Posted: 1/12/2004 3:36:59 PM EDT
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The girlfriend and I looking to tie the knot. These may be dumb questions but I've never been married so bear with me. ENGAGEMENT RINGS 1. Does the guy where an engagement ring or just the girl (I'm 90% sure it's just the girl but I don't know crap.)? 2. Any guys here wear an engagement ring? Did she buy it for you after you gave her hers? WEDDING RINGS 1. I'm thinking I buy a 1-to-2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, then later get a matching band to serve as the wedding ring and she would wear them together on the same finger. Is this correct? 2. Or, I could get, say, a 1/4 carat diamond for the engagement ring, and later a 1-to-2 carat diamond wedding ring, then she'd wear the engagement ring on her right hand and the wedding ring on her left (this would be a much more expensive route). So how does this work? |
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1. I'm thinking I buy a 1-to-2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, then later get a matching band to serve as the wedding ring and she would wear them together on the same finger. Is this correct? 2. Or, I could get, say, a 1/4 carat diamond for the engagement ring, and later a 1-to-2 carat diamond wedding ring, then she'd wear the engagement ring on her right hand and the wedding ring on her left (this would be a much more expensive route). I've seen it done where a small carat diamond ring is purchased (or just a band) for the engagement ring, then more diamonds are added and it becomes the wedding ring. |
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Traditionally it's a diamond solitaire ring from .25-1 carat then a gold band for the wedding ring, sometimes the band will incorporate the engagement ring to be fitted afterwards. Diamonds are very overrated and irrationally priced though, try something different and unique for the engagement ring. edited to add, They better wear that ring! It is their symbol to all other men that they are off the market officially, an engagement type ring alone could mean anything but both together signifies it's a done deal. |
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[b]Don't Do It!!!![/b] --Edited to add: Yes, if wanted, the male also wears an engagement ring, which then goes to the right ring finger after marriage. I know this because The Evil One asked me to marry her, that should have been my first clue to run, but it took me two miserable years to get around to running.... |
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[b]'A man in love is incomplete, until he is married. Then he is finished!'[/b] ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor (Hungarian-born American actress) Having been married at least eight times, she is something of an expert on marriage. [b]'I am an excellent housekeeper! I get married, I get divorced, I keep the house.'[/b] Eric The(SoSoonOld,SoLateSmart)Hun[>]:)] |
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Quoted: WEDDING RINGS 1. I'm thinking I buy a 1-to-2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, then later get a matching band to serve as the wedding ring and she would wear them together on the same finger. Is this correct? 2. Or, I could get, say, a 1/4 carat diamond for the engagement ring, and later a 1-to-2 carat diamond wedding ring, then she'd wear the engagement ring on her right hand and the wedding ring on her left (this would be a much more expensive route). So how does this work? We did it the first way, with the bigger ring as the engagement ring and a band as wedding ring with both on same finger. I have a matching wedding band but no engagement ring. |
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I work for the largest jewelry company in the world and have 6+ years of experience. Traditionally, the man does not wear a band until married. The man purchases an engagement ring, most traditionally a diamond solitaire (single diamond set in a gold band), and then some type of wedding band which can have diamonds or be plain. The woman will wear the engagement ring until the wedding day when you add the band on the same finger. This is when you get your band also. I noticed that you said something about 1-2 carats. Just to let you know, starting price for a one carat is around $2500-$3000 and that is for shit quality. A 2 carat of the same quality will run about $8000. A quarter carat will run you about $350. My advice is to buy what you can afford, and buy the best quality you can afford and don't worry about the size of the diamond. If you would like a recommendation of a good chain of jewelry stores, Please PM me. I can recommend a good one and the ones to avoid. |
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Quoted: The girlfriend and I looking to tie the knot. These may be dumb questions but I've never been married so bear with me. ENGAGEMENT RINGS 1. Does the guy where an engagement ring or just the girl (I'm 90% sure it's just the girl but I don't know crap.)? 2. Any guys here wear an engagement ring? Did she buy it for you after you gave her hers? WEDDING RINGS 1. I'm thinking I buy a 1-to-2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, then later get a matching band to serve as the wedding ring and she would wear them together on the same finger. Is this correct? 2. Or, I could get, say, a 1/4 carat diamond for the engagement ring, and later a 1-to-2 carat diamond wedding ring, then she'd wear the engagement ring on her right hand and the wedding ring on her left (this would be a much more expensive route). So how does this work? [rolleyes] [slap] |
