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Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:15:22 AM EDT
[#1]
Cold is worse,  dayum Canada,  you scary!
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:16:08 AM EDT
[#2]
I read somewhere that they would tie people to that tree to die a slow painful death.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:19:50 AM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

I don't see longleaf pine fires devastating California.

Eucalypts do similar things, but inhibit other plants growing near them with some other chemical shit.  Our trees kill people and burn shit in countries that aren't even Australia.

Also, you're welcome for burning California.
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lol thats cute

Australian gumtrees were introduced into California.  The idea was that gumtrees grow quick in shit, dry condition in Australia.  So by introducing them to California, the similar shitty conditions would result in plenty of wood for building.

Turns out, the wood is shit for building.

Turns out, the trees catch fire really easily.  

May not have poisonous fruit and shit, but our flamey boi has definitely killed more and caused more damage/destruction than your sappy boi, both here and in California.  

The motherfuckers also drop huge branches and shit all the time, and fall over for no reason.  A girl in my school died on a school camping trip due to getting crushed by a gumtree

You realize our natural forest ecosystem is longleaf pine flatwoods. Those trees are adapted for causing forest fires in order to genocide any other trees that want to mess with them. Then they drop needles into the soil to poison it. They make the soil so acidic you can't grow anything in it, and all of the minerals leech out.

Our trees will burn your trees alive and then starve their children to death.

I don't see longleaf pine fires devastating California.

Eucalypts do similar things, but inhibit other plants growing near them with some other chemical shit.  Our trees kill people and burn shit in countries that aren't even Australia.

Also, you're welcome for burning California.

When you put it that way, thank you for your service, Australian firetrees.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:37:19 AM EDT
[#4]
But as the great equalizer, we have Florida Man (aka Flardaman)
Everything you can fit on that list, he can wrangle, kill, breed, eat, buy and sell, or at least has a tattoo of.
 
His phone needs a charge, and his truck needs tires, but his generator starts, and he will never die of thirst.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:47:06 AM EDT
[#5]
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Quoted:
lol thats cute

Australian gumtrees were introduced into California.  The idea was that gumtrees grow quick in shit, dry condition in Australia.  So by introducing them to California, the similar shitty conditions would result in plenty of wood for building.

Turns out, the wood is shit for building.

Turns out, the trees catch fire really easily.  

May not have poisonous fruit and shit, but our flamey boi has definitely killed more and caused more damage/destruction than your sappy boi, both here and in California.  

The motherfuckers also drop huge branches and shit all the time, and fall over for no reason.  A girl in my school died on a school camping trip due to getting crushed by a gumtree
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A Møøse once bit my sister.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:50:21 AM EDT
[#6]
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Quoted:
Everyone should stay far, far away from Florida.
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Florida man learns reverse psychology.  Not today Mr flaman.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:51:13 AM EDT
[#7]
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Quoted:
Venomous trees
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Poisonous
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:51:50 AM EDT
[#8]
Damn, had no idea.....
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 9:55:34 AM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.
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I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:16:20 AM EDT
[#10]
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Quoted:


I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first.
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Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.


I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first.
Banana Spiders are cuddly and just want to be petted.



They keep rabies away.

Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:41:39 AM EDT
[#11]
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Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.


I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first.
Banana Spiders are cuddly and just want to be petted.

https://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f323/amgspimmy/heather-banana-spider.jpg

They keep rabies away.

https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/comp-1565268635.png







Ok.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:48:30 AM EDT
[#12]
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Quoted:
WAnne Ivy is the real deal, Grady Judd is the store brand imitation crab meat version.
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Can agree Sheriff Judd is quite the cam whore, Wayne ivy is better in this regard and still unapologetic.

There was a high profile police shooting with county officers where ivy gave the briefing.
When one reporter asked why the officer fired so many rounds into the thug (who had just beaten another officer to the ground) his response was roughly, "you cannot kill evil too much"

WAnne Ivy is the real deal, Grady Judd is the store brand imitation crab meat version.


Eh, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a little tofu in Wayne, but I’m glad we have him instead of Judd.

