[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Divorced? Why? (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/4/2005 2:32:28 PM EDT
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I'm curious to know reasons... your decision? mutual? infidelity? money? sexual incompatability? religion? something else? |
Almost all of the above? She became a Mormon who was completely disinterested in sex, I became a distant asshole who never provided emotional support. |
I asked you first! Ummm.... mine would all reasons EXCEPT cheating.... my answer would have to be: because being pregnant wasn't a GOOD ENOUGH reason to get married, and after 11 years of trying to make it work, I finally realized that! |
I didn't ask what anyone's LEGITIMATE reasons were.... ...at the same time, I tend to agree with you... (what is YMMV?) |
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My ex cheated on me.......then left me and the kids for over a year.....then came back and under the guise of trying to put it back together she took the kids and days later her attorney contacted me and she had filed for divorce. Cheating, lying, dishonest, lousy in bed, co-dependant, demanding, demeaning, controlling, violent, suspicious, insulting, etc, etc, etc. The really sad part is that I didn't realize how I was living and the mantle that I was living under, nor how lucky I was to actually excape it until after she was gone. I did allot of stupid things such as let her get her hands on our kids, and we are still currently fighting tooth and nail over that, but I personally, am allot better off without her and I just feel sorry for the next poor bastard that she traps. Everything I do now is for my kids. Anything I can do to save them from their mother, I will do. Chris |
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Before I proposed I made it PERFECTLY CLEAR clear to her what kind of life I had in mind and she agreed. After we got married she turned into the typical "I must have a house, kids, stay at home with kids and play in the yard with the white picket fence and you must make sure that I get everything I want" wife. That was NOT the life that I signed up for. When I needed to relocate from SAN to SFO for my job she REFUSED to move. Bottom line she didn't want to be more than 15 minutes from mommy. Result was that I commuted back to SAN a couple of weekends a month. All this time I managed to keep a roof over her head and provide for her and the kids. Several times I offered to quit the job and move back to San Diego. She was so terrified of the fact that I'd never be able to find another job that she said "no" (hell of a comment on what she thought about me, isn't it?). Finally I'd had enough and turned in my resignation, called her up with the good news. Her response? "I think you should just stay there, this isn't working out for us." Bottom line? She thought getting married was the "happily ever after" bullshit that so many girls are spoon fed all their lives. She actually used the term "I'm just not happy anymore" and blamed me for her lack of happiness. In short, I was fired because her life didn't turn out the way she was programmed it would and to her, I was responsible for that. Sorry for the rant. 
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Choice #1 was infidelity... so a spouse cheating on you ONCE is ok? But not twice? My wife cheats on me ONCE, she will get the boot. But since I haven't met her yet, she's safe for now. |
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I walked in on her and her "friend" on my 21st birthday. I was willing to try and work things out for the sake of our daughter, she was not, so to the curb she went. FWIW, 12 years later, I have custody of our daughter, I've married a woman who adores me, and have two more great kids. She is single, misrable, bitter, broke, unemployed, and living off of her mother. The best revenge is living well 
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Yeah, only when you are married to you find out that she is bi-polar and tries to kill you. |
I actually dated a guy for a year and a half who had been DIVORCED 3 times!! Until I came to my senses (thanks DG!!) I had actually convinced myself that it wasn't such a bad thing, and that "at least he wasn't afraid of commitment"!!! AFTER I came to my senses, I realized that HE was the common denominator in all those |
My ex-wife locked my dog in a bath room and left her locked in it for 10 hours with no water or food. The dog chewed up the door, as punishment, my ex-wife took one of my golf clubs and bashed my dog over the back, when I tried to grab the club from her, she hit me with it 3X and just about broke my jaw. Two weeks later she tried to run-over me with my truck for buying 1% milk instead of 2%. I think I was justified in getting a divorce. |
Ranting is encouraged... 
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hope that wasnt directed at me. i dont comtrol my freinds wile im working 12-16 hours a day |
tat, please dont take this wrong, but a friend that would let your wife give him a BJ isnt really a friend. |
No offense but she is an amateur. I could go on for hours..............in short the final straw was the 20 gauge shoved in my chest because I asked where she was the night before. 
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JEEZ!! I thought I was unstable without my meds! I just get a little weepy.... 
