Posted: 6/2/2011 6:19:39 AM EDT
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While 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop, with a radar gun on the other side, lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?' 'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded. The cop stammerred, 'A what?... ' 'A rectum stretcher!' 'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both of my hands in, and then I slowly, but surely keep stretching & stretching it, until it's about 6 feet.' 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked. 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...' |
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State trooper pulls over an old farmer for speeding. While the trooper is writing the ticket, he has to keep brushing away flies. Trooper finallty asks the old farmer what kind of flies are these? Farmer says, "Dung Flies" Trooper kind of looks at him funny and asks, "You calling me a pile of shit?" "Oh no I have to much respect for the law to do that, officer", replied the old farmer, "but it sure is hard to fool those flies". |
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