Posted: 6/22/2013 6:27:26 AM EDT
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I have been going to a small-town library for the past 15 years. During that time, I struck up a friendship with one of the assistant librarians. She likes Sci-Fi and horror, as I do, and she goes an extra effort to get me books on loan that they don't have. We always had some good chats about books and life in general. I noticed I hadn't seen her at the library for about six months but didn't think much about it.
I ran into her today at a grocery store and she had lost a lot of weight and looked like death itself. If you have ever seen a pic of a concentration camp person, that is the exact deal I'm talking about. She was always a slim woman but this is way beyond that. I said hi to her and she recognized me just fine. I did not comment on her appearance. From my conversations with her in the past, I do not believe she has family or a husband. She is, or was a smoker, since I have seen her outside the library lighting up. She looks like someone that is dying but I don't know that 100% Would it be inappropriate for me to contact her through the library and offer to help her on things on like grocery runs or just to help her in other ways? My wife is on-board with our involvement with this. I got to thinking that if I was alone with no family, I would want someone to talk to and help out on the basics of life. Since I don't know her full name and address, I was going to ask the library to give her my name and number and see if she wants any contact. |
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Leaving your name and number with the library so she can contact you is a good idea. If she does contact you, you might want to mention your wife just so she knows for sure you are aboveboard. (Not implying anything about your integrity, just that there are a lot of creeps out there.)
There are a lot of support groups for terminally ill people. So even if she has no family and is dying, her needs may be taken care of--all except one. Sometimes you just need to know a friend cares--not a volunteer or a paid employee or a fellow sufferer but a friend. You just might make a big difference in her life. And don't feel bad if she doesn't contact you. I've had offers of help when I was down and out that I never took the people up on. But just knowing they cared helped a lot. Good on you and your wife. You're doing the right thing. |
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Quoted:
Why didn't you: "Hey, I haven't seen you at the library in a while, how are things?" If she wanted to tell you, she would have taken the opening.  I was sort of stunned by her appearance. Inside my head I was scrambling for something to say that wouldn't be offensive. Ended up just saying hi. But I called the library yesterday to give them my info. They did inform me she was on medical leave so something is up. |