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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Arfcom confessional! (Page 1 of 5)

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12/7/2007 7:51:40 PM EDT
Drop a dirty secret here, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!
I used to bang married women for sport. 9 of em as of last count, but I'm a good boy now.  That shit is dangerous.
12/7/2007 7:53:31 PM EDT
[#1]
I'm a regular angel now as compared to 10 years ago.

I still keep one foot in hell though.
12/7/2007 7:53:49 PM EDT
[#2]
I prefer AKs.
12/7/2007 7:55:02 PM EDT
[#3]
I used to bang long-haul truckers for sport, but I quit after I put my back out carrying that last TV that 'fell off the truck' to the car.
12/7/2007 7:56:59 PM EDT
[#4]
Wow no one can top Dusty's confession. Eeek!

All of my confessions would just involve food.  I'm a glutton.  I keep it private though, cooking at home not going to restaurants.
12/7/2007 7:57:31 PM EDT
[#5]
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.
12/7/2007 7:57:48 PM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:
I prefer AKs.


U  too?
12/7/2007 7:58:50 PM EDT
[#7]
I have never changed my avatar.
12/7/2007 7:59:26 PM EDT
[#8]

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. I did earn my CB handle though.  It's "tweeder" I got it cause I was at a friends house one day and looked into my pants and had a genuine "what...the...fuck... is that?" moment.  Turned out it was a meerkat so everything is ok.
12/7/2007 8:00:22 PM EDT
[#9]

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.


That was you?

Fuckin Lot-lizards
12/7/2007 8:00:32 PM EDT
[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I prefer AKs.


U  too?


Don't tell.  This is confession, right?

I also have socialist tendencies in some areas.  Luckily, my desire to rule the world as dictator overrides that nonsense though.

I hate puppies.  

Anyone need a puppy?
12/7/2007 8:00:50 PM EDT
[#11]
I'm trying to prove I can install a screen door on a submarine

Uhhhh NOT....

Open season on Hollywierd misfits...
12/7/2007 8:01:29 PM EDT
[#12]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. .


Wanna bet?
12/7/2007 8:02:42 PM EDT
[#13]
I lik wearing panties
on my head, BITCHES!
12/7/2007 8:03:01 PM EDT
[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. .


Wanna bet?


Sex with Pangy baby ain't about teh aids, it's the smell I can't stand.
12/7/2007 8:03:28 PM EDT
[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. .


Wanna bet?
oh shit.  Oh fuck man that was fucked up, you owe me a new monitor
12/7/2007 8:04:01 PM EDT
[#16]

Quoted:
Drop a dirty secret here, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!
I used to bang married women for sport. 9 of em as of last count, but I'm a good boy now.  That shit is dangerous.


Thats shows that you got no game.  Married women looking for trouble are the ones that hit on the guy standing by himself at the bar.  (Don't ask me how I know...)
12/7/2007 8:04:50 PM EDT
[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. .


Wanna bet?


Sex with Pangy baby ain't about teh aids, it's the smell I can't stand.


The thing that Mr Clean Fo hates the most about having sex is cleaning all of the shit and blood out of the crack of his ass.
12/7/2007 8:05:41 PM EDT
[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Drop a dirty secret here, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!
I used to bang married women for sport. 9 of em as of last count, but I'm a good boy now.  That shit is dangerous.


Thats shows that you got no game.  Married women looking for trouble are the ones that hit on the guy standing by himself at the bar.  (Don't ask me how I know...)
Who cares, I was getting no strings poon.    Seriously though. The last time I banged a married chick was like a year ago.  That shit ain't cool
12/7/2007 8:05:43 PM EDT
[#19]
I partied so hard in the '80's that I don't remember most of what I did that whole decade.

What I do remember is not suitable for posting on the internet...
12/7/2007 8:06:47 PM EDT
[#20]
I cheated on a girl once, and her older brother walked in on me in the act.
12/7/2007 8:07:01 PM EDT
[#21]
I once outran a cop who was going to give me a speeding ticket.  
12/7/2007 8:07:11 PM EDT
[#22]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Drop a dirty secret here, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!
I used to bang married women for sport. 9 of em as of last count, but I'm a good boy now.  That shit is dangerous.


