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Posted: 3/26/2023 7:26:06 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Some of you might get the blues If you woke up to this news I guess I should have read the clues but I just found out my cat moved It seems she didn’t take it well That I bought some food I found on sale She kicked some rocks and flicked her tail but I didn’t know she was bout to bail She grabbed her things then away she went and killed a mole to cover rent She dropped it on my neighbors steps and right into her lap she lept My neighbor rubbed it in this morn With squinted eye and a graceful scorn Then called her friends and filled them in about my unknown feline sin She told them all I’m no good and made me the talk of the neighborhood I’ve an empty wallet and a broken heart My fridge won’t cool and my truck won’t start It seems my woes have just begun But at least my neighbor’s having fun Sharing life with my traitor cat Who’s eating Sheba and getting fat It's evolving and getting better. Try weaving in something about prison, trains, or your momma. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 7:30:06 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's evolving and getting better. Try weaving in something about prison, trains, or your momma. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Some of you might get the blues If you woke up to this news I guess I should have read the clues but I just found out my cat moved It seems she didn't take it well That I bought some food I found on sale She kicked some rocks and flicked her tail but I didn't know she was bout to bail She grabbed her things then away she went and killed a mole to cover rent She dropped it on my neighbors steps and right into her lap she lept My neighbor rubbed it in this morn With squinted eye and a graceful scorn Then called her friends and filled them in about my unknown feline sin She told them all I'm no good and made me the talk of the neighborhood I've an empty wallet and a broken heart My fridge won't cool and my truck won't start It seems my woes have just begun But at least my neighbor's having fun Sharing life with my traitor cat Who's eating Sheba and getting fat It's evolving and getting better. Try weaving in something about prison, trains, or your momma. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 7:32:28 PM EDT
[#3]
The puss just left and I feel a mess.
Gathered her toys left for some boys next door. Kicking rocks at breakfast and stomping off. Neighbor next-door said that cat had enough of and and is not my puss puss!! Not your Puss Puss purring on my leg Not your Puss Puss, purring on my leg She now prefers my house instead! Not your Puss Puss, purring on my leg Because she prefers my house instead!! |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 8:22:07 PM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 3/26/2023 8:29:06 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's evolving and getting better. Try weaving in something about prison, trains, or your momma. I was drunk the my cat went missing I didn’t know she had packed up and moved When I found out I thought I’d go get her But I tripped on my sons toy train My mama went to get me some band aids For the scratch I got on my knee I told her to wait cause it was raining So we drank all my whiskey and sang: “Goodbye cat, Goodbye kitty I broke my sons train, What a pity After all of the pain that you’ve caused me I should roast you in rice with teriyaki!” |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 9:17:23 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I've read stories about cats coming back to a home after a year or so. They walk in and act like they never left. I had one that did that. She left for several months. Thought the coyotes or something got her. One day she came prancing up the drive way like she never left. We’ve had some good cats. We’re down to two now. An old moma cat and a stray that wondered up when she was just a few weeks old. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 9:24:27 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was drunk the my cat went missing I didn’t know she had packed up and moved When I found out I thought I’d go get her But I tripped on my sons toy train My mama went to get me some band aids For the scratch I got on my knee I told her to wait cause it was raining So we drank all my whiskey and sang: “Goodbye cat, Goodbye kitty I broke my sons train, What a pity After all of the pain that you’ve caused me I should roast you in rice with teriyaki!” Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: It's evolving and getting better. Try weaving in something about prison, trains, or your momma. I was drunk the my cat went missing I didn’t know she had packed up and moved When I found out I thought I’d go get her But I tripped on my sons toy train My mama went to get me some band aids For the scratch I got on my knee I told her to wait cause it was raining So we drank all my whiskey and sang: “Goodbye cat, Goodbye kitty I broke my sons train, What a pity After all of the pain that you’ve caused me I should roast you in rice with teriyaki!” Now yer talkin'. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 9:36:38 PM EDT
[#8]
Cats are not loyal. One of my barn cats is currently living with my closest neighbor. About a half mile away, she just walked into their house and made herself at home.
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Posted: 3/26/2023 9:49:06 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Cats don't like anyone, they just hate some people less than others. That's absolutely not true. |
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Posted: 3/26/2023 9:53:06 PM EDT
[#10]
This is hilarious.
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Posted: 3/27/2023 7:16:35 PM EDT
[#11]
That traitor cat was standing on my porch when I got home meowing for food. I told her to go home and eat.
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Posted: 3/27/2023 7:20:57 PM EDT
[#12]
Is this one of those threads where OP says he's thinking about taking her back, GD says "hold fast", and then we never hear from him again?
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Posted: 3/27/2023 7:47:01 PM EDT
[#13]
R-U-N-N-O-F-T!
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Posted: 3/27/2023 7:53:25 PM EDT
[#14]
Lyrics to The Cat Came Back
Old Mister Johnson had troubles of his own He had a yellow cat that wouldn't leave its home; He tried and he tried to give the cat away, He gave it to a man goin' far, far away. But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea So he gave it to a woman going up in a balloon, He told him for to take it to the man in the moon; The balloon came down about ninety miles away, Where the balloon is, where i can't say But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea So he gave it to a man going way out West, Told him for to take it to the one he loved the best; First the train hit the curve, then it jumped the rail, Not a soul was left behind to tell the gruesome tale. But the cat came back the very next day, The cat came back, we thought he was a goner But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away. Away, away, yea, yea, yea |
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Posted: 3/27/2023 8:29:06 PM EDT
[#15]
It was all that I could to keep from crying...........
