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I read somewhere that they would tie people to that tree to die a slow painful death.
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Quoted: I don't see longleaf pine fires devastating California. Eucalypts do similar things, but inhibit other plants growing near them with some other chemical shit. Our trees kill people and burn shit in countries that aren't even Australia. Also, you're welcome for burning California. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: lol thats cute Australian gumtrees were introduced into California. The idea was that gumtrees grow quick in shit, dry condition in Australia. So by introducing them to California, the similar shitty conditions would result in plenty of wood for building. Turns out, the wood is shit for building. Turns out, the trees catch fire really easily. May not have poisonous fruit and shit, but our flamey boi has definitely killed more and caused more damage/destruction than your sappy boi, both here and in California. The motherfuckers also drop huge branches and shit all the time, and fall over for no reason. A girl in my school died on a school camping trip due to getting crushed by a gumtree You realize our natural forest ecosystem is longleaf pine flatwoods. Those trees are adapted for causing forest fires in order to genocide any other trees that want to mess with them. Then they drop needles into the soil to poison it. They make the soil so acidic you can't grow anything in it, and all of the minerals leech out. Our trees will burn your trees alive and then starve their children to death. I don't see longleaf pine fires devastating California. Eucalypts do similar things, but inhibit other plants growing near them with some other chemical shit. Our trees kill people and burn shit in countries that aren't even Australia. Also, you're welcome for burning California. When you put it that way, thank you for your service, Australian firetrees. |
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But as the great equalizer, we have Florida Man (aka Flardaman)
Everything you can fit on that list, he can wrangle, kill, breed, eat, buy and sell, or at least has a tattoo of. His phone needs a charge, and his truck needs tires, but his generator starts, and he will never die of thirst. |
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Quoted: lol thats cute Australian gumtrees were introduced into California. The idea was that gumtrees grow quick in shit, dry condition in Australia. So by introducing them to California, the similar shitty conditions would result in plenty of wood for building. Turns out, the wood is shit for building. Turns out, the trees catch fire really easily. May not have poisonous fruit and shit, but our flamey boi has definitely killed more and caused more damage/destruction than your sappy boi, both here and in California. The motherfuckers also drop huge branches and shit all the time, and fall over for no reason. A girl in my school died on a school camping trip due to getting crushed by a gumtree View Quote A Møøse once bit my sister. |
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Quoted: Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. View Quote I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first. |
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Quoted: I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first. They keep rabies away. |
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Quoted: Banana Spiders are cuddly and just want to be petted. https://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f323/amgspimmy/heather-banana-spider.jpg They keep rabies away. https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/comp-1565268635.png View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first. https://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f323/amgspimmy/heather-banana-spider.jpg They keep rabies away. https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/comp-1565268635.png Ok. |
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Quoted: WAnne Ivy is the real deal, Grady Judd is the store brand imitation crab meat version. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Can agree Sheriff Judd is quite the cam whore, Wayne ivy is better in this regard and still unapologetic. There was a high profile police shooting with county officers where ivy gave the briefing. When one reporter asked why the officer fired so many rounds into the thug (who had just beaten another officer to the ground) his response was roughly, "you cannot kill evil too much" Eh, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a little tofu in Wayne, but I’m glad we have him instead of Judd. That said I like that florida has so many sheriffs willing to dispel on camera the myth of the noble villian and stand up for their officers. we’ve probably avoided a lot of BLM riots thanks to that. |
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Quoted: lol thats cute Australian gumtrees were introduced into California. The idea was that gumtrees grow quick in shit, dry condition in Australia. So by introducing them to California, the similar shitty conditions would result in plenty of wood for building. Turns out, the wood is shit for building. Turns out, the trees catch fire really easily. May not have poisonous fruit and shit, but our flamey boi has definitely killed more and caused more damage/destruction than your sappy boi, both here and in California. The motherfuckers also drop huge branches and shit all the time, and fall over for no reason. A girl in my school died on a school camping trip due to getting crushed by a gumtree View Quote Laughs in kookaburra. |
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Quoted: Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house. People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly. By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: That would be a huntsman. They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide. Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house. People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly. By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects. I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way. |
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Remember a few months back when China was mysteriously mailing packets of seeds to the United States?
Maybe it's time to return the favor. |
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Quoted: I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: That would be a huntsman. They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide. Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house. People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly. By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects. I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way. Attached File You'd do it, don't lie. 8 legs are better than 2. |
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We had one of those trees growing in the neighborhood when I lived in Puerto Rico. We were warned to stay away from it. Land crabs burrowed underneath the tree. They probably lived off the dead lizards that the tree would kill. The sap would cause instant burning pain, and even a hard rain would snap off the leaves and start the poison flowing.