That said I like that florida has so many sheriffs willing to dispel on camera the myth of the noble villian and stand up for their officers. we’ve probably avoided a lot of BLM riots thanks to that.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:49:06 AM EDT
[#13]
You forgot the poisonwood tree
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:52:07 AM EDT
[#14]
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:54:50 AM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house.  People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly.  By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects.
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That would be a huntsman.

They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide.  Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you

Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.

Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house.  People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly.  By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects.


I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 10:57:14 AM EDT
[#16]
Remember a few months back when China was mysteriously mailing packets of seeds to the United States?

Maybe it's time to return the favor.

Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:01:07 AM EDT
[#17]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
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I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way.
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Quoted:

That would be a huntsman.

They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide.  Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you

Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.

Sorta, except huntsmen like to hide inside cars and motorcycle helmet and inside your house.  People think they are scary when in fact they are soft and cuddly.  By soft and cuddly, I mean they are pretty passive and will kill cockroaches and annoying insects.


I don’t give a shit if they knit quilts. I’m smashing any spider that big like a retard on a drum set, in a non-sexual way.

Attachment Attached File


You'd do it, don't lie. 8 legs are better than 2.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:14:59 AM EDT
[#18]
We had one of those trees growing in the neighborhood when I lived in Puerto Rico.  We were warned to stay away from it.  Land crabs burrowed underneath the tree.  They probably lived off the dead lizards that the tree would kill.  The sap would cause instant burning pain, and even a hard rain would snap off the leaves and start the poison flowing.  

I wondered if the crabs became toxic in turn.  The locals would collect large land crabs and then stage fights between them, usually when there were no more roosters to be had.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:15:30 AM EDT
[#19]
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Quoted:
Everyone should stay far, far away from Florida.
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Great advice, let's hope they listen.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:17:22 AM EDT
[#20]
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They look all big & scary but they are tame. Have had them crawling on me along with those ugly orb weavers. Tons of them around my place in the summer. I'll catch crickets from time to time and feed them. Getting a face full of web sucks tho, it's covered in glue.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:18:45 AM EDT
[#21]
They grow liken damn weeds and grow fast. I am always cutting some down on my property. Thankfully they don't bother me much but somemfriendsnhave a bad time with them
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:20:22 AM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
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I agree.

I am Florida Man, do not attempt this on your own.

Don’t forget the Hurricanes, Wild Hogs, Coral Snakes, Rattlesnakes, Cottonmouths, Copperheads, Black/Red/Brown Widows, Brown Recluse, Portuguese Man-O-War, Stonefish, Stingrays, Jet-Ski Rentals, Meth-addicts, Brain Eating Amoeba,
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Lol we call the jet ski renters, murder hornets. Most dangerous pests around here
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:23:11 AM EDT
[#23]
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If you're ever in southern California and come across a plant that looks and smells like marijuana..... it's probably poodle dog bush, touch it and you get severe blisters that are spread easily by scratching for several weeks.

But I would hope none of us are dumb enough to go to southern CA and rub up against random plants.
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That could make for some fun shenanigans with the dea
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:23:13 AM EDT
[#24]
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Are the panthers making a comeback?  When I left Florida, there were still less than thirty alive, and the state was bringing in new breeding stock from Tejas to try and get their numbers up.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:39:22 AM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History

If you grew Sea Monkeys in  can of Monster
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:40:22 AM EDT
[#26]
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Quoted:
Oleanders.

It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state.

IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you.

https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg
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Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:42:00 AM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

That would be a huntsman.

They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide.  Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you
View Quote

Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs.

My dad is insanely afraid of spiders and this medium sized bastard was in my daughters garage. I should have got the video of him cowering plastered on the opposite wall white as a ghost. Can hear him say "beat the fuck outta him with that' while pointing to the broom.

Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:48:32 AM EDT
[#28]
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Quoted:

Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs
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Quoted:
Quoted:

That would be a huntsman.

They are like furry dogs with lots of legs that like to hide.  Harmless unless you annoy them, and their bite just hurts but can't kill you

Those bastards are in Florida now. Hell of a boat ride. Fuckers will chase you. They are great pest control though. They eat palmetto bugs

That's what was crawling up my leg the other night. Good to know. Thanks, Australobama.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 11:50:09 AM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Oleanders.

It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state.

IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you.

https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg
View Quote



Every yard in S fla has these along with Angel Trumpets...I have a Palm tree in my back yard the Mexicans don't fuck with unless they are all gloved up with PPE on..
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 1:37:15 PM EDT
[#30]
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Quoted:

Yes.
But she'll be happy and hungry an hour later.
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Quoted:


So if you eat your mother in law you die?

Yes.
But she'll be happy and hungry an hour later.

Link Posted: 11/19/2021 1:38:20 PM EDT
[#31]
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Quoted:
In every state except Alabama and West Virginia.



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In every state except Alabama and West Virginia.


Quoted:


So if you eat your mother in law you die?



Do you know why they don't do reverse cowgirl in WV or Alabama for seggsy time?
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 1:39:13 PM EDT
[#32]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

Cool.

Sounds sorta like the banana spiders around here:

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/resizer/_AvI-D4eniEfDIhg1bleBFTJmmU=/1200x0/top/www.trbimg.com/img-5217f8c6/turbine/sfl-giant-banana-spiders-photos-20130823

I have seen ones big enough that when they spread their legs out fully, they cover a fully grown man's hand. They usually leave you alone, but if you mess with their webs, they'll come after you.


I terminated a foot pursuit once after running into one of those guys head first.
Banana Spiders are cuddly and just want to be petted.

https://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f323/amgspimmy/heather-banana-spider.jpg

They keep rabies away.

https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/comp-1565268635.png


/media/mediaFiles/sharedAlbum/EgcB5I3-51.gif
/media/mediaFiles/sharedAlbum/bubbles_zps5bf5952f_GIF-110.gif
/media/mediaFiles/sharedAlbum/330CC6C3-704D-4020-B3D5-C91D11232EB1-475.gif
/media/mediaFiles/sharedAlbum/GZHd6Sp-56.gif

Ok.
https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/69882/fly_bys_meme-1573733.jpg



haha...I remember riding my Big Red through the trails during the summer and having to dodge those big ass spiders
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 1:40:07 PM EDT
[#33]
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Quoted:

Florida man learns reverse psychology.  Not today Mr flaman.
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Quoted:
Everyone should stay far, far away from Florida.

Florida man learns reverse psychology.  Not today Mr flaman.
Well of course you're welcome.  You got a purdy mouth.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 3:55:22 PM EDT
[#34]
Never knew about those trees. Thanks for warning me.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:19:21 PM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Florida is the only state that you have to go North, to get into the South. It gets far weirder on the Northern end. Like "the best skin is kin" kinda weird in some parts on the North end.
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Quoted:
It also gets weirder the further south you go.
Florida is the only state that you have to go North, to get into the South. It gets far weirder on the Northern end. Like "the best skin is kin" kinda weird in some parts on the North end.

They play banjos here.

PADDLE FASTER!
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:23:33 PM EDT
[#36]
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Quoted:

Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol
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Quoted:
Oleanders.

It's always wild to see things like silly tourists using them to hold hotdogs over fires and than getting sick or dying after doing so, and oleanders are used as decorative plants all over this state.

IIRC even the smoke from them burning is not good for you.

https://www.south-florida-plant-guide.com/images/oleander-in-landscape.jpg

Lol the old hot dog cooking urban legend from the mid 70s is still alive lol


https://myria.com/are-oleander-plants-really-poisonous

What can oleander do to you?

Why’s it so dangerous? Two of the ingredients in oleander are oleandrin and digitoxigenin, which are related to the heart drug digitalis. (A 2010 medical study noted, “oleander poisoning can be fatal with relatively small amounts ingested,” and says references an earlier study that calculated the lethal oleander leaf dose to be approximately 4 grams. They added, “Practicing physicians should understand the potential lethal properties of oleander and its availability throughout the world.”)

Signs of oleander poisoning include gastrointestinal issues (nausea/vomiting, stomach pain, bloody diarrhea), heart problems (slowed pulse, irregular heartbeat, dizziness) along with other symptoms like dilated pupils and drowsiness. (See a detailed list of oleander poisoning symptoms here.)

Despite the obvious need to exercise caution, it’s worth noting that a study by the Cardiovascular Toxicology Research Laboratory at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston found that the adult death rate from oleander poisoning is generally low — smaller children and animals are most at risk.


You were saying?
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:25:18 PM EDT
[#37]
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Quoted:
Everyone should stay far, far away from Florida.
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Man, that whole FPNI thing is uncanny!
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:31:35 PM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Florida is the only state that you have to go North, to get into the South. It gets far weirder on the Northern end. Like "the best skin is kin" kinda weird in some parts on the North end.
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You leave Esto out of this.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:34:10 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History



Related to the Red Flag comment about Judd, do you know of any websites with updated numbers on Risk Protection Orders?  I know when they first started doing them, Polk County had the most in the state, even more than Palm Beach/Broward/Dade/Hillsborough county.  Judd always brags how pro-gun he is, but allows his deputies to confiscate the most guns without due process of any county in the state.  I always bring that up when people start talking about how great he is.  He's just another politician that loves the camera and setting up sexual predator stings.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 4:50:04 PM EDT
[#41]
Why are those not all cut down and gone?  That's nuts.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:28:41 PM EDT
[#42]
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No mention of turistas on jet skis?
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Well, he DID forget to mention the caimans.

https://myfwc.com/wildlifehabitats/wildlife/american-crocodile/caiman/

The common or spectacled caiman (Caiman crocodilus) looks more like the American crocodile than the American alligator. Its color is similar to the crocodile's but with a shorter more rounded snout. Caiman are found primarily in freshwater canals and lakes and rarely exceed 5 feet in length.

The Common caiman is an exotic species in Florida, although it has become established in the south eastern part of the state. Caiman are native to Central and South America, and their distribution in Florida will probably remain confined to south Florida because they cannot tolerate cold temperatures.




When FWC says rarely exceeds five feet, that means there are probably specimens around that are 8 to almost 10 feet.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:31:18 PM EDT
[#43]




^^^^ this scene from indiana jones was filmed in florida.

https://youtu.be/zYWLE9HIqUM?t=387
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:41:55 PM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Why are those not all cut down and gone?  That's nuts.
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It is a way we separate the wheat from the chaff.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:43:29 PM EDT
[#45]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


https://myria.com/are-oleander-plants-really-poisonous

What can oleander do to you?

Why’s it so dangerous? Two of the ingredients in oleander are oleandrin and digitoxigenin, which are related to the heart drug digitalis. (A 2010 medical study noted, “oleander poisoning can be fatal with relatively small amounts ingested,” and says references an earlier study that calculated the lethal oleander leaf dose to be approximately 4 grams. They added, “Practicing physicians should understand the potential lethal properties of oleander and its availability throughout the world.”)

Signs of oleander poisoning include gastrointestinal issues (nausea/vomiting, stomach pain, bloody diarrhea), heart problems (slowed pulse, irregular heartbeat, dizziness) along with other symptoms like dilated pupils and drowsiness. (See a detailed list of oleander poisoning symptoms here.)

Despite the obvious need to exercise caution, it’s worth noting that a study by the Cardiovascular Toxicology Research Laboratory at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston found that the adult death rate from oleander poisoning is generally low — smaller children and animals are most at risk.


You were saying?
View Quote

Sure it will fuck you up but saying folks cooking cooked hot dogs with it is an old urban legend.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:48:32 PM EDT
[#46]
I need to plant some oleander bushes, I think it would be a good way to give some separation between me and that asshole neighbor.
Oh yeah, can't forget stingray season at the beaches too.
Link Posted: 11/19/2021 5:49:20 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History


There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy.  The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side.  Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them.
Link Posted: 11/20/2021 1:03:14 AM EDT
[#48]
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Quoted:


There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy.  The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side.  Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them.
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Quoted:


There is some "forced persepctive" in the photo of the gator and the boy.  The boy is on the far side of the John Deere, and the gator is on the near side.  Probably a good 8 feet-ish distance between them.

Yep. Very nice gator, but a hell of a long way from the monster that pic makes it look like.
Link Posted: 11/20/2021 1:06:48 AM EDT
[#49]
Link Posted: 11/20/2021 1:09:31 AM EDT
[#50]
I'd like to give one of these trees as a gift. ??
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