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Avoid the chain stores i have found them to always be overpriced. instead ask around. i am sure someone you know has a family jeweler who they have done bussiness with for a long time. take your bride to the store so she can decide on the type of ring. my wife liked something different. it is three rows of 7 diamonds princess cut. no solitare or extra band. i bought it for $3500 back in 1991. i spent all i could. it makes a difference 10, 20 yrs down the line. you may buy her other more expensive rings as you progress in your career, but she will always wear her wedding ring, nothing else will displace it. of course this is if you are sure it is forever. been married 12 years and never looked back. |
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Quoted: Quoted: The girlfriend and I looking to tie the knot. These may be dumb questions but I've never been married so bear with me. ENGAGEMENT RINGS 1. Does the guy where an engagement ring or just the girl (I'm 90% sure it's just the girl but I don't know crap.)? 2. Any guys here wear an engagement ring? Did she buy it for you after you gave her hers? WEDDING RINGS 1. I'm thinking I buy a 1-to-2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, then later get a matching band to serve as the wedding ring and she would wear them together on the same finger. Is this correct? 2. Or, I could get, say, a 1/4 carat diamond for the engagement ring, and later a 1-to-2 carat diamond wedding ring, then she'd wear the engagement ring on her right hand and the wedding ring on her left (this would be a much more expensive route). So how does this work? [rolleyes] [slap] + 2 years: VICAP: 1. So, the wifey isn't putting out. Is this normal, or?? Not sure about all this marriage stuff. 2. Okay, I haven't been out with the boys in a year or so. Wifey won't allow it, so I was just wondering, when does this change? 3. I'm the only one working, yet we still split all the house chores 50/50. I told her I'm 90% sure since I'm working my butt off all day she should, you know, clean the house while I'm gone and stuff. Opinions? + 4 years So, when do these goddamn kids stop annoying me? + 6 years OK, so I got some dumb questions, bear with me: DIVORCE 1. Does the woman really get to keep all my shit, plus I have to send her money every month? 2. Should I get a lawyer? Or just hand everything over? |
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Quoted: I work for the largest jewelry company in the world and have 6+ years of experience. Traditionally, the man does not wear a band until married. The man purchases an engagement ring, most traditionally a diamond solitaire (single diamond set in a gold band), and then some type of wedding band which can have diamonds or be plain. The woman will wear the engagement ring until the wedding day when you add the band on the same finger. This is when you get your band also. I noticed that you said something about 1-2 carats. Just to let you know, starting price for a one carat is around $2500-$3000 and that is for shit quality. A 2 carat of the same quality will run about $8000. A quarter carat will run you about $350. My advice is to buy what you can afford, and buy the best quality you can afford and don't worry about the size of the diamond. If you would like a recommendation of a good chain of jewelry stores, Please PM me. I can recommend a good one and the ones to avoid. Sir, I wish that I could shake your hand. I have seen too many people buy into the "three months salary" bullshit. In my case, it would mean spending almost $20,000 on a ring, and anyone who does that is, quite frankly, an idiot. |
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I got REALLY lucky and was given a family diamond to put in the setting of my choice for my now fiance. Without that, I was NOT following the 2-3 month salary rule that MUST have been a dream of someone whose last name is debeers. I am FAR from rich but I was not putting anything that looked like a downpayment on a car on my girlfriends finger. As it was, I still spent a decent chunk of change on a platinum setting with some small accent rings. As I spent a TON of time researching all of this stuff, feel free to IM me with any questions you have (AND DO NOT SPENT 10K just on the diamond). shooter |
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[url]http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/programs/transcripts/1209.html[/url] I saw this when it first aired over 9 years ago and it was an eye opener. The diamond biz is a scam. All run by a monopoly convincing the gullible that they're scum if they don't give diamonds to their wives...and convincing women that if your man doesn't give you a diamond, he doesn't love you. Read the link. Then save the money you were going to spend on an overpriced, not-very-scare lump of carbon and put it towards a down payment on a house. Or pay off debt. Or put it towards your retirement. |
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Quoted: Diamonds are very overrated and irrationally priced though, try something different and unique for the engagement ring. I agree with what you are saying, but I know of one gal who got a different stone - I forget what type - for her wedding ring and she was CONSTANTLY having to fend the men off. The guys didn't think the ring was a wedding ring because it wasn't a diamond. |
