Posted: 12/31/2008 3:04:50 AM EDT
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I have a 14 month old daughter and lately she's been waking up and in the middle of the night and we can't get her back down no matter what my wife and I do. We've been through teething, colic, gas pain, and a cold and always managed to get her down before. Now it takes us over an hour to get her asleep again.
She starts around 0300-0400. Sometimes she is all happy to see us when we try to get her back to sleep and others she just keeps crying after we get her calmed down. We check her from stem to stern to see if shes wet, poopy, hungry, feverish, etc. She seems in good order but she won't go back to sleep. My wife has also noted that since we moved in town in July after I got out of the Air Force our daughter has been doing this. My wife contends the baby was sleeping all night before we moved. I don't have much of a frame of reference on that because I was overseas for the first seven months of her life. Do any of you Moms and Dads have any tips or insight as to why she's having these midnight interludes and what we can do to help her sleep all the way through the night? Anything you can offer would be greatly appreciated. A happy baby and an even happier wife would make my life alot easier. 
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My son did that.
At 3 1/2 years old, he wound up in an OR getting his tonsils and adenoids removed. Sleep apnea 
My boy rarely slept thru the nite prior to that, though...but watch her for snoring and sleep interruption (we videoed my boy because initially, the doc said we were "overprotective" parents who were "spoiling" him by going to him in the middle of the night.
Other than that, I got nothing...too young for "night terrors." |
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Is there something on the clothing, bed that irritating her? Tags, nylon thread? New brand of diaper or size of diaper not fitting well?
Too much or too little light in the room? Recent change in diet? Formula or milk? Our 6 mo old got upset stomach when we tried to add meat to his diet. |
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I have a 14 month old daughter and lately she's been waking up and in the middle of the night and we can't get her back down no matter what my wife and I do. We've been through teething, colic, gas pain, and a cold and always managed to get her down before. Now it takes us over an hour to get her asleep again. She starts around 0300-0400. Sometimes she is all happy to see us when we try to get her back to sleep and others she just keeps crying after we get her calmed down. We check her from stem to stern to see if shes wet, poopy, hungry, feverish, etc. She seems in good order but she won't go back to sleep. My wife has also noted that since we moved in town in July after I got out of the Air Force our daughter has been doing this. My wife contends the baby was sleeping all night before we moved. I don't have much of a frame of reference on that because I was overseas for the first seven months of her life. Do any of you Moms and Dads have any tips or insight as to why she's having these midnight interludes and what we can do to help her sleep all the way through the night? Anything you can offer would be greatly appreciated. A happy baby and an even happier wife would make my life alot easier. So she's been at it since July? My kids are 14 and 10 now so it's hard to think back that far. My wife is a pediatric nurse so if you have specific questions hit me up and I'll ask her. Is there someone where you live that maybe works nights or something? Like you've got someone who comes home from work or leaves for work at that time? Could be car door slamming or something that she can hear from her room waking her up? Have you tried getting one of those noise machines? You know the ones that will play various sounds like ocean waves, rainfall, soft lullaby music, etc. Helps block out outside disturbances. |
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Is it too quiet? Was the baby used to the sounds of on-base activity / aircraft? Our little girl had trouble adjusting when we moved to a quieter environment. Thanks for all the replies thus far, I was stationed at Nellis AFB, NV. "The Home of the Fighter Pilot." We had sorties generating all the time. She loved to watch the jets. We also have some degree of movement around our place such as the garbage men emptying the dumpster down the street. Our neighbors as far as I can tell are all day shifters. My wife also noted that the baby is worse while I work at night and usually sleeps better on my days off. She does snore so that might be something there, we'll get her in for a consult with the Doc on this. One thing my wife just pointed out is that the baby will sometimes greet her with a resounding "Hi Momma!" When she comes in to quiet her down. My poor wife is about at her wits end with this. She's up all day with the baby, does her school work at night when the baby does sleep and runs this household and maintains a 3.5 GPA all the while. Shes a real soldier but I can tell this is taking a real toll on her. |
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Ok, I have 3 kids 8, 5, and 2 and all are fantastic sleepers. After comparing notes with many of our friends who don't have kids who sleep, we concluded that good sleepers are trained, not born.
