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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:51:54 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you think Canadian border guards are nuts you’ll probably want to stay well the fuck away from Israel. I've had job interviews that were less through and more easy going. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:53:21 PM EDT
[#2]
They are assholes
Years back my wife and I were going up to Whistler. Stopped at BC border. Had this unexpected exchange with the female border agent - who was smoking hot btw Agent: do you own any guns? Me: yes Agent: do you have any guns with you? Me: of course not, I know your laws regarding firearms Agent: when was the last time you had guns in this car? Me: not any time recently Agent: how many guns do you own? Me: a few Agent: where do you keep them? Me: ...in my house? Agent: what do you use them for? Me: really, that's none of your business. there are no guns in this car. (this should have been my first and only reply) at this point my wife is looking at me all pissed off... the agent and I just stare at each other for a few seconds of silence, then she suddenly smiles and says "welcome to Canada, enjoy your stay!"  I also once got pulled into the border station when I was going to BC for a contract job. They wanted me to prove to them why a Canadian couldn't do the job that I was coming up there to do. I was going aboard a ship to install a satcom system and repair a fucked up cross threaded mounting bolt on another satcom antenna, on the same ship. I pulled up the E-mail that literally said "there are no manufacturer certified individuals for this job on the west coast of Canada" - only then would they let me in. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:53:32 PM EDT
[#3]
Several years ago I was going to a celebration at one of their military schools. We got to the border and the Canadian Border Guard asked "what's in the trailer?" I answered "two cannon and 75 pounds of black powder"; which was true.
Fully expecting to be directed to secondary inspection I was very surprised when he said "ok, you can go." So you never know. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:56:06 PM EDT
[#4]
Mid/late 90s. 4 dopy ass guys 18- 20 years old
Reason for entering? Drinking and partying for the weekend. Where ya headed? X hotel in Montreal You guys need to check out x and y and z! Yes sir will do! See you Sunday or maybe Monday.. ?? Be safe guys. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:57:03 PM EDT
[#5]
Had nothing but terrible interactions with them.
”where are the guns?” “We know you have guns just show them to us” I told them I shipped half my guns to alaska I left the other half with my dad “show us the tracking numbers” *shows tracking numbers* “This doesn’t say it’s guns in the package” No fucking shit asshole what tracking number says what’s in the box. “We need to call your father and verify serial numbers” “Yeah no it’s midnight in the East coast and verify serial numbers with what? You don’t know what I own” Carried on for over an hour. Eventually let me go. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:57:52 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:and the ones I have dealt with seemed to HATE Americans. That’s because their dollar is worth shit compared to the U.S.$. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:57:53 PM EDT
[#7]
Last time I went to visit a friend in Windsor I took the bus from the Detroit airport. The bitch on the Canadian side was the rudest, most arrogant border agent I'd ever met in more than two dozen counties including some backwaters. I was surprised when I came back into the US a week later that the US guy was a bit worse; he literally tossed my Global Entry card back at me when I handed him that and my passport and proceeded to act like I was smuggling tons of drugs or something even though all I had was a travel day pack and a computer bag. He dumped everything out of my bags, asked a bunch of stupid questions which I assumed was him trying to get me more pissed off at him, then finally said I could enter before walking away with all of my stuff still scattered about. If he'd suddenly caught on fire in front of me I'd have stood there laughing at him.
The only other rude US agents (can't remember which agency they were) I've come across were when flying into LaGuardia, and I figured that was just New Yorkers. Every other airport entry has been professional if not polite and some were even friendly. TSA are usually another story (mostly just incompetent), but no surprise there. 
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:58:37 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: In 2012 I told one on the I-81 entrance, "I'm sorry, I thought I was entering Canada, not Nazi Germany...." I was detained and harassed for 3 hours and then denied entry. My crime? I had 3 printed circuit boards in my trunk because we were moving offices earlier in the week before I had to go up there. They listed me as a "Part Smuggler" on top of it and I had to have our corporate attorney get me access back. Clusterfuck. Last time we were there at the WA I-5 crossing was in a caravan with my sis and BIL's family (they were visiting from TX.) Blended fun trip with some of BIL's business tossed in. They got wind of the "business" and tossed his rental car. He had an industrial electronics hardware business and had several products in his luggage. Much ado about nothing for 2 hours. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 2:59:09 PM EDT
[#9]
Ask them if they would like to buy a carton of cigarettes
Last time I was there they asked me if I had anything to declare, and I answered " Canada is very expensive"......he didn't find it amusing but his female co-worker smiled and smirked |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:02:19 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Tu es incompétent Tu es cornichon!