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I didn't mean to imply that it was your fault... |
My ex accused me of cheating on her, because "all" of these women were calling and looking for me. 2 of them were old ladies who I was selling timber for and the rest were telemarketers. I caught her trying to take the dog to the vet tohave it put down because her shoes were chewed up. |
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She wouldn't stop bitching...............bitch,bitch,bitch. From the time she woke up until the time she went to bed. Hell she would bitch when she was the only person in the room. No shit, I woke up several times hearing her bitch to herself in the other room. I finally diagnosed her bitching syndrome. When I informed her of her condition, " You like to bitch just hear yourself bitch!!!" it was pretty much the beginning of the end. Life is good now , the only bitching I have to deal with is on Jerry Springer and that is solved by a simple push of the button. |
Only twice? dang rookie...HAHAHA! First one: After telling her numerous times before we got married "I travel a lot," and her seeing the fact I traveled a lot, she (we) still felt we could make a marriage work. Second time I deployed, I came home to an empty house. Coupla messages on the answering machine. She was a daddy's girl (nothing wrong with that), but just couldn't, or wouldn't deal with it. Second one: Well, I was still traveling. She worked at a bank, made more than twice what I was, we saved tons of cash, etc. Things went well. Or so my dumbass self thought. In the middle of a 30 day leave between bases, she spurts, "Take us (her and kids) to the airport." Left me hanging at my dad's. This is one long story - suffice it to say - I lost everything. Third one: I married an Active Duty lady in 94. We were seperated for 5 months after our marriage (different bases). When she finally PCSed to where I was, I noticed she had changed. She changed because she became Bipolar. It was the most God awful 6 years or so of my life. I felt terrible she was sick, met every two weeks with her doctor, etc. But I'm not sure how I kept my shit together. One time, while sitting with the doc and her, he asked her "Have you ever thought about hurting your husband?" She said "Last night at dinner I thought about stabbing him in the leg with the steak knife." That was the last night we slept in the same bedroom. I gotta tell you this. SHe was over 20 years, and eligible to retire. We were stationed in Germany, and she got so bad - depressed, wouldn't go to work, etc - they emergency evacuated here to Wilford Hall (she was raised here in SA). She requested a Medical Board, and the military declined, saying "You need medical care that we can't provide here in Texas. We are PCSing you to Wright Patterson, Ohio." She said "Fuck no, I'm no going to WP." She put her retirement paperwork in. Her doc flipped, and they considered confining her, and considering her mentally unstable. Well, they didn't, and she retired. She applied to the VA for disability, and is 90% disabled. I saw some of her paper work, and they classified her as having a "severe social impairment." She moved out in May or so, claiming I was bugging her about spending too much money. She wanted a divorce, so I filed and she signed - she hated my guts. In October or so, her neighbor found her unconscious and ODed in her front yard as he was going to work. They stuck her in Laurel Ridge - a psych place here. They wouldn't tell me one single thing about her. Not even if she was there. Her doc, God Bless him, broke some laws and helped me deal with this. She got out in November, and told her sister to call me and have me refile the divorce - it expired. I refiled, the divorce went through, and I saw her the day after the divorce - my God she looked terrible - like she wanted to rip out my guts and burn them. I guarantee you that you wouldn't believe some of the stories I could tell you. I really feel sorry for her; she's sick. This was a pretty sad deal for me. I haven't seen or heard from her since December 2000. All that said, I used to think I was pretty lucky for surviving the military...I had no idea what survival really was. Hey, what was the original question? |
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Married for +17 yrs. I am away from home on a regularly scheduled basis. Wife cheated on me. The "affair" lasted for a couple of years. I didn't have a clue. When I finally found out, I confronted her about it. She blamed me. She stated that her "affair" was a symptom of, and not the cause of our problems. We're still not final. This shit is fresh in my mind. Still hurts. |
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Before I proposed I made it PERFECTLY CLEAR clear to her what kind of life I had in mind and she agreed. After we got married she turned into the typical "I must have a house, kids, stay at home with kids and play in the yard with the white picket fence and you must make sure that I get everything I want" wife. That was NOT the life that I signed up for. When I needed to relocate from SAN to SFO for my job she REFUSED to move. Bottom line she didn't want to be more than 15 minutes from mommy. Result was that I commuted back to SAN a couple of weekends a month. All this time I managed to keep a roof over her head and provide for her and the kids. Several times I offered to quit the job and move back to San Diego. She was so terrified of the fact that I'd never be able to find another job that she said "no" (hell of a comment on what she thought about me, isn't it?). Finally I'd had enough and turned in my resignation, called her up with the good news. Her response? "I think you should just stay there, this isn't working out for us." Bottom line? She thought getting married was the "happily ever after" bullshit that so many girls are spoon fed all their lives. She actually used the term "I'm just not happy anymore" and blamed me for her lack of happiness. In short, I was fired because her life didn't turn out the way she was programmed it would and to her, I was responsible for that. Sorry for the rant. Sounds just like my situation. My dad, being the great friend that he is, has promised to shoot me if I ever ever tell him I'm getting remarried. |