[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Thinking of an ejection (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 3/4/2016 7:53:51 PM EDT
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Really just getting tired of her shit.
Everything turns into a fight, and I never do enough according to her, even though I do about everything. Except sleep. She buys then bounces checks, expects me to have millions of dollars, but gets mad at me for having to work. Anything I can do to make some extra money gets shot down, because it will take time. Simple things like I forgot to take the trash results in a fight that may have me living somewhere else, just the way she twists shit making me the worst person on the planet. Big issue is our son, I don't want to lose him, but I know that the way she is set with work around the kids schedule (she has 2 from a previous marriage, I know I have no rights to them) but that will work against me for custody, as I do work outside the house and daycare will be a requirement, whereas he could stay with mom. I believe there are some stability issues, but every time I say something I am the bad husband trying to get out of trouble, verse actually trying to help. When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. |
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Really just getting tired of her shit. Everything turns into a fight, and I never do enough according to her, even though I do about everything. Except sleep. She buys then bounces checks, expects me to have millions of dollars, but gets mad at me for having to work. Anything I can do to make some extra money gets shot down, because it will take time. Simple things like I forgot to take the trash results in a fight that may have me living somewhere else, just the way she twists shit making me the worst person on the planet. Big issue is our son, I don't want to lose him, but I know that the way she is set with work around the kids schedule (she has 2 from a previous marriage, I know I have no rights to them) but that will work against me for custody, as I do work outside the house and daycare will be a requirement, whereas he could stay with mom. I believe there are some stability issues, but every time I say something I am the bad husband trying to get out of trouble, verse actually trying to help. When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. Call a marriage counselor. They can help, I know from experience. |
| Huge arguments over small things are a very bad sign. I had the same issue with the live in gf of 4 years. Had to give her das boot, with the intention of it all being over. We ended up working out our differences and are dating again. Her being on her own changed her tune. Unfortunately this is irrelevant to you since you are married with a kid, which puts you in a whole different shit-pickle altogether. |
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When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. That right there is the sign of a person with mental issues that do do not lend themselves to long term relationships, nor are they found on people who will responsibility take medication as prescribed and stick to a therapy regimen. |
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Quoted: Couldn't have said it any better.. Good luck with your choice.. Quoted: Quoted: When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. Couldn't have said it any better.. Good luck with your choice.. If only we could devise some vows that could be said during the marriage ceremony, something that would cover this... |
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If only we could devise some vows that could be said during the marriage ceremony, something that would cover this... Quoted:
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When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. Couldn't have said it any better.. Good luck with your choice.. Masochist? |
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How old are you, do you rent, how much you make a year? IMHO, if you're @30 or so, you're too young to put up with that shit, eject!! I was married 18 years, no kids though, she started that shit and I pulled the ejection handle!!! Turning 30, rent, not enough (just switched jobs about 6 months ago, about a 12k raise but still in a hole after the last job killed my hours and we ate Into savings to survive) so some money issues don't help any either. |
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If only we could devise some vows that could be said during the marriage ceremony, something that would cover this... Quoted:
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When it's good,its good, but when it's bad, is really bad. Couldn't have said it any better.. Good luck with your choice.. It's called: * Chris |
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Try counseling first. Most companies, even smaller ones, offer some form of EAP, or Employee Assistance Program. You can call the company they use and cite any recent "stress", and they will offer a limited number of completely free visits to a therapist, counselor, etc. Completely confidential barring domestic violence, etc. Worst case, if you fear or anticipate divorce, the fact that you reached out for counseling may benefit you, and may be a first step in protecting yourself. |
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Ehhhh, I deal with the same shit and have a 2year old. Every mother fucking thing turns into me being the bad guy.
