Posted: 1/21/2004 3:10:18 PM EDT
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I have been dating this girl for about two months. I have season ballet tickets with another girl that I came close to marrying but we are just friends now. The next ballet is on Feb 13th. Should I tell my girlfriend about the ballet? If so how and when? Or should I tell the friend I can't go and give her the ticket to find someone else? I asked one of the cop chicks at work and she told me she would be hurt if her boyfriend went somewhere the day before Valentines day. Why? I'm going to spend Valentines day with the girlfriend. |
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If you bought the Season tix for the ballet, then take who you want. - just let you "friend" know well in advance that you are taking another person to the ballet that night. However, If you and the old friend split any monetary portion of the ballet season tickets, then you are obligated to ask if she would like to buy out your sahre or you can ask her if she would like to sell her share (for the rest iof the season) - that's only fair. FWIW, honesty with women in this kind of situation if the best policy. Tell the old friend that you have met a new one and that you'd like to take your new friend to the ballet. If she's a true "frend" she'll understand, especially if she has no stake in the tickets. |
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well, it depends on how serious you are now, and where you see this current relationship going - are you dating other people? is she? if so then go with your "friend" to the ballet and don't sweat it... did you make these plans with your friend before you met your girlfriend?? the two of you need to discuss exactly what each of you think what dating is at this point. my best guess is that your girlfriend would be a little pissed if she knew you were going with some other chick (especially one you were so close to) to a ballet the day before valentines day..it's valentines day dude...the majority of chicks get real weird around that time... good luck! |
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Quoted: I have been dating this girl for about two months. I have season ballet tickets with another girl that I came close to marrying but we are just friends now. The next ballet is on Feb 13th. Should I tell my girlfriend about the ballet? If so how and when? Or should I tell the friend I can't go and give her the ticket to find someone else? I asked one of the cop chicks at work and she told me she would be hurt if her boyfriend went somewhere the day before Valentines day. Why? I'm going to spend Valentines day with the girlfriend. Only you know WHO everyone is here... Can you talk to them, (separately [:D]), about it??? Do unto them, as you would have them do unto you.... [:D] |
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Humm.... well, if you had season tickets, when was the last time you went w/ your "friend"? Was it more then 2 months ago? Or was the last time you went to the ballet during the 2 months you were "dating" this other girl??? Also, does your current "interest" know about your former "near marriage" situation? There are lots of variables before giving a suggestion.... when you say "close to marrying", were you to engaged? Or was it you were going to "ask", but didn't? If the current girl doesn't, I say better tell her something... or she may start to make conclusions. If you two were engaged and then ended, it is different from if you didn't ask her yet.... How much does the current interest know about you? I'm guessing not much..... Too many variables unknown to give "advice".... (Funny, me trying to give advice....LOL) |
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Dude - I can't believe you actually have(and admitted to having) season tickets to "the ballet" - hahahaahaha!!!! I don't know what to tell you about this one - what do your other "metrosexual friends" think about it??? hahahaha!!!(just kidding ya, bud) In all seriousness, though - I'd be honest with both of them, and if things are getting serious with the "new" one, then you probably should sever ties to the "old" one - unless you don't mind fucking up what you currently have going on... - georgestrings |
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I knew I would get shit about the ballet. Seriously, I like the music (most of the time, Carmina Burana was great this year) and chicks do dig it. The biggest issue the female cop I asked said was that I would be with my former girlfriend the day before Valentine's Day. WTF? It is not like it is Valentine's Day. I wasn't engaged but we had talked about it. I don't plan on lying to her I just didn't think it was a big deal to finish out the ballet season with Melissa. BTW, I got a kickass tennis bracelet for my girl for Valentine's Day. |
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Ah, I see... Well, be honest w/ the current girl. As long as you spend V-Day w/ her, she 'should' (hopefully) not have an issue with it.... assuming she feels confident about your relationship. If she is insecure, she might think she is loosing you to an old girlfriend. Nothing wrong w/ the ballet. Heck, I like musicals....granted, I don't go to them much since they are few around here.... |
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Quoted: Quoted: wow...ballet...you bought season tickets? I wont draw any conclusions... Its called Cultured, and chicks dig that shit big time! Not the kind of chicks that would hook up with a guy like me... But I have a confession, in high school, the girls in the plays used to make me go to the shows...and some of them i enjoyed. and the girls were hot. |
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First of all, there is nothing wrong with going to the ballet. A little culture in this ugly world will help your soul. Also, unless you are in a committed relationship with a ring, go out with both of them. When you start worrying about women's feelings is when you have de-balled yourself. |
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Quoted: When you start worrying about women's feelings is when you have de-balled yourself. Horse shit! Being insensitive doesn't mean you have "balls". It means you're an ass. Get the ticket from the ex and take the current. Either that or fess up that you still want the ex and go with her. |
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Be honest; tell the girlfriend about the season passes to the ballet and that you accompany a female friend and take it from there. Until you know her reaction to the situation, no one can give you advice about what to do next. As your female coworker told you she may not like the idea of you going to the ballet with someone else. Most women do not like men to be friends with ex-girlfriends - period. If she doesn't have a problem with you being friends, she shouldn't have a problem with you going to the ballet, even if it is the day before Valentine's. Now if it was Valentine's day, that would be a completely different situation. |
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While I am sure we appreciate the female point of view here, Ogre, I must humbly disagree. Regardless of what sherrick's new GF says she will not take kindly to this. Would you? Would I? Not me, that is for damn sure. And is this the way you want start your new relationship, sherrick? IMO this is about respect for another person. If you respect her and her feelings you will not go with the ex. It is really that simple. If you don't respect her that much you should re-evaluate your choices. Otherwise expect her to do that for you, regardless of what she says... To be honest, sherrick, you shouldn't have to ask. You know better. |
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From the way you're phrasing yourself, it's obvious you came here looking for everyone to OK your taking the ex. It's not cool if you want things to go somewhere with the new chick. Either take her, or don't go, or deal with the consequences. Your cop friend is right though, there will be consequences. BTW, a tennis bracelet after two months? I think you're nuts. |
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I've had a relationship with this other girl for about seven years. It is hard to tell her I don't want to go. Sometimes I need to be slapped around before I think straight when it comes to girls. BTW I picked up the bracelet at an estate sale for $60. Got is apprasied for $400. So it didn't cost me much. |
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Quoted: well, it depends on how serious you are now, and where you see this current relationship going - are you dating other people? is she? if so then go with your "friend" to the ballet and don't sweat it... did you make these plans with your friend before you met your girlfriend?? the two of you need to discuss exactly what each of you think what dating is at this point. my best guess is that your girlfriend would be a little pissed if she knew you were going with some other chick (especially one you were so close to) to a ballet the day before valentines day..it's valentines day dude...the majority of chicks get real weird around that time... good luck! I agree with this. How serious are you with your new girlfriend? And how close are you with your ex? You really should talk to them both and find out what they think. Make sure they're giving honest answers though. *I* would be pretty hurt if I was your new girlfriend and you went out with your ex......... *sigh* But maybe they're different. But yes, I do think you should tell GF. It would be too much like "sneaking" if you didn't, and then she'd have reason not to trust you. |