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Posted: Today 12:56:49 PM EDT
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Friends or romantic are we all just looking for what's in it for us? Personally I just want to be left alone and I try to treat others the same way. Your thoughts? |
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Maybe between adults, either in a romantic relationship, or at a place of work, those could be considered transactional. However, I think that parental relationships should be about what is best for your child, not necessarily what you as a parent can get out of it, beyond maybe a sense of pride. |
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If you had always had always wanted to go to Europe, visit the Louvre, see the Big Ben in London, go see some castles in Germany, see the Swiss Alps and eat chocolate. Would you be content to do it alone? The most delicious meal, meticulously prepared, at a table for one? It's a scene we often see in movies, emphasizing an emptiness. Some of life is about sharing it with others. Maybe it's just wanting someone to share in your achievements and validate you, but I'm not a social person. I want that one right person to be with and share a connection. |
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People bring this up as if it's a bad thing. The fact that relationships have a transactional component doesn't mean it's "what's in it for me". With that said, yes, every single one of us have certain expectations from every relationship we have.
We have expecations of our spouses. If they don't meet them, then there's varying levels of trouble coming. We have expectations of our friends. If they don't meet them, then eventually they are no longer friends. Those expectations also come with obligations from us to them as well, in order to mee their expectations. The best relationships have common ground between expectations and obligations to each other. |
Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer
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Originally Posted By Explorer225: Friends or romantic are we all just looking for what's in it for us? Personally I just want to be left alone and I try to treat others the same way. Your thoughts? Yes probably. If I enjoy spending time around friends so I spend time with them, then yeah but I dont think enjoying being around people is like abnormal. |
Decadence is no longer morally acceptable.
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Perhaps.  Be Consciously Transactional. Why Every Relationship is Transactional But don’t think that it’s a free pass to be a dick. |
Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague.
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That would be dogmatic and therefore WRONG. This is how you end up with views like Race Politics |
Live your life as you would wish to have lived, when you come to die. Confucius
When words lose their meaning, a people can move neither hand nor foot. Confucius
When words lose their meaning, a people can move neither hand nor foot. Confucius
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Originally Posted By Explorer225: Friends or romantic are we all just looking for what's in it for us? Personally I just want to be left alone and I try to treat others the same way. Your thoughts? That’s my experience. I quit drinking, quit hearing from my friends. Lonely friend finally got a gf, quit hearing from him. Etc, etc. This has jaded me, because I see how things are, and am becoming the same. If someone has nothing to offer, I no longer waste my time. I used to go above and beyond for people. |
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Originally Posted By Predicament: Maybe between adults, either in a romantic relationship, or at a place of work, those could be considered transactional. However, I think that parental relationships should be about what is best for your child, not necessarily what you as a parent can get out of it, beyond maybe a sense of pride. Before modern progressive women turned sex into a bargain chip or a reward system, relationships were still transactional to some extent, because you needed each other to basically survive. One kept the kids alive, the other worked until the kids were old enough to help out both sides. Now that women are independent and life has become so much easier (with huge social safety nets in terms of insurance, child rearing: think "public school" and healthcare), relationships have become optional as neither side really needs the other. So you're either religious and/or want a family, or you want safe access to intimacy. But ultimately in our culture sex is not saved for your life partner, it's something to be used for attention, validation, or to "reward" your partner for something. So even sex has lost it's real value for a lot of people. Unfortunately, on the other foot: a relationship with your own kids should always be about love and what's best for raising them into good adults - but those other factors bleed into this arena as well. So now kids are almost a lifestyle accessory, which is why I think it's so easy for women to see abortion as a convenience, and working to pay other people to raise your kids as a good trade-off for actually showing up as a parent. There are still good marriages and great parents out there, it's just not encouraged or appreciated in modern media. Every car commercial has the strong independent woman driving; kids are just when mom get's home, and dad is optional. After all, we have our careers to worry about! |
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This one wants me to put food in the bowl. Attached File This one wants me to throw the ball. Attached File This one wants me to go to lunch with her. Attached File 
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Strive to carry the handgun you would want anywhere, everywhere; forget that good area bullcrap.
"Wouldn't want to / Nobody volunteer to" get shot by _____ is not indicative of quickly incapacitating.
"Wouldn't want to / Nobody volunteer to" get shot by _____ is not indicative of quickly incapacitating.
