Posted: 2/6/2007 5:04:14 AM EDT
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Probably a dupe, but here goes: Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life? Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30. When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer. G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures. If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction. If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer. During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes. If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident. Jack Bauer makes onions cry. Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep. When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says "You Win" and turns itself off again. Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way. Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. Oil and Water don't mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to. Jack Bauer once downloaded the entire Internet onto his PDA. The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because Jack Bauer was in LA. Jack Bauer doesn't eat honey, he chews bees. |