Very short Jokes. Thread - Page 2

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Posted: 12/31/2017 8:27:52 AM EST

[#1]

Quote History

Quoted:
An Irishman walks past a pub...

View Quote

What? It could happen.

Posted: 12/31/2017 8:40:05 AM EST

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:
Dwarf shortage.

View Quote

Came here to post this one.

If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.

Posted: 12/31/2017 8:53:27 AM EST

[#3]

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls around in the dirt, then comes back?

A dirty double crosser.

Posted: 12/31/2017 8:56:38 AM EST

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
@deathhates is so short he had to have his boxers hemmed.

@toobeaucoup is so short you can see his feet in his drivers license photo.

Oh I see you didn't mean short jokes

View Quote

Posted: 12/31/2017 9:06:23 AM EST

[#5]

What do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand?

Quattro Cinco

Posted: 12/31/2017 9:06:34 AM EST

[#6]

Okay, okay lady. It's YOUR elk. Just let me get my saddle off her.

Posted: 12/31/2017 9:06:53 AM EST

[#7]

Double tap

Posted: 12/31/2017 9:54:35 AM EST

[#8]

What do you do in the case of fallout???
Put it back in and take shorter strokes.

Posted: 12/31/2017 9:58:46 AM EST

[#9]

In before "Better Nate than lever"

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:00:19 AM EST

[#10]

Quote History

Quoted:
An Irishman walks past a pub...

View Quote

Alternately:

An Irishman walks out of a pub . . ."

Also:

A seal walks into a club . . .

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:24:37 AM EST

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
@deathhates is so short he had to have his boxers hemmed.

@toobeaucoup is so short you can see his feet in his drivers license photo.

Oh I see you didn't mean short jokes

View Quote

Yes, its true.

Me and @Deathhates are vertically challenged but we're horizontally endowed.

@DaringRaider aka Mr. Short Snek

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:27:19 AM EST

[#12]

Quote History

Quoted:
How do you get 4 gay guys on one barstool?

Turn it over

View Quote

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:27:51 AM EST

[#13]

Quote History

Quoted:
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

View Quote

Why did the opossum cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he has guts.

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:27:54 AM EST

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:

What's the difference in pink and purple?

Your grip.

View Quote

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:28:42 AM EST

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
What do you call a psychic midget that just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large!

View Quote

Hah, that's good

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:36:22 AM EST

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette with bad breath.

View Quote

Thats is fucking fantastic!

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:43:36 AM EST

[#17]

I'm afraid of elevators, but am taking steps to overcome it.

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:50:56 AM EST

[#18]

How do blind people know when they're done wiping?

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:52:54 AM EST

[#19]

Your mother is so fat she bleeds gravy.

Posted: 12/31/2017 10:56:07 AM EST

[#20]

Why do midgets make bad parents?

They have a hard time putting food on the table

What did the gay deer say when he walked out of the bar?

I can't believe I just blew 10 bucks

Posted: 12/31/2017 11:15:08 AM EST

[#21]

Why do congressmen not use bookmarks?

They like their pages bent over.

Posted: 12/31/2017 11:18:45 AM EST

[#22]

What do you say after you poke a deer's eyes out?

.... No idear...

Posted: 12/31/2017 11:28:32 AM EST

[#23]

Why do opposums eat roadkill?

Because you are what you eat.

Posted: 12/31/2017 11:30:15 AM EST

[#24]

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.

Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.

Posted: 12/31/2017 11:31:58 AM EST

[#25]

Where do pirates keep their buccaneers?

Under their buckin hats

Posted: 12/31/2017 1:38:44 PM EST

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:

@DaringRaider aka Mr. Short Snek

https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/464394/IMG_3192_PNG-406872.png

View Quote

I look good in leather

Posted: 12/31/2017 1:53:51 PM EST

[#27]

Why did Mickey stop dating Minnie?

She was fucking goofy...

Posted: 12/31/2017 6:14:47 PM EST

[#28]

Why did the Marine cross the road?

His dick was stuck in the chicken

Posted: 1/1/2018 8:34:31 AM EST

[#29]

Two Cannibals were eating a clown, one said this tastes funny.

Two cannibals were eating a missionary, one said I’m having a ball. The other said your eating too fast.

How do you know Bob Crain’s bike? No seat and hand cuffs on the handle bars.

Your mother’s so fat when she puts on a black dress, she looks like the universe

Posted: 1/1/2018 8:40:53 AM EST

[#30]

you Unzip and look down..

Posted: 1/1/2018 8:46:32 AM EST

[#31]

Op.

Posted: 1/1/2018 9:04:13 AM EST

[#32]

Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in ( fill in town, city, state, country)?

They couldn't find 3 wisemen and a virgin.

Posted: 1/1/2018 9:06:09 AM EST

[#33]

Posted: 1/1/2018 9:17:11 AM EST

[#34]

What do a woman and a tornado have in common?

They both suck and blow and make a lot of noise, and when it's all over your house is gone.

Posted: 1/1/2018 9:22:25 AM EST

[#35]

What's the shit in bird shit?

Bird shit

Posted: 1/1/2018 10:09:37 AM EST

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
Alternately:

An Irishman walks out of a pub . . ."

Also:

A seal walks into a club . . .

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
An Irishman walks past a pub...

Alternately:

An Irishman walks out of a pub . . ."

Also:

A seal walks into a club . . .

Posted: 1/1/2018 10:47:54 AM EST

[#37]

What type of movies do pirates like?
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rated.

Posted: 1/1/2018 10:57:58 AM EST

[#38]

How do you stop a commie from dying?

Take your boot off his neck.

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:09:09 AM EST

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:
How do you stop a commie from dying?

Take your boot off his neck.

View Quote

Not! Happening!

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:11:35 AM EST

[#40]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face???

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:19:19 AM EST

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face???

View Quote

The horse says "because my alcoholism is tearing my family apart."

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:23:10 AM EST

[#42]

Quote History

Quoted:
What's the white shit in bird shit?

Bird shit

View Quote

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:23:49 AM EST

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
The horse says "because my alcoholism is tearing my family apart."

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face???

The horse says "because my alcoholism is tearing my family apart."

No Sarah Jessica Parker jokes?

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:33:15 AM EST

[#44]

Anti-humor is the highest form of humor

Well, behind puns and fart jokes obviously

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:37:44 AM EST

[#45]

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look and says, "I can clearly see yer nuts"

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:47:00 AM EST

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:
Came here to post this one.

If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Dwarf shortage.

Came here to post this one.

If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.

Couldn’t you just be the bigger man?

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:49:13 AM EST

[#47]

You're so short you can play raquette ball against the curb

You're so short that when you sit on a dime your feet dangle.

The theme song to the 60s Batman show was about sodium

186,000 miles per second, it's not just a good idea, it's the law.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:50:32 AM EST

[#48]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac?

He lays awake at night, wondering if there really is a Dog.

Posted: 1/1/2018 11:58:23 AM EST

[#49]

The deer joke is a series people:

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

-No eye deer.!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

-Still no eye deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?

-Still no f-ing eye deer!