Quoted:


Let's talk about the nastiest broad you've ever nailed.  

Quoted:
Let's talk about the nastiest broad you've ever nailed.  

Quoted:


I'm willing to bet it was that banana in his avatar.
 

Quoted:
im finally going to live up to my name, whatcha wanna talk about?

Quoted:


That time at camp when you had that gay experience.

Quoted:
Met a coupe at the pool tonight that wanted to schedule a 4some

Quoted:


would prob be the stripper from burbon st in NO LA that had the tat "Dirty south Bitch" as her tramp stamp and i nailed her without a condom

it was one of those moments where you knew you where getting a STD at the moment but dident give a shit

Quoted:




LIKE A BOSS!!!!

Quoted:


i never got to go to camp, i was to busy working on the ranch

Quoted:


That time you and that other guy (who strangely looked like The Joker) were out herding sheep, and...

Quoted:


i did come down with a UTI soon after that

the doc gave me a Z pack that cleared it right up

Quoted:







i did come down with a UTI soon after that



the doc gave me a Z pack that cleared it right up

Quoted:
am i really the only drunk person on here tonight

Quoted:
am i really the only drunk person on here tonight

Quoted:


No, i've had one to many Great Lakes Brewing Company Dortmunder Gold Lagers.

As far as the nastiest chick i've ever done. She was clean and had no STDs but she was fat and fugly. She wasn't obese but she was fat, the thing with her was her face was so damn fugly. She was only 23 but her face looked like one of those pug dogs. I only did her because i was the "wingman" for my friends and took one for the team.

Quoted:
am i really the only drunk person on here tonight

Quoted:
Let's talk about the nastiest broad you've ever nailed.  

Quoted:


Oh my I have good stories about this. Really I could spend the whole night talking about various unbelievable stories about her, but here's one, all true.

I dated a girl for 3 years in highschool and didn't ever get any. At the time I we both very religious... Long story short she lied to me about something very significant, as well as was a psuedo-slut spending lots of time alone doing romantic things with other guys. So we end up breaking up, and like every stupid guy I didn't know any better and thought my heart was broken. I should mention to this point most of my masturbation experiences were like soft core strip teases at best. So off to college I go a clueless virgin, but making pretty good money for my age group. So just a few days in I meet some people and end up hanging out with them at their place where I meet one of their roommates, lets call her A. So A. and I hit it off. For any single ARFcommers looking to get their dick wet and probably catch something, she loves guns. Drinking ensues and as young college students the conversation comes sex. A. Exclaims how she doesn't believe in oral sex, because her pussy is so good no guy needs anything else. Having had 2 solid years of great blowjobs, I disagree.

Being the keen witted drunk I am, I exclaim Fuck me if I'm wrong, but nothing is better than a great BJ. A. gives me the look. So the night goes on and we continue to drink. I head to the bathroom and am pissing, and in barges A. Apparently she had a thing for dominant strong personality's. So awkwardly she walks in and tells me I'm going to fuck her in her bedroom right now. I of course decline and tell her she's going to blow me in the bathroom. I did this because I was still really nervous to have sex. She did. After cleaning up a little  we head back to the group. Later I was told she had a streak in her hair and her roommate noticed

The night goes on and finally the group disperses. She keeps me behind saying something about her getting hers (I think "whatever that means" ) and we end up in the bedroom. In a situation I thought was us alone. So things get hot and heavy and we start going at it. I thought sex was just supposed to be smelly and nasty throwing people around breaking things, spraining ankles ect. All the time I'm thinking in the back of my head "Why the fuck would people want to do this every night." 20... 10... OK like 5 minutes later its all over. She took my condom off and proceeded to consume the contents like she hadn't eaten in days.

So all this happens and I go home, almost in shame, and the next day recount this to my best friend, who is quite disturbed. So I talk to her a bit later, and (with heavy influence from my buddies) we start dating. At this point I found out who Sasha Grey is. It was her favorite porn star. She liked to act out scenes. After we had dated I found out not just the solo ones. Come to find out later she she couldn't get off without being in moderate to sever pain.  At any rate, I had no idea what was going on, so I just went with it. She was unstable in lots of ways, however the fun part was she was so insecure she thought every guy would cheat on her. Her solution to this was that you wouldn't cheat on her with no desire. So she would make it a point to make sure I got off at least 3 times a day, sometimes 4 or 5. I'm very thankful I had friends to help me out because if not who knows what I would have done , or what I would have thought.

So I learn about how abnormal all this is and what an average sex life is and all that, and try to talk to her about it. Big mistake. Big mistake. BIG.This goes on for about another week and then she drunkenly threatens to kill herself if we ever break up, which throws up a big flag, and I move towards ending things delicately.  The full on crazy comes out at this point, and thankfully I had the wisdom to GTFO with no major repercussions (which I became lots more confidant about after a std test )

I lost contact with her when I left college, but she would reconnect with me from time to time (despite my attempts to avoid her) last I heard she had been engaged 3 times in 3 years, and went to jail once for stabbing a fiancee with his pocket knife. I'll only call them good memories because I got off scott free. At any rate I went from virgin to one extreme in a week and hopefully settled on a happy medium. This all makes me so much more thankful for my very sane and only slightly kinky current girlfriend.

So, going back to part about how I thought we were alone in the room.... she video tapped us having sex. Every time we were at her place. She admits this to me drunk one night, but never gives me the tapes, let alone copys . So somewhere, When you're watching fucked up candid amateur porn, I might be the guy in it . Certainly the most awkward, and maybe the most memorable 3 weeks of my life so far.

Quoted:


No.

But the rest of us drunks aren't making a big deal out of it.

To us, it's a lifestyle, not an incident.

Quoted:


would prob be the stripper from burbon st in NO LA that had the tat "Dirty south Bitch" as her tramp stamp and i nailed her without a condom

it was one of those moments where you knew you where getting a STD at the moment but dident give a shit

Quoted:

...she got off three times in five minutes but said i had the look in my eye like i was just fucking her to fuck her

Quoted:

sorry bro im not reading all of that, its hard enough to type

but i did just fuck my wife like i use to fuck strippers and one night stands, and she dident like it to much

she got of three times in five minutes but said i had the look in my eye like i was just fucking her to fuck her

Quoted:
am i really the only drunk person on here tonight

Quoted:
This thread is awesome

Quoted:


That's what she said, before she started to cry

Quoted:
Somebody's banana needs a hug...!!!  

Quoted:


No.

But the rest of us drunks aren't making a big deal out of it.

To us, it's a lifestyle, not an incident.

Quoted: