Posted: 1/15/2007 7:46:34 PM EDT
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They Walk Among Us ... Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote! * =================== One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted.... "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said... "Where???" *They Walk among us and they Vote!!* =================== While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime. She shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!* =================== I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!* =================== My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!* =================== My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!* =================== My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount on both.... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!* =================== I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"... *They Walk Among Us and They Vote!!!!!!!!* =================== While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. *Yep, THEY Walk Among Us, and, Dear Me, They Vote too !!!!!!!!* |
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This is absolutely true......... I was involved in a car accident in California when in college many many years ago. Not seriously injured, but pulled out of the car by others that stopped. I was laying in the middle of the highway, next to a wrecked car, in the rain, my head on a rolled up coat someone had put there, with a blanket over me that someone else had in their car. My head was turned to my left. When I saw boots to my left, I turned my head to look up and saw a Calif. Highway Patrolman. He asked me, "Were you involved in the accident" I responded, "No, I'm just laying here in the middle of the highway in the rain, resting". The CHP officer eventually testified in the insurance case that he thought I was on drugs at the time due to my answer. All True |
He was trying to determine if you were an occupant/driver of a vehicle involved or a possible pedestrian injured as a result of the incident. |
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In reference to number one: I was helping a buddy redo his bathroom. We gutted it, shower, walls, toilet, bath, all of it. He said, "What should we do with this toilet?" I told him to put it out in the front yard. Some hick would scarf it up. He didn't believe me, but agreed to put it in the yard anyway. This was around 2100. The following morning at around 0800 somebody was banging on his front door, "...wondering what [he] was going to do with that toilet and bathtub." |
A friend of mine asked all 20 waiters/waitresses at work one day "How many feet are there in a yard?" About 80% of these people were at least partially college educated, all were old enough to vote and quite a few had contributed to the gene pool. Four answered the question correctly! The best answer was "I don't know, I'm not good at math! You are correct, they walk among us! |
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A couple of years ago I was watching the local news in San Diego (something I *never* do) because of the fires we were having at the time. The weather guy was discussing the weather with the newscasters. The bimbo newscaster didn't know the freezing temperature of water. I was speechless. |
I replaced a dishwasher in the house we were living in at the time. I pulled it out from under the cabinet, disconnected the water and wiring, and then filled it up with trash. My wife at the time was standing there looking at me wondering what I was doing. I explained to her that it would be gone from the curb in less than an hour. Sure enough it was. They got rid of a weeks worth of garbage also. |
Take note, people. This might be a good way to get rid of a George Foreman grill. |
Pretty funny stuff.
He'd have been involved either way...
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I did that the other day at lunch, My boss said can we pay with a dine and dash card? She laughed and said "I have quick feet".. I smiled and pointed up out of the window behind her and said "OMG look! a dead bird!" She started looking around in the air, and I ran for the door. I turned back and my boss was laughing his ass off a the table. |