I think it is stress related with her extra motherly duties, but who knows for sure. Hoping it gets better as the kid gets more independent. Wife currently goes to a counselor I have gone once, but pretty sure it's her upbringing issues. Nothing wrong, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't disciplined as a child. |
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Just turned 1 Quoted:
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Try counseling first. This and she may need to be medicated. How old is your son OP? Just turned 1 That might be a big problem too. To be quite blunt, that first year with a kid sucks. They are a pain when they can't do anything. |
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How old are you, do you rent, how much you make a year? IMHO, if you're @30 or so, you're too young to put up with that shit, eject!! I was married 18 years, no kids though, she started that shit and I pulled the ejection handle!!! You forgot one more.. How much 'ya bench? |
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Show her this thread, and invite her to post her version. Her version will be very different. They always are. When one person feels the effort is entirely one sided, the other person usually thinks the same thing, but that the effort is all on their side. That's where counseling can be a huge help. The two people are too emotionally invested in their own side of the story to see things clearly, which is where having an independent observer mediating can become a huge boon toward building bridges, mending fences, and re-establishing open, constructive communication. |
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OP. Guys try to be problem solvers...women just want to vent , she may have a fair bit of stress and no outlet. Imagine having car issues , so you go to the mechanic and tell him all your car problems , not to get them fixed but just so you can get them off your chest...then leave. Thats a women. Be the mechanic.
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Her version will be very different. They always are. When one person feels the effort is entirely one sided, the other person usually thinks the same thing, but that the effort is all on their side. That's where counseling can be a huge help. The two people are too emotionally invested in their own side of the story to see things clearly, which is where having an independent observer mediating can become a huge boon toward building bridges, mending fences, and re-establishing open, constructive communication. Quoted:
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Show her this thread, and invite her to post her version. Her version will be very different. They always are. When one person feels the effort is entirely one sided, the other person usually thinks the same thing, but that the effort is all on their side. That's where counseling can be a huge help. The two people are too emotionally invested in their own side of the story to see things clearly, which is where having an independent observer mediating can become a huge boon toward building bridges, mending fences, and re-establishing open, constructive communication. This is a better response than mine. |
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OP. Guys try to be problem solvers...women just want to vent , she may have a fair bit of stress and no outlet. Imagine having car issues , so you go to the mechanic and tell him all your car problems , not to get them fixed but just so you can get them off your chest...then leave. Thats a women. Be the mechanic. stop trying to help. you're not helping. |
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Don't listen to those who are telling you to get counseling and work it out. There's nothing to work out. She is acting out in that typical female behavior actively trying to sabotage the relationship to make you call it off. That way she can justify it in her own mind and blame you. She's already found someone else to sleep with. The marriage is over - she knows it, her boyfriend knows it, her friends know it, her family knows it - everybody knows it except you. If you don't fall for her antics, her next step will be to start accusing you of having an affair. Women will typically accuse you of doing the stuff that they themselves are guilty of. Mark my words, that's what's coming next. I'll leave this post here unedited so I can say "I told you so" later. Good luck. |
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Quoted: Don't listen to those who are telling you to get counseling and work it out. There's nothing to work out. She is acting out in that typical female behavior actively trying to sabotage the relationship to make you call it off. That way she can justify it in her own mind and blame you. She's already found someone else to sleep with. The marriage is over - she knows it, her boyfriend knows it, her friends know it, her family knows it - everybody knows it except you. If you don't fall for her antics, her next step will be to start accusing you of having an affair. Women will typically accuse you of doing the stuff that they themselves are guilty of. Mark my words, that's what's coming next. I'll leave this post here unedited so I can say "I told you so" later. Good luck. Sorry about your divorce. |
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Sounds like you need to get off your butt and start making yourself a better person. You might not be able to save your marriage but you can work on yourself.
I would recommend you visit the http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/ website, it will help you. |
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Turning 30, rent, not enough (just switched jobs about 6 months ago, about a 12k raise but still in a hole after the last job killed my hours and we ate Into savings to survive) so some money issues don't help any either. Quoted:
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How old are you, do you rent, how much you make a year? IMHO, if you're @30 or so, you're too young to put up with that shit, eject!! I was married 18 years, no kids though, she started that shit and I pulled the ejection handle!!! Turning 30, rent, not enough (just switched jobs about 6 months ago, about a 12k raise but still in a hole after the last job killed my hours and we ate Into savings to survive) so some money issues don't help any either. Try the counseling route. If it doesn't help its time to devise a plan. |