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Just make sure your fiance is clear about the fact that you won't were the wedding ring because rings and other jewelry are a safety hazard for real men who work around heavy equipment like guns and pickup trucks, then everything will just take care of itself. What? It worked for me. Weren't you ever been given that safety briefing in the military about removing all rings because if you're hopping out the back of a truck the ring could catch on something and take your finger with it? |
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Don't fall for the DeBeers propaganda bullshit. If you are getting a diamond, you don't have to spend 2 or 3 or however many months salary on it. Get one that you like and that she will treasure. OR You could not get a diamond at all -- a "tradition" that was invented in the 1940s by DeBeers New York advertising firm W. A. Ayers -- and get her something unique and distinctive, "just like her" (girls like that shit). I got my soon-to-be-wife a big brilliant sapphire on a beautiful platinum band with a matching wedding band (the wedding band is sitting locked up. The engagement ring is a solitare and the wedding band has no stones. But its not just round, it .. well its hard to describe. Hang on. [img]http://www.guertinbrothers.com/products/platinum/ArianaProPlat.jpg[/img] There you go. Very distinctive, and it really looks beautiful. I went to a local jewler who my mother has used for years and years. He may charge just a hair more than these chain stores, but I knew he would never cheat me and he really put his heart into making the ring (he had to remove the diamond mount and custom make a platinum mount that accomdated the shape of the sapphire). Anyway, my advise in a nutshell is "Do whatever the hell you want and if she loves you she will love anything you get." James. |
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Get her a 1 carat engagement ring......that is going to get you a lot of [sex] The wedding ring should have at least two 1 carat stones on it, this will get you thru the first 16 years I have been married 17 years now and for Christmas I got her a [b] New Wedding Ring[/b] with 3 stones on it now 2 are from the original wedding ring. |
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The community property laws are running agains the diamond industry brainwashing of the gullible. I suggest you get a small easily affordable ring for the engagement ring. An engagement ring is a gift. Where I am it is treated as her separate property. Later if she leaves you to a fling with her boss, the ring goes with her and your $ is gone. You may want to use the money instead to buy a community property house or start saving for a downpayment on one. This way you should always have at least a 1/2 interest in the equity. Have her buy a larger ring every 10 years of marriage. (If you can't afford it 10 years later, you should've invested, not spent, the money spent on the engagement ring 10 years earlier). Don't give the 10 year ring as a gift or it may no longer be community property. Change the expectations. Place the priority on the long term, celebrate the success of an increasingly long marriage. |
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A man wear an engagement ring? Only if he is as queer as a football bat, if he is a metrosexual or if he is cuckolded. Get a small diamond on the engagement ring, and then upgrade it to a larger diamond every couple of years. We started with an 1/8th carat and ended up with a 1 carat ring. Buy plain wedding bands, great for work and vacations. Buy a nicer wedding band for her when you get the money. We did that, and now that the wife has her nice wedding band (I kept my plain gold band) she wears her plain gold band 99% of the time since it was "the one I gave her". Don't go hog wild when buying that ring, would you rather have a couch and a nice TV or a stupid ring... Don't forget that she will be expecting a diamond anniversary ring sometime in the future. |
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Quoted: Quoted: the ring could catch on something and take your finger with it? Exact thing happened to my dad. Working on a construction site, driving a grader and when he hopped off, he left his ring finger behind. Remember to take your ring off when working with machinery! [img]http://dev.tenringhosting.com/ViewImage.aspx?PID=e4bdc932-c96f-4b2b-a674-40c14dc68ed8[/img] [img]http://dev.tenringhosting.com/ViewImage.aspx?PID=0d4b0f2b-ede9-472b-a268-cae085dcd59d[/img] |
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Quoted: A man wear an engagement ring? Only if he is as queer as a football bat, if he is a metrosexual or if he is cuckolded. I agree, but I wore my college ring left-handed for a few months before the wedding to get used to having a ring on that hand. It helped. Get a small diamond on the engagement ring, and then upgrade it to a larger diamond every couple of years. We started with an 1/8th carat and ended up with a 1 carat ring. I bought my wife a 1/3 carat diamond, and it's (in our opinions) a good size. Big enough to be worthwhile, but not so huge that it's clunky or a "target". But my wife has a strong "practical" streak. Buy plain wedding bands, great for work and vacations. Buy a nicer wedding band for her when you get the money. We did that, and now that the wife has her nice wedding band (I kept my plain gold band) she wears her plain gold band 99% of the time since it was "the one I gave her". Ours are slightly tapered bands, each with a row of five small diamonds (approx 1/16" dia). Yes, mine too - and no one's ever given me trouble for it. ~$800 for mine, ~$500 for hers - but I had fewer expenses then. Pro - I have a unique ring, but don't look like Liberace. Con - The ring has a distinct "top", so I'm always fiddling with it. Don't go hog wild when buying that ring, would you rather have a couch and a nice TV or a stupid ring... Agreed. Save the money and go someplace nice for your honeymoon, and, if possible, for that one week spend money without thinking about it (it'll be the only time!). Don't forget that she will be expecting a diamond anniversary ring sometime in the future. Depends on the lady. Mine wouldn't wear it, she'd feel like a target. |
