her that they can only send 1 word for the 5 cents she has left. The t-sip thinks about it for a bit, and settles on what word she wants sent. "Send the word, 'comfortable,'" The operator if she really wants to send the word, and she replies, "yep, she's an aggie, she'll have to sound the word out." |
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What is an aggie? This wonderful group. http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m306/BearMeat1845/aggie_squeeze.jpg Those are not just Aggies but the Corp, and they are a little different than some. Aggie here but non-corp. BTW Best Aggie Joke. Go look at an Aggie joke book and see where it is printed. Yes thats right in College Station. Couple of aggies thought it would be a good idea to make money...and they have. |
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And then on the other side of the state, we have another fine tradition. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxwOLbImcU Hook 'em Looks like we got a good game coming up Saturday, Tea Sip! ETA: Is it true that right after Pearl Harbor, the whole Corps volunteered for the service? |
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What do pot and the aggies have in common? They both get smoked in bowls.  How many football championships, Tech? Oh, that's right. NONE. How many have the aggies won? And dont give me some bullshit about "we won in 1912 or 36." Ask and yet shall receive, hick. CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS (18) 1917 Southwest Conference Champions 1919 Southwest Conference Champions 1921 Southwest Conference Champions 1925 Southwest Conference Champions 1927 Southwest Conference Champions 1939 Southwest Conference Champions 1940 Southwest Conference Champions 1941 Southwest Conference Champions 1956 Southwest Conference Champions 1967 Southwest Conference Champions 1975 Southwest Conference Co-Champions 1985 Southwest Conference Champions 1986 Southwest Conference Champions 1987 Southwest Conference Champions 1991 Southwest Conference Champions 1992 Southwest Conference Champions 1993 Southwest Conference Champions 1998 Big 12 Conference Champions BIG 12 SOUTH DIVISION CHAMPIONS (2) 1997 Big 12-South Division Champions 1998 Big 12-South Division Champions National Champions: 1939 CONFERENCE AFFILIATIONS 1894-1902: Independent 1903-1908: Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1909-1911: Independent 1912-1914: Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1913-1917: Texas Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1915-1995: Southwest Conference 1996-Current: Big 12 Conference No Team: 1895 |
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What do pot and the aggies have in common? They both get smoked in bowls. How many football championships, Tech? Oh, that's right. NONE. How many have the aggies won? And dont give me some bullshit about "we won in 1912 or 36." Ask and yet shall receive, hick. CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS (18) 1917 Southwest Conference Champions 1919 Southwest Conference Champions 1921 Southwest Conference Champions 1925 Southwest Conference Champions 1927 Southwest Conference Champions 1939 Southwest Conference Champions 1940 Southwest Conference Champions 1941 Southwest Conference Champions 1956 Southwest Conference Champions 1967 Southwest Conference Champions 1975 Southwest Conference Co-Champions 1985 Southwest Conference Champions 1986 Southwest Conference Champions 1987 Southwest Conference Champions 1991 Southwest Conference Champions 1992 Southwest Conference Champions 1993 Southwest Conference Champions 1998 Big 12 Conference Champions BIG 12 SOUTH DIVISION CHAMPIONS (2) 1997 Big 12-South Division Champions 1998 Big 12-South Division Champions National Champions: 1939 CONFERENCE AFFILIATIONS 1894-1902: Independent 1903-1908: Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1909-1911: Independent 1912-1914: Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1913-1917: Texas Intercollegiate Athletic Association 1915-1995: Southwest Conference 1996-Current: Big 12 Conference No Team: 1895 Damn, I miss the South West Confernce (except for Arkansas) |
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I miss the old SWC, too. It used to be that you knew who was playing who based on which weekend of a fall month it was. Heck, you didn't need to look at a schedule.
College football allowed itself to be raped for money so that gamblers would have more to bet on. |
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Damn, I miss the South West Confernce (except for Arkansas) I remember the big stink the first year Univ of Houston was allowed in the SWC and damn if they didn't win the championship. The Cotton Bowl committee was pissed and a reporter caught one of the committee members bitching about UofH winning the SWC and coming to the Cotton Bowl. Refering to the low rent and low class alumni of the U of H and how Dallas would lose money he said "half of them will be eating at the 7-11 and the other half will be holding it up." Probably true but it sure started some shit. |
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Q: What's the difference between a BMW and a T-Sip Coed? A: Not everyone's been in a BMW! 
Sorry, got Aggies in the Family. Only Obama supporters go to UT!  True. UTAustin is very, very liberal. They also have a law school that cranks out trial lawyers like a clown car on fertility drugs. Their profs are over liberal and they produce enough liberal journalism majors each year to fill every job opening in the southwestern US. UTAustin is just another Berkley. Make fun of A&M, but the very pro-gun conservative governor of Texas is an Aggie. During WWII alone, 22,000 Aggies served in the US Army, 19,000 of them as officers. If you are pro-gun and conservative, A&M is your kind of university. Tech, honestly, isn't too bad. UTAustin, however, is the epitome of big government liberalism. |
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Damn, I miss the South West Confernce (except for Arkansas) I remember the big stink the first year Univ of Houston was allowed in the SWC and damn if they didn't win the championship. The Cotton Bowl committee was pissed and a reporter caught one of the committee members bitching about UofH winning the SWC and coming to the Cotton Bowl. Refering to the low rent and low class alumni of the U of H and how Dallas would lose money he said "half of them will be eating at the 7-11 and the other half will be holding it up." Probably true but it sure started some shit. It's been decades since UHouston, aka Cougar High, has fielded a football team of any consequence. |
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Unbelievable.
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What is an aggie? An Aggie is a current or former student of Texas A&M University, the finest educational institution in Texas, and the most conservative by far I might add as well. Some like to poke fun at us because they have to live with the fact that they made the poor decision not to go there or couldn't get in. We take it all in stride though Don't forget they alo went to the chicken ranch looking for roosters.
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