Posted: 12/12/2002 11:35:26 AM EDT
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I've been pondering the enigma of Santa Claus for a while, and I'd like to share a few observations with the Board. 1)Santa wears a military-style tunic, wide leather belt, and black jack-boots. 2)The predominant color of the outfit is [red]RED[/red]. 3)His living quarters are cleverly mis-reported as the North Pole, instead of the actual location, Siberia. 4)Santa is reported to have a workshop in which elves construct toys. Again, this is disinformation. In reality, the "workshop" is a series of slave-labor camps (the Gulag Archipelago described by Solzhenitzyn), and the "elves" are the inmates (Zeks). It is possible that the elf slaves have been augmented by Chinese slaves. Witness the large number of toys originating in China. 5)Notice that Santa is a DEAD RINGER for Karl Marx. Coincidence? I think not. The inescapable conclusion is that [s]Santa[/s] STALIN Claus is a fiendishly clever Communist Plot. I'm sure some of you are skeptical. Well, Lets look at the well-known song "Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer". First off, note the date of the song's origin-- 1949, clearly within the Stalin era. Is it an accident that the author's name is MARKS? (MARX) Here's the song, with my annotations: Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Johnny Marks (c) 1949 You know Dasher and Dancer And Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid And Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall The most famous reindeer of all? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (reindeer) Had a very shiny nose (like a light bulb) And if you ever saw it (saw it) You would even say it glows (like a flash light) >> This is probably a reference to some kind of anti-Soviet deviationism, perhaps alcoholism. All of the other reindeer (reindeer) Used to laugh and call him names (like Pinochio) They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph) Play in any reindeer games (like Monopoly) >> Obviously a reference to his ostracism by his fellow Soviet citizens, and perhaps incarceration and/or internal exile. Note the ironic reference to the game "Monopoly" a symbol of the Capitalist system so hated by the Soviets. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say (Ho Ho Ho) Rudolph with your nose so bright Won't you guide my sleigh tonight? Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him) And they shouted out with glee (yippee) "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (reindeer) You'll go down in history!" (like Columbus) >> This the clincher. Observe how once Rudolf becomes useful to the State ([s]Santa[/s] Stalin Claus) he is instantly rehabilitated, and allowed to return to society. Obviously, the propaganda ditty above is an allegory of life under the Soviet system, with the underlying theme of service to the State as the highest possible personal goal. |
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Now, let us examine the equally well-known brainwashing tool, the song entitled "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" Oh! You better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town! >> A stern warning against anti-Soviet activity. He's making a list, Checking it twice, Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town! Here we have a subtle reference to the Soviet Secret Police intelligence apparatus, constantly monitoring the activities and behavior of Soviet citizens. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! >>A repetion of the above, with the admonition that resistance is futile. The organs of State Security know all, see all. Oh! You better watch out, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town! >>Translation: Be a good Slave-- or else! Can there be any doubt that Stalin Claus has been foisted upon us to weaken our will to resist the Soviet onslought? |