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:02:44 PM EDT
[#11]
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:02:55 PM EDT
[#12]
Last time I entered Canada in Kelowna in 2022 they didn't even send a customs officer/guard out to my private plane (just a cub with 2 people). Called them on the phone and they just said "welcome to Canada". Only issue I've had with them was at Toronto Pearson airport as uniformed flight crew when they wanted us to wait in line behind 100 passengers (no crew lane for customs?) and got irate when I had the audacity to go to the front of the line with my crew, This was at 7 PM on our 9 hour overnight before a 4 AM show the next morning.
Just clear US customs at O'hare or Newark and you will sadly see that our ICE agents are usually no friendlier. They do a great job of harassing legal law-abiding airline passengers while turning a blind eye to the hoards of invaders illegally crossing the southern border on a daily basis. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:03:28 PM EDT
[#13]
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:04:17 PM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:05:32 PM EDT
[#15]
I've lived nearly my entire life an hour or so from the border......only been across once.
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:06:03 PM EDT
[#16]
Just tell them you love Jim Carey and Ryan Reynolds but they should remain in Canada.
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:07:04 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just tell them you love Jim Carey and Ryan Reynolds but they should remain in Canada.  |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:07:41 PM EDT
[#18]
Was heading up the inside passage from Seattle on a Coastal Freighter mid 80s we were in Canadian waters. One of the crew on watch found the female cook walking around out of it with a large butcher knife. We subdued her and found a place and a dock where we could drop her off. Don't even remember where now, mid-size town.
Anyhoo, evidentially they sent a stern letter to the main office saying never do that again. No idea what happened to her. Sad part, I was low man on the totem pole and had to cook the rest of the trip. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:10:52 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Can you call them Snow Mexicans? I have a good friend who is dual citizen, US and Canada. I refer to him by a name that would probably get me in trouble here even though he is a white, conservative, male and therefore is a man of privilege and all disparaging remarks by nature apply and you cannot demean him. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:17:25 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To my knowledge, this is not accurate. CBP can delay entry to ascertain likely citizenship status, but cannot deny reentry of a US citizen. A passport is a presumptive, though not exclusive proof of citizenship. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: An American citizen does not need a passport to enter Canada. But a US citizen will need a passport in order to return to the US. To my knowledge, this is not accurate. CBP can delay entry to ascertain likely citizenship status, but cannot deny reentry of a US citizen. A passport is a presumptive, though not exclusive proof of citizenship. My enhanced state driver's license is good to go for Canada and back from what I recall. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:17:44 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you drive to Canada, here's exactly what to do: Leave your concealed carry permit at home. If the guards ask you if have a concealed carry permit, you answer, "no". "No" is a truthful answer because you do not have one with you. It is at home. If he asks you if you have any guns, again you say, "no". You say, "no", because you do not have any guns with you. You look the guard in the eye, and you calmly answer "yes" or "no", wherever possible. If he asks you why you are coming to Canada come up with something that makes sense. IE. " I want to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame, etc) Remember that the guards are not very intelligent and they are power crazy nutcases. So use your intellect and outwit them. I thought you could pay $19 US and fill out a couple forms to transport compliant rifles/shotguns into Canada from the US? Will I still get body cavity searched even after jumping through the hoops? |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:20:11 PM EDT
[#22]
Tell them you have a pre clearance form for liquor, smokes and beer. You get this with a Nexus so you dont have to stop. You give them a form with credit card and nexus details on it, they bill you later. Its funny how many times I got who issued this form ive never seen it!! Im like yeah its from Canada customs (You). I saw many just crumple it up and chuck it.
To see the look of disappointment when you get dragged to secondary before they would even look at the form. THey pop the trunk, I had maybe 12 cases of beer and several 40s of booze. IM like heres you form..bye. This not make them happy at all! |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:20:23 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They are assholes Years back my wife and I were going up to Whistler. Stopped at BC border. Had this unexpected exchange with the female border agent - who was smoking hot btw Agent: do you own any guns? Me: yes Agent: do you have any guns with you? Me: of course not, I know your laws regarding firearms Agent: when was the last time you had guns in this car? Me: not any time recently Agent: how many guns do you own? Me: a few Agent: where do you keep them? Me: ...in my house? Agent: what do you use them for? Me: really, that's none of your business. there are no guns in this car. (this should have been my first and only reply) at this point my wife is looking at me all pissed off... the agent and I just stare at each other for a few seconds of silence, then she suddenly smiles and says "welcome to Canada, enjoy your stay!" I also once got pulled into the border station when I was going to BC for a contract job. They wanted me to prove to them why a Canadian couldn't do the job that I was coming up there to do. I was going aboard a ship to install a satcom system and repair a fucked up cross threaded mounting bolt on another satcom antenna, on the same ship. I pulled up the E-mail that literally said "there are no manufacturer certified individuals for this job on the west coast of Canada" - only then would they let me in. We should probably do the same with them coming here to work........that shouldn't even register with their border guards |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:21:33 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: An American citizen does not need a passport to enter Canada. But a US citizen will need a passport in order to return to the US. They can deny entry to an American who has been convicted of a DUI. Impaired driving in Canada can sometimes be prosecuted as an indictable offense. But most commonly it is prosecuted by summary convicted, which is the equivalent of a US misdemeanor. So if you have a DUI, get a copy of all the court documents. If possible get transcripts of the hearing. If you can show the border Nazis that your case was a misdemeanor, they will probably let you in. This isnt right I think. US citizens need a passport to enter, especially via air, but also via land crossings. The exception is theres maybe half a dozen US states on the Can border that have the new secured type of Drivers license, they allow those from a select list of states, but otherwise its Passport or Nexus. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:24:59 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I heard you cannot own AR's in Canada. Can you tell that to the ones I have in the safe behind me?  Ive owned ARs since the late 80s. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:26:05 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Been across the line a few times We use to go up there for a sushi restaurant we loved. Got asked once "youre really coming up here just for sushi?" The place was all you can eat with awesome fish. Fresh sockeye salmon. Tanpopo Japanese Restaurant in vancouver. So yeah I had to explain that one. Thought I was gonna get anal probed but they waved us through. Damn! Ive eaten there! Its really good. Did you get the Octopus? Only place ive had it where its super fresh. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:26:24 PM EDT
[#27]
I have never had problems with the Canadians. The American CBP were rude a couple of times, but that's the extent of it.
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:26:44 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I treat Canada like NYC I don't go there |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:28:38 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Going for a meeting, never admit to doing work. if crossing for work, meeting are allowed, however you need a specific letter of invitation from the host company, it has all your info on it for CBSA or CBP as both sides use them. Otherwise you need a work permit, same as the US. I use to issue and use letters of invitation routinely. Amazing how many from the US declined one from me only to later say the border was hell and why didnt I send them one....
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:29:05 PM EDT
[#30]
We used to snowmobile once a season and go hunting in Sask or Manitoba every few years. After a number of bad experiences from Canadian customs, we said fuck it, we'll keep our money in the US. Haven't been back since.
Have never had a problem on the US side, they were not even going to get up from their chairs until they heard we had some decent bucks. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:30:04 PM EDT
[#31]
When I was flying into Detroit and going into Sarnia for work at our refinery there, my traveling partner/engineer knew the ropes and what you can and cannot say to the BP.