Thats shows that you got no game.  Married women looking for trouble are the ones that hit on the guy standing by himself at the bar.  (Don't ask me how I know...)


+1  No more married women for me either!
12/7/2007 8:07:13 PM EDT
[#23]
I had a son with my sister...



We left him at a truck stop in Arkansas.
12/7/2007 8:07:32 PM EDT
[#24]

Quoted:
I cheated on a girl once, and her older brother walked in on me in the act.
OH SHIT, this needs more details.
12/7/2007 8:09:20 PM EDT
[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:

Quoted:
I used to dress up as a woman and claim that I was married just to have taboo sex with truck drivers from Arkansas.

I have aids
j/k I really don't. .


Wanna bet?


Sex with Pangy baby ain't about teh aids, it's the smell I can't stand.


The thing that Mr Clean Fo hates the most about having sex is cleaning all of the shit and blood out of the crack of his ass.


I have the AK of asses, no cleaning needed.

p.s. thanks for the reach around, I'll return the favor when you have your penal implant.
12/7/2007 8:10:13 PM EDT
[#26]
Ummm, I used to fuck the wife of a congressional legal adviser...  Fmr legal adviser in the department of energy, fmr lobbyist, current legal adviser to a congressman...

Well, till his stupid wife forgot to hang-up the other line and his cell phone recorded a nice bout of phone sex which included some anal insertion on her end...

Him hearing the recorded voice mail and rolling around in the middle of street in D.C. until someone called EMS kinda put the kabosh on that..........

-V
12/7/2007 8:10:55 PM EDT
[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I cheated on a girl once, and her older brother walked in on me in the act.
OH SHIT, this needs more details.


If this happened in TX, I say that there was threat of bodily harm.

If it was in OK, I say that big bro asked to join in.
12/7/2007 8:11:48 PM EDT
[#28]
I hurt someone's feelings one time.
12/7/2007 8:13:46 PM EDT
[#29]
Well a number of years ago while I was married to my first wife, I wrecked a rental car (i had no business being in) several hundred miles away from where I was susposed to be, while I was with someone I had no business being with btw I was about half drunk and had been for days. When it all shook out I walked away unscathed. Two Troopers from the Utah Highway Patrol gave me one of the best breaks I ever got in my life..
Thanks Guys.
12/7/2007 8:13:58 PM EDT
[#30]

Quoted:
I hurt someone's feelings one time.


It's okay, Jesus.  You can put your hand down now.
12/7/2007 8:19:55 PM EDT
[#31]
As I admitted in my first post here on ARFCOM, I was a political advisor with regular access to Jimmy Carter during his Presidency.
12/7/2007 8:21:45 PM EDT
[#32]

Quoted:
As I admitted in my first post here on ARFCOM, I was a political advisor with regular access to Jimmy Carter during his Presidency.


And didn't take the shot opportunity to tell him that he is a douche.
12/7/2007 8:31:59 PM EDT
[#33]

Quoted:

Quoted:
As I admitted in my first post here on ARFCOM, I was a political advisor with regular access to Jimmy Carter during his Presidency.


And didn't take the shot opportunity to tell him that he is a douche.


Actually he was a decent, rational, human being back then; not the bitter mental case he is today.

Unfortunately he didn't understand the power of the Presidency, nor the necessity to apply it when called for.

I was with him when he was informed that the Iranians took our embassy hostage; his first thought was that he needed to handle the situation in a way that ensured that noone, American or Iranian, would be killed or injured and was planning to make an immediate statement to that effect.

I was always able to speak my mind with him and told him that I believed that it was a bad idea to proceed in that manner.

The yes men won out and the rest is history.

12/7/2007 8:40:16 PM EDT
[#34]
I am boring and like it that way.

I love to make people laugh. If I didn't have stage fright I'd be a stand up comedian.