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You buy the engagement ring. The value is mostly sentimental as the value of most diamonds is a fraction of what you pay for them since diamonds aren't really all that rare. Something like Russian Alexandrite is far more rare (and beautiful in my opinion) but diamond has become the tradition so usually diamond is what you are stuck with. Buy the stone, not the ring. Buy the best stone you can afford. Don't worry so much about size as quality, quality, quality. The perfect stone is super white, super clear and cut to sparkle like crazy in normal light (forget the halogen lights they use in the jewelers shop that will make anything sparkle.) a .75 carat diamond that is nearly flawless, colorless and super bright will be worth more than a 2 carat stone that has visible inclusions, a discernible color and isn't cut to it's best advantage. Setting. The actual ring that the diamond is set in should NEVER compete with the stone. satellite diamond chips, swirls of gold and platinum etc. all compete with the stone. Ultimately you want a setting that is just a plain gold band with white gold prongs, no fewer than four, but six is more secure. A plain ring/setting allows you greater flexibility in your choice of wedding bands. Matched engagement ring/wedding band sets are typically very cheesy, cheaply made and are quickly dated. That's not a big deal if you are getting married every 3-5 years, but if your marriage is intended to last, a timeless, classy setting and band are a good idea. Gold wedding bands are not worth much (just try to pawn one.) The 14k ring that you paid 350 bucks for will only get you 15 bucks from a pawnbroker based on it's actual weight and metal content. Jewelry has a HUGE mark up in the 500-1000% range depending upon jeweller. Again, the value in a wedding band is sentimental. A wedding band is a workaday ring. You aren't supposed to take it off except when your activities could create a hazard (such as parachuting, rock climbing, machine shop work etc.) It should be a simple ring that will take that abuse. Plus, since the wedding band is worn right next to the engagement ring, gems and jewels in the wedding band will compete with the engagement ring, and that's not right. The biggest selling wedding ring is still a plain gold band with no ornamentation at all. |
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Quoted: You buy the engagement ring. The value is mostly sentimental as the value of most diamonds is a fraction of what you pay for them since diamonds aren't really all that rare. Something like Russian Alexandrite is far more rare (and beautiful in my opinion) but diamond has become the tradition so usually diamond is what you are stuck with. Buy the stone, not the ring. Buy the best stone you can afford. Don't worry so much about size as quality, quality, quality. The perfect stone is super white, super clear and cut to sparkle like crazy in normal light (forget the halogen lights they use in the jewelers shop that will make anything sparkle.) a .75 carat diamond that is nearly flawless, colorless and super bright will be worth more than a 2 carat stone that has visible inclusions, a discernible color and isn't cut to it's best advantage. Setting. The actual ring that the diamond is set in should NEVER compete with the stone. satellite diamond chips, swirls of gold and platinum etc. all compete with the stone. Ultimately you want a setting that is just a plain gold band with white gold prongs, no fewer than four, but six is more secure. A plain ring/setting allows you greater flexibility in your choice of wedding bands. Matched engagement ring/wedding band sets are typically very cheesy, cheaply made and are quickly dated. That's not a big deal if you are getting married every 3-5 years, but if your marriage is intended to last, a timeless, classy setting and band are a good idea. Gold wedding bands are not worth much (just try to pawn one.) The 14k ring that you paid 350 bucks for will only get you 15 bucks from a pawnbroker based on it's actual weight and metal content. Jewelry has a HUGE mark up in the 500-1000% range depending upon jeweller. Again, the value in a wedding band is sentimental. A wedding band is a workaday ring. You aren't supposed to take it off except when your activities could create a hazard (such as parachuting, rock climbing, machine shop work etc.) It should be a simple ring that will take that abuse. Plus, since the wedding band is worn right next to the engagement ring, gems and jewels in the wedding band will compete with the engagement ring, and that's not right. The biggest selling wedding ring is still a plain gold band with no ornamentation at all. Based on your post, I would say that you have some experience working in the jewelry field. Am I wrong? |