[ARCHIVED THREAD] - F**K YOU CHIPOTLE!!! (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 3/31/2017 12:26:39 PM EDT
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I eat out for lunch one time a week. I usually go to potbelly's since they are the bomb and i always get what i want there. Ive been going to chipotle for years and years but lately they have been dropping the ball on me and ive avoided them. Strangely, they no longer have lines out the door at any location anymore either, i wonder why.
Today, i figured i would mix it up and go to chipotle. Im craving some liberal conception mexican food. I got in, order a burrito, barbacoa w/ black beans, white rice. Lady moves it to the next guy for toppings and its a young, white guy. No problem, right? Dude just trying to earn a wage. I see him wrap the burrito for the guy in front of me and it looked like total ass. for reference, this what a proper, edible burrito looks like: 
This fucking guy, wraps a burrito like hes folding a fucking beach towel. He doesnt fold, tuck, then roll, like the nice latino women usually do, no. He FUCKING FOLDS THE FUCKING BURRITO LIKE A FUCKING BED SHEET. THEN JUST SMASHES THE FUCKING FOIL DOWN ON IT. THEN JUST MOVES ON, LIKE HE DIDNT JUST RUIN THAT MANS LUNCH JUST NOW IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE. WE ALL JUST WITNESSED HIM STRAIGHT UP DISRESPECT THIS MAN IN FRONT OF ME BY COMMITTING DOMESTIC ASSAULT ON HIS BURRITO. I panic. I look around. I know seconds count. Hes reaching for my burrito now. There is easily 6 other chipotle employees working. Can anyone of them roll a burrito like youre supposed to? I reach out to grab the attention of one them. "Please! Please! kind sir. Have you been trained in the ways of burrito rolling? Could you oblige a gentleman?" Its too late. Before i could react the maniacal, sado masochistic man already had my lunch in his hands. Quickly i begin to bargain with myself about what just happened in my head. "maybe he just had a bad one?" "Maybe that burrito had too much stuff in it." "this one should be fine." NO. HE DID THE EXACT SAME SHIT TO MY BURRITO. JUST FUCKING, FOLD. FOIL. SMASH. WHAT THE FUCK MAN??? WHY DID YOU JUST RUIN MY FUCKING BURRITO?? YOU GAVE MY FUCKING BURRITO TORILLA LEGS. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THAT SHIT?? I see that his manager is standing right next to him as he did this. My brain is screaming with rage at this point. Im overcome by emotions i cannot control. Im barely able to pull my wallet from my pocket as my eyes burn a hole into that mans soul. WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE ONE MOTHERFUCKER WHO CANT ROLL A FUCKING BURRITO IN CHARGE OF ROLLING BURRITOS??? WHAT OTHER JOBS ARE MORE IMPORTANT FOR YOUR MORE SENIOR WORKERS TO BE COMPLETING RIGHT NOW THAN COMPLETING THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP OF THE ONE THING YOUR ESTABLISHMENT IS BUILT SOLELY TO PREPARE??? IS THIS NOT A BURRITO JOINT? IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A BURRITO, IN A BURRITO JOINT, TO NOT LOOK LIKE A GUINEA PIG OF SPICED MEAT FLAILING ABOUT ON HIS BACK??? I look away. I rationalize. "you got two hands, right? pussy. Just hold that shit and eat it. Itll still make a turd." I take it back to my table. I open it up just to see how fucked it actually turned out. I tried to take a picture of it, but i couldnt. I had to use both hands to keep it together because everything was just falling out. But i let the image be burned into my head. I will never forget it. I have drawn a picture of it for your understanding of my displeasure. Attached File Im eating. Everything is just falling out. But im getting the majority of it into my gullet. I think im doing fine. Then the unthinkable happens. HALF THE FUCKING BURRITO FUCKING FALLS OUT ONTO MY JEANS AND NICE WORK SHIRT. FUCK. SHIT. CUNT. FUCK. IM GONNA BURN THIS FUCKING PLACE TO THE GROUND. TO THE FUCKING GROUND. I SWEAR IT!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHGHHHHHHHH! FUCK! Throw the shit in the trash. go back to work. Never eating at chipotle again. |
 Chipotle | Sebastian Maniscalco: Aren’t You Embarrassed? |
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That dude is hilarious.
And OPs rant is 10/10. Best way to eat chipotle is to cut the burrito in 1/2 and dump it into the bowl. Then eat it normally (with occasional bites of tortilla). |
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It's been done before...
https://medium.com/@luckyshirt/dear-guy-who-just-made-my-burrito-fd08c0babb57 |
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Quoted:
It's been done before... https://medium.com/@luckyshirt/dear-guy-who-just-made-my-burrito-fd08c0babb57 Quoted:
It's been done before... https://medium.com/@luckyshirt/dear-guy-who-just-made-my-burrito-fd08c0babb57 Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. 
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Quoted:
0/10. Nice passive aggressive post. You watched the guy screw it up, and then complain here. Why didn't you stop it in the act or complain to them there? |
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Quoted:
I eat ALOT of hot sauce. Its kindof part of my daily routine regardless if i go to chipotle. Quoted:
Quoted:
Enjoy your bloody diarrhea. |