If this was one of my kids, I would do all of the checks you are doing (quickly though), then assuming all is well put her back down, turn out the lights, close the door, and leave the room for 15 minutes. If she is still crying in 15 minutes, do the checks again, then give it 20 minutes. Keep lengthening the time between checks, and she will eventually fall asleep. If you do this every night, the behavior will go away. It is a very natural instinct for the parent, and especially the mother, to want to cradle and soothe the child if she is upset. However, in this case, that action typically reinforces a behavior and makes it much more difficult to get the child to sleep. My role as dad at these times was always to be the more rational and disciplined one, and now our kids can sleep through anything (including, apparently, the need to take a leak in the middle of the night). YMMV Good luck! |
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Is it too quiet? Was the baby used to the sounds of on-base activity / aircraft? Our little girl had trouble adjusting when we moved to a quieter environment. Thanks for all the replies thus far, I was stationed at Nellis AFB, NV. "The Home of the Fighter Pilot." We had sorties generating all the time. She loved to watch the jets. We also have some degree of movement around our place such as the garbage men emptying the dumpster down the street. Our neighbors as far as I can tell are all day shifters. My wife also noted that the baby is worse while I work at night and usually sleeps better on my days off. She does snore so that might be something there, we'll get her in for a consult with the Doc on this. One thing my wife just pointed out is that the baby will sometimes greet her with a resounding "Hi Momma!" When she comes in to quiet her down. My poor wife is about at her wits end with this. She's up all day with the baby, does her school work at night when the baby does sleep and runs this household and maintains a 3.5 GPA all the while. Shes a real soldier but I can tell this is taking a real toll on her. The "Hi Momma!" definitely indicates positive reinforcement to a behavior (not a child psychologist, did not stay at Holiday Inn Express last night) |
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Quoted:
Is it too quiet? Was the baby used to the sounds of on-base activity / aircraft? Our little girl had trouble adjusting when we moved to a quieter environment. Thanks for all the replies thus far, I was stationed at Nellis AFB, NV. "The Home of the Fighter Pilot." We had sorties generating all the time. She loved to watch the jets. We also have some degree of movement around our place such as the garbage men emptying the dumpster down the street. Our neighbors as far as I can tell are all day shifters. My wife also noted that the baby is worse while I work at night and usually sleeps better on my days off. She does snore so that might be something there, we'll get her in for a consult with the Doc on this. One thing my wife just pointed out is that the baby will sometimes greet her with a resounding "Hi Momma!" When she comes in to quiet her down. My poor wife is about at her wits end with this. She's up all day with the baby, does her school work at night when the baby does sleep and runs this household and maintains a 3.5 GPA all the while. Shes a real soldier but I can tell this is taking a real toll on her. Snoring, check it out for sure. My youngest would snore, and then kinda snorkle and have issues breathing properly, once he had his adnoids and tonsils taken out and he much better for it. If you go that route try to find out about the pediatric surgeons. Some are better than others (not that they are bad, but some surgeons have more finesse and recovery time is quicker). Maybe it's just that my wife is in PACU and sees the kids right after surgery. If you were in Atlanta, Beautiful Nurse Hilary™ could give you the lowdown of who to see. +1 on the check on her, leave, wait, check again, leave, wait longer, etc. |
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Ok, I have 3 kids 8, 5, and 2 and all are fantastic sleepers. After comparing notes with many of our friends who don't have kids who sleep, we concluded that good sleepers are trained, not born. If this was one of my kids, I would do all of the checks you are doing (quickly though), then assuming all is well put her back down, turn out the lights, close the door, and leave the room for 15 minutes. If she is still crying in 15 minutes, do the checks again, then give it 20 minutes. Keep lengthening the time between checks, and she will eventually fall asleep. If you do this every night, the behavior will go away. It is a very natural instinct for the parent, and especially the mother, to want to cradle and soothe the child if she is upset. However, in this case, that action typically reinforces a behavior and makes it much more difficult to get the child to sleep. My role as dad at these times was always to be the more rational and disciplined one, and now our kids can sleep through anything (including, apparently, the need to take a leak in the middle of the night). YMMV Good luck! +1 I have a 7 month old, 3 year, 5 year, 8 year and 20 year old (from a youthful indiscretion) If they are well fed, clean, not sick, and not in any pain then let them cry. We went so far with our 8 year old as to have my wife sleep in our vehicle in the drive way. She could not sleep if she could hear the baby cry. We would do the checks. If all was well in the crib she went. I would set an alarm for 2 hours. If then the baby was crying I would call the wife with a walky-talky. She would come in feed the baby (breastfeed) then I would do the checks while my wife went back outside. I would reset the alarm..................... This only lasted a few nights. Not sure now how long more than 3 less than 7. Then the baby slept "like a baby". All the others were treated the same. They all got into the swing of things much quicker. We have a friend from church relayed an incident that happened to her and her mother when she was an infant. Her mother was involved with a breastfeeding group that believed if the baby was crying it needed to nurse. Long story short, She wound up nursing for 23 hours strait before she finally lost it. Do not set your self up for failure. Aaron |
