Farts > General Discussion

Posted: 10/28/2011 10:57:46 AM EDT

Does anyone else fart around the wife just to piss her off?

Posted: 10/28/2011 10:58:42 AM EDT

[#1]

I don't fart around the wife.

It's the kitty. Bad kitty.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:00:14 AM EDT

[#2]

Only when I know they're gonna be a noxious fumes from hell.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:01:23 AM EDT

[#3]

Air poop thread, IBTL.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:02:31 AM EDT

[#4]

I do. And it does piss her off. Especially when it wakes her up from a sound sleep.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:05:09 AM EDT

[#5]

It's especially fun when it's silent and smells like death when she's watching her stupid "real housewives of..." shows. If I have to sit around and watch some bitchy rich chicks then I'm gonna do something to alleviate the torture!

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:05:34 AM EDT

[#6]

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:06:05 AM EDT

[#7]

I give her a big hug and cut one loose.

I don't let go until it stinks so bad I have to run.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:10:17 AM EDT

[#8]

I think my dog farts around me for that purpose.
She made me leave the computer room for about two hours earlier today.

Kharn

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:12:38 AM EDT

[#9]

Uhh she farts around me and wafts it into my nose with the covers. Oh my god is it terrible too.

I have farted in her presence once. I usually don't have much of a problem with gas. She has no inhibitions though.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:17:05 AM EDT

[#10]

Not only the wife, but the friends that come over expecting the wife to wait on them hand and foot and don't lift a finger to help clean up after the festivities at the end of the evening.

Come to think of it, we don't do much entertaining anymore. Funny how things just seem to work themselves out.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:17:30 AM EDT

[#11]

I fart when we are both sitting on the couch. She can fell them before she hears them.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:18:04 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
I don't fart around the wife.

It's the kitty. Bad kitty.

Pussies don't fart... they queef.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:18:09 AM EDT

[#13]

Yea, and on her when I get the chance.

Not married yet though.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:18:58 AM EDT

[#14]

Yes.....but paybacks are hell.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:19:00 AM EDT

[#15]

I fart all the time, because it is just who I am.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:20:00 AM EDT

[#16]

My fiance has said that she acknowledges farts exist but we do NOT have to just rip them in front of each other. She has only caught me a couple times.

I'm looking forward to the honeymoon.

Honey?
Yeah?
So we are married now right?
Yeah?
Good. Brapppppppppp

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:22:18 AM EDT

[#17]

We have been farting on or at each other and laughing about it since day one. That's how you know you found the right one.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:25:17 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

We have been farting on or at each other and laughing about it since day one. That's how you know you found the right one.

This

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:36:55 AM EDT

[#19]

Our society is cheap and vulgar I find myself being polite just out of vulgarity overload.

So no, never.

Posted: 10/28/2011 11:45:36 AM EDT

[#20]

I actually considered buying a bunch of old vacuum cleaner hoses and weaving an intricate hidden tunnel system through my home to completely baffle my bride from far flung areas of the house.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:31:11 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Does anyone else fart around the wife just to piss her off?

AROUND? nope.............

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/874826_Epic_Fart_Stories_____.html&page=19

1/3 way down.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:34:04 PM EDT

[#22]

This is one of those things I've never done intentionally. Also, in 12 years of marriage, she's never seen me take a shit.

I'm just weird like that.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:36:15 PM EDT

[#23]

In before someone posts "The Barrier" vid on YouTube.

"CUP OF CHEESE!"

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:36:45 PM EDT

[#24]

Driving.

Set the window lock.

Turn up the heat.

Release the silent burning fury.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:36:58 PM EDT

[#25]

GF told me a few days ago that I dont fart enough around her. Gave me an idea to eat a box of fiber ones before seeing her, but then i decided against it

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:37:46 PM EDT

[#26]

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:38:35 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
My fiance has said that she acknowledges farts exist but we do NOT have to just rip them in front of each other. She has only caught me a couple times.

I'm looking forward to the honeymoon.

Honey?
Yeah?
So we are married now right?
Yeah?
Good. Brapppppppppp

Sounds like she needs a dutch oven on the wedding night.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:41:25 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
This is one of those things I've never done intentionally. Also, in 12 years of marriage, she's never seen me take a shit.

I'm just weird like that.

I am right there with you Subnet. While farts are a source of much entertainment, and there has been the occasional "hey can you look at this ingrown hair on my taint and make sure it isn't infected?".....

Shitting is private time and totally off limits. And we are on 11 years. It will never change until we are ancient and can't help it.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:42:26 PM EDT

[#29]

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:44:15 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG-bDvns1Z8

Dr. Seuss got hooked on meth?

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:46:11 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
I don't fart around the wife.

It's the kitty. Bad kitty.

It does help that our dog frequently smells worse than a thiol manufacturing plant on fire.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:46:13 PM EDT

[#32]

My wife usually responds with "You flirtin' with me again?". Or, if it's really raunchy, "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME??!!!?"

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:50:30 PM EDT

[#33]

WATCH THIS LMAO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiLvvUVkdBo&feature=channel_video_title

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:51:30 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Air poop thread, IBTL.

Aww shit.

MOLECULES BRO!

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:56:18 PM EDT

[#35]

I'm unlucky enough to have some GI issues. I fart a lot. I've farted in front of my wife more times than I've started a car in my life. I don't do it on purpose, it doesn't piss her off.

Really, it's a non-issue in my house, possibly because it's so commonplace. The only time I've ever heard HER fart is in her sleep, boy, are those loud.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:56:55 PM EDT

[#36]

She doesn't mind when I pass gas. What really irks her is when I grab her by the hair, jam her face toward my ass and let one go. She also doesn't appreciate the humor in dutch ovens/covered wagons.

I don't know WTF her problem is.

Posted: 10/28/2011 12:57:25 PM EDT

[#37]

I really piss the wife off when she is taking a shit and I come in and sit on the tube to talk to her about something.

Farting and shiting is just a part of life

Posted: 10/28/2011 3:00:41 PM EDT

[#38]

I fart around everybody!