I can't wait for my libido to peter out (pun intended) so I can stop arguing with my wife about sex.
1/11/2008 9:06:41 AM EDT
[#35]
... Proudly proclaiming: I used to be a hippie many years ago

I had forgotten about it, until I saw a special on them on the Discovery Channel©
1/11/2008 9:10:10 AM EDT
[#36]

Quoted:
... Proudly proclaiming: I used to be a hippie many years ago

I had forgotten about it, until I saw a special on them on the Discovery Channel©
Dude, I think you were a hippie last time this thread was active
1/11/2008 9:15:15 AM EDT
[#37]

I masturbated while I was supposed to guard the royal familys residence in Stockholm.
In my defence I have to point out that I had been out there for hours and was bored.
1/11/2008 9:17:08 AM EDT
[#38]
I touch my selfyoutube.com/watch?v=zTneO6UgRuM
1/11/2008 9:19:13 AM EDT
[#39]
I listen to John Denver.


Regularly.
1/11/2008 9:34:44 AM EDT
[#40]
I conspicuously browse Arfcom during college classes in hopes I'm going to out other Arfcommers after they read over my shoulder.

I also once set my background image to change automatically every 30 minutes. I neglected to specify a folder from which the images should come. Halfway through a class, it switched to a "for home consumption only" type picture. Of myself. WHOOPS. I slammed my laptop shut quite fast... but the guy behind me had a grin on his face for the rest of class, so I'm pretty sure he saw it.

ETA: FUCKING SHIT! Right after I posted this, I accidentally moused over the "hot corner" of my screen that activates Exposé... for you non-Mac-users, that's a little feature that whisks everything you're viewing off your screen, to expose your desktop. I forgot I had it set to Oleg Volk's latest "near-nekkid chick with a gun" picture.

Whelp, chalk up two new classmates thinking I'm a lesbian...
1/11/2008 9:36:54 AM EDT
[#41]

Quoted:
I listen to John Denver.


Regularly.


Nothing wrong with that! His voice takes me back to when I was a kid.
1/11/2008 9:37:46 AM EDT
[#42]
I like Barry Manilow, Enya, and Yanni.

The line to take my Man Card starts over there. Bring lots of ammo. You'll need it.
1/11/2008 9:40:59 AM EDT
[#43]
I am bi but perfer women.  Every now and then some good gay sex hits the spot.
1/11/2008 9:41:25 AM EDT
[#44]
Alright as long as we're talking music... I just bought Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" the other day.

For myself.

Because she's got a good voice.

(FWIW it's not recorded very well... They kept processing her voice )

A bit of trivia: Chantal Kraviaczuk (sp?) wrote two of the songs on the disc. Honestly, I'd rather hear new material from Chantal, but good on her for making some money off a couple of good songs.

My wife will not allow you to take my Man Card away.

Edit: And I have a toy poodle too. I know I'm bucking the odds here as a straight guy admitting these things but hey, it's a confessional thread.
1/11/2008 9:43:36 AM EDT
[#45]
I am a mere shadow of the man I once was....
1/11/2008 9:44:01 AM EDT
[#46]

Quoted:
I like Barry Manilow, Enya, and Yanni.

The line to take my Man Card starts over there. Bring lots of ammo. You'll need it.
I like Enya a lot too  And Sarah Mclachlan.




Sarah:

1/11/2008 9:46:08 AM EDT
[#47]

Quoted:
I masturbated while I was supposed to guard the royal familys residence in Stockholm.
In my defence I have to point out that I had been out there for hours and was bored.




THANKS! Now I have to stop reading this thread in class, because I'm laughing and people are staring.
1/11/2008 9:51:37 AM EDT
[#48]
I have a Springfield Model 87A.
1/11/2008 9:52:30 AM EDT
[#49]
I had my first sexual experiance when I was twelve years old, but I didn't have a partner until I was sixteen.

Shootist
1/11/2008 9:58:12 AM EDT
[#50]
This one time in band camp................................
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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Arfcom confessional! (Page 1 of 5)