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Ok, I have 3 kids 8, 5, and 2 and all are fantastic sleepers. After comparing notes with many of our friends who don't have kids who sleep, we concluded that good sleepers are trained, not born. If this was one of my kids, I would do all of the checks you are doing (quickly though), then assuming all is well put her back down, turn out the lights, close the door, and leave the room for 15 minutes. If she is still crying in 15 minutes, do the checks again, then give it 20 minutes. Keep lengthening the time between checks, and she will eventually fall asleep. If you do this every night, the behavior will go away. It is a very natural instinct for the parent, and especially the mother, to want to cradle and soothe the child if she is upset. However, in this case, that action typically reinforces a behavior and makes it much more difficult to get the child to sleep. My role as dad at these times was always to be the more rational and disciplined one, and now our kids can sleep through anything (including, apparently, the need to take a leak in the middle of the night). YMMV Good luck! +1 I have a 7 month old, 3 year, 5 year, 8 year and 20 year old (from a youthful indiscretion) If they are well fed, clean, not sick, and not in any pain then let them cry. We went so far with our 8 year old as to have my wife sleep in our vehicle in the drive way. She could not sleep if she could hear the baby cry. We would do the checks. If all was well in the crib she went. I would set an alarm for 2 hours. If then the baby was crying I would call the wife with a walky-talky. She would come in feed the baby (breastfeed) then I would do the checks while my wife went back outside. I would reset the alarm..................... This only lasted a few nights. Not sure now how long more than 3 less than 7. Then the baby slept "like a baby". All the others were treated the same. They all got into the swing of things much quicker. We have a friend from church relayed an incident that happened to her and her mother when she was an infant. Her mother was involved with a breastfeeding group that believed if the baby was crying it needed to nurse. Long story short, She wound up nursing for 23 hours strait before she finally lost it. Do not set your self up for failure. Aaron I can relate to a lot of your story, definitely helps when the dad is willing and able to do some of this overnight work. 23 hours straight...wow... |
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I'd definitely see a doctor about the snoring. You could also try a white noise machine or some very soft music playing in her room. My oldest son wouldn't sleep without music for a long time. Now that he is 8, if he gets sick or upset, he still requests music while he sleeps. It might also help to put her down an hour later for a night or 2, just to mix up the routine and see if she will sleep better if she is more tired.
Good luck. |
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I'd definitely see a doctor about the snoring. You could also try a white noise machine or some very soft music playing in her room. My oldest son wouldn't sleep without music for a long time. Now that he is 8, if he gets sick or upset, he still requests music while he sleeps. It might also help to put her down an hour later for a night or 2, just to mix up the routine and see if she will sleep better if she is more tired. Good luck. See my above post...this is a big indicator of issues with apnea. My Devin would rarely sleep thru the nite...when he did, it was due to pure exhaustion. It wasn't until one particular lucid moment for us that I realized his breathing was stopping intermittently causing him to wake. When I mentioned it to the doc, he shrugged it off. Then I video taped him and he did a soft tissue study of his neck: awake and upright, his airway was 90% occluded. Poor kid was suffocating! They scheduled him for surgery within 24 hours. IMHO, sleep disturbances account for alot of issues: appetite, behavior, education. Let's face it...mom and dad cannot handle the lack of sleep...neither can the kid. Don't be afraid to ask for a soft tissue study x-ray of the neck. |
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Definitely get the snoring checked out.
I am not a fan of letting them cry, it's just not my parenting style. I'm from the Attachment Parenting camp - baby wearing, extended breast-feeding, co-sleeping, etc. If this is more your style, I would recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She covers all kinds of situations: breastfeeding, bottle feeding, co-sleeping, crib sleeping, and various ages. |
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D- Charlie does this to me once in a while and if I put him down later or make him nap during the day it helps him tire more quickly at night. It's weird I know.
If nothing else is wrong then maybe just let her cry for 10 minutes. Charlie wakes himself sometimes and if I let him cry he goes right back to sleep. Few times Animus actually got up with him when I crashed and I had to rock him back to sleep. He even experienced night terrors, or so we thought. All I could do was hold him until he calmed down. I know momma is drained but it's worse if you fight it. 
