[ARCHIVED THREAD] - JOTD Contest (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/19/2005 6:55:16 AM EDT
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All right, it's pretty gray today! I need to hear a funny joke. Please keep it semi clean [PG 13 anyway] - winner get's 1shott's chocolate chip cookies my kids made for him. {just kidding 1shott - you're cookies are in the mail already}. Patty |
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Two Hicks Hunting, One day two hicks decided to go hunting. One of them fell over and didn't seem to be breathing. The other hick called 911 and told the operator that his friend was on the ground and he thought that he was dead. The operator said, "First make sure that he is dead." There was silence and then a shot rang out. The hick said, "okay, now what?" |
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One resident of the bayou sends his friend a beautiful parrot for his birthday. "Say, Thibideaux, did-a you get that parrot I sent you fer your birtday?" "Shore did, Mileaux. It was tasty, but a bit on the dry side." "Thibideaux! You ATE that bird?!? It could speak five languages!" "Well, Mileaux, it done shoulda said somethin'." |
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NONE of these are original. A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, however, the wife wasn’t having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there. As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled. “Jeeves,” she said. “Take off my dress.” He did this carefully. “Jeeves,” she continued, “Take off my stockings and garter.” He silently obeyed her. “Jeeves,” she then said, “Remove my bra and panties.” As he did this, the tension continued to mount. She looked at him and then said, “Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you’re fired!” It was late afternoon, and the traveling salesman stopped at a farmer's house. He knocked at the door. The farmer opened the door, took one look at the man, and said, "I see you're a salesman, and you want to stay the night. That's fine but you'll have to sleep with my daughter." The salesman said, "I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want to know how to get to Peoria." So the farmer told him, an d the salesman left. (Good one to teach little kids.  )
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As posted by me in the Michigan forum yesterday. You can insert ANY very Northern state into the story and it still works: Dear Diary: Aug 12 Moved to Upper Michigan. It is so beautiful here. The woods are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see snow covering the trees. God’s country! I love it! Oct 14 Upper Michigan is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the forest and spotted some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on the earth. This must be paradise………….. Nov 11 Deer season will start soon. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon… I love it here. Dec 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight. (I won) When the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother nature in perfect harmony. I love Upper Michigan. Dec 12 More snow last night, I love it! The snow plow did his trick again, (the rascal). A winter wonderland. I love Upper Michigan! Dec 19 More snow fell last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work on time! I’m exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow. Dec 22 More of the white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow man hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway, and then he comes roaring by. Asshole! Dec 25 “White Christmas” my busting ass! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snow plow, I swear I’ll castrate the dumb bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt this fucking ice. Dec 28 More white shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for shoveling out the driveway after “Snow Plow Harry” comes by every time. Can’t go anywhere. The car’s buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels-full 10 inches is? Jan 1 Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong again. We got 34 inches of the white shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before the fourth of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I’de broken six shovels so far shoveling all the shit he pushed in the driveway, I broke the seventh over his fucking head. Jan 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get some food. On the way back a god damn deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3000.00 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wished the hunters had killed them all last November. May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all the fucking salt they keep dumping on the roads. The car looks like a piece of shit! May 10 Moved to Arizona! I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in Upper Michigan. Enjoy! |
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A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old." The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?" She replied, "Frankly dear, your name never came up." |
you got a good point there!
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This is a list of phrases cat ownees should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard a la Bart Simpson. If you could get them to write... [xxx] is not a bed: Any book/paper my human is reading; the bathtub; anything lying on the floor that wasn't there 5 minutes ago; the box full of printer paper (especially when the printer is running!); The cake for the wedding shower. (It was a sheet cake in a box with plastic over the top. Hershey decided it made a wonderful hammock. Thanks to the plastic, no cat hair, but a fair number of smooshed frosting roses!); the car; the clean clothes basket; the computer keyboard; the crystal bowl from the people's wedding; the electric organ; the external disk drive; the grate over the floor furnace; the inside of the antique radio; inside the neighbor's car (the window down is NOT an invitation); inside the open dryer; my human's sock drawer; the mouse pad; my human's head, my next-door neighbour's Corvette; neatly stacked papers or magazines; the neighbor's flowerbed; piano strings; the pot (not hot) on the stove; the printer output tray; the sink; the stove; the top of the TV (your tail blocks the picture); the dog's belly, feet, or head; the dress my human intends to wear (Juliet will climb right on top of it, lie down and refuse to budge!); the nice afghan my human's mother crocheted for her. [xxx] is not prey/a toy: Any food, whether wrapped in something or not; Black Widow spiders; bottles of aspirin; the computer mouse; the cordless phone; the cord for my human's earphones; the curling iron; the fish in the aquarium; the fuzzy toilet cover; the hair in the shower drain; Lego pieces; my human; my human's hair; (my human's Matchbox cars are not toys. The little humans can't play with them, and neither can I); my human's necklace; my human's snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it; my human's hand, especially when it is petting me; my human's penis (see one of Robin Williams' concert tapes); my human's toes; my tail; the newspaper; open milk cartons; the pantyhose; paper clips; paper coming from the printer; phone cords; my poop; pop bottle caps; the produce ripening on the kitchen counter; the potholder, Q-tips; scarves, the sheets; the spinning jet inside the dish washer; the springy doorstop that goes dooiinnngg, especially at 4 a.m.; small children; the spoon when my human is eating cereal; toilet paper; twist-ties; the wires behind the computer and the TV set; my (female) human's nipple; the dog's tail or ears; Friskies Dental Diet dry cat food; used kleenexes; bugs (alive or dead); eye shadow; the tiny alabaster figurine my human brought from Egypt; the unused telephone jack; the Richard Simmons Food Mover; any papers, mail or magazines sitting on the table; my feline sister; my female human's bra; radio crystals; computer RAM chips; the human's troll doll, any piece of paper lying around. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist: Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, human's toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear, poodle in the house, the dog, my human's shoelaces, the other cat, the bag of Dove chocolates; the very lifelike big Beanie Baby cat; my boyfriend's little sister, who was just trying to be friendly; the hair dryer; the weight bracelets; the guys who come over to play D&D, who were just trying to be friendly. I will not climb the [xxx]: Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts, human's leg, toilet, tree, coats hanging on the coat rack; new shower curtain (the ceiling is the same as it was when I checked it out and slid down the last four NEW shower curtains). I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish: Tissues, my human's ironing, my human's comics, my brother's tail, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food, my paws, feet, tail, head, stomach, or ANY part of my body, inside or outside, with the exception of my tongue. I will not hide [xxx]: Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet; my human's condoms; a dead mouse in, the house without telling the humans; my human's watch. I will not jump on the [xxx]: Barbecue, bed at night, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night, computer keyboard, kitchen counter, my human's pregnant belly, my human's full bladder at 5:30 a.m., my little brother, the rabbit next door, stove, table, TV, shelves in the china cabinet, stack of clean laundry, tray set up in front of the TV and knock it over (along with my human's dinner). I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx]: Floor, (new white) carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor, TV, baby's mattress, kitchen counter, dining room table, big people's shoes, bathtub, my human's collection of (expensive) Nazi daggers, marble floor (acid vomit+marble =etched marble), ANYTHING when my human has guests (mostly barf), bath mat, the middle of the floor, all over the patio (even if I am a five week old kitten, because my mother showed me where to "do my business"). I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx]: Sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss' leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires, upholstered chairs, the sofa bed, on my human's back pockets while he/she is sitting in an opened back chair. (Pockets are particularly useful in providing a point of resistance for the outstretched claws, but flesh will do in a pinch.); my human's $100 science book; dog's butt, leg or face; basement door; the Turkish rug that my human brought back from Istanbul, mattress, other animals. I will not try to climb into the [xxx]: Bathtub when it is full of water, cabinet of clean dishes (the bungee cord was put there to keep me out); freezer, dishwasher, dryer, garage, refrigerator, shower while my human is bathing, washing machine. |
 This is SOO true. Used to live in northern IN. I swear those snow plows do it just to spite you. |
If that the truth.
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A man and his wife and her mother were touring Jerusalem to see all the Holy sights. Suddenly, the mother-in-law dies. The couple are faced with the task of dealing with her body. The motician tells the husband, "We can bury her here for $1,000.00...or we can arrange to have her shipped back to the US for $5,000.00." The husband thinks about it for a while and says, "Ship her back to the US. I remember hearing of a guy you buried here a while back, and he came back to life after 3 days.....I don't want to take that chance with her." |
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Okay guys, here you go. A woman had a husband who had a very disgusting habit. Every morning, as he would wake up, he would fart very loud and deep, enough to shake the windows. On Thanksgiving day she was up early to get the turkey cleaned and ready for the dinner that night. She heard him rip one, and decided to get even. She took the entrails of the turkey and stealthily put it in his underwear as he was sleeping. About 15 minutes later she hears a scream, and assumes that it's her husband finding out about the paractical joke. He walks out to her, asks about the turkey, and tells her: "Honey, this morning I farted so hard I farted my guts out. Thankfully with a little vaseline and a lot of pushing i Was able to get it all back in!" Ben |
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This is a total dupe from GD, but I love this joke (hopefully I'm retelling it accurately) A guy walks into a bar and sees two guys sitting down at the end by themselves. He asks the bartender,"Hey, isn't that GWB and Don Rumsfeld?" The bartender says,"Sure is." So the guy walks down to the end of the bar and says,"Hey, what are you two doing here?" GWB says,"We're planning WWIII" The guys says,"Really? So what are you going to do?" GWB says,"We're going to kill 140million muslims and one blond with big tits." The guy says,"Why are you going to kill a blonde with big tits?" GWB looks at Rumsfeld and says,"See, I told you nobody would care about us killing 140million muslims." |
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A boy is working at a grocery store when a man walks in and asks to buy a half head of lettuce. "We only sell whole heads of lettuce, not half heads," says the kid. But the man insists on a half head of lettuce. The boy walks to the back of the shop to get the shopowner. "Some idiot out there wants to buy half a head of lettuce," the boy tells the shopowner. Just as he does this he turns around to see the man standing right behind him. "And this gentleman would like to buy the other half," the boy says without missing a beat. The shopkeeper approves the deal and the man leaves the store. "That was quick thinking back there, young man," the shopkeeper says. "You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from?" "New Zealand, sir," replies the boy. "You're joking ! Why did you leave New Zealand?" asked the manager. The boy replied, "Oh, they're all just whores and rugby players over there." "My wife is from New Zealand!!" The boy replied, "Really! What team did she play for?" |
<---sounds like I need to make more cookies! 
ROFL  Awesome! I dont think I know any clean jokes :(
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THINGS YOU WOULD LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 23. Do I look like a people person? 24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 25. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 27. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 35. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done. 36. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 38. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 39. Oh I get it... like humor... but different. |
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds, Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! > What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" |
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A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty. The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One last point: No, Mexicans. We don't like Mexicans." Sure enough, at 8 p.m. on Thursday, the lady heard a rap at the door. She opened the door to find, in dress uniform, four exquisitely mannered, smiling black officers. Her jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together she stammered, "There must be some mistake!" "On no, madam," said the first officer. "Captain Martinez doesn't make mistakes." Sorry if it offends 
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Lil Johnny is walking down the street, whistling and tossing around a roll of duct tape. A little old man sitting on his porch says "Whatcha got there sonny?" Johnny says, "Duct tape. I'm gonna go catch me some ducks!" The old guy says "You can't catch no ducks with duct tape ya dern fool!" Johnny just keeps walking. He comes back the same route with 10 ducks all wrapped up in duct tape. The old man just shakes his head. Lil Johnny comes down the street again, this time with a roll of chicken wire under his arm. The old man asks "Whatcha doing now sonny?" Johnny tells the old man that he's got chicken wire and gonna go catch some chickens. The old man yells "You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire!" Johnny just keeps walking. He comes down the street awhile later with 5 chickens all tangled up in chicken wire. Lil Johnny goes walking down the street later that day, whistling and swinging a switch. The old man asks "Whatcha got this time, young fella?" Johnny says "Its a pussy willow!" The old man says "Wait up while I get my hat" |
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A local fire department responded to a large structure fire in town. Afterwards the fire chief is taking an inventory of his men when he notices two are missing. Unable to find them the chief rushing into the smoldering structure. In the living room he sees his two missing firearm engaging in anal sex. "What the hell are you two doing????" asks the chief. "Sorry chief but Johnson had smoke inhalation." "You're supposed to do mouth to mouth Smith!!!" "But Chief that's how it started!" |
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(patty we've never met but I'm betting your not a blonde?) Blonde joke A blonde goes speeding down the road in her little red sports car and gets pulled over by the Police, which happens to also be a blonde woman police officer. She approaches the blonde and says " I stopped you for speeding, can I see your drivers license, please? ". The blonde driver replies by saying "Sure" and proceeds to dig thru her handbag looking for it. After about 5 minutes, she starts getting frustrated and looks up at the Blonde Police woman and says " Can you tell me what it looks like? ". The Police woman then says " Well its little and square and your picture is on it." "Oh" said the blonde driver and retrieves a compact from her purse and hands it to the Police woman. The blonde officer opens it up, looks at it and then closes it and hands it back to the woman and says "OK, you can go now. I didn't know you were a Police Officer ". |
I have my blond momments!  *ETA* Great joke! I love Blonde jokes! |
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Visuals: Growl.  "I am relevant! I am relevant!"  Just in case you need it.  Only your first shot matters.  "Mountain lions don't smoke marijuana!"  "We all favorite carrot game."  "Would YOU buy this for your kids?"  "...could there possibly be a LESS necessary sign than one that basically states: 'Please do not sit on the giant chainsaw?' " |
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There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance. As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts. "Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke "Ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!" "You're right, amigo!" says Pepe. So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?" With his ! dying breath Pepe calls out... "Ugh, run, amigo, run!! Ees not a Bacon Treee. "Ees" "Ees" "Ees... a.... Ham bush" |
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Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of the story." "This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside." "I had to break a window to get my keys. In doing so I tore my suit and had to go upstairs and change Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. When I was about three blocks from the store, I got a flat tire. Being late, my usual parking place had been taken and I had to drive around to find another one. When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people impatiently waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the dang phone was ringing off the hook." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was still ringing When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. All of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. ...... and believe me Mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her." |
| A young bride to be asks her mother how she can make her first sexual encounter less painful. The mother tells her to place a small piece of liver in her vagina before sex, and that if she does, she won't feel any pain. That night, before going to bed, the new bride steals away to the bathroom and takes a small piece of liver from her overnight case. She places it in her vagina and returns to the bedroom, where her eager husband proceeds to savage her with his meat axe. True to her mother's words, she didn't feel any pain. The next morning, she awakens to find her husband missing and a note pinned to his pillow. The note reads: Dear Michelle, I love you so very much but after I saw what I did to you last night, I couldn't bear to ever face you again. PS. Your c_nts in the sink. |
Funny joke but  for the naughty c word.
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My apologies. Edited for PG-13. Good grief. |
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A French Lt. is taking his platoon on patrol when his scouts come running back and say "Sir, zere's a US Marine standing in ze way of ze road". The Lt. scoffs and sends a fire team to go investigate and remove the Marine. They approach the Marine and he begins to head for a small ridge on the side of the road and motions for them to follow. As the rest of the platoon advances and takes cover they hear yelling and screaming. The Marine emerges a couple minutes later and dusts himself off and again stands in the middle of the road. The Lt. curses and calls for a squad to remove the trooper. He again heads down to small ridge and they follow. Once again there is blood-curdling screaming and weeping. And AGAIN the Marine emerges and dusts himself off. Bewildered and pissed off, the Lt. sends all but his platoon Sgt. down and says "Eliminate ze motherfu**er". They run towards him and again follow him to the ridge. The screaming begins again and suddenly a specialist comes running up, bloody, his cammies all mangled. The Lt. is in shock and says "What ze hell is going on out zere soldier?" Gasping for breath the soldier replies, "Its a trap, sir!! Zhere's two of zem!." |