The last time we were they questioned us real heavy and my buddy leaned over to the BP guard, I was driving, and said we are coming here to learn the right way to run a refinery because we Americans dont know what the fuck we are doing. The guard smiled and waived us through They wanted to make sure we were not going into Canada to do work that a Canadian could do or that we were taking work from them. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:31:48 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That’s because their dollar is worth shit compared to the U.S.$. That's funny shit..considering for several decades Canadian dollar was worth more than the US dollar.. but hey carry on 
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:32:51 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I thought you could pay $25 and fill out a couple forms to transport compliant rifles/shotguns into Canada from the US? Will I still get body cavity searched? If you complete the requisite forms from the People's Commissar for Firearms, then you will be OK. I was talking about the general visitor situation. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:36:26 PM EDT
[#34]
Never had a problem from the Canadians.
 Attached FileThe MN fish cops can be dicks when you come back. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:37:37 PM EDT
[#35]
Enhanced license.
NEXUS lane. "I'm here to spoil my grandson." I'd much rather deal with the nucks than the assholes on the US side. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:38:49 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: ... So both sides have access to each other's criminal data bases. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:40:20 PM EDT
[#37]
What are YOU doing in Canada?
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:42:00 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you complete the requisite forms from the People's Commissar for Firearms, then you will be OK. I was talking about the general visitor situation. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I thought you could pay $25 and fill out a couple forms to transport compliant rifles/shotguns into Canada from the US? Will I still get body cavity searched? If you complete the requisite forms from the People's Commissar for Firearms, then you will be OK. I was talking about the general visitor situation. @FluffyTheCat What are acceptable reasons for transporting firearms lawfully? I had considered stating "target practice/competition" and "hunting," but was told that neither would be enough and that I need to show invitation or reservation from/for a recognized event. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:44:18 PM EDT
[#39]
As a twelve year old we we moving from New Jersey to Toronto. Driving across the border the BP officer says; "Is that a cat?". My Dad says: "I hope so."
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:44:55 PM EDT
[#40]
I temporarily reside and work in Quebec, Canada on an exchange.
For over a year, I have crossed the border weekly for mail, tobacco, and groceries and have never had an issue getting across even with my atrocious French. I drive a Texas-plated, semi-lifted truck with ammo cans mounted in the bed and wear a Remington Rifle ball cap. You can see them thinking "GUN" when I pull up. When they ask questions and you answer honestly and non-confrontationally, they send you on your way. Keeping criminals and undesirables out of their country is the job of their Customs and Border Agents, I just wish ours weren't kept from doing the same. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:46:30 PM EDT
[#41]
My grandfather, who was blown up in a Sherman tank during the Second World War and had one glass eye, and my grandmother came to visit my family in Niagara Falls years ago. Early 2000s.
We took them across to Canada, my mom said to keep your mouth shut and just answer their questions. Canadian border guard looks at the passengers, asks my grandfather if he's an American. My grandfather responds: "You're damn right I'm an American!!!"  They also wouldn't let my federal agent uncle into the country with his sidearm. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:51:30 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you drive to Canada, here's exactly what to do: Leave your concealed carry permit at home. If the guards ask you if have a concealed carry permit, you answer, "no". "No" is a truthful answer because you do not have one with you. It is at home. If he asks you if you have any guns, again you say, "no". You say, "no", because you do not have any guns with you. You look the guard in the eye, and you calmly answer "yes" or "no", wherever possible. If he asks you why you are coming to Canada come up with something that makes sense. IE. " I want to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame, etc) Remember that the guards are not very intelligent and they are power crazy nutcases. So use your intellect and outwit them. Say if they ask me why I'm visiting and I say I'm going to Toronto because of all the whores and hockey players. And one says hey my wife's from Toronto, and I say oh yeah what team does she play for. Will that get me by ? |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:52:49 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do you need a passport to enter Canada now? Is it true that they deny entry to Americans who have been convicted of DUI? My brother was on a work trip years ago .. He was denied and was on the next flight back to the USA We still say he was deported from Canada (He had a DUI ) |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:53:20 PM EDT
[#44]
When asked what your status is in Canada, "I don't know" is the wrong answer.
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:56:56 PM EDT
[#45]
First line here would be the most epic. They'd probably just be confused though.
I'm reserving that one to use before starting shit anywhere there's a button in their response plan.   Fensler GI Joe PSA 19: Fire Alarm [HQ] |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:56:57 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I temporarily reside and work in Quebec, Canada on an exchange. For over a year, I have crossed the border weekly for mail, tobacco, and groceries and have never had an issue getting across even with my atrocious French. I drive a Texas-plated, semi-lifted truck with ammo cans mounted in the bed and wear a Remington Rifle ball cap. You can see them thinking "GUN" when I pull up. When they ask questions and you answer honestly and non-confrontationally, they send you on your way. Keeping criminals and undesirables out of their country is the job of their Customs and Border Agents, I just wish ours weren't kept from doing the same. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” Yeah, I'm going to go with "possibly true in some areas" but not my experience. As I said, I've traveled a fair amount and am familiar with dealing with various border agencies, including a couple of communist counties, and Canadian customs were easily the rudest, most arrogant I'd ever met until I was returning and ran into that wanker US agent who was slightly worse, if only because I expect to be treated better by my own country. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:57:41 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: But a US citizen will need a passport in order to return to the US. Not true. I’ve crossed many times back to the USA in the last year with only a driver’s license. |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 3:58:56 PM EDT
[#48]
Apparently I have a doppelgänger in Kentucky that throws cats in dryers or something like that. The only reason I know this is EVERY time I go to Canada I get stopped, pulled inside, and I have to prove to the Canadians that I am not a serial felon animal abuser from a state I’ve never been to. Dude has the same name and DOB as I. Best part of this story is that the first time it happened sauerpatchkid was witness to this….
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Posted: 6/21/2023 4:00:17 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you think Canadian border guards are nuts you’ll probably want to stay well the fuck away from Israel. They're just preparing you for when you meet the local citizenry.... (Judging by only a few examples of Israeli tourists, but holy shit, did they make NJ folk seem cuddly.) |
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Posted: 6/21/2023 4:00:49 PM EDT
[#50]
I always go in and out at Pearson.
Biggest problem is the stupid robot kiosks are constantly malfunctioning. Whole thing rises up, goes down, goes up again, trying to use sensors to line up with your face for a picture, then it finally gives up. And it just puts a big "X" on the receipt you give the agent. I know all about always saying "business meetings and training" and never "work." But it hasn't been an issue and have always been passed through in 10 seconds. Politely, or with disinterest at worst. Coming home you already "entered the USA" at Pearson before you ever get on the plane, which is sort of convenient... The biggest PITA is there's no escaping the TSA. They have some kind of outsourced agency staffed by Canadians and you have to do all the same taking off shoes and belts, and splitting your carry-on stuff into a bunch of bins for the X-ray. Going into Mexico, nobody seems to give a shit. A bunch of cameras, US & Mexican take pictures of the car, driving in from El Paso to Juarez, but that's it. Best I can tell, you could have a pile of AKs & ARs on the floor and nobody would notice. You are supposed to fill out an FFM Federal Forma Migracion, and get your passport visa stamped, but there's zero system to make you do it or indicate it's a thing a foreigner is supposed to do. The risk is if you're stopped by Mexican police, and they ask for it, and you don't have one. And that's probably just a tactic to lean on you for an informal fine/bribe. If you actually know you're supposed to get an FFM and stamp in your passport, drive around the convoluted back alleyways to find the parking lot at the border station, and walk to the office, but forget to close it out when leaving, you've technically overstayed your visa, and what happens if you go through Mexican customs months or years later where there's more control, like an airport, what happens then is a crapshoot. Nothing happens, welcome to Mexico. The customs agent sees you've got an open visa/overstay on your record. They don't care, or they ask, and you don't know, or you forgot, they shrug, and welcome to Mexico. Or, a big fuss is made, you're "in big trouble" taken to back offices, given the third degree, and then get escorted to an airport ATM to pay the 6000 peso fine, approximately $300 USD, which they almost certainly pocket. Welcome to Mexico. Coming back to the US, the biggest PITA is the long lines of traffic. Never any guff from ICE/CBP just the time it takes to scan the passports. But all those mysterious X-ray, radiation detection boxes, and God knows what else you drive through, the mag stripe on my hotel room key in El Paso was erased every damn time. And the front desk had to recode it.  One hotel clerk even asked if I was going into Juarez every day for business, because she sees it all the time. |
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