If she isn't crying let her just talk to her animals and maybe she will nodd off again. I tell him not to mess with Charlie unless he is crying b/c it stimulates them and they wake up more. ETA: I noticed if I tell him what is going to happen it calms him down more instead of pleading for him to do what I want. It happened with us when we moved also. It was much quieter on this side of Nellis than the other. |
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Is it too quiet? Was the baby used to the sounds of on-base activity / aircraft? Our little girl had trouble adjusting when we moved to a quieter environment. Thanks for all the replies thus far, I was stationed at Nellis AFB, NV. "The Home of the Fighter Pilot." We had sorties generating all the time. She loved to watch the jets. We also have some degree of movement around our place such as the garbage men emptying the dumpster down the street. Our neighbors as far as I can tell are all day shifters. My wife also noted that the baby is worse while I work at night and usually sleeps better on my days off. She does snore so that might be something there, we'll get her in for a consult with the Doc on this. One thing my wife just pointed out is that the baby will sometimes greet her with a resounding "Hi Momma!" When she comes in to quiet her down. My poor wife is about at her wits end with this. She's up all day with the baby, does her school work at night when the baby does sleep and runs this household and maintains a 3.5 GPA all the while. Shes a real soldier but I can tell this is taking a real toll on her. Could it be that the the baby is taking naps during the day when you are not there and when you are there you guys are busy and there are no naps? |
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D- Charlie does this to me once in a while and if I put him down later or make him nap during the day it helps him tire more quickly at night. It's weird I know. If nothing else is wrong then maybe just let her cry for 10 minutes. Charlie wakes himself sometimes and if I let him cry he goes right back to sleep. Few times Animus actually got up with him when I crashed and I had to rock him back to sleep. He even experienced night terrors, or so we thought. All I could do was hold him until he calmed down. I know momma is drained but it's worse if you fight it. 
If she isn't crying let her just talk to her animals and maybe she will nodd off again. I tell him not to mess with Charlie unless he is crying b/c it stimulates them and they wake up more. ETA: I noticed if I tell him what is going to happen it calms him down more instead of pleading for him to do what I want. It happened with us when we moved also. It was much quieter on this side of Nellis than the other. We've cut the naps down to one during the day when she just hits her wall. At night we'll hear her wank a bit and then she goes back out. Sometimes I've heard her up playing with her babies and then it gets quiet but the last few nights she just goes ape shit. We do the check to make sure shes ok, reposition, butt patt, and cover her back up. Within a few minutes shes wound up again. We wait for 10 to 15 minutes and go back in if shes still going. Her molars are coming in and shes a bit stuffed up so I think that may be playing a part in it. This kind of goes in cycles but the last few nights were worse than before. Last night Mrs. DefensorFortis had her settled down after a couple of trips to her room. Hopefully this phase will pass and I have a happy Momma in the house again.
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D- Charlie does this to me once in a while and if I put him down later or make him nap during the day it helps him tire more quickly at night. It's weird I know. If nothing else is wrong then maybe just let her cry for 10 minutes. Charlie wakes himself sometimes and if I let him cry he goes right back to sleep. Few times Animus actually got up with him when I crashed and I had to rock him back to sleep. He even experienced night terrors, or so we thought. All I could do was hold him until he calmed down. I know momma is drained but it's worse if you fight it.
If she isn't crying let her just talk to her animals and maybe she will nodd off again. I tell him not to mess with Charlie unless he is crying b/c it stimulates them and they wake up more. ETA: I noticed if I tell him what is going to happen it calms him down more instead of pleading for him to do what I want. It happened with us when we moved also. It was much quieter on this side of Nellis than the other. We've cut the naps down to one during the day when she just hits her wall. At night we'll hear her wank a bit and then she goes back out. Sometimes I've heard her up playing with her babies and then it gets quiet but the last few nights she just goes ape shit. We do the check to make sure shes ok, reposition, butt patt, and cover her back up. Within a few minutes shes wound up again. We wait for 10 to 15 minutes and go back in if shes still going. Her molars are coming in and shes a bit stuffed up so I think that may be playing a part in it. This kind of goes in cycles but the last few nights were worse than before. Last night Mrs. DefensorFortis had her settled down after a couple of trips to her room. Hopefully this phase will pass and I have a happy Momma in the house again.
lol..Charlie is finally sleeping through the night and doesn't fight when it's bedtime..He only wakes up when he isn't feeling well. If she is stuffy try vapor rub on her feet with socks or the vapor plug in..Her molars are the problem so maybe try tylenol before bed. I have to force Charlie to take it but he sleeps through it usually. I usually rock him to sleep or sleep on the couch with him when this happens and he does better. |