Posted: 7/10/2008 8:27:27 PM EDT
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A blond is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. He tells her, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blond returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blond nods and answers, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asks the doctor. "No", replies the blond, "From all that skipping." 
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While we're on blonde jokes . . . A blond is speeding down the road when she sees police lights flashing behind her. She pulls over, and a blond policewoman walks up to her car. "Do you realize how fast you were going?" Asks the policewoman. "Not really." Responds the blonde. "Let me see your license." The blonde reaches into her purse and pulls out the first thing she finds, which happens to be a pocket mirror. The policewoman takes it and looks at it, and then says, "Oh, you can go ahead. I didn't realize you were a police officer!" ------------- Emergency vehicles drove up to the scene of a car accident. A brunette had crashed into the guardrail on a country road. The car was badly damaged, but the driver seemed to be in good condition. As the medics checked her out, a police officer asked her some questions. "What happened?" He asked. "I lost control after trying to avoid a bunch of trees, officer." "Tell me exactly what you were going when you lost control." "Well, I was just driving along, when suddenly this huge pine tree just appears out of nowhere in front of me. It was literally in the middle of the road. I swerved to miss it, but then there was another tree on that side of the road. So I swerved the other way, and there was a tree there. No matter where I went, there was a tree. I finally lost control and crashed." "Say," asked the officer, "You're not a natural brunette, are you?" "Why, no, I'm blond. Why?" "You were dodging your air freshener." |
