Posted: 6/6/2003 12:35:27 PM EDT
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Hold pork in your hands, let them dry, visit a local mosque and shake hands with and hug unsuspecting Muslims? |
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If anything you are encouraging others to embrace diversity and become more tolerant of those around them. But really though, if you want to help our Muslim cousin's broaden their tolerance of us and encourage them to be more open-minded of others, they REALLY need to be told they've just touched pig remains. |
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Before the war started I posted this but it's good for one more time. Why don't we take the DNA from a pig and breed it with a sheep. We would then take a number of these sheepigs and breed them together to make a fairly large herd. All during the experiment we document the work on video. Then we take these sheepigs and release them into herds all over Iraq letting them spread their pig genes around. After a few months we release the video tapes of the whole operation. The faithful would be killing themselves, we'd set their sheep econonmy on end, and hopefully starve a few wankers to death saving us the trouble from hunting them down. [:D] |
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A little pig fat, used in the bread you bake that you suddenly start to deliver to the local mosque for after-prayer treats (out of the goodness of your heart, of course!) can be a wonderful thing. Wipe right handed with cheap toilet paper before shaking hands with right handed muslims. Washing (before the handshake) is optional, but mandatory afterwards. Open up Bob's Bacon Bar right next to the mosque. Serve fish to the muslims after their mosque services....fish breaded in ground-up pork rinds and fried in bacon grease. CJ |
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Quoted: That's almost as cool as when the kid at McDonald's spits in your hamburger because you have an NRA sticker on your car. Nah...no one would get one of my Pork Projectiles unless they were doing something terroristic. And if they were, I'd get to send them off to their version of hell with my own special blend of herbs and spices. |
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my wife and father in law breed pigs for the kids to show in the livestock shows around here...........i've got all the greatest stuff, let me know what you need. afterbirth? semen? feces? pieces? meat? live pigs? i still think we should just buy up half the piglet pork crop (prices suck now anyway), stick little parachutes on their asses and airdrop them wherever we have muslium problems......... |
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Quoted: That makes me think. Why couldn't you put a little pork fat/bacon grease in a batch of bullet lube? You wouldn't need much, I wouldn't think. Q(Bullet Caster)S Almost this exact thing was done long ago, and caused the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857 in India. [url]http://65.107.211.206/history/empire/1857.html[/url] |
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Quoted: Quoted: That's almost as cool as when the kid at McDonald's spits in your hamburger because you have an NRA sticker on your car. Nah...no one would get one of my Pork Projectiles unless they were doing something terroristic. And if they were, I'd get to send them off to their version of hell with my own special blend of herbs and spices. That I got no beef with. It's just the thought of doing that to someone who just happened to be a muslim, but who might also be a red-blooded American, whose son just got back from the 4th ID in Iraq or something. But I think we'd all agree on that. |
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Quoted: It's just the thought of doing that to someone who just happened to be a muslim, but who might also be a red-blooded American, whose son just got back from the 4th ID in Iraq or something. But I think we'd all agree on that. DK-prof, that can't be possible can it? ALL muslims are evil and Islam is solely a religion of hate, right? Its pretty disheartening to hop on the board and read such shit from people whom you previously thought were more intelligent than that. Yes yes, we all get it, bacon and muslims. Ha ha. |
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Quoted: DK-prof, that can't be possible can it? ALL muslims are evil and Islam is solely a religion of hate, right? Its pretty disheartening to hop on the board and read such shit from people whom you previously thought were more intelligent than that. Yes yes, we all get it, bacon and muslims. Ha ha. Hey, I'm really sorry. Handshake and hug? |
