Posted: 6/16/2003 5:05:16 PM EDT
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Since my last army, marines thread died a horrible death let me tell you how I really feel. A NC State motivational reasearcher went to Ft. Benning to study the motivation of the Army Rangers. He went out on a mission with one and was amazed at the motivation as he climbed hills, swam rivers and packed all the equipment. Through all the hardship the Ranger would sing "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!" The researcher thought "I wonder if he will have all that motivation if I take half his brain away". Out with the machete and he chops half the Ranger's brain away. "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!" Amazing thought the researcher. Out with the machete and "CHOP!" now the Ranger only has a quarter of his brain. "I wanna be an Airborne Ranger!" Still amazed the researcher cut away all the Ranger's brain except a very small little bit that just controlled the autonomous functions. The Ranger stood still for a second than began singing "From the Halls of Montezuma, to the Shores of Tripoli!" |
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Three generals and an admiral were debating who had the bravest men. The Admiral said, my navy SEALs are the bravest men, bar none. He called a SEAL forward, and ordered him to run into the nearby ocean, and drown himself. The SEAL complied, and of course, died. The Admiral stated "My sailors are the bravest men around." The Marine Corps general said that his Marines were of course, braver. He called a Recon Marine forward. The sharp-looking Marine received orders from the General to throw himself on a live grenade, which the Marine Cheerfully and promptly did, evicerating himself. The General stated "My Marines are the bravest men around." The Air Force General He called a Para Rescueman forward, and ordered him to board a nearby helicopter, go to about 500 feet, and jump without a parachute. The Para Rescueman complied, and of course, died. The General stated "My Airmen are the bravest men around." The Army General looked around and found the scruffiest-looking yardbird of a grunt he could find. The soldier appeared to hung over, was unshaven and his uniform was a mess. He called the sullen, sloppy excuse for a soldier forward. "Soldier," he bellowed, I want you to run into the ocean and drown yourself." Without hesistation, the soldier replied, "You can get bent." The General, becoming angered, continued, "Okay then. Blow youself up with a grenade." "Go to Hell, you old bastard!" the soldier shouted back. "All right, be insubordinate," the General responded. "Instead, go up in that helicopter to about 500 feet, and jump without a parachute, and that is an order, from a general, which I expect you to obey." "Well General," the soldier replied, "you can go f--k yourself, and so can these three idiots standing here with you." "Gentleman," the General addressed to his flag-rank three companions, "I present to you the bravest fighting man in the US Armed forces." |
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Inter-service jokes will and have always been an integral part of comeraderie. As such, I will contribute one of my own: [b]Here's my favorite (brace yourselves, Jarheads):[/b] A little boy walks into a bar one afternoon, and asks for a glass of water. The bartender gives him one. Just then, the boy notices a sailor seated at the bar. "Wow, are you a real sailor?" the little boy asks. "Sure am." replies the sailor. "Would you like to wear my hat?" "Gee thanks, sailor." and the little boy takes the hat and runs around the bar for 15 minutes playing sailor. He returns the hat to the sailor and gets another drink of water. Just then, an airman walks into the bar. "Wow, are you really in the Air Force?" asks the little boy. "You bet, would you like to wear my hat"? "Gee, thanks, mister" and the little boy runs off flapping his arms for 15 minutes. The little boy returns the hat and gets another drink of water. Just then, a marine walks into the bar. "Wow, are you really a marine?" "That I am, son. Would you like to wear my hat." replies the marine, very proudly. "Alllright!" says the boy, and he runs off to play marine. After drinking all that water, the boy has to pee. He walks into the restroom and sees a clearly drunk and dishevled Army Ranger barely standing at the urinal. "Wow! A real Army Ranger! Can I wear your hat?" The drunk and unsteady Ranger squints his eyes, looks at the boy and says, "Hey, kid, SUCK MY DICK." And the little boy says ... "Oh, I'm not a real Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!" |
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Good God gents.... Haven't we ALL heard these tired jokes before, except with the services switched around to benefit a particular audience? Here's my favorite: What do the following two images have in common?: A)[img]http://www.defenselink.mil/specials/ribbons/Graphics/Army/ArmySrvRibbon1.jpg[/img] B)[img]http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030615/capt.1055713664.gay_flag_flan106.jpg[/img] Answer: Quite alot. |