Posted: 12/18/2015 10:31:56 AM EDT
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I must say, for my years spent on the ArfCom, I've mostly found Christian dialog being sent around. That being said, I will repost the following:
First off - French Canadian Catholic here. My Jewish involvement includes 1 bar mitzvah and 1 bat mitzvah in my youth - while there, I ate a ton of sugar cubes and had a Red Sox yarmukle. I remember hoisting my friend on a chair after his squeaky voice read something in the synagogue. Let me also preface this post by saying that I lost my 40 y/o cousin in January and my 58 y/o father in May. We're a very Catholic family, and that's what is freshest in my mind. Keeping things brief. My cousin's wife's mother passed and their family is Jewish. I could not attend the wake or burial, but wanted to pay my respects. My questions are as follows: 1) Where the hell do I find an adult yarmukle on short notice? While not Jewish, I understand it's respectful to adorn the "bald-spot-manhole-cover" (as my wife is so fond to say) and haven't needed one in over 20 years. 2) Will it be awkward for a non-Jew to show up to such an event? I plan on bringing food for the event as well as for the family to take home with them. 3) I've been reading that you arrive at the address of the shiva, and partake in the prayer and then console the family. I'm not supposed to initiate the conversation, but offer support. Am I too far off? 4) This is my Catholic cousin's first time having to deal with such matters. What should I be doing for him? Thank you all (in advance) for your input. I hope to help my cousin through this time while not being a goof to his new wife's heritage. |
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Look for Jewish gift stores in your area. They will have yarmulke that you can buy. Also, ask them if there is a kosher place near by. If they are keeping Shiva that seriously, you will want to bring kosher food.
This is all I can offer. Good luck and remember, they will not get upset with you for trying. If you show up and are respectful, it will be appreciated. V |
| Check with the host. A good friend used to invite my family to their Friday evening meal and I asked about a yamaka he gave me one of his and was very happy that I would wear it. I still have it and have not seen him in 20 years. We live across the country from each other now. |