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Quoted: Almost this exact thing was done long ago, and caused the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857 in India. [url]http://65.107.211.206/history/empire/1857.html[/url] From the link: The insurrection was sparked by the introduction of cartridges [b][red]rumored[/red][/b] to have been greased with pig or cow fat. In other words, some backwards-assed Muslims (worried about "unclean" pig fat) and Hindus (worried about fat from "sacred" cows) who went on an unprecedented (for the time) killing spree, murdering not just the soldiers they were rebelling against, but every man, woman and child of England they could lay hands on. They held British children by their ankles and swung their heads against trees until the skulls were crushed, leaving eyes and hair in the bark. They hung children on hooks in rows and let them kick as they bled to death, leaving bloody hand and footprints. One redoubt that eventually fell to the Sepoys was Cawnpore. What the relieving troops found when they fought their way to the site left them sickened and enraged, giving their war on terrorism the implacability that 09.11.01 gave America. The Highlanders knelt in a room where hundreds of women and children were butchered before being thrown into a well and swore an oath to kill a hundred Sepoys for every British subject killed. Captured Sepoys were taken to this room and forced to lick a foot of blood from the floor before being dispatched. In short, the Sepoys went on their murderous rampage over a rumor, not a fact, and the rumor was over cartridges the Sepoys themselves would be issued, not cartridges that would be directed at them. By their atrocity, they got to taste tons of British lead and yards of British steel. Fuck, isn't history great? There's always a lesson in there somewhere. |
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Quoted: Quoted: DK-prof, that can't be possible can it? ALL muslims are evil and Islam is solely a religion of hate, right? Its pretty disheartening to hop on the board and read such shit from people whom you previously thought were more intelligent than that. Yes yes, we all get it, bacon and muslims. Ha ha. Hey, I'm really sorry. Handshake and hug? Eh, I'll get over it. I wasn't trying to single you out or anything, it just so happens that yours is the latest in the line of lame bacon/muslim threads. |
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Quoted: it would only be cool if you told them about it somehow later on An allegedly true story: A young white American couple visits Carribean island on vacation. Which one, I'm not sure. Maybe the Bahamas. Whatever. A particularly aggressive taxi driver (in this case, of African descent) attempts to pick up this couple at the airport by the very direct approach of simply not giving them the choice. He simply pulls up to them at the loading lane, gets out, and starts unceremoniously stuffing the couple's luggage in the cab. The couple promptly raises hell. It's not that they don't want a cab, it's that they don't want to have the choice FORCED on them. (How many of us would??) They retrieve their belongings and send the now angry cabbie on his way. There goes his "sure thing" fare. He doesn't usually get a refusal with this tactic. The couple gets into a different cab, operated by a POLITE driver, and off they go to a hotel. Unbeknownst to them, the first cabbie (the angry one), follows them at a discreet distance to see what hotel they're at. Later, he checks with the clerk at that hotel (which he knows) and finds out which room the couple rented. At some later point in time, a day or so later, he returns to that hotel and convinces the desk clerk (a friend) to let him get the key to that hotel room so he can "return an item the couple left in his cab" or something. Perhap not by coincidence but instead by discreet surveillance, the cabbie enters the room when the couple are not there. He does...SOMETHING. The couple returns to their room later that day, finds nothing out of place or out of the ordinary in any way, and have nothing to be suspicious of. Their vacation continues routinely and they go home in due time. Of course, they then drop off their film they shot during the vacation to get it processed. The film gets processed, and the wife picks it up, takes it home, starts looking through the prints...and at some point, immediately engages in a brief but exciting bout of PROJECTILE VOMITING. The concerned husband of course would like to know what's up with that. She wordlessly hands him the photos as she cleans up the mess with a rake, shovel, towel, vacuum cleaner, whatever. What's on the photos? First relevant frame: Happy, smiling brown face of the first cabbie, obviously taken by himself at arm's length. Second photo: The couple's toothbrushes, in their water glass, in the bathroom, where they usually are. Third photo: What can only be an extreme close up of the cabbie's buttocks, spread, with anus in clear view. Fourth photo: Same as third photo, but now with only the handles of the couple's toothbrushes protruding from the anus in question. The brush section is apparently further inside. Fifth photo: Smiling cabbie's face, with hand in view holding said toothbrushes, looking ever so slightly the worse for wear. I have it on good authority that this is a true story. The person who told it to me got it from a friend of his, who was the husband half of the couple in question. CJ |