[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Depression sucks... (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 9/7/2012 6:37:49 AM EDT
| Broke up with a girl this week, put me in a really bad funk. I think it brought out some underlying depression I have had for a long time. I haven't slept in three days. Can someone tell me there is a way this gets better? |
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Quoted: Time. Hanging out with friends. Cavorting with harlots. Hobbies. This... Also note that even though parting ways sucks, it's often a safety valve averting a more severe problem. I have viewed all mine this way. Consider yourself lucky and read the posts by the guys who split after decades and are then seen as an income source for several more. |
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Broke up with a girl this week, put me in a really bad funk. I think it brought out some underlying depression I have had for a long time. I haven't slept in three days. Can someone tell me there is a way this gets better? Trust me. If you are stuck in a depressive state, GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST!!! You may simply have the proclivity for the disease of depression and you NEED medication. -R |
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Others have posted some good things.
If you just sit there and think about it then you will feel the pain. I just broke up with my GF last Friday. It was my decision and it was still painful. Just have to find things to keep your mind off of it. Exercise. Talk to friends. Cook some food. Read a book. Whatever to keep your mind off of it. |
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Your probably a bit depressed. Diagnosing depression is another issue.
Like the others have stated. Physical activities, Family and friends. The moment you find yourself even remotely attracted to another it will be gone. Jump back on the Horse and ride it. You'll feel better. |
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Disclosure... depression sufferer here. In some cases, medication can really help. It changed my life... as it turned out, I had a genuine brain chemistry issue. I resisted the hell out of meds for the longest time, but finally relented. They don't make "everything groovy" or mellow me out or anything like that. There really wasn't any noticeable effect all for me, a month or so later I just noticed that I didn't feel like shit all the time and didn't want to strangle everyone.
Now, that being said, you might just be down man. Losing someone you care about sucks ass. Go spend some extra time, all the time you can manage, doing things you enjoy for a while. The real tip off for me that there was something seriously wrong was when I stopped enjoying things that I know I enjoyed, like shooting. Give that a try, keep an eye out on how you're feeling and acting, and hopefully things will get better for you. And this goes without saying, if you start to think about doing something really stupid, go talk to somebody immediately! An awkward conversation beats the hell out of getting hurt, arrested, or worse. |
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Thing is this girl really toyed with me. First girl I have seriously dated in 2 years. We were hot and heavy for a month, took a break, got back together, took a break, got back together, everything was groovy, and I though she had gotten over her issues, then for no apparent reason ended it. Same old line, its not you its me, your seriously a perfect guy, etc etc. I am starting to feel like I will never have a real meaningful relationship with anyone. Worst part is I will have to see her a bunch still because she is a nurse in a local ER and I'm a firefighter/paramedic.
I just shouldn't be this torn up over a 2.5 month relationship. Starting to think something else is wrong with me and the relationship ending brought it out. |
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Thing is this girl really toyed with me. First girl I have seriously dated in 2 years. We were hot and heavy for a month, took a break, got back together, took a break, got back together, everything was groovy, and I though she had gotten over her issues, then for no apparent reason ended it. Same old line, its not you its me, your seriously a perfect guy, etc etc. I am starting to feel like I will never have a real meaningful relationship with anyone. Worst part is I will have to see her a bunch still because she is a nurse in a local ER and I'm a firefighter/paramedic. I just shouldn't be this torn up over a 2.5 month relationship. Starting to think something else is wrong with me and the relationship ending brought it out. The way you think will generally determine your outcome. You've probably heard the quote, "I think, therefore I am," by René Descartes. The first sale any salesperson needs to make is to themselves. If you're sold on you (and you're not a narcissistic douche-canoe), women will buy what you're selling. What I highlighted in red is certainly something you should consider, though it doesn't necessarily mean its true. Introspection and constructive criticism are critical to self-improvement. I know a ton of guys/girls that only attract crazy/are attracted to crazy. I'm always astounded when they're surprised that the powder keg blew up in their face. You're obviously capable of objectively considering if the issue is you or blind chance, and that's the hardest part. Keep searching yourself and analyze the women you've been with before. If there's a pattern, there's a reason. Keep your head up, believe in yourself, and make your own luck! |
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Exercise and a proper diet will go a long way. Agree with this. I must note that I stopped drinking ANY coffee about six weeks back and I found myself getting a little depressed. I started back drinking a couple of cups of dunkin' doughnuts coffee this week in the morning and I am definitely LESS depressed and more alert. Now I only drank a couple of cups in the morning when I was a regular coffee drinker. I was never one of those "all-day coffee drinkers" so I don't think I am harming my health all that much. Other than this small indiscretion, the rest of my diet is fairly healthy - if any American can safely say that these days! |
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The black hole .... you are in it..... only way out is to do things that don't suck you back in .... exercise, read, clean your house or car .... take care of youself......it will fade away. Change your avatar .... it kinda looks like a black hole. Plus 1––Please Clean My house and Car!! 
Hang in there Bro!! 
