Posted: 6/30/2013 11:10:11 AM EDT
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Scammers have been hitting up businesses around here. My buddy owns a bakery and had this interaction with one:
...I called them back and was able to have the following conversation--which sadly, I wasn't able to record: Abraham: Thank you for calling the Rocky Mountain Disconnection Department, how may I help you? Me: Um, yeah... This is Craig... You just called me and left a message about disconnecting something? Abraham: Yes sir, what is the name of your business? Me: It's called "Craig". Abraham: What is your address? Me: You called about 9118? Abraham: 9118 S. Redwood Road? Me: That must be it. Abraham: Yes, the reason we are calling is we have a disconnection scheduled, but since I left a message earlier, we were able to postpone the disconnection until another hour from now. I just need to axe you a few questions Me: I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted to "axe" me? Abraham: I want to ASK you a few questions. Me: Oh, ok. Abraham: Did you get our letter dated May 17? Me: No Abraham: Are you sure? Me: Yes... Abraham: We sent you a letter on May 17. Me: Well I didn't get it. Did you forget to put a stamp on it? Abraham: pause... Craig, are you trying to be funny with me? Me: NO! It's not a joke. I'm dead serious. If you forget to put a stamp on a letter, it'll come right back to you. Abraham: pause... I think you're trying to be funny with me. Me: There's nothing funny about it. It's a postal service regulation. Abraham: Ok, are you aware that you are 2 months delinquent on your power bill? Me: No, that's not possible. We are completely caught up. Abraham: What method of payment are you using? Me: We use a bank, auto-withdrawal. Abraham: (sounding very relieved) Ok, great. So you use an auto-withdrawal from your bank, is that correct? Me: Sort of. Abraham: What do you mean, 'sort of'? I need to have definitive answers when filling out this form. Me: Ok, well, we pay auto-withdrawal, but it is with our own form of currency. Abraham: And what form of currency do you use? Me: Snickerdoodles. Abraham: What? Me: We pay with Snickerdoodles. We don't use normal currency. We pay 5,000 snickerdoodles a month. Abraham: What? Me: Sometimes we deliver them. We delivered them last month, didn't you get to try any of them? Abraham: Have a nice day Craig. Me: Abraham! Don't go!! Abraham: Have a nice day... Me: ABRAHAM!! ABRAHAM!!! Click... line disconnects. |
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A few years back at work we were getting calls about winning a free cruise. So I hit the button to clam my free cruise. Got ahold of one damn cool sales rep. Him: blah blah blah free cruise blah blah Me: Okay but one question, this isn't a gay cruise H: Uh no sir this is a cruise going yo.. M: Last time I took a free cruise it was a gay cruise H: Really? M: Yeah and I was stuck on the poop deck H: hahaha M: I am not gay, so I didn't like it. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay H: I think there is something wrong with being gay (kinda shocked a sales rep would say that) M; Hey as long as they don't bother me I don't care H: I think it is wrong M; What about lesbians? They are gay H: Oh no, lesbians are hot. I like lesbians M: Except real life lesbians are never hot like in the pornos H:Yeah true, but I like to think they are all hot like the movies M Okay well had fun discussing gays and porn with you but I got to get back to work.. H: Okay cool talking to ya. |
