Posted: 11/2/2012 9:22:25 AM EDT
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I'm standing there washing my hands before going in the chowhall. (east entrance at southpark) I walk away and start to panic. I cant find my rifle. Where's my fucking rifle!?!? Holy fuck I lost my weapon. I can't find it anywhere. I tell my buddy "I'm fucked, I lost my rifle!" He looks at me like I'm an idiot. He says Im home, not there. Then I notice that I'm in an airplane factory in Dallas, not in AFG.
I swear to God as I walked from the head to my desk I was at KAF. The sights, sounds, and smells. I still smell the poopond and burning trash as I type this, and can clearly see the jingle truck that just drove by causing the moon dust to kick up getting in my eyes. Fuck this shit. I'd rather be living it than re-living it. |
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Quoted: Quoted: It took over 6 months of being back in the States for that to go away. I got that feeling a lot at barber shops. Don't you live in KC? You should be carrying a rifle......and fuckin frags. I live in Cass County.  But I commute to a lot of places with no weapon signage.
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A few months after I got back from Afghanistan I was at listening to Pandora on headphones and the Pink Floyd song called "Get your Filthy Hands off my Desert" came up. I'd never heard it before.... it starts with the sound of a rocket coming in and exploding.
I was already under my desk for a few seconds before I realized what was going on 
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I had missing formation dreams, lost rifle dreams and worst, back in the army dreams for YEARS after I ETSd.
I still have "where's my rifle" moments. The best was right when I got back from my last tour as a contractor in Basra and was buying an M4gery. The fucking incoming alarm went off and I hit the floor with the rifle before I realized it was the guy in line behind me. His goddamned cell phone ring tone was the same as our alarm. I felt bad cause I dropped the F-bomb in front of him and his kid as I hit the floor. Felt worse once I explained and he started frantically apologizing and changing his settings. Had to throw away my alarm clock because it was just a half tone away from the same thing. Not a good way to wake up.
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Quoted: I had missing formation dreams, lost rifle dreams and worst, back in the army dreams for YEARS after I ETSd. I still have "where's my rifle" moments. The best was right when I got back from my last tour as a contractor in Basra and was buying an M4gery. The fucking incoming alarm went off and I hit the floor with the rifle before I realized it was the guy in line behind me. His goddamned cell phone ring tone was the same as our alarm. I felt bad cause I dropped the F-bomb in front of him and his kid as I hit the floor. Felt worse once I explained and he started frantically apologizing and changing his settings. Had to throw away my alarm clock because it was just a half tone away from the same thing. Not a good way to wake up. I have a C-RAM ring tone. Fun stuff. |
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I had an experience like that years ago that hasn't happened again since. It was not about my weapon. It was the combination of sights, smells, temperature and feeling in the air that did it. I was coming out of a post office after checking my mail. It was dusk, starting to get cool, low humidity, and a diesel pick had just driven by, so there was the smell of diesel exhaust in the air. I walked out the door and those things all hit me at the same time, which perfectly duplicated the feeling of evenings in Cement City in Dhahran. It hit me like a slap in the face, stopped me in my tracks. I actually thought I was there again. It smelled and felt exactly the same. Weird feeling, I had to shake it off and keep walking. That was over 15 years ago and that perfect combination of things that were just right hasn't happened since.
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This wasn't the first, but certainly the worst. Been home 2 1/2 fucking years. Initially it was a daily event. I work in a plane factory, lots of rivet guns. Holy shit, my old building made them all asound like fucking talking guns about 1000 yards away.
yes, the cussing makes me feel better. fuck!! |