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Posted: 3/27/2023 8:35:07 PM EDT
[#16]
The neighbors got a cat but there was some issue the husband didn’t/want it like it so it became an outdoor cat. A week later it’s in our yard and two weeks later it’s best buds with the dog and laying in people’s laps. Couldn’t get her to come and be a house cat. About a year later, a coyote got her and ate her head
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Posted: 3/27/2023 8:41:34 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That traitor cat was standing on my porch when I got home meowing for food. I told her to go home and eat. Why do they always try to come back? |
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Posted: 3/27/2023 9:43:31 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The neighbors got a cat but there was some issue the husband didn’t/want it like it so it became an outdoor cat. A week later it’s in our yard and two weeks later it’s best buds with the dog and laying in people’s laps. Couldn’t get her to come and be a house cat. About a year later, a coyote got her and ate her head Just her head? That’s messed up. |
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Posted: 3/27/2023 9:47:59 PM EDT
[#19]
The ARFCOM curse strikes again. Your Pussy ran out on you.
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Posted: 3/27/2023 9:51:48 PM EDT
[#20]
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Posted: 3/27/2023 10:07:30 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That traitor cat was standing on my porch when I got home meowing for food. I told her to go home and eat. Based |
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Posted: 3/27/2023 10:11:28 PM EDT
[#22]
Cats do choose their owners (servants).
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Posted: 3/27/2023 10:14:12 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: One of the feral cats we feed did the same thing. We were gone camping for a week and she didn't show back up. We thought maybe she was munched by coyotes, but the people at the dude ranch next to us told us she was over there. That's where she came from originally when her mother carried her and her litter mates over one at a time. One time she got trapped on the other side of the creek after the little bridge got washed out. She actually swam across the creek to get home to us. We don't know what triggered her leaving. you went camping for a week. That's why. |
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Posted: 3/28/2023 2:59:45 AM EDT
[#24]
This thread is pure gold. Shit like this is why I keep coming back to GD.
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Posted: 3/28/2023 3:58:24 AM EDT
[#25]
Set to Hank's Family Tradition.
I'm not very proud Of my kitty's fame It's just not that amusing That I keep getting the blame. Trying to think it over Why the hell that shit left me ditched On second thought that feline is just An old mangy bitch. And ol' flipflop asks "Why do I drink?" "Why do I have this luck? "Why do I care about Another pussy that's fucked up?" Over and over She treats me just like her waiter While all those mean ol' church-goin' hags go "There goes that loser." |
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Posted: 3/28/2023 4:35:16 AM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 3/28/2023 4:41:55 AM EDT
[#27]
I had a cat show up a couple years ago and I started giving it leftovers and scraps from when I was trimming meat. He was really young when snowmageddon hit temperature dropped to zero, so I figured if a Texas cat can survive that, he can survive anything.
He would hang out at several houses on our street, and he got to where he would let me pet him and he wouldn't freak out and run away quite some time ago. Apparently he started telling some of his friends, and we've had about eight different cats show up. I think he was using my food as bait to get laid, because one day my wife came home and they were fucking right in the middle of the driveway. He looked over his shoulder at my wife and he didn't stop fucking until she blew the horn  Now I'm setting out food for him and his girlfriend who recently had kittens (no idea where). I told my wife that she's finally a grandmother and she called me an idiot 
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Posted: 3/28/2023 9:16:22 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That traitor cat was standing on my porch when I got home meowing for food. I told her to go home and eat. 
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Posted: 3/28/2023 6:59:59 PM EDT
[#29]
Y’all ain’t gonna believe this.
We have a new cat. Some ugly, fat head, tomcat decided to live here. What the crap, man. |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 2:52:44 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Usually, when pussy leaves, they take all their shit and half of yours, as well. You got off lucky, OP.  |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 3:15:01 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Y’all ain’t gonna believe this. We have a new cat. Some ugly, fat head, tomcat decided to live here. What the crap, man.  Thats the cat distribution system in effect. |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 4:31:39 AM EDT
[#32]
It's a cat.
It did you a favor. ETA: It's a traitor because it came back. |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 4:32:46 AM EDT
[#33]
Cats belong in the barn or outside. As long as they're not in the house, and they are killing rodents, they can do whatever they want.
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Posted: 3/29/2023 8:14:51 AM EDT
[#34]
You left out Pick Up Truck. Gotta have something in a country song about your pickup truck even if you don’t own one. Not just truck, but pick-up-truck.
Funny how I heard the late Tim Wilson singing all these songs as I read them. |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 8:22:02 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You left out Pick Up Truck. Gotta have something in a country song about your pickup truck even if you don’t own one. Not just truck, but pick-up-truck. Funny how I heard the late Tim Wilson singing all these songs as I read them. And it's gotta be an OLD pickup. |
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Posted: 3/29/2023 3:41:09 PM EDT
[#36]
Nice avatar
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Posted: 3/30/2023 5:46:57 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nice avatar Agreed, thanks to you. :) |
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