Posted: 5/13/2008 6:42:36 PM EDT
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Today I noticed a coworker had left his cell phone in his work area and went somewhere else. I called and then hung up so it said Missed call. When he came back I saw him writing down the mysterious number who called him to call it back (its not like I havent prank called him dozens of times at work and he still doesnt know my number). When he called to find out who it was, it went like this: Me: Hello? RS: Hey, who is this? what do you want? Me: Is this R** S******? RS: Yeah? Me: I was calling to inform you that you won the drawing for the new car, but since you didn't answer, I had to draw a new name and go to the next guy, sorry! RS: What now? Me: The drawing you entered for the new car. RS: Okay? Me: Yeah, you won! RS: Really!!??? Me: Yeah, but since you didn't answer the phone, we had to draw again and call the next guy. RS: (long sad sigh) ooooohhhhhhhh, okay. Click, hung up on me. He looked sad the rest of the day until I gave a temp a pic of a crappily drawn car with "Free Car" written on it and told him to give it to RS. When I peeked around the corner, his face was red but he started laughing when he saw me laughing at him. |
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At my part time job, there is one guy that is a little less than, uh, smart. He's torn up machines and tooling doing stupid stuff, and asked tons of truly stupid and fucked up questions-I'll come back to this in a minute.* Well, "Red" decided to go buy himself a motorcycle. Red has never been on a motorcycle in his life, yet believes he is fully capable of riding a 600 pound bike on the street with no prior experience. One of the other guys decided to put up a sign announcing a "death pool" for Red. Basically, you bet on which day, out of which week, out of which month Red would crash the bike and injure or kill himself. Red took offense and called the individual an asshole... Anyway, people starting filling their names in on the calender  Someone won a while back when Red laid it over and got hurt. *Continuing from earlier..... One day at the shop, the individual who created the "death pool" and I were discussing various topics, mostly guns, when Red walks up. Red interrupted and was quite serious when he said the following.... "Guys, I really need to ask you something. Have you ever got cum in your eye?"  Both of us responded with "I've never been that close when it went off". Red starts trying to explain it away as being based on his girlfriend putting him in some odd sexual position. |