Posted: 3/19/2011 8:48:42 AM EDT
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Hi Ladies, a question I have is that yesterday one of my colleagues at work ended up with a flat tire at the end of the work day when she went to go home The way I was raised means that I had to stop and change the tire for her. However, she was rather insistent on giving a token of appreciation. Normally I decline as I don't do that kind of stuff with an expectation of something in return, except maybe just a polite "Thank you" as a common courtesy. When she asked and was rather insistent, I offered that peanut butter cups would be nice as they are inexpensive and I have a weakness for them. However, I felt "wrong" to accept her offer as I mentioned, I did not do what I did with an expectation of something in return. In those kinds of situations, would it be appropriate to accept something small if she is insistent or still politely decline? A little bit of a background, she is not on my team, but is on a different group our team does work with on a regular basis. |
Decline once, that's fine. Decline twice, you'll risk ticking her off. Accept the peanut butter cups. It'll make her feel better. You can give them to someone else if you feel guilty for accepting thing. Good karma will be flowing in all directions for you.Or you can put yourself in her shoes. How does it feel to have someone not accepting what you are offering over and over? |
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Yep, decline once. If she persists, accept the gift graciously. It's not like she's giving you a cruise to Alaska in return, it's just pb cups. It's always a nice gesture to do a little something nice for someone that has helped you out in a sticky situation. It's the right and polite thing to do.
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Some people don't like to feel indebted to others. Since you are doing her a favor, maybe she doesn't want to feel as if it's hanging over her head that she owes you something. Not saying you would make her feel this way, but some people do things like that to manipulate others. By offering you a token in return, it wipes the slate clean. |
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I think many men mistake simple human kindness (helping someone change a tire) for some male/female thing. I imagine if you saw a one armed man, or someone who is disabled, or just someone in the rain, trying to change a tire, you would have helped them too. It isn't because they are female, disabled, or anything like that...it is simply being helpful to your fellow man (women).
Whether you want to call it Karma, or the power of the universe, or God, that sort of kindness always comes back to you many times over. The older I get, the more firmly I believe in this. Allowing someone to say thank you is also kind. If you deny them the good feelings they get from saying thank you, it is often sort of embarrassing for them. I agree with the decline once, then accept. That way everyone comes out happy. |
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