Posted: 12/20/2009 11:47:05 AM EDT
|
So we got the Great Blizzard of '09 here yesterday and today I head out to survey the damage. Secondary roads are pretty icy (but plowed) and primaries and pretty much clear but with some icy spots.
On my way home I'm tooling along behind this beat up red minivan. Bald tires and all. There's a truck coming the other way and this guy spazzes out and ends up in the ditch. Me, being the helpful, friendly guy that I am, stop and offer my services (for free, mind you) and my tow strap to give 'em a yank. Very first thing I say is "If I fuck up your car, I'm not responsible". Hand him one end of the strap and tell him to hook it to something sturdy. Apparently his idea of sturdy and my idea are two entirely different things. After a few unsuccessful yanks, I get out to survey the situation and here's what I see: 
Oops!!! |
|
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome.  |
|
Quoted:
That almost sounded like poetry for a minute there, are you a writer? I am being serious here...you summed up some of the things I fear about our future as a species.I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. 
|
|
Quoted:
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. Movie comparison FAIL The correct movie would be Idiocracy Edited>This idiot cant spell |
|
Last winter I went to the range, and some guy in a Honda got stuck in an icy puddle. I offered to pull him out with my tow straps and truck. I told him to tie his end around his frame, while I set up my end. I turn around, and he's got it looped through the bumper. I said I'll take care of it, and I got down in the puddle and placed it around his cross member. Saved him some body damage.
|
Yeah, I had an oops moment today too. I almost learned an embarrassing lesson as well. Near my house is a wooded area with a scenic road going through. They never plow it during winter so it is kept closed off. I took the Jeep and went driving through and got stuck for a good few minutes. Shook me up but then I got unstuck and came back home.  I wouldn't know who to call to come get me either if I was stuck. Thankfully I brought a snow shovel just in case I had to dig myself out. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
You didn't hook his bumper, did you?  I didn't touch his car. I learned long ago that if I'm giving you a free yank, YOU hook your car. And I'M not responsible. I guess it's just me, but I wouldn't pull anyone out of a ditch unless I know BOTH sides of the chain/rope/strap are secured properly. What's the point of trying to do a good deed, if in the end you make the situation 10x worse? |
|
Quoted:
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. No, its cyclical. And the reason this cannon-fodder generation is so dim, is that this is the bottom of the barrel of souls. When we remake the ruins of this civilization, we will attract a better class of people. But first, comes the great die-off. |
|
Quoted: Quoted: That almost sounded like poetry for a minute there, are you a writer? I am being serious here...you summed up some of the things I fear about our future as a species.I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome.  Only "writing" I've done is IT stuff. Techincal documents for in-house use and training materials for staff (I used to be a Flight Instructor in another life before IT so I do have some teaching and communications skills). I came to my "Apes" hypothesis a few years ago. I've always been "tech savvy" and keep up with the world around me. As the Internet and tech in general has become more sophisticated and accessible to the masses, the collective IQ of those masses seems to deteriorate, not improve as one would expect. We have everyday technology that would be considered laughable Science Fiction (if not outright fantasy) a couple of decades ago, but everywhere you turn the number of functionally illiterate people is astonishing and growing. 40 years ago we went to the moon and we did it in in less than 10 years starting from a 15 minute sub-orbital popgun shot. I sat on the living room floor and watched it live on TV. We had 6 channels on that TV set, cable wasn't around, our phone was a rotary dial with bells for ringers. 9 volt transitor radios were the norm and cars had distributors and carbs. Computers were mainframes that filled buildings. Now people set themselves on fire and post the video on YouTube from their iPhones. That's "progress"?  Civilizations have come and gone throughout recorded history, why should now be any different? I'm convinced that we're standing on the edge of another transition from greatness to ruin. I thought it would be a slow decline but everyone with their hands on the levers of power seem to be in a mad rush to crash us into Oblivion just as fast as they possibly can. |
|
OMG Im glad I watched that to the end. 
|
|
i been without power the last 3 days, until about an hour ago.
not too tough on me and the boys but god my woman hates it, wanted to go into town (where they got the power back up on day one of course) and stay in a hotel room. i didnt stack supplies just for zombies, so we toughed it out. something about that situation makes a woman more prone to snuggle. |
|
Vehicles of all makes and models have designated tow points, and there are proper hooks and bridles used to attach to these tow point when extracting a vehicle from a ditch, snow bank, etc. Failure to use the proper equipment with result in damage to the vehicle. Save that fancy yellow tow strap for the mud pit and let a pro winch vehicles out of the ditch.
ETA..it's also a good way to get killed hanging out on the roadside without strobes, vests, etc. |
|
Quoted:
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. /this A-M-A-Z-I-N-G 
I think your hypothesis is correct. I believe that we're getting smarter people and dumber people as if the "brain pie" isn't growing any bigger. I know kids that are brilliant ... and yet I see examples of other ones that don't have the good sense God gave a gopher. |
|
Quoted:
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. Computers.... nobody knows anything except what they do on computers. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
I've said this before. One, maybe two more generations we're going to be Planet of the Apes. There's going to be billions of mouth-breathers that can't do anything but eat, shit, fuck and sleep surrounded by the ruins of a civilization that they don't remember where it came from and haven't the slightest clue as to what any of it did or how any of it worked. Wrapping a tow rope around a FUCKING PIECE OF PLASTIC in order to pull a multi-thousand pound vehicle out of the ditch is just another step toward that eventual outcome. Computers.... nobody knows anything except what they do on computers. A far from rich and rewarding career in IT support respectfully begs to differ with every point of your comment.
_MaH ETA: Ooooooo! 100 away from the five-figure club! 
|
|
that is pretty damn funny but it goes along with the post above about idiotocracy/planet of the dumbshits. get a fucking shovel you lazy bastards, he could have driven it right out. |