Posted: 12/3/2010 12:19:21 PM EDT
| I was introduced to this site a year ago by my b/f. I was wondering why he was spending so much time on here.I can see why, its a great site! I have a question for all the ladies. I know the answer but guess I need to see it in writing to put a closure on it. Here we go.The man I loved for three yrs was flirting with my best friend.I knew this gal for 15 yrs.Been through a lot with her.Drinking was involved,we were at the bar then our home.He suggested that I call her to invite her out because her b/f dumped her.So I did. he was telling her things like well if julie doesnt straighten up I'm going to move you in here.Note, I treated him very well.Long story short,I feel she flirted back.She liked the attention and didnt try to detour him.I moved out the next day.I also told her she was wrong and what I expected from a friend.This man was a jerk and I'm glad this happen because it opened up my eyes toward him.But my friend,gosh it hurts and I miss her so:( I feel as though she betrayed me.No they didnt sleep together but she let him carry on.Knowing i was madder then all get out. Any input on how to recover from my best friend letting it carry on would be so apprecaited. Thankyou ladies for any input! |
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Wife's BFF flirted with me quite a bit. I am sure wifey (then gf) knew it. The chick loved the married or in-relationship guys, and there was no hiding it. .
This one has lasted 25 years, so it didn't wreck things. Heck, there wasn't ever an argument about it. Yup, the women's forum pops up in active topics, so you get an outsider sometimes. If your relationship is that fragile, it is best to eject. Sounds like you did the right thing. |
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Quoted:
Are you sure? It involves the words drama queen and alcohol-induced stupidity. See? I win! Wow, sounds like you and I were thinking the same thing. Seriously, you are going to ditch a 15 year friendship and a 3 year relationship over a little bit of drunken flirting? That's a bit drastic, don't you think? Or were you looking for a reason to ditch them before this? |
I flirt pretty hard with my sisters-in-law right in front of my wife just cause it's funny. Including all sorts of 'I totally married the wrong sister', motor boating jokes etc. There was a lot of discussion about a group shower over thanksgiving. It's just screwing around-
If you took it to heart, maybe there is actually something to what he said? Underlying problems? |
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Quoted:
Oh I didn't know this was about winning? Sorry I'm bad.Drama queen isnt the issue here.I have had problems with this lady years ago.One thing I did see here, is yes I was looking for a reason to ditch the guy. You're looking for excuses to break up, then you bitch about being given the excuse in your first post on a gun board. Barb Lee Ermy is stern but correct in this case. You're a drama llama. |
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hdgirl61, can I ask how old you are? You sound very young. I know this thread didn't go the way you thought it would, but you would do well to think about why.
Your initial post said nothing about past problems with the friend or boyfriend. In fact, it gave the impression that you cared about both of them and were leaving them solely because of this transgression. Packing your things and leaving over a little alcohol induced flirting is a very dramatic action. After we pointed out that drama, you got defensive and added details previously left out. Now you are just leaving rather than discuss and possibly learn from others. This is why you're being called a drama queen. If you want to leave, no one here will beg you to stay. If you want to stay, you are more than welcome to join in the community and get to know us, and maybe even learn a few things about yourself along the way. The ladies here are diverse, colorful, opinionated, and intelligent. We don't always agree, and we sure as hell won't always tell you what you want to hear. |
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Quoted:
You sound very young. I know this thread didn't go the way you thought it would, but you would do well to think about why. Your initial post said nothing about past problems with the friend or boyfriend. In fact, it gave the impression that you cared about both of them and were leaving them solely because of this transgression. Packing your things and leaving over a little alcohol induced flirting is a very dramatic action. After we pointed out that drama, you got defensive and added details previously left out. Now you are just leaving rather than discuss and possibly learn from others. This is why you're being called a drama queen. If you want to leave, no one here will beg you to stay. If you want to stay, you are more than welcome to join in the community and get to know us, and maybe even learn a few things about yourself along the way. The ladies here are diverse, colorful, opinionated, and intelligent. We don't always agree, and we sure as hell won't always tell you what you want to hear. |
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You will need to put work into, and even at times fight for, every relationship in your life. This includes romantic relationships, friendships, and relationships with family. This truth is just the result of being human. And that's OK. Most relationships or friendships are salvageable–– it may not be too late, if you think you've made a mistake.
So here's the question: is either the friendship or the romance worth fighting for? |
| I have issues with ppl who are disrespecful.I know life isnt black and white but my best friend hit on my b/f 2 yrs ago.Yeah she was drinking and i wasn't around. If the roles were reversed I wouldve left.She didnt she likes the attention. Him,hes all up into himself thinking all the girls want him. So to answer the question,I guess I would say no.looking at the thread here.It was a reason for me to leave.They both are texting me and here I am reading the forums here. |
| Thats what I;m talling about.I'm only 21 but I grew up fast.Both my parents were cheaters.I want a man and friends who have morals and values.Drinking or not.You don't betray friends.So either one of them r not my friends.This thread helped me.I see my words in print.I just need to move on and stay busy,which I am.Was sorta slacking on finals.Its all good now. Thanks for the words. |
| Thats what I;m talling about.I'm only 21 but I grew up fast.Both my parents were cheaters.I want a man and friends who have morals and values.Drinking or not.You don't betray friends.So either one of them r not my friends.This thread helped me.I see my words in print.I just need to move on and stay busy,which I am.Was sorta slacking on finals.Its all good now. Thanks for the words. |
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Flirting with your man doesn't necessarily mean you have a bad friend, it may mean you're not on the same page as to what constitutes acceptable behavior. Some people are flirty, some people can't "pick up" on what's bothering other people. If you'd wanted to keep them, you might have had some luck talking to them both about what kind of behavior you wanted out of them. But since you were looking for an excuse to get out, the point is moot. |
| I agree.Some flirting isn't all that bad.There has to be boundries.It was like this so called friend is in competition with me.When we did go clubbing, I would normally get more attention then her.I'm a sorta more out going and enjoy laughter.When my man started this flirting bs she fed into it big time.She couldnt wait to go sleep with a old b/f.Hell the breakup wasnt a day old,lol.Yet her ex couldnt talk to me at all.See now this is drama.I suppose this is all about growing and learning.My grandma says sometimes a person just out grows friends.Different ideas and goals.My goal is to be a RN and meet a super nice man .OH have a 10 pt rack in my dream house LOL. thanks to everyone who gave their opinons.I did make up my mind. I'm moving on.Going to find a bigger gun that doesn't misfire or jam, if there is such a thing.Happy Holidays to all. |
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Quoted:
I agree.Some flirting isn't all that bad.There has to be boundries.It was like this so called friend is in competition with me.When we did go clubbing, I would normally get more attention then her.I'm a sorta more out going and enjoy laughter.When my man started this flirting bs she fed into it big time.She couldnt wait to go sleep with a old b/f.Hell the breakup wasnt a day old,lol.Yet her ex couldnt talk to me at all.See now this is drama.I suppose this is all about growing and learning.My grandma says sometimes a person just out grows friends.Different ideas and goals.My goal is to be a RN and meet a super nice man .OH have a 10 pt rack in my dream house LOL. thanks to everyone who gave their opinons.I did make up my mind. I'm moving on.Going to find a bigger gun that doesn't misfire or jam, if there is such a thing.Happy Holidays to all. What are you shooting now? There's lots of guns that don't jam, but operator error is the usual cause. I don't have problems with most autos, but for some reason, I had a ton of issues with my Kahr. I'd hand it off to someone else and since they had no issues, I had to conclude it was me. If I'd had problems with other autos, I'd have switched to a revolver, but since it just seemed to be a mismatch between me and that Kahr, I just switched autos. My Taurus PT709 slim's FTEs are another story, gun's fault, not mine. |