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The worst part of depression is everyone telling you it is wrong to be depressed. They tell you are broken and you need fixed and that is what causes you to go downhill. There is nothing idea that is worse to believe than that you are broken, a failure, a genetic defect, or that there is something inherently wrong with you. THat is what causes people to become self-destructive.
Depression is an evolutionary adaptation that has helped us survive the ages. It isn't a modern construct or a recent scourge. Think about it; WHen you are depressed you do less, engage in less risky activities, consume less, and are evidently satisfied with less. That conserves resources and energy. It is the perfect thing to do when, say, your sibling just died from starvation or was ate by a pack of wolves that were hanging outside the mouth of the cave. You and the girl are broke up. While on the surface it seems just like 2 people parting ways, in many ways you just suffered a loss that might as well have been a death. Your mate has been eaten by wolves. When the pack moves on, go to the next cave and find another... There is no magic pill that makes it better. For me the best thing was getting over the idea depression made me a failure. I learned what caused my depressions (poor diet, lack of light, etc) but when I have a good reason to be depressed, fuck it, I run with it. When else are you going to be satisfied watching game shows or lie in bed all day? I'd rather be depressed and recovering from knee surgery rather than be fucking antsy and stuck in bed. Sooner or later you will get hungry enough to go outside again. |
| I understand it having been there as probably all of us have. For me it was well over 20 years ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. What has helped me is being successful at what I do, my job, hobbies, do it yourself projects, things that I like to do or going places that I want to go to. I have since gotten married myself and have moved on, but you never really forget. I really wish I could just forget but you just can't. Move on and keep moving. |
| Go talk to someone about your depression. A pastor, a good wise friend, a therapist, just find someone you respect and start talking about it. Exercise helps too. If it is debilitating and affecting your ability to perform daily tasks then seek the help of a professional. There is no shame in admitting that you might need help. I have family members who suffer from chronic depression and I can see how debilitating it is, it sucks the life out of them. |
| It happens to a lot of people. There's nothing unique or extraordinarily hard about what you're going through. Thousands if not millions feel the same right now. Move on. Three years from now you will look back and think WTF were you thinking and be thankful you got out of that mess. |
| You broke up 3x in 2 1/2 months. You said she toyed with you. It doesn't sound like there was anything too deep. What you need to do is take your mind off the Ex and date other chicks. Or hang with the guys. Or work a little more to keep busy. Whatever you do, Don't let the Ex know how much it bothers you. And don't get back with her either. |
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Cant believe I'm the first to say it... go shooting! Seriously, grab a couple guns and head out into the woods and blast some shit! Always makes me feel better. Pistol shooting is probably the best medicine I've done. It creates a centergy and completness that only focused pistol shooting can do. Do enough of it, eat healthy and workout and you won't need anyone. |
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Major depression for almost 20 years here. Most people I interact with have no idea... Being a disorder that is heavily stigmatized, you learn to hide it and lie about it.
I don't allow myself to have much idle time and I never take days off. If I'm not working or at the gym, I'm volunteering.it seems to help... Especially having people count on you to be there. I also drink heavily. *shrugs* |
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Thing is this girl really toyed with me. First girl I have seriously dated in 2 years. We were hot and heavy for a month, took a break, got back together, took a break, got back together, everything was groovy, and I though she had gotten over her issues, then for no apparent reason ended it. Same old line, its not you its me, your seriously a perfect guy, etc etc. I am starting to feel like I will never have a real meaningful relationship with anyone. Worst part is I will have to see her a bunch still because she is a nurse in a local ER and I'm a firefighter/paramedic. I just shouldn't be this torn up over a 2.5 month relationship. Starting to think something else is wrong with me and the relationship ending brought it out. One of the toughest breakups I went through was with what I thought was Ms. Incredible that I'd been dating for only 45 days. And I wasn't a naive highschooler either. In fact, I probably would have had better control of my head in highschool. Some situations come together like the perfect storm and yeah, there were underlying reasons why I fell so fast so hard and took it so hard as there was a time earlier I wouldn't have given her kind the time of day. I ran into her or actually past her in the store once after that and she gave me a passing look with her hard, dead eyes and I thought 'fuck you, you toxic bitch', and didn't even give her the attention of a look back. |
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Some say "It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness" Sometimes a guy has to step back, take a deep breath and yell FUCK YOU DARKNESS!!!! HERE I AM!!! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT???? I knew a buddy that pulled himself through some shit. Grade-A USDA Prime Shit. Hadn't seen him in a few years. When I saw him again, he was born again hard. I asked what happened, and all he said was, "I used to be afraid of the dark. Now the dark is afraid of me." Worked for him anyway. 
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Dwelling on it and worst of all focusing your attention on it only makes it worse.
We humans have a nasty ability to make the untrue true in our minds if we give it enough thought. Get out, do stuff, distract yourself with hobbies, friends and exercise... and soon you will discover that depression is something you have to pay attention to for it to affect you. |
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I've been suffering from depression since I was 13 years old. It sucks but you can make it better by doing things you enjoy.
Go shooting, hunting, exercising or have fun with your friends. If that doesn't help I recommend that you seek professional assistance (that's what I did). |
