Posted: 10/28/2005 2:42:27 AM EDT
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The Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory Just as all numbers can be reduced to their prime factors, all human accomplishments and endeavors can be broken down to their base motivators. Among the motivators behind all efforts in human history are Hot Naked Chicks. This concept may, at first blush, seem to be a juvenile or even farcical view of the world, but it is borne out by serious study and research. From the very first recorded event in the human era, the downfall of man in the Garden of Eden, Hot Naked Chicks have played a pivotal role in mankind’s history. Napoleon Bonaparte threw three continents and two oceans into turmoil and savagery for twenty years to satisfy not just his lust for power, but also his desire to impress Josephine. Even small, commonplace, seemingly insignificant events engendered by the hand of man have at their root Hot Naked Chicks. Teenaged boys do not spend hours everyday practicing guitar just to hear yet another rendition of Stairway to Heaven. Rather, they know that Jimmy Page has spent everyday of his life up to the hips in Hot Naked Chicks, and they want to follow in his footsteps. Some incomprehensible or confusing aspects of history become much more understandable when viewed through the prism of the Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory. The first Homo neanderthalensis to stand upright, sharpen a stick and go out in pursuit of a saber-toothed tiger was undoubtedly trying to impress a Hot Naked Chick, either with his bravery or with the fly tiger skin outfit he would fashion from its hide. The Montgolfier brothers knew that Hot Naked Chicks would come their way when word got out about their hot air balloon. I invite peer review of the Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory, and would be happy to answer any questions. |
Dude-Josephine, like all other Wimmenz back then had Sootikins..... Definitely NOT Hawt. 
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Hot is a relative term when it comes to Naked Chicks. One man will attempt to conquer the world to rub against a Naked Chick for whom another man wouldn't wash and wax his Camaro. Also, the popular definition of Hot has changed throughout history. At one time Hot Naked Chicks were described as "Rubenesque" or evocative of the imagery of Peter Paul Rubens, a Flemish Baroque artist of the 17th century. The objects of desire in Rubens' works were full-bodied by today's standards, where the emaciated Kate Moss is an icon of female beauty. |
It's an idea, but most men work out any "self-infatuation" in private with an issue of Swank magazine rather than finding a way over the Alps with an army of elephants or competing in kickboxing matches. |
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Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Maslow has set up a hierarchy of five levels of basic needs. Beyond these needs, higher levels of needs exist. These include needs for understanding, esthetic appreciation and purely spiritual needs. In the levels of the five basic needs, the person does not feel the second need until the demands of the first have been satisfied, nor the third until the second has been satisfied, and so on. Maslow's basic needs are as follows: Physiological Needs These are biological needs. They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction. Safety Needs When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe. Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging. Needs for Esteem When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless. Needs for Self-Actualization When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization. The hierarchic theory is often represented as a pyramid, with the larger, lower levels representing the lower needs, and the upper point representing the need for self-actualization. Maslow believes that the only reason that people would not move well in direction of self-actualization is because of hindrances placed in their way by society. He states that education is one of these hindrances. He recommends ways education can switch from its usual person-stunting tactics to person-growing approaches. Maslow states that educators should respond to the potential an individual has for growing into a self-actualizing person of his/her own kind. Ten points that educators should address are listed: 1. We should teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves and to hear their inner-feeling voices. 2. We should teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens. 3. We should help people discover their vocation in life, their calling, fate or destiny. This is especially focused on finding the right career and the right mate. 4. We should teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life, and if people are open to seeing the good and joyous in all kinds of situations, it makes life worth living. 5. We must accept the person as he or she is and help the person learn their inner nature. From real knowledge of aptitudes and limitations we can know what to build upon, what potentials are really there. 6. We must see that the person's basic needs are satisfied. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs. 7. We should refreshen consciousness, teaching the person to appreciate beauty and the other good things in nature and in living. 8. We should teach people that controls are good, and complete abandon is bad. It takes control to improve the quality of life in all areas. 9. We should teach people to transcend the trifling problems and grapple with the serious problems in life. These include the problems of injustice, of pain, suffering, and death. 10. We must teach people to be good choosers. They must be given practice in making good choices. Competing theory would state that Naked Hot Chicks is 3rd on the list..... |
speak for yourself, dude  Although Swank is probably cheaper than feeding an army of elephants...
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Physiological and Safety needs are regularly sacrificed to get Hot Naked Chicks. Wars are fought, warm jackets are given up on cold days, risky pastimes are undertaken, perilous journeys are begun, questionable vegetarian meals are consumed by men with only one need in the forefront of their minds. Maslow was thinking of all the Hot Naked intellectual Chicks he'd be able to pull when he submitted his Hierarchy for publishing. |
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It all boils down to testosterone. Without it, Hot Naked Chicks would have no appeal. Therefore motivation to excel in your career (creating a more appealing you) would not exist. The desire to do dangerous stuff would not exist, hell even basic hygiene would not exist. I think it's testosterone.... |
Testosterone and human male brain function are at the root (so to speak) of the Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory, certainly. Social structure also plays a part, as do peer pressure and vanity. Saying that a hormone alone is responsible for the Stuka divebomber, the Shelby Cobra and the Kahlua Mudslide is a bit narrow. |
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Maslow was clearly writing about the Hot Naked Chick theory, but in code: Physiological Needs "These are biological needs. " Yep, that'd be Hot Naked Chicks, or HNC to save some typing. Safety Needs " Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe." Yep, HNC have those parts that make you feel all safe & sound. Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness HNC through & through, or not, in the case of TRG Needs for Esteem HNC's make you feel better about yourself, and make you look good in the eyes of others. Again, HNC are the clear primary source of esteem. Needs for Self-Actualization To excerpt, "Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was 'born to do.'" . Considering we risk everything in the pursuit of HNC, make utterly stupid choices when pursuing HNC, and can't necessarily otherwise explain why we must have HNC, it is pretty much a given that we were born to chase HNC, or in otherwords, HNC are what we were born to do. Yep, Maslow's hierarchy is about the Hot Naked Chicks. |
From Al Pacino's climactic rant in the movie The Devil's Advocate:
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Excellent, great movie! |
Maybe she had other skills?  Pics of Josephine please so we can decide hot or not! |
She was a definate surprise to other society ppl. She was relatively old, and from most reports was plain at best, definately not a hot chick... |
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I have always referred to this topic as.....POP (Power of the Pussy)! What men will do for that thing and the power it has over us. You can fight it all you want, but in the end...you'll do just about anything to get it! Funny thing is....we spend the first 9 months of our lives trying to get out, then the rest of our years trying to get back in!! lol |
This phenomenon is not actually a part of the Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory, except insofar as this rarely occurs in the vicinity of Hot Naked Chicks themselves. |
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I totally agree with Jarhead. HNC are at the root of most things “man” • Why do we strive to succeed in careers? Money? Close Power? Also close. Making up for any shortcomings to impress HNC’s? …Bingo! • Why be physically fit? Strength? Close General health? You keep telling yourself that Impress HNC’s from across the room? Yep • Nice cars and fancy bling bling? More making up… • Open the door…let be the first in/out of elevator? HNC Show me a situation that’s “man” oriented not rooted in The Unified Hot Naked Chicks Theory and I'll show you a man in denial. |
Your Majesty, Your Holiness, Members of the Committee, ladies and gentlemen. I am very happy to be here with you today to receive...
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