I wondered if the crabs became toxic in turn. The locals would collect large land crabs and then stage fights between them, usually when there were no more roosters to be had. |
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Quoted: Banana Spiders are cuddly and just want to be petted. https://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f323/amgspimmy/heather-banana-spider.jpg They keep rabies away. https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/comp-1565268635.png View Quote |
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They grow liken damn weeds and grow fast. I am always cutting some down on my property. Thankfully they don't bother me much but somemfriendsnhave a bad time with them
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Quoted: I agree. I am Florida Man, do not attempt this on your own. Don’t forget the Hurricanes, Wild Hogs, Coral Snakes, Rattlesnakes, Cottonmouths, Copperheads, Black/Red/Brown Widows, Brown Recluse, Portuguese Man-O-War, Stonefish, Stingrays, Jet-Ski Rentals, Meth-addicts, Brain Eating Amoeba, View Quote Lol we call the jet ski renters, murder hornets. Most dangerous pests around here |
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Quoted: If you're ever in southern California and come across a plant that looks and smells like marijuana..... it's probably poodle dog bush, touch it and you get severe blisters that are spread easily by scratching for several weeks. But I would hope none of us are dumb enough to go to southern CA and rub up against random plants. View Quote That could make for some fun shenanigans with the dea |
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Quoted: https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/258165/https___s3-images_ladbible_com_s3_conten-2172347.JPG View Quote If you grew Sea Monkeys in can of Monster |
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Quoted: Oleanders. It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state. IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you. https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg View Quote Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol |
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Quoted: That would be a huntsman. They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide. Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you View Quote Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs. My dad is insanely afraid of spiders and this medium sized bastard was in my daughters garage. I should have got the video of him cowering plastered on the opposite wall white as a ghost. Can hear him say "beat the fuck outta him with that' while pointing to the broom. Garage Huntsman |
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Quoted: Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: That would be a huntsman. They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide. Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs That's what was crawling up my leg the other night. Good to know. Thanks, Australobama. |
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Quoted: Oleanders. It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state. IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you. https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg View Quote Every yard in S fla has these along with Angel Trumpets...I have a Palm tree in my back yard the Mexicans don't fuck with unless they are all gloved up with PPE on.. |
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Quoted: In every state except Alabama and West Virginia. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: In every state except Alabama and West Virginia. Quoted: So if you eat your mother in law you die? Do you know why they don't do reverse cowgirl in WV or Alabama for seggsy time? |
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Quoted: Florida man learns reverse psychology. Not today Mr flaman. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes |
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Quoted: Florida is the only state that you have to go North, to get into the South. It gets far weirder on the Northern end. Like "the best skin is kin" kinda weird in some parts on the North end. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: It also gets weirder the further south you go. They play banjos here. PADDLE FASTER! |
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Quoted: Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Oleanders. It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state. IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you. https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol https://myria.com/are-oleander-plants-really-poisonous What can oleander do to you? Why’s it so dangerous? Two of the ingredients in oleander are oleandrin and digitoxigenin, which are related to the heart drug digitalis. (A 2010 medical study noted, “oleander poisoning can be fatal with relatively small amounts ingested,” and says references an earlier study that calculated the lethal oleander leaf dose to be approximately 4 grams. They added, “Practicing physicians should understand the potential lethal properties of oleander and its availability throughout the world.”) Signs of oleander poisoning include gastrointestinal issues (nausea/vomiting, stomach pain, bloody diarrhea), heart problems (slowed pulse, irregular heartbeat, dizziness) along with other symptoms like dilated pupils and drowsiness. (See a detailed list of oleander poisoning symptoms here.) Despite the obvious need to exercise caution, it’s worth noting that a study by the Cardiovascular Toxicology Research Laboratory at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston found that the adult death rate from oleander poisoning is generally low — smaller children and animals are most at risk. You were saying? |
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Quoted: https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/61139970_1306175189548934_2612528804001742848_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=SnNp8zeJAGUAX-TL1os&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=edccff74ddd33a9e25d417d5ef6b2a88&oe=61BB6DBB Here are some of our dangerous animals. Gators and Crocs living side by side. https://www.evergladesholidaypark.com/images/the-difference-between-alligators-and-crocodiles-of-the-everglades.jpg Giant Pythons https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2020/07/14/PTCN/f2c029e2-1573-483d-8e47-09389dced2d9-pythons_ian.jpg Big Kitties https://cdni.rt.com/files/2016.03/article/56fc5833c36188767c8b45b5.jpg Black Bears https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JiKr3rT0Jww/hqdefault.jpg Big Fish with Sharp Teeth https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/i8D3AdUXvYGBMKKHC391zWcxj9k=/2280x1282/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/TXTPHQGGKYI6TCHRIBWI6S7HAY.jpg But the most dangerous animal in Florida is....... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sheriff Grady Judd. You get between him and his news camera, you'll die. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E-2ah9WWQAcEO7_?format=jpg&name=large Your dog will die too when he Red Flags you. View Quote Related to the Red Flag comment about Judd, do you know of any websites with updated numbers on Risk Protection Orders? I know when they first started doing them, Polk County had the most in the state, even more than Palm Beach/Broward/Dade/Hillsborough county. Judd always brags how pro-gun he is, but allows his deputies to confiscate the most guns without due process of any county in the state. I always bring that up when people start talking about how great he is. He's just another politician that loves the camera and setting up sexual predator stings. |
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Quoted: Quoted: https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/61139970_1306175189548934_2612528804001742848_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=SnNp8zeJAGUAX-TL1os&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=edccff74ddd33a9e25d417d5ef6b2a88&oe=61BB6DBB Here are some of our dangerous animals. Gators and Crocs living side by side. https://www.evergladesholidaypark.com/images/the-difference-between-alligators-and-crocodiles-of-the-everglades.jpg Giant Pythons https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2020/07/14/PTCN/f2c029e2-1573-483d-8e47-09389dced2d9-pythons_ian.jpg Big Kitties https://cdni.rt.com/files/2016.03/article/56fc5833c36188767c8b45b5.jpg Black Bears https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JiKr3rT0Jww/hqdefault.jpg Big Fish with Sharp Teeth https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/i8D3AdUXvYGBMKKHC391zWcxj9k=/2280x1282/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/TXTPHQGGKYI6TCHRIBWI6S7HAY.jpg But the most dangerous animal in Florida is....... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sheriff Grady Judd. You get between him and his news camera, you'll die. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E-2ah9WWQAcEO7_?format=jpg&name=large Your dog will die too when he Red Flags you. No mention of turistas on jet skis? Well, he DID forget to mention the caimans. https://myfwc.com/wildlifehabitats/wildlife/american-crocodile/caiman/ The common or spectacled caiman (Caiman crocodilus) looks more like the American crocodile than the American alligator. Its color is similar to the crocodile's but with a shorter more rounded snout. Caiman are found primarily in freshwater canals and lakes and rarely exceed 5 feet in length. The Common caiman is an exotic species in Florida, although it has become established in the south eastern part of the state. Caiman are native to Central and South America, and their distribution in Florida will probably remain confined to south Florida because they cannot tolerate cold temperatures. When FWC says rarely exceeds five feet, that means there are probably specimens around that are 8 to almost 10 feet. |
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Quoted: https://myria.com/are-oleander-plants-really-poisonous What can oleander do to you? Why’s it so dangerous? Two of the ingredients in oleander are oleandrin and digitoxigenin, which are related to the heart drug digitalis. (A 2010 medical study noted, “oleander poisoning can be fatal with relatively small amounts ingested,” and says references an earlier study that calculated the lethal oleander leaf dose to be approximately 4 grams. They added, “Practicing physicians should understand the potential lethal properties of oleander and its availability throughout the world.”) Signs of oleander poisoning include gastrointestinal issues (nausea/vomiting, stomach pain, bloody diarrhea), heart problems (slowed pulse, irregular heartbeat, dizziness) along with other symptoms like dilated pupils and drowsiness. (See a detailed list of oleander poisoning symptoms here.) Despite the obvious need to exercise caution, it’s worth noting that a study by the Cardiovascular Toxicology Research Laboratory at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston found that the adult death rate from oleander poisoning is generally low — smaller children and animals are most at risk. You were saying? View Quote Sure it will fuck you up but saying folks cooking cooked hot dogs with it is an old urban legend. |
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I need to plant some oleander bushes, I think it would be a good way to give some separation between me and that asshole neighbor.
Oh yeah, can't forget stingray season at the beaches too. |
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Quoted: https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/444692/alligator-florida-0406.jpg https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/indianajones/images/e/e9/Molaram_death.jpg ^^^^ this scene from indiana jones was filmed in florida. https://youtu.be/zYWLE9HIqUM?t=387 View Quote There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy. The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side. Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them. |
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Quoted: There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy. The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side. Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/444692/alligator-florida-0406.jpg https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/indianajones/images/e/e9/Molaram_death.jpg ^^^^ this scene from indiana jones was filmed in florida. https://youtu.be/zYWLE9HIqUM?t=387 There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy. The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side. Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them. Yep. Very nice gator, but a hell of a long way from the monster that pic makes it look like. |
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Quoted: Cool. Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here: https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823 I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you. View Quote Panhandle..... I may have done the Ricky Bobby run once or twice walking face first into one of those mowing the edge by the woods...... |
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