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Whatever woman can tolerate me, would have to be a keeper. To tolerate being with me, a woman HAS to have those qualities that would make her less likely to be a money grubbing bitch. I dont make much money,... so no shark woman is going to be marrying me with the intent of divorcing me to take half my shit. I'm not an extremely sexy dude... heck I'm quite homely.... so she'd have to be completely unshallow. I don't drive a fast car, I'm not a "bad boy", etc... So I wouldn't likely attract the "wrong girl". Any woman who would fall for me... has to be in it for love and not some ulterior motive. |
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"A man would be better off downing ten shots of tequila and stumbling blindfolded through a minefield than getting married."
Trying to find rebuttals to his arguments that don't involve attacking the messenger rather than the message. He'd not a good speaker at all and doesn't provide any statistics. Beyond that, he's giving voice to my thoughts. Seems like more of a rant. Provide some statistics, and I'd like it even more. |
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There is some truth to what he says, on the surface. However, most of it goes out the window, IF you choose your mate wisely. Don't pick someone you think you can mold into what you want. Pick someone who already is, the way you would want them to be. The best way to have a good partner is to BE a good partner. Don't be blind to red flags. Don't dismiss bad character or behavior. Be picky, selective, discriminating. Spend at least a couple years before even thinking about marraige. Don't have sex with a person would wouldn't be at least considering making kids with and having at least a 20 year commitment to. It's not that difficult IF you choose a good person. It is a living hell on Earth, if you don't. It may not be in vogue to judge people but it is very necessary if you want to be happy. I'm a very harsh critic and judge. I chose well. 
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Video You're dismissed. Actually, you're more than welcome to stay, I only said that to make Blitzen happy. By the way, as long as we're chatting, I know you had an unfortunate marital experience. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you'll be able to get past it and be happy again. I did and I know you can too, if you don't fall into the trap of bitterness and self-pity. My sincere best wishes... Jane |
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Video You're dismissed. Actually, you're more than welcome to stay, I only said that to make Blitzen happy. By the way, as long as we're chatting, I know you had an unfortunate marital experience. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you'll be able to get past it and be happy again. I did and I know you can too, if you don't fall into the trap of bitterness and self-pity. My sincere best wishes... Jane Marriage is like going to Vegas and playing Roulette. You know the Game is Rigged in favor of the House Yet Men play it anyway in desperate hope that they will be the exception and will 'Win'. But in truth the way the Economics of Marriage and the almost inevitable Divorce the Family Court System and Laws favor the Woman. And Women know this and really press it to their advantage. And that is just the Legal Framework...Marriage/Divorce ends up forcing Men to become Indentured Servants through Alimony and Child Support. We lose our Second Amendment Rights whenever a Restraining Order is Issued or their is a Misdemeanor Conviction of Domestic Violence. And Women are certainly not above LYING when it comes to allegations of Domestic Violence Then there is this whole psychology that is pervasive in Women that they are ENTITLED to Money earned by Men. And that the Men are like a good Plow Horse: they are "Property". There is NOTHING that Women have to offer to Men on why they are better off being Married instead of Single Cleaning - I can Hire a Maid to come in twice a Month - $200 per Month Cooking - Hire a Mexican Gal to come in once per week - $300 per Month Sex - Hooker goes for around $300 at once per week - $1200 per Month Companionship - Hanging out with the Guys - Cost: Free Peace of Mind - Priceless Total Cost per Month: $1700 this translates to about $20,000 in Services that a Wife Provides Naturally over time Sex typically drops to zero so...the value of Wifely Services degrades over time and the Bitching and Unhappiness goes Up. On the Other hand...if I am pulling in 100K per Year to a Woman who desires to be a Housewife..her incentive is a Pay increase of 30K per Year WHEN the Divorce Happens She is entitled to 50K per Year in Spousal Support plus Half of all Assets Never mind the Fact that she did NOT pay for the Items directly. And who pays the Income Taxes? The Guy pays...so if he is getting Taxed at 30% his Gross 100K becomes 70K then he has to pay 50K in Alimony so he is now left with 20 K to live on. The Government loves it because after they Tax the Guy on Alimony he is going to have to Pay the Ex.. they turn around and Tax the ExWife...so in effect there is Double Taxation going on on that 50K of Alimony. If the Marriage lasted 10 years or more and the Divorce occurs in California, Conneticut, Massachusetts, etc... she is entitled to receive Alimony for LIFE or until the Husband Dies. So is there Bias in the system? Well...over 30% of all Households it si the Wife who is earning the most Money HOWEVER in 84% of all Divorces it is the Man who has to pay Alimony. This means that there is approximately 15% of Men who are NOT being awarded Alimony by the Family Court System when they should be under the law. Child Custody - 94% of all divorce cases it is the Woman who is awarded Primary Physical Custody.. and it is the MAN who has to pay Child Support. We don't see 50% of all Men being awarded Primary Physical Custody...Why? We rarely see Women paying Child Support or Alimony. The Game is RIGGED and ANY guy with Any Sense at all; who sat down and ran the numbers will steer clear of Marriage. If a Guy wants to be a Father...it is CHEAPER for him to go to a Sperm Bank buy a Donated Egg, have it fertilized Invitro and pay a woman to be a Surrogate Mother until the Baby is born. If the Guy is smart and knows about all of the Paternity Fraud that is being perpetrated by Women, or Women getting themselves Pregnant just to trap a guy into Marriage or at the very least shake him down for Child Support; he will archive his stuff at Sperm Bank and then get his tubes snipped. Why would women do this? Under the Law..they have every incentive. |
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Video You're dismissed. Actually, you're more than welcome to stay, I only said that to make Blitzen happy. By the way, as long as we're chatting, I know you had an unfortunate marital experience. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you'll be able to get past it and be happy again. I did and I know you can too, if you don't fall into the trap of bitterness and self-pity. My sincere best wishes... Jane Marriage is like going to Vegas and playing Roulette. You know the Game is Rigged in favor of the House Yet Men play it anyway in desperate hope that they will be the exception and will 'Win'. But in truth the way the Economics of Marriage and the almost inevitable Divorce the Family Court System and Laws favor the Woman. And Women know this and really press it to their advantage. And that is just the Legal Framework...Marriage/Divorce ends up forcing Men to become Indentured Servants through Alimony and Child Support. We lose our Second Amendment Rights whenever a Restraining Order is Issued or their is a Misdemeanor Conviction of Domestic Violence. And Women are certainly not above LYING when it comes to allegations of Domestic Violence Then there is this whole psychology that is pervasive in Women that they are ENTITLED to Money earned by Men. And that the Men are like a good Plow Horse: they are "Property". There is NOTHING that Women have to offer to Men on why they are better off being Married instead of Single Cleaning - I can Hire a Maid to come in twice a Month - $200 per Month Cooking - Hire a Mexican Gal to come in once per week - $300 per Month Sex - Hooker goes for around $300 at once per week - $1200 per Month Companionship - Hanging out with the Guys - Cost: Free Peace of Mind - Priceless Total Cost per Month: $1700 this translates to about $20,000 in Services that a Wife Provides Naturally over time Sex typically drops to zero so...the value of Wifely Services degrades over time and the Bitching and Unhappiness goes Up. On the Other hand...if I am pulling in 100K per Year to a Woman who desires to be a Housewife..her incentive is a Pay increase of 30K per Year WHEN the Divorce Happens She is entitled to 50K per Year in Spousal Support plus Half of all Assets Never mind the Fact that she did NOT pay for the Items directly. And who pays the Income Taxes? The Guy pays...so if he is getting Taxed at 30% his Gross 100K becomes 70K then he has to pay 50K in Alimony so he is now left with 20 K to live on. The Government loves it because after they Tax the Guy on Alimony he is going to have to Pay the Ex.. they turn around and Tax the ExWife...so in effect there is Double Taxation going on on that 50K of Alimony. If the Marriage lasted 10 years or more and the Divorce occurs in California, Conneticut, Massachusetts, etc... she is entitled to receive Alimony for LIFE or until the Husband Dies. So is there Bias in the system? Well...over 30% of all Households it si the Wife who is earning the most Money HOWEVER in 84% of all Divorces it is the Man who has to pay Alimony. This means that there is approximately 15% of Men who are NOT being awarded Alimony by the Family Court System when they should be under the law. Child Custody - 94% of all divorce cases it is the Woman who is awarded Primary Physical Custody.. and it is the MAN who has to pay Child Support. We don't see 50% of all Men being awarded Primary Physical Custody...Why? We rarely see Women paying Child Support or Alimony. The Game is RIGGED and ANY guy with Any Sense at all; who sat down and ran the numbers will steer clear of Marriage. If a Guy wants to be a Father...it is CHEAPER for him to go to a Sperm Bank buy a Donated Egg, have it fertilized Invitro and pay a woman to be a Surrogate Mother until the Baby is born. If the Guy is smart and knows about all of the Paternity Fraud that is being perpetrated by Women, or Women getting themselves Pregnant just to trap a guy into Marriage or at the very least shake him down for Child Support; he will archive his stuff at Sperm Bank and then get his tubes snipped. Why would women do this? Under the Law..they have every incentive. I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane |
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Video You're dismissed. Actually, you're more than welcome to stay, I only said that to make Blitzen happy. By the way, as long as we're chatting, I know you had an unfortunate marital experience. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you'll be able to get past it and be happy again. I did and I know you can too, if you don't fall into the trap of bitterness and self-pity. My sincere best wishes... Jane Marriage is like going to Vegas and playing Roulette. You know the Game is Rigged in favor of the House Yet Men play it anyway in desperate hope that they will be the exception and will 'Win'. But in truth the way the Economics of Marriage and the almost inevitable Divorce the Family Court System and Laws favor the Woman. And Women know this and really press it to their advantage. And that is just the Legal Framework...Marriage/Divorce ends up forcing Men to become Indentured Servants through Alimony and Child Support. A marraige license should have this as a disclaimer. At least then men would be knowingly entering that agreement. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You're dismissed. Actually, you're more than welcome to stay, I only said that to make Blitzen happy. By the way, as long as we're chatting, I know you had an unfortunate marital experience. I'm sorry that happened and I hope you'll be able to get past it and be happy again. I did and I know you can too, if you don't fall into the trap of bitterness and self-pity. My sincere best wishes... Jane Marriage is like going to Vegas and playing Roulette. You know the Game is Rigged in favor of the House Yet Men play it anyway in desperate hope that they will be the exception and will 'Win'. But in truth the way the Economics of Marriage and the almost inevitable Divorce the Family Court System and Laws favor the Woman. And Women know this and really press it to their advantage. And that is just the Legal Framework...Marriage/Divorce ends up forcing Men to become Indentured Servants through Alimony and Child Support. A marraige license should have this as a disclaimer. At least then men would be knowingly entering that agreement. Oh come on! All Men already know this. But most Men, including all almost all of my friends go into it with the attitude "It will work for me, my girl is different from the rest" And guess what, they all get burned in the end some how. Be it as divorce, sexless marriage, or just plain miserable. |
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. |
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Quoted: And as the risk get larger, what about the return? Does marriage still offer everything it used to?Quoted: I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. |
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I don't think there's any way around the fact that economically, for a man, Marriage is a terrible investment.
The problem is that for a woman, it can actually be a good investment. 
I don't think we'll see the divorce rates come down until something is done about that balance. As long as ending the marriage has no consequences for one side, it's going to keep happening. |
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. But they are, aren't they? Otherwise they wouldn't be sufficiently emotionally invested in the topic to spend their time mining the internet for anti-marriage screeds to post on GD. Well, that accounts for some of them, then there's the sour grapes crowd who can't get woman to go to dinner with them much less the alter. In any case, I'm certainly not advocating that men get married, I've been quite contentedly single for the last twenty-five years. But then you don't see me knocking marriage categorically as a bad deal for women, do you? Jane |
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane Bzzzzzzzzzzzt. He is only unhappy because he lets himself be. I suppose there are men weak enough to let women rue their day. In the end you can only be as sad as you let yourself be. That ain't to say it ain't easy and a woman doesn't have influence 'cause that's absolutely true. But Happiness is derived from ourselves. He needs to man up and get on with life. |
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. But they are, aren't they? Otherwise they wouldn't be sufficiently emotionally invested in the topic to spend their time mining the internet for anti-marriage screeds to post on GD. Well, that accounts for some of them, then there's the sour grapes crowd who can't get woman to go to dinner with them much less the alter. In any case, I'm certainly not advocating that men get married, I've been quite contentedly single for the last twenty-five years. But then you don't see me knocking marriage categorically as a bad deal for women, do you? Jane You are both correct. As an economist I can say outright that outside of religious reasons there are few incentives for a man to legally commit to marriage. On the other hand, those who have been "burned" in a marriage relationship can have emotionally vested reasons, along with potential ongoing financial reasons, for dwelling on the subject. I remain a strong proponent of marriage, but I recognize that many, if not most, of my reasons are religious in origin. Wise choices for both men and women can greatly reduce the risks faced in marriage, but to some extent it will always be a leap of faith. |
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. But they are, aren't they? Otherwise they wouldn't be sufficiently emotionally invested in the topic to spend their time mining the internet for anti-marriage screeds to post on GD. Perhaps. I don't know them, their emotional state or motives. They may be as simple as offering a friendly warning to the younger guys. |
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Look, if you're not the type of person that shouldn't be getting married then...don't.
You'll know if you're that type or not if you can at least be honest with yourself. Before getting married go off somewhere alone and think, really think about what you're about to do and if any of it scares you (not makes you a little nervous, but actually scares or angers you) then you shouldn't be getting married. Remember, time makes little things bigger. Are you willing to live with her even though she has some annoying little habits? Yes or no? Are you willing to give up a substantial ammount of your personal freedom to engage in spur of the moment activities or purchases? Yes or No? Are you willing to wake up and fall asleep with the same person forever even if they gain weight, sicken, become infirm or eat cookies in bed? Yes or No? Are you willing to do what is best for both of you first and always (ie. clear firearm purchases to make sure nothing big is pending, skip that boys night out, give up making a reality of the harum, etc.) so that you both function as a single entity? Yes or No? Now, if you've answered yes to these questions and all like them that you've come up with on your own you have one more to ask: Is she? Yes, or No. (Fixt a typo...one that changed the entire tone of my post  )
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I see I was too late with the advice about bitterness and self-pity. Nonetheless, I'm still sorry your experience with marriage was a bad one and I hope you're happy in your cynicism. No, I mean that. I derive absolutely no pleasure or benefit from any man being unhappy because of a woman. Jane One doesnt need to be bitter or unhappy to undestand that as investment, marraige is a huge risk to a man with a job or assets. But they are, aren't they? Otherwise they wouldn't be sufficiently emotionally invested in the topic to spend their time mining the internet for anti-marriage screeds to post on GD. Perhaps. I don't know them, their emotional state or motives. They may be as simple as offering a friendly warning to the younger guys. But they aren't, are they? All that venom and bile coming from the noble desire to help others? No, I don't believe so. And I suspect you don't either. Jane |
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Quoted: In any case, I'm certainly not advocating that men get married, I've been quite contentedly single for the last twenty-five years. But then you don't see me knocking marriage categorically as a bad deal for women, do you? Jane Maybe it isn't a bad deal for women. |
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In any case, I'm certainly not advocating that men get married, I've been quite contentedly single for the last twenty-five years. But then you don't see me knocking marriage categorically as a bad deal for women, do you? Jane Maybe it isn't a bad deal for women. And maybe it is. Depends on the man. And the woman. Jane |
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On the Other hand...if I am pulling in 100K per Year to a Woman who desires to be a Housewife..her incentive is a Pay increase of 30K per Year WHEN the Divorce Happens She is entitled to 50K per Year in Spousal Support plus Half of all Assets Never mind the Fact that she did NOT pay for the Items directly. And who pays the Income Taxes? The Guy pays...so if he is getting Taxed at 30% his Gross 100K becomes 70K then he has to pay 50K in Alimony so he is now left with 20 K to live on. The Government loves it because after they Tax the Guy on Alimony he is going to have to Pay the Ex.. they turn around and Tax the ExWife...so in effect there is Double Taxation going on on that 50K of Alimony. If you pay alimony then it is deducted from your gross income before arriving at taxable income. Alimony is not subject to double taxation. It will be included in